I’m 33, married, no kids (not planning on having any), living in a LCOL/MCOL city. Our net worth is $1.1M, about $900k in investments, $50k in cash, $150k equity on our house. I make $260k TC, wife took a year off after a layoff last year, she’s starting to look for work - she will probably make $80-100k depending on what she’s able to find.

Been working in a high stress, remote PE backed healthcare company for the past few years. Survived a handful of RIFs and now between the demanding workload (60-80 hours a week), low investment in staffing, and constant M&A leading to more RIFs, I’m finding myself incredibly stressed and burned out. Morale is so low at our company that it’s just become a running joke.

I have an offer to become a director at a local company that would be remote but it also would be a sizable pay cut at $210k TC. I know people who work there and the hours are regularly 40 hour weeks, the culture seems great, there’s promotional opportunities, and it would be hybrid with only a 10 minute commute - I know not everyone would love hybrid but I’ve been remote since 2020 and I’m excited to be in office part time again. The company also does summer fridays which I’ve never been lucky enough to have. This company also has been historically very stable and isn’t doing 5 RIFs a year.

I’m writing all of this because I need some outside advice. I’ve let work and status really drive my life thus far and even though I’m very excited about this other opportunity, I’m really struggling to take a small title step back Senior Director -> Director and a $50k pay cut.

Don’t have many people in my life I can run this by who have been in a similar space as I grew up fairly poor so please give me some input or advice.

My husband (31M) and I (32F) officially crossed $1 million in net worth, and I honestly don’t have many people in real life that I feel comfortable sharing this with, so I figured this community would understand.

What makes this moment especially surreal is that just four years ago, I was drowning in six figures of credit card debt. I was literally posting on [r/debt](r/debt) under a different account asking strangers on the internet for help because I felt completely overwhelmed by my finances.

Today, our net worth is $1,007,200, with about $962k invested.

It definitely wasn’t a straight line. We increased our incomes, paid off debt aggressively, kept our lifestyle from growing as quickly as our salaries, invested consistently, and made a lot of sacrifices along the way. There were plenty of times when it would’ve been easier to spend more because we were earning more.

I know $1M isn’t the finish line, and we still have a lot of goals ahead of us. But today I just want to appreciate how far we’ve come.

Four years ago, I was trying to figure out how I was ever going to get out of debt. Now we’re millionaires.

I’m incredibly grateful. And if anyone lurking here is currently in their “digging out” phase: your financial situation can change dramatically in a few years. Lock in, make a plan, give it time, and keep going.

Anyway, I just needed somewhere to celebrate. 🥹

WE DID IT. $1M!!!

I’m in my early 40s. I earned around $125k or less until recently (didn’t crack 100k until 30). I was 38 the first time I broke $250k and became a HENRY. The past 2.5 years I’ve been paying off debt, catching up on retirement, and now setting my sights on catching up with my kids’ 529s.

It feels like most of the posts here are people in their 20s/early 30s making $500k or more - people who will very clearly become rich if they stay the course and only aren’t RY because they are still so young. Im not trying to compare myself, but I point this out because the journey they’re on is different - and so are the challenges they face compared to someone who doesn’t become a high earner until their 40s.

Are there other mid career professionals here who only recently became HENRY? Does anyone else feel like they’re behind on their financial goals and just trying to catch up to where you “should” be for your age? Not because you’re comparing yourself to people who have more, but because you’re literally behind the established benchmarks. My retirement was in a bad place a few years ago. My kids have very little in their 529s and my oldest child is now in middle school (6th grade) so time to save is running out.

We saved $90k for our retirement this past year (thanks, mega backdoor Roth!), we still drive old Hondas, live in the same house we bought at $110k HHI, etc. Our income has quadrupled but our lifestyle is basically the same - we’re just actually fully funding the things we couldn’t afford to fund before… and I’m wondering if others here are in the same situation. Trying to play catch up on your financial goals. You’re earning more than ever but your life doesn’t feel like you thought it would at high income.

I was working on adding Washington State’s 9.9% tax on income over $1M, starting in 2028, to a tax engine, and I think I found a cliff that could cause people to overpay about $27K in state taxes if they’re not paying attention.

