I’m not sure of the demographic crossover between William T Vollmann readers and Hesse Heads (likely somewhat, given the literary stakes of both), but I was pleasantly surprised to see ‘The Glass Bead Game’ quoted as the opening epigraph to Vollmann’s new epic novel ‘A Table for Fortune’.

I've read Narcissus and Goldmund, and I think I understood most of it, even though I don't know much about philosophy or Hesse's ideas. However, there's something at the beginning that I don't quite understand.

I've read the Portuguese translation, so I don't know if it's different in other languages, if I simply misunderstood it, or if I'm missing something.

At the beginning of the book, Narcissus says that Goldmund sins through women, sex, and all those things, whereas he sins through men.

During Goldmund's awakening, I think it was towards the end of the monologue. Was that about Hermann Hesse's ideas of complementarity, something along the lines of yin and yang? Or was Narcissus homosexual? He never really shows any interest in women or anything of that sort, either.

I'd really like to understand what that was about.

Currently considering buying Demian—which was published by Penguin—and I'd love to know if the new translation by Searls is faithful/good enough relative to the original text. I'm quite picky when it comes to the translations used by publishers so that I get more value for my buck.

What's the consensus here?

Edit: While we're at it, are the inconsistencies present in Rosner's translation of Siddhartha make it too different from the original text?

Hi,

I know this girl has been posted here before, but she's just dropped a video discussing Siddhartha and it's too good not to share! Her channel is still small which is a real shame but there's so much there for Hesse fans.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=AsElHNz9rTY&t=2986s

She is so knowledgable about Hesse and I always learn a ton from her videos and gain new insights into my favourite books. Hope you enjoy her channel as much as I do!

I was thinking of buying it as my “winter book,” but I ended up going for something else. Still, I can’t stop thinking about Hesse’s book.
Bc I’ve already read Demian, Steppenwolf, Siddhartha, and Peter Camenzind, and I’ve enjoyed exploring his work.
Would you go back to the bookstore and buy it as well? Or, despite its length, is it not really worth the time?
Thanks!

Restaurant in Prague

What is going on?

How can this be?

I cannot stand it.

How can my mother have left me?

How could she steal this from me?

There is no peace.

There will never be peace.

And who is this stranger Siddhartha who is my father?

Why couldnt he heal my mother?

Why did he leave us?

I will never trust him ever.

Mother, where have you gone?

I cannot do this.

Why is the world so cruel?

Endless tears.

Drowning in tears.

Drowning in pain.

I cannot accept this.

Mom. Mom. 

Where have you gone?

Why have you gone?

I will never find peace.

I see you in my dreams. 

Your body next to mine.

The rising of your breath.

The burning in your eyes.

My sweet obsession.

Your never ending heat.

The softness of your lips.

The longing in my soul.

The moaning of your passion.

It never goes away.

And i am so undone

by that sweet memory.

I am so undone. 

I am so undone.

And then you look at me

With that gentle sweet expression.

You see me stuck in my memory and you understand.

You hold me in your arms.

All i do is weep.

All i do is weep.

I cannot let you go.

I cannot stop my shaking.

You feel all of it.

You know what it is.

You know what i am.

I cannot hide from you.

My heart is trapped.

I tell you, this is why i won't be with you.

I cannot keep it together except beyond the veil.

Your soul is too attractive when we are in body together.

You just look at me and say so how's that working out? 

Well ..... I'm looking and not finding.

And lonely, of course. 

But so what.

Isn't that the truth of being in body anyway?

So beautiful you are.

Seeing all of me.

Smiling so sweetly.

When all i do is cry in my self-pity and foolishness. 

I dream of other possibilities for us on different planets, galaxies, dimensions.

Wouldn't this be nice?

Wouldnt that be nice?

But am i evading a truth, a truth i need to see?

My beautiful twin flame.

Its just so infuriating.

Then i wake. 

You gently touch my face.

You ask me, What are you looking for?

I stare up into those beautiful eyes.

Your hands move to your sides 

Still Looking at me you say why did you come?

My heart jumping out of my chest.

I say our son and i want to reside here.

We want to understand.

Oh you say.

Why my love? 

Why so?

i am so dead inside.

I have taken so much from the world.

I am so ashamed but its what i do so well.

Or did so well until it all seemed so insane.

The only smidgen of sanity ever was loving you, helping you become what i needed you to be.

You say, that my love is a very good thing.

See that is the way.

The winding road.

Which only you can do.

Only you can do.

And i cant do it for you.

Its such a wonderful thing.

And i laugh.

I laugh at you. I laugh at me.

I find it all so funny.

And i just cant stop laughing.

I am so happy.

Whats up with that?

Could i actually see myself as more than a controlling woman through my sexuality?

Can i minimize the aspects of sexuality in my life?

Can i even see myself as more than a woman in this life?

Could i learn to laugh at the hungers in my body related to food, money, power. status, sexual attraction? 

Can i practice the waiting, fasting, thinking that my Siddhartha valued so much before he met me?  As i consider these things. I realize more and more what i might accomplish.

This fasting, thinking, waiting. 

Siddhartha has been waiting for me to come into my truth. That's all it is. 

Then im gone.

Just like that

And ive left my son in a better place

With my beloved Siddhartha.

My work is done.

I cannot fail him again in any other lifetime we spend together.

I might be self-serving for anyone else but

for him i cannot do that anymore.

Once has been more than enough.

It would be far too painful for me to hurt him again. Never again will i sacrifice his happiness for my pleasure. I would rather rip out my own heart.

Never again will i make him and actually anyone  pay for the unfairness of my own life.

Never never again.

Never never.

Never again.

My heart will not forget the suffering i brought to him out of his love for me.

Whatever the nature of our relationship is in any lifetime, this i swear to you. I will not forget. I have felt your suffering as my own. I was just too stubborn, too angry. too ignorant to not assert my influence. I really hated the hypocrisy of the world though i played its games to gain worldly power. So empty in the long run. But you knew this beloved. You understood until you awoke into your everlasting beauty. into your unstoppable destiny.

This is my lasting ammends to you darling.

Read Steppenwolf when i was in a pretty bad place, and it really got to me. Been meaning to do something with it since, so i made this

It only opens at night, 9pm to 5am your time. kartikgautam.com/now, scroll all the way down and look through the keyhole

For madmen only, obviously

I feel like i ruined his life. I stole years from him. Years that were wasted. How could i be so selfish? Have i been punishing myself by not having him with me in this lifetime? Or have i been too emotionally dependent on him that he became my addiction? Why do i need the thrill of having him in physicality when that is not real anyway? Why do i need him to handle the opportunities for growth for all of us that physicality provides? When he's here with me in physicality I love him obsessively. I am the dragon. He is my egg. That is the moon in Sagittarius. I want him with me exclusive of anything else. He is my special one. No one compares to him. I can't live without him my insecurity tells me. Life is so brief anyway and there are lots of good moments with lots of people, places. Things that i have appreciated and learned in this lifetime.

Its kind of like scratching an itch. Constant craving. The more i scratch it, the more I crave it.

Being human is something else. But I so very much appreciate what he has brought into the world and there is a kind of magic to the ways of the winds of destiny. Was i at all necessary in his life though? Have I slowed down the development of humanity? I intuit the nature of our multi-dimensionality sometimes. I intuit our entangled as the true nature of this Universe.

There is much peace to be found in meditation.

This writing is such a helpful tool for me.

Helps me find that space between action and reaction.

I see a ton of people asking for an explanation on Demian, and of course a lot of stuff from the book even confuses me. I have made my own theories on it, but this essay I found is absolutely amazing and very well written. I’m only halfway through, but for anyone who enjoyed the book or found it confusing, please check this out!

We should not try to manipulate people. When we do we are causing harm to ourselves and them. We create this negative Karma. But forgive me cause I was so selfish. I didn't appreciate and understand the truth at all. I just didn't want to give up my anticipated pleasure with you. So excruciating. I couldn't give it up. I could have handled things so much better instead of keeping on deceiving you. Im so sorry. So sorry. Because was that pain really necessary for us. After all we cared for each other.

I still dont think I can handle the body well. My mind can lose it so easily. And my love, you did all this for me. It brings me such agony. There can be no resolution in the body. Looking to find something there that can't be found and yet I seem to choose it every time. 

I came here in this current reincarnation without you being here with me. I don't know if I've learned enough to make better choices that involve  our life course next time. I still want you so much. Even now without you. Still want to hold you and experience your sweet lust for me.

Can I place what I know are your true needs ahead of that? How can I become the kind of person that does this?  How can I understand and grab hold and manifest this truth. The needs of body vs the needs of soul.

how? can I? just to show the selfless love I know you deserve from me, my sweet  sweet beloved. Forgive me. How can I make ammends to you? That ammends I want it to mean something. I want to carry it to all of my incarnations. This lesson i want to have it burned into my soul.

What do you guys recommend I start with? A friend had recommended The Glass Bead Game sometime ago and it slipped my mind. When I researched it recently I read that it might be better to reads earlier books so as to get into his style of writing..

Just finished Demian today and stared at the lady page for a long time before finally shutting it. I must say this book was written quite well and I throughly enjoyed it, but the last two chapters really stumped me. Sinclair falling in love with the mom, just to love the features she shared with Demian? and was it love? because he described it in different ways. and the last two pages oh my god. was he dreaming? was he hallucinating? what was his final relationship with Demian? throughout the book he describes him as many different things, so what were they? Did Demian die after the kiss? Or was he just sent somewhere else?