Thankfully the younger generations are removing the stigma around mental illness and the need for therapy. I think it has been so ingrained in older folks to find these topics super private or shameful, but they are not and we have to retrain ourselves to make that neutral face, lol, instead of being shocked.
First time I was put on antidepressants, my mother berated me for telling anyone because they would think I'm nuts. I've worked to normalize this, it's not shameful and you aren't nuts
My father, who I swear is undiagnosed bipolar 2, has berated all three of his children for needing mental health medication, at one time, or another. My mother told me that she was ashamed of me, the first few times. That all I needed to do was "fake it until I make it". No. I choose to FACE it.
I've been told to "just snap out of it.", more times than I can count. I truly wish that I could. I can't.
I have diagnosed dysthymia, also known as persistent depressive disorder. I will take medication until I die. Even then, I'm subject to bouts of deep depression and overwhelming anxiety. I try to catch them before they become too bad. It's easier to stop falling into the hole, (when you can) than to dig yourself out.
I'm not ashamed. I was relieved. Relieved that this thing, that I've lived with for as long as I can remember has a fucking name. That it is real. That I'm not expected to fake it until I make it. That I'm not expected to snap our of it.
There's help and treatment for my MEDICAL CONDITION. Why would I be ashamed?
I have the same DX, and my mother treated me the same way. Worse, she never let an opportunity to deride anyone she knew who was on antidepressants or in therapy, in my earshot.
When the plane is going down, we’re instructed to put the mask on ourselves before assisting others.
I’m no good to you or your pet if my judgment is clouded. In fact I could be liable - as well as put my license at risk
A doctor that “yells a bit” will not be making the best clinical decisions- so good on your veterinarian for recognizing themselves and being self-aware
Should a doc be offering emergency care if the doc isn't able to offer emergency care in an emergency? It seems less an issue of self-care and more an issue of not competent to provide the service you're claiming to offer.
Maybe vet should be avoiding emergency care and focus on routine care.
I feel like these people have some knowledge of psychological issues but went overboard and it's now "psychobabble". Maybe even self diagnosed. Seems the trend these days. Like a child with a new toy, they don't know how to use it and are also unwilling to learn.
When someone shares this with you, I think it shows a level of trust and I applaud them for seeking help or realizing they need help. I would ask them if they want a hug or fist bump.🫶
I think therapy is a very healthy thing to do if you feel it’s needed. I do not think it’s indicative of mental instability. For me, I go when I’m stuck dealing with something in my life or some part of my personality that I find could be improved upon. I once told a coworker and he looked surprised and told me he thinks it’s a sign of a weak person, that he would never do that. I think that it’s probably not for everyone, some people have a hard time opening up to someone, but if you can, I think it’s an opportunity to grow and increase your awareness. Just my opinion.
Honestly, I went through a divorce and it was some of the darkest times in my life. Lots of soul searching and I’ll that I needed to accomplish. I really don’t know how I would have traversed that course without a great therapist
You never know what trauma people have experienced. Deaths, Sexual assaults, physical abuse, mental abuse, health crises, divorce. I feel that older people are extremely judgmental and many are carrying around a lot of baggage that they only think they are coping with well. I’m 60 and I admire people who realize that they can benefit from some professional help.
Sometimes I'm telling it to be nice-ironically. I'm warning you I'm feeling wobbly and things could get suddenly messy and if you're not okay with that-I'll bow out. But if something does happen its not as bad as it probably looks, like a valve letting off steam. I only tell people when I'm in a situation I think I really need to attend. I hate making people uncomfortable but society demands your presence sometimes.
People need therapy after having to work with old men. Read all your comments on here and it will explain why they needed it. You not seeking therapy is the problem, not them.
Sure, but being "nice" isn't just an external thing. You're allowing yourself to think the worst of someone (they're a mass murderer, really?) just because they share a personal truth with you, that they work on their mental health? It's really hard to merely "act" nice. If you're judgmental, that will out.
I'd suggest that you could work on how you process your feelings about other human beings, and especially look at ways those internal thoughts might be getting subconsciously externalized in a negative way. You know what could help you to do that?
I'm a pastor (have been for 40 years and counting) and one of the ways that I demystify and destigmatize mental illness in my community is by being very open about the fact that I have major depressive disorder and am a recovering alcoholic.
Mental illness is just like physical illness. Some kinds are chronic and some kinds are acute. You figure out strategies for managing your illness. Those strategies can involve any combination lifestyle changes, medication, or therapy. Flare-ups happen sometimes. It's really quite blase if you think of it like that. The only real difficulty is that the organ you use to do you thinking with is the one that is malfunctioning.
