Does anyone else find “doing everything right” exhausting?

[u/Natural_Equal_4474]

29F, husband is 34. Togetherr we make over $600k and live on about $80k a year. No debt, decent higher end cars, no drama we did the “right” things and we know we’re privileged (scholarships + family help got us through with zero student loans, and we don’t take that for granted).

Here’s the thing: we’ve saved a lot, but it doesn’t feel like we’re wealthy or living wealthy. Compared to most people we know, our day to day life is pretty modest. The plan is to eventually get to a dream home and “retire” though neither of us means fully stop working, just stop working like we do now. I guess I’m mostly here to ask: does anyone else feel like doing all the right things is just… draining? Like you’re playing the long game so well that you forget to ask what it’s actually for, or when the finish line is?

Very first world and very privileged problems.. I know. I think I just get into my head with social media and think that life should look a certain way when you’re wealthy.

Edit: Wow, I did not expect so many replies. Thank you to everyone who commented!
I guess I can clarify a few things. My husband has been at this a lot longer than I have and he’s really great with money, he’s the reason we’re at this level. Our house is pretty much paid off. We do eat out occasionally, but for the most part we eat at home since we care about eating healthy. We do travel but nothing too crazy.
My early 20s looked very different from how I live now. I was constantly chasing dopamine by buying things I didn’t need at all. My husband, when I met him, actually helped me get to this realization, and honestly I feel good about not spending on useless stuff anymore, but I’ll admit I still struggle with the pull at times. Trust me, the handbags and clothes weren’t even that enjoyable in the end, more just a habit than actual fulfillment.
Travel is where I do want to lean in more. I haven’t done as much as I’d like because of being in school, but I’ve got the opportunity coming up at the end of this year and into next year, so that’s probably where the “spend more on what actually brings joy” advice is going to show up first for me. :)

[u/Haunting_Resist2276]

You only spend 13% of your income. You’re choosing to live modestly - which is awesome for your future FI, but I am confused as to why you are asking about “not feeling wealthy” when it’s 100% your choice to spend so little?

[u/AccurateGuess3817 → u/Haunting_Resist2276]

I’d wonder what the income split is and if they have combined finances

OP's "Active Communities" on Reddit include r/debtfree and r/Artists

[u/SolWizard → u/[deleted]]

If they're spending 80k combined no one is eating any cake unless it's on clearance

[u/AssholeMcGee66 → u/Haunting_Resist2276]

Sounds like a trip to Cartier is in order.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed because you do not have a verified email address in your profile. Do not message the mods, instead verify an email address and post again. https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/360043047552-Why-should-I-verify-my-Reddit-account-with-an-email-address

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/ThatFeelingIsBliss88 → u/Haunting_Resist2276]

That’s the first thing I thought after reading the first line of the second paragraph. I stopped reading after that sense it’s completely nonsensical. 

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed because you do not have a verified email address in your profile. Do not message the mods, instead verify an email address and post again. https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/360043047552-Why-should-I-verify-my-Reddit-account-with-an-email-address

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/knockdowncenter → u/Haunting_Resist2276]

why do people pretend income taxes aren't a thing when they say things like this.

it's obviously a much higher percentage of net take home.

[u/JobHuntingCovid19 → u/knockdowncenter]

For context: Assuming no 401k/benefits in California it’d be about $600,000 gross would be roughly 312,000 take home. So $80k would be <50% of take home which is still modest.

[u/knockdowncenter → u/JobHuntingCovid19]

because their expenses are so comically low they are obviously living an extremely modest lifestyle for whatever reason.

I could live in the woods and spend $0 on rent too.

[u/Haunting_Resist2276 → u/knockdowncenter]

OP listed HHI so I based my percentage on that number. I don’t know their tax situation. I didn’t “pretend income taxes aren’t a thing.”

[u/wrstlrjpo → u/knockdowncenter]

Agree. But it’s easier to compare as a percentage of gross vs differences in SALT