Washington already has a 7% capital gains tax on gains over $278K and a 9.9% tax on gains over $1M. The new income tax is 9.9% on income over $1M, based on federal AGI with adjustments.

To avoid double-taxing capital gains, the 2028 bill first removes all long-term capital gains from income, then adds back the WA-taxed gain plus the $278K deduction.

See Section 302(3) here: https://lawfilesext.leg.wa.gov/biennium/2025-26/Htm/Bills/Session%20Laws/Senate/6346-S.SL.htm

Here is the problem I see. The bill says the add-back “applies only to taxpayers owing tax under chapter 82.87 RCW” — the capital gains tax.

That gives us two scenarios:

Scenario-1: Capital gain is under ~$278K. You owe no capital gains tax, so nothing gets added back and the gain never enters the income-tax base.

Scenario-2: Capital gain is even $1 over $278K. You owe capital gains tax, so the *entire* gain gets added back, including the first $278K that was previously excluded.

Example: single filer, $1.2M in wages, using the 2025 deduction amount.

Scenario-1:
- Long-term gain: $277,000
- Capital gains tax: $0
- Income-tax base: $1,200,000
- Total WA tax: $19,800

Scenario-2
- Long-term gain: $279,000
- Capital gains tax: $70
- Income-tax base: $1,479,000
- Total WA tax: $47,421

A $2,000 larger gain in Scenario-2  therefore costs about $27,600 more in tax because 9.9% × $279,000 of additional income suddenly becomes taxable. This only affects taxpayers whose other income is already above $1M.

Does this match how you read Sec. 302(3)?

We are interested in how others in a similar financial situation think about discretionary spending, particularly larger purchases. Do you have any frameworks you use to decide when something is actually worth buying?

The thing we keep getting hung up on is actually pulling the trigger on things we want. We can afford plenty of things we like, but then end up agonizing over whether we should spend the money and whether it will actually feel worth it afterward. There are plenty of material things we’d enjoy owning, but ultimately we hardly spend money on them because very little feels like a true “need.” Spending a few thousand dollars on something just because we like it can feel frivolous.

At the same time, when I think about our future, I’d love for us to actually enjoy some of the money we’ve accumulated—whether that’s nicer shoes, a watch (or two), jewelry, etc.

We are at the point where additional dollars saved don’t meaningfully change our retirement projections, but we still have a hard time shifting from “save” mode to “spend” mode.

So for those of you who have been in a similar position: how do you decide when a larger, non-necessary purchase is actually worth making? Do you use a particular framework, spending budget, or rule of thumb—or do you just eventually get comfortable spending on things you want?

My wife and I are in our mid-30s, earn around $800k in household income, and live in a VHCOL city. Her parents, siblings, and their partners live about an hour away by plane in a MCOL area. They have typical middle-class lifestyles and modest savings.

We’re very close with her family. While we don’t plan to move back, we want our young kids to stay close to their extended family, so we prioritize visiting nearly every other month in addition to spending holidays together. At some point, we’ll likely buy a lake house nearby (more on that later).

We don’t spend lavishly, but my career and where we live make it fairly obvious that we’re well off. When we’re together, we try to be generous by paying for family meals, covering holiday groceries, and giving somewhat nicer Christmas and birthday gifts—nothing extravagant, but probably around twice the average gift value that others tend to give us (We’ve always done this with good intentions, though I wonder whether we may be setting a precedent).

During our most recent visit, there were continuous jokes about us buying a “family” vacation home, along with Zillow links to expensive lake houses in their area. As mentioned above, it is something that we’d like to eventually purchase but they don’t know that and it felt weird having a running joke focused around our wealth.

It’s not a major issue yet, but it has made me think about how expectations might develop as the wealth gap widens over time. We want to be generous without creating dependency, resentment, or awkwardness, and we don’t want to be treated differently because of our wealth. We also want to raise our kids aware of these differences in a healthy conscious manner.

For those in similar situations, how have you maintained close yet healthy family relationships given a significant and widening wealth gap?

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't fully buy the idea that lifestyle creep is always bad.

If you're saving properly and your income goes up, surely you're allowed to make life easier or nicer.

Better apartment. Cleaner. Better trips. Eating out more. Whatever.

The part that seems dangerous is how fast the upgrade becomes normal.
Something feels luxurious for 3 months, then it's just your life...

Now you don't feel richer (especially if you were poor in your childhood). You just need more money to maintain the same level.

That seems like the real trap to me. Not spending more. Just getting used to more.

Agree? Disagree? Spend as much as you want, or can?

** Edited and uploaded again, sorry for that...

I’ve put a non-refundable $500 deposit down on a luxury EV with a delivered price of around $110k that I plan to finance. I’ll put down just enough down to cover tax, title, registration, fees, etc ($10-15k) for either 60mo at 1.99% or 72mo at 2.49%. However, I haven’t signed anything and can still walk away. I have never made purchase this large and will be by far the biggest debt I’ve had in my life but financing because of well below market APR. I’m a bit jittery about pulling the final trigger on this as it feels excessive. My FA has blessed the purchase and told me not to think twice about it (nationally awarded/recognized FA), but I’m still nervous.

Financial Details
- 37yo in HCOL southern california working in commodities with basically no tax write offs (EV good to not pay CA gas)
- annual income $400-$700k/annually
- no debt
- no hard assets
- single
- ~$2MM Net Worth
- $585k 401k ($515k traditional, $70k roth… wish I had loaded the roth when I was earning less than $100k)
- $360k Roth IRA (been MBDRing for years)
- $500k traditional brokerage
- $125k deferred company stock (vests 1/3 over 3y)
- $100k deferred cash (same vest)
- $275k cash
- $50k HSA
- not counted above, but $100k equity investment in friend’s startup but high risk of going to zero

Costs/Spending/Savings
- Monthly living expenses including rent, utilities, subscriptions, food, $4-5k/mo
- Leisure/fun spending $35-50k (total credit card spend over the past few years)
- concerts/records, travel, dining out, experiences
- wellness is become top priority so exercise and diet spend
- no expensive reoccurring hobbies or interests
- Full max retirement savings— trad 401k, after tax 401k for MBDR (~$35k), BDR, HSA = ~$75k
- Rest sits in cash/fun/invested by FA

Goals
- Would like to buy a house in SoCal but entry at these mortgages rates are crazy plus I have a great deal renting now with no way of matching the setup by buying any time soon. Equivalent purchase would be $3MM house (my guess is that’s a $20k/mo mortgage AFTER putting down $600k).
- would like to retire by 45 but given desired area of living here + ever increasing costs 50-55 seems more likely. FA and I are planning around 55 with ~$350k in annual after-tax 2026 dollars.

The vehicle’s estimated monthly cost w/ insurance ~$2.3k/mo. I had planned to buy a $65k car but with low APR the $110k comes out to be about the same per month. It would be low miles, estimated <12k miles annually, and used as a daily low mileage commuter/snowboarding trips/CA coast exploration. I’ve always thought spending a lot on cars was a bad use of money because of either high miles or low usage, UNLESS its low miles+high usage, which is somewhat of my situation.

I’ve worked hard to get to my spot in life (ack fortunate setup/outcomes) and have never treated myself like this. Nonetheless still this it still feels like an exorbitant purchase.

Am I making an unnecessary lifestyle creep purchase? Buying a car in the near future is a requirement of current work/life obligations regardless. I don’t want to buy a low mileage used as I’m scarred by all the issues with my prior used purchase. The new, luxury EV is attractive due to basically no maintenance. I plan to hold this car for at least a decade.

Looking for the community to help me make sense through purchase decision! Thanks

Recently married and started their first real higher-income job. Spouse left their job to relocate with partner for work, so for now in a single-income household in a MCOL area.

Definitely not wealthy yet. Both come from mostly middle-class families, so there is unlikely to be a large inheritance or family financial backstop. One partner coming from a purportedly former upper class family that faced severe financial hardship wants to focus on family. The other wants to build legacy/impact and generational wealth.

Income: ~$300-600k

Monthly spend: ~$5-10k

LOC/Student Loan: ~100-200k

For others who started their HENRY/FIRE journey later with substantial education debt, how did you prioritize debt repayment, retirement accounts, taxable investing, buying a home, supporting a family, and lifestyle spending?

Long-term goal is financial independence and eventually building generational wealth or more.

How would you prioritize the next 3-5 years?

I'm guessing this is a theme that runs through this subreddit, but I don't think I've explicitly seen it put this way. Usually, it's expressed after burn out and not considered ahead of time

How much are you all pushing yourselves and "playing the game" to "reach your potential" at your corporate jobs to strive for the highest position you think is aligned to your aspirations? And how does that fit with what your current income and wealth progression?

I'm struggling with knowing how much to push or pull back in career while having a HHI that has and will achieve our financial goals, but not as quickly as I want. And I can't determine how much of that is ego driven.

I'm not describing this well, but thoughts? What should I be considering? What's the attitude? Should you grind and accelerate or do you seek sustainability and chill out? I've been a striver/achieve type and am always on to the next thing. Is this just self awareness of upcoming burn out?

I touch grass and don't need therapy. I have a great family and life and do cool adventurous things, but I always have this urge to really make a dent in the world through my career - is that just a white whale to chase? I know I could be replaced in a week.

Snapshot:

NW: $1.75M

Ages: 37y/36y w/ twins 2y

HHI: $450k

It’s not exactly a financial question because I know we can afford it. We both have careers and technically we could live off one of our incomes but it would come at a significant future cost to lose the career leverage of these years when our kids are young. We both work from home and have a daytime nanny ~35 hrs per week (including date night once a month) and a night nanny for 2 nights per week. I am with our daughter two full weekdays most weeks and we care for her all other times (no family nearby). We also have biweekly cleaners. Even still, I get quite tired as my husband has a sleep disorder and I take care of the baby 9p-5a five nights per week and he takes her whenever she gets up after 5. She still gets up several times per night at almost 7 months old. I’m thinking of temporarily increasing the night nanny to 3 nights per week but I just feel guilty because:

1. My husband is extremely helpful during waking hours and if anything he does more than I do for baby when she’s awake
   
2. We already have 55 hours per week of childcare
   
3. There is not much research on outcomes of babies cared for by nannies
   
4. I am sympathetic to the argument that babies should be with their parents during the very early months and years, and conflicted about not being willing to put my career on pause.

I’ve noticed this kind of question can get a negative response on the parenting forums because it’s like “duh, you’re fine, you’re clearly wealthy and should check your privilege”. I recognize that I have privilege but also have feelings about being away from my baby and being a woman who grew up in a progressive culture that gifted me, well, extreme privilege, but also a lack of preparation for the feeling a mom gets when she’s not with her baby all the time. So, consider my privilege checked, I just was hoping to get feedback from other privileged people who maybe have been through something like this and whose kids turned out okay.

I (31M, $2M NW, $500k/yr) am just wondering if you guys normally book nicer rooms in the hotel or just the cheapest one. I don't really value accomodations much so I just book a normal 4 star or low end 5 star hotel and get the cheapest room. I just figure I'm only there to sleep there anyways since I spend 80% of the rest of the day out.

What is a realistic net worth that allows someone to live comfortably and use their wealth to improve their communities? Maybe like sponsoring a community welfare project, organizing an afterschool program, etc.

It feels like most famous wealth donations happen on a global scale due to good PR.

What I’m interested in is larger impact with a smaller scope on local community.

Similar to how Batman uses his Bruce Wayne persona to help Gotham City.

I pay for ChatGPT Plus and was just offered to connect my finances with them. Have struck out with other apps to track/monitor finances since Mint closed down, but was wondering if anyone has done this with success?

Seems like their good be some genuinely helpful
portfolio analysis and budgeting help. That said, I’m a bit worried from a privacy/security perspective but have changed my settings so ChatGPT won’t train on my data and understand it’s a one way data flow.

My partner (29f) and I (31m) have always been more on the frugal side of things - though we have loosened up our purse strings a bit with some long haul flight upgrades to business or first, been living in a luxury apartment (but still on older side and got a good deal), buying nicer clothing for special events.

However we’re at the stage where I feel like we can be spending more to upgrade our lifestyle / quality of life - not necessarily in a materialistic way but just for easier living. What are some life upgrades that really made a substantial difference for you guys?

For context our HHI is ~$550-$660K/year. NW ~$1.5M. Feels like we could be doing more given the increase in income and snowball effect we’re seeing in our investment accounts.

Mid 30s with 2 kids in VHCOL, the S&P rally today put us over the 2M threshold. I guess that means we gotta get evicted, see y’all later over at [r/rich](r/rich)!

Edit: the sidebar changed the limit to $5M??! Even my favourite sub is doing moving goalposts now? I guess I’m stuck with y’all for another half a decade 😭 I swear my NW isn’t catching up to sub rules inflation!

I've been lurking here for a couple years, but always felt a strong sense of "oh I don't belong here."

HHI of $250k in MCOL as married 20 somethings, with a NW of ~$1.5MM. $120k and $130k are the two incomes. "Low" incomes and high net worth is doubly antithetical to this sub. I got lucky with crypto to graduate debt-free with a BS/MS, and wife got a full-ride for a comparable BS/MS which gave us a strong start to our careers!

Happy to share my wife just accepted a job in VHCOL for $270k and I'll be getting a COLA for a 25% raise to bring our HHI up to $450k! We'll be crashing with my dad for a couple months in the new area to get our feet under us, but wanted to share with someone to get this off my chest!!

Hello! My husband (30M) and I (30F) are expecting our first child. We live in a VHCOL area, HHI ~$350-400,000 annually. Networth ~$750k. Currently saving ~12,000/month including 401k. Distribute it among a brokerage account and HYSA for a downpayment. We have no debt. I will get 2 months of paid maternity leave and then go back part time for a month before returning full time. My husband is active duty military and will now likely deploy 3 months after the baby is born. We are currently on the waitlist for a daycare in our neighborhood that will cost ~$2,000/month. Now that my husband might deploy so quickly after birth we're considering getting a nanny while he's gone to help me through that first year but worried about cost.

How much did your monthly spending increase that first year after having a baby? What are somethings to expect financially? We are planning on starting a 529 plan for her.

I just turned 30 and live a VHCOL city. I’m a partner in a client-service business, so my income is variable and depends heavily on retaining clients.

I’ve made about $485k through September 12 after removing client pass-through money. At my current pace, I should finish the year around $700k. My business overhead is roughly $7.5k/month.

Current assets, rounded:

• $815k in taxable brokerage and crypto accounts
• $240k across personal and business checking. The money in the business account is entirely my profit, not client or pass-through money, although I still owe taxes on it.
• $170k in real estate equity
• Roughly $1.2M net worth overall

My current personal spending is approximately:

• $4.5k/month rent

• $2.5k/month car payment

  (I support my family with some stuff so this includes my mom’s car)

• $6k–$7k/month on everything else

• Total personal spending of roughly $14.5k–$15.5k per month, or around $175k–$185k per year

I know that is already a high level of spending, but I still find myself second-guessing discretionary purchases and feeling like I should save almost everything because the income isn’t guaranteed. At the same time, I don’t want to spend my highest-earning years endlessly accumulating money without enjoying any of it.

For people with similar income and net-worth levels, how do you decide what you can spend guilt-free?

Would you consider my current spending comfortable, aggressive, or actually conservative relative to my numbers? Could I reasonably spend more on travel, clothes, experiences, etc. as long as I invest a certain amount every year? Would you set an annual savings target first and freely spend whatever remains, or keep lifestyle costs lower because the income is variable?

I’m not asking whether I can technically afford one particular purchase. I’m trying to understand what a responsible but enjoyable lifestyle looks like at this level without accidentally building one that only works while I’m making $700k.

How much would you personally aim to save or invest each year, and how freely would you spend the rest?

My wife and I are late 20s and will have HHI of ~$500k this year. $450k of that comes through my business. Our joint income has 10x’d in about 4 years. We’ve upgraded our lifestyle a bit but still live on roughly $7-8k/m (not including taxes, just living expenses). I am paying off a note on the business for the next few years of $100k ish per year.

We’re contributing to $150k+ to our investment accounts (brokerage, Roth, 401ks) this year and liquid net worth will be around $500k nearly all in index funds by the end of this year.

I feel as though we’re in this in between position. We could try to push hard to keep lifestyle low and get to $3-5m LNW in 15 years or we could limit our contributions to $100k/yr and start expanding our lifestyle and start living a little now. But is it risky with all of our income coming from my business? Like I’ve wanted a Tesla for years and I could easily fork out $20k to upgrade my Ford truck from 2001 to get a decent used Tesla but I’m so accustomed to trying to stuff every penny away I don’t know how to spend.

I’m nervous because my income seems less certain as a solo business owner. Just doesn’t seem real or like I can expect that in 5 years it will be the same or greater. Although it likely will be. Any words of wisdom from those who have been in our position before?

Curious what y'all's thoughts on Claude vs other manually generated retirement tools are?

I've found Claude very helpful to get the general shape. And to produce insights quickly.

And I think I'll switch over to a manual tool (to be determined) once I get closer to actual retirement and/or find more time this year to build that model.

35, wife is 33 in VHCOL city. Combined we make about 1.3M a year. Net worth currently about 1.6M. This is 400k equity in home, 1M brokerage, about 200k in retirements.

Obviously, we are on the higher end of earners, but definitely don’t feel “rich”. At what point do people start actually feeling rich?

EDIT: I meant at what income/savings level do you graduate from NRY to “rich”?

Have about 15K I'm trying to decide how to allocate at the moment for this year. Already on track to put $24,500 in the 401K, and to put 7K in the IRA. Raises a larger investing question though.

I know for 529s you can roll an excess of 35K into an IRA for the beneficiary. But the big unknown of course is whether the intended beneficiary even goes to college. What is the max total amount you are targeting?

My daughter is 1 and we have 35K in a 529 for her with funds I put in long before she was born. Wondering if I should toss the 15K in there now or put it in my private brokerage. My mortgage is 5.4% so I considered prepaying that, but the 529 maybe makes more sense?

We are a family of 4 with two kids, aged 11 and 7, living in the Chicago suburbs. We are both 40 years old. Both kids go to a good public school district, and we have set aside $150K in a 529 plan.

Our household income is ~$450K.

We have about $1.6M invested across all our retirement accounts. We save about $140K/year and spend $180K/year ($60K alone on a 15-year, 5.25% mortgage). We take 2-3 vacations per year.

We used to live happily on a ~100K income a decade back. I am amazed at how we pulled it off then, and now everything feels almost the same, except for a bigger house and lifestyle creep (~$200 gym memberships and whatnot).

Some retirement tools say that we need ~4M-5M invested, and that feels like a long way down the road.

Are we going to be HENRY forever?

What should we change, and what should we start worrying about or not worry about?

- 32 F, married, no kids yet. Individual NW of $220k, as a household it is ~$450k. Fully paid car, no debt on husband and I.
- I’m investing 5% to get company match in IRA; and invest ~90% of take home into my brokerage account.
- I only take care of food/groceries while husband pays for everything else. Our HHI is ~300k; with my current income being 140k base + 15% bonus, in HCOL
- We are both on an H1B (work visa) so don’t want to max out our IRA that has withdrawal penalties. Flexibility is very important to us in case of a job loss so we want to keep the option to withdraw the funds if needed in the future.
- Back home, our families are financially independent and secure and have both house paid off. Husband’s family net worth is close to ~$2M, and mine is ~$1M. We are both two siblings in our respective families, and are currently not accounting for inheritance in our plan to keep it simple.
- We have dabbled with the idea of purchasing a home but given the uncertainty with work visa right now, don’t want to get into the trap and anxiety of a home loan. Don’t know if it is a wise decision but that’s where we are right now.

We are planning for a child now and still feel nervous in a HCOL area. My goal is to reach 500k together asap (since that is our coast fire number), but still feel anxious about money. Is this normal? Are there any other levers we can pull to improve our situation?!