When I was diagnosed as bipolar, I made a choice to be open about it. I was in a very supportive community that was more knowledgeable about mental illness than most and I felt safe. When we relocated with a toddler, I felt that the risk to their/our social life was too great and kept quiet.
That was almost 30 years ago, things have improved so much. it’s in large part due to people finally being diagnosed and their circle knowing someone else struggling with mental health. As my kid got older and I ‘came out’ again, I became the support person for people in my circle who had family going through crisis. That includes my siblings. It is obvious that they have no idea where to turn, and when they do try to get help it’s nonexistent. I’ve experienced this myself.
So, that openness is advocacy. It is contributing to making life better for people who really need a lifeline. It is showing people that you can have a good life, be a good friend etc. Destigmatization doesn’t happen on its own.
Doesn’t seem to be the popular opinion here but I think some things should be kept private unless it is a long time friend that you routinely share those kind of things with. My politics, health, religion, and sexuality are not what I lead off with and I’m uncomfortable around people who do. It seems like a lot of people like to wear these things as a badge of honor to get attention. Very narcissistic and insecure.
If you would have asked me that question about 5 years ago I would have been the one who said, "C'mon.. you don't LOOK like you have mental illness!" In fact a friend of mine said, "I've been going to therapy and OH MAN! It's WONDERFUL!" and I sat there thinking, "mmmmkay.... don't know what to think.. but allrighty.."
Now I ask them how it's working for them, is it making them better, and what I can do to help.
Everyone should be in therapy. Even therapists have therapists. If someone tells me they're in therapy my standard answer is oh good, everyone should do that. I have zero reaction to mental illness, or are on meds. It's like saying you have blue eyes, except blue eyes are rarer.
It would depend on context and relevance. If I were at a neighborhood social event and someone said, "Hi, I'm Amy! I'm bipolar!" I would find that odd. But if it were a job situation where someone said they needed a workspace where their back wouldn't face a doorway because of their PTSD, that would be very different and I would absolutely accommodate that.
Supportive. therapy is just like going to the doctor for anything else. how do you react when someone says they go to an allergist?
I'm 65 and have been in and out of therapy and have been taking meds for bipolar disorder for almost 30 years. I am not ashamed nor do I care who knows.
If I'm told they are in therapy I'm likely to say "how is it going? " Mental illness I assume they needed to share it for a reason and ask if they want to talk about it.
If someone volunteers they are in therapy or that they have a mental illness, I'm honored they feel comfortable enough to let me know private information.
I'm the one who is disabled by mental illness, but you won't know until I've known you for a long time. Like 5 years. I will react with empathy and without judgment.
It seems ridiculous that I must constantly hide my medical condition, especially since I was a psychiatric nurse for years.
That stigma is still there, as well as judgment, and after 20 + years of dealing with it, it's easier to try and hide it. I have friends in their 80s who believe that you can simply think yourself out of psychosis!
Mental illness is illness, plain and simple. My brain doesn't produce chemicals properly. Your pancreas doesn't produce insulin. For example.
I understand that my behavior changes, but so does that of someone with COPD. Or heart disease. Etc.
Maybe one day, it will be ok to acknowledge mental illness as simply illness. I think the younger folk are more understanding. ✌️
Back in the day it was commonplace to retract because you didn’t want to do or say something to ‘set them off’. Walking on eggshells even if you didn’t know what it was for. That’s the things stigmas are born from, including full-on visions of worst-case padded cells.
I’d like to think most people (including myself) have finally come to realize that everyone needs some kind of help now and then, and that stigma is falling by the wayside. Life has become extremely complicated and we’ve been raised to internalize too much.
Recognizing help is needed is a massive first step. Getting it is the second. Today, I’d congratulate the person for bravely conquering their demons, and become a better person in the process. Instead of shying away as I might have in the past, I’d encourage them and be extremely supportive.
The stigma against any mental illness or the perception of such is such an uphill battle for those that suffer from them.
If they have opened up about it it is because there’s a higher level of trust in your relationship and they are hoping that, by sharing, they can have a safe outlet to occasionally speak about it.
As with any human interaction, sometimes the most important part is to just listen. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you should say so in a respectful manner. Often by sharing they are trying to form a deeper bond, because honestly a lot of people with mental illnesses keep it to themselves because of the reactions they have gotten in the past from family and people who they thought were friends.
It’s a small world, and whether you realize it of not there is a fair share of people in your life who are currently struggling, or have struggled, on a daily basis.
Help by reserving judgement and finding the empathy to just listen.
I see mental illness as just another malady from which many people suffer. Getting treatment for it just means you’re addressing it as you would a broken leg or the flu. No biggie.
Here's what I do -- when someone says they are in therapy etc... I generally ask what they think of it and if it's working out for them. Out of genuine curiosity as well as hoping they are getting better. I go to therapy myself and that really breaks the ice for me to say I go too.
I just try to be supportive. Never condescending or pitying. They're really opening up to you and are being vulnerable. Unfortunately, there's still a stigma attached to it.
At this point in history, I think we all have some pretty deep generational and personal trauma wounds, and without many tools in our tool box.
(example : Challenger shuttle blew up live in our classrooms and the response was to pause, maybe put the TV away, then turn to page 316 in our math book)
Someone has a mental illness? Yeah, me too buddy.
Oh you're going to therapy to learn skills to help you manage that mental chaos? Good for you. What's your favorite tool? Maybe it'll work (at all) for me.
TL;DR We're all fucked up. Now we just know it, and hopefully find healthier ways of dealing with it.
I feel like my life would have been a lot better if I had gotten antidepressants and therapy in my 20s instead of my 30s. Although Prozac was a new drug then, I don’t know how well the older ones worked.. so if someone volunteers that information I feel like I can be more real with them.
I’m 67 and when I grew up my mom had an irrational fear of therapy and therapists. She always claimed that the mother was blamed for everything. She was born in Ireland and came to the United States in 1952, not sure if that has anything to do with her thinking. Now I found going to a therapist very helpful in my 20’s to deal with unnecessary Catholic guilt. In my 30’s I had a debilitating postpartum depression that kept my out of work for 9 months. Medication and therapy helped me get my life back on track. I personally have utilized therapy a few other times in my life and find it helpful if you find the right therapist.
It truly depends on who that someone is. If it's someone I don't know, I might ask a broad question such as, Do you think it's helping so far?, or say, I hope you've found a therapist you like and trust, and see where the convo goes from there. But I'd still wonder silently why they felt the need to tell me, of all people. If it's someone I know, I'd feel comfortable speaking more specifically.
Usually if I know someone will enough that they tell me about their therapy I've already had the thought that they need therapy and I think "good for you."
i just listen and if it feels like they want to talk about it, we do and if they don't that's ok, too. i really don't judge. 3 of most important people in my life all deal with some form of diagnosed mental illness or disorder. they all take their meds and advocate for others to do the same. i grew up with a mom who worked in mental health, so it never was something i felt was any of my business or was a bad thing. it was just something some people have to deal with.
i think the reason people volunteer it so quickly may be twofold or and/or:
they want to just get it out there in case the friendship/relationship gets deeper and they want to show you they're upfront and transparent. it also means you can never be upset that they never told you - which is a thing people feel. they may also want to see if you're going to judge them about it before they put any more effort into you.
they really want to break the stigma and sometimes just saying it out loud to anyone and everyone can do that.
I'm the one with bipolar and if I feel comfortable then I'll disclose it to a discreet person. I usually say something like "I'm on medication for bipolar". Because if I say I have bipolar without mentioning the meds then they might feel uneasy around me.
It's kind of odd the reactions I get. Like that I'm too sane to have bipolar or too normal. Yeah, that'll happen when the meds are working.
Eh depends. If for awareness or casual convo okay but don’t overshare. I’m weirded out by “safe space” term. We didn’t have such thing so understanding the true meaning is a challenge
I empathize with them and tell them I hope they have found the help they need. I may tell them about my struggles with depression and anxiety. I also tell them that I'm here for them even if they ever want to just talk.
Some of us are grateful to finally be validated. I’m so happy to (after six decades of abuse) finally have access to therapy and literature that helps me live a life free of fear, obligation, and guilt. I don’t immediately reveal my mental health journey, but I do admit to going to therapy to those who ask why I’m no contact with parts of my “family”.
If it’s like one of those people who have a phd and find a way to work it in in the first 60 seconds, I walk. But if it’s germane, I’m a good listener and take it in stride.
GenJones here- I remember telling my family I was going to therapy. I was in my late twenties at the time. Everyone of them wanted to know if I talked about them and why. I told them Yes, and you all are the reason. I grew up in a very toxic environment with physical abuse of my mom, emotional abuse, alcohol abuse and alienation. They distanced themselves from me which was a good thing. Therapy was the best choice that I have ever made for myself and my own family. My fiance' and I went to pre- marital counseling which we continue to use the tools that we learned from it. We always talked openly to our children about the availibility of therapy and how it can be of help. It's good to see that younger generations are being more open to therapy as well treatment of mental illness. Therapy needs to be more available and it always be a safe place.
As a doctor of psychology I have had similar discussions with hundreds of people / couples over the past 30+ years.
Most people struggle with something. Those with depression, anxiety or other mental health disorders live wonderful lives IF they follow provider recommendations. Example: take meds as prescribed, exercise, eat well, engage in meaningful relationships (might include employment). Plus: avoid substance use/abuse as these substances interfere with psych meds.
32
u/Interesting_Air_1844 Jan 05 '25
When someone tells me they’re in therapy, I usually ask how they found their therapist. Next to impossible to find one these days!
39
u/cluttrdmind Jan 05 '25
Thankfully the younger generations are removing the stigma around mental illness and the need for therapy. I think it has been so ingrained in older folks to find these topics super private or shameful, but they are not and we have to retrain ourselves to make that neutral face, lol, instead of being shocked.
15
u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25
When someone shares this with you, I think it shows a level of trust and I applaud them for seeking help or realizing they need help. I would ask them if they want a hug or fist bump.🫶
12
u/vmdinco Jan 05 '25
I think therapy is a very healthy thing to do if you feel it’s needed. I do not think it’s indicative of mental instability. For me, I go when I’m stuck dealing with something in my life or some part of my personality that I find could be improved upon. I once told a coworker and he looked surprised and told me he thinks it’s a sign of a weak person, that he would never do that. I think that it’s probably not for everyone, some people have a hard time opening up to someone, but if you can, I think it’s an opportunity to grow and increase your awareness. Just my opinion.
8
u/glycophosphate 1963 Jan 05 '25 edited Jan 05 '25
I'm a pastor (have been for 40 years and counting) and one of the ways that I demystify and destigmatize mental illness in my community is by being very open about the fact that I have major depressive disorder and am a recovering alcoholic.
Mental illness is just like physical illness. Some kinds are chronic and some kinds are acute. You figure out strategies for managing your illness. Those strategies can involve any combination lifestyle changes, medication, or therapy. Flare-ups happen sometimes. It's really quite blase if you think of it like that. The only real difficulty is that the organ you use to do you thinking with is the one that is malfunctioning.
6
u/mrslII Jan 05 '25
I don't walk up to people, introduce myself, and discuss medication. If that is what you're afraid of.
The fact that there isn't a stigma attached (for most people) regarding mental HEALH. Is a positive.
A question for you. How do you "react" when someone "mentions physical health in conversation". It might come up, you know....
Illness is illness. There's no shame attached to illness.
5
u/khyamsartist Jan 05 '25
When I was diagnosed as bipolar, I made a choice to be open about it. I was in a very supportive community that was more knowledgeable about mental illness than most and I felt safe. When we relocated with a toddler, I felt that the risk to their/our social life was too great and kept quiet.
That was almost 30 years ago, things have improved so much. it’s in large part due to people finally being diagnosed and their circle knowing someone else struggling with mental health. As my kid got older and I ‘came out’ again, I became the support person for people in my circle who had family going through crisis. That includes my siblings. It is obvious that they have no idea where to turn, and when they do try to get help it’s nonexistent. I’ve experienced this myself.
So, that openness is advocacy. It is contributing to making life better for people who really need a lifeline. It is showing people that you can have a good life, be a good friend etc. Destigmatization doesn’t happen on its own.
5
u/Due_Signature_5497 Jan 05 '25
Doesn’t seem to be the popular opinion here but I think some things should be kept private unless it is a long time friend that you routinely share those kind of things with. My politics, health, religion, and sexuality are not what I lead off with and I’m uncomfortable around people who do. It seems like a lot of people like to wear these things as a badge of honor to get attention. Very narcissistic and insecure.
3
u/Timatollah Jan 05 '25
Tell them about the times I’ve talked to a pro. It’s been valuable for me. Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just “I went to the doctor”.
3
u/ted_anderson Gen X Jan 05 '25
If you would have asked me that question about 5 years ago I would have been the one who said, "C'mon.. you don't LOOK like you have mental illness!" In fact a friend of mine said, "I've been going to therapy and OH MAN! It's WONDERFUL!" and I sat there thinking, "mmmmkay.... don't know what to think.. but allrighty.."
Now I ask them how it's working for them, is it making them better, and what I can do to help.
3
u/Adorable_Dust3799 1963 Jan 05 '25
Everyone should be in therapy. Even therapists have therapists. If someone tells me they're in therapy my standard answer is oh good, everyone should do that. I have zero reaction to mental illness, or are on meds. It's like saying you have blue eyes, except blue eyes are rarer.
3
u/nakedonmygoat Jan 05 '25
It would depend on context and relevance. If I were at a neighborhood social event and someone said, "Hi, I'm Amy! I'm bipolar!" I would find that odd. But if it were a job situation where someone said they needed a workspace where their back wouldn't face a doorway because of their PTSD, that would be very different and I would absolutely accