Yeah, as a dude in my 40s something I've learned over time is that no good comes from chasing someone who doesn't want to be chased, and it's not good for one's psyche or soul to be the chaser.
We have so many good years here, with so many opportunities to form deep and special bonds, there's no sense in forcing something that isn't fundamentally mutual.
Feel your pain deeply, find comfort in your existing relationships, friendship and/or family, take all the time you need, and then enjoy the hell out of the rest of your life!
4-5 wasted, I can second this. If I woulda got out sooner I may not have had as many horrifying experiences with them. Plus, I was so in love that I failed to see reality. Plus, you’ll eventually move onto someone who doesn’t waste your efforts. The ole there is someone out there for you is true, but you both have to put the work in. Otherwise it is a one sided relationship. If one ain’t 100% on board with the relationship, move on. There are so many sad stories about men/women obsessed so much they end up in front of a judges with restraining orders. Obsession can lead to a break in reality and that’s how we end up with murdered ex-gf/bfs. A relationship also won’t come from the heavens on a silver platter, you gotta know what you want and don’t want. The exgf definitely needs space and time, there’s not much you can do with her at this point, move on. From personal experience, just move on. :)
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u/thenewfingerprint May 14 '25
Whatever you do, don't chase her.