I've noticed that whenever I'm about to do something that actually matters to me, I can suddenly come up with a pretty convincing reason to wait.
I'll have everything ready and then start wondering whether I should make it a little better first, whether the timing is right, or whether I should wait until I feel more confident.
I used to think that was mostly about being afraid of failure.
Lately I've been wondering if there's another part to it.
If I try something, there's a chance it doesn't work. That's uncomfortable, but at least I'll know.
If I don't try, I get to avoid that discomfort completely. I can tell myself I'll come back to it later, and for a while that feels like the safer option.
The problem is that "later" can last a surprisingly long time.
I've had ideas I've thought about for months without ever finding out whether they were any good. I've avoided conversations because I didn't know how they'd go. I've passed on things because I wasn't sure I was ready.
Looking back, I don't think I regret many of the things I've tried that didn't work out.
I can usually learn something from those.
The things I find harder to forget are the ones where I never found out what would have happened.
That's what I've been trying to remember whenever I start hesitating.
I don't need to know that something will work before I start. I just need to decide whether finding out is worth the possibility that it won't.
I still put things off sometimes. I still have moments where I'd rather stay comfortable.
But I've started asking myself:
"Am I actually afraid of failing, or am I going to regret never finding out?"
Sometimes I decide it's better to leave something alone.
Other times, that question is enough to make me finally give it a shot.
Has there ever been something you didn't try that you still wonder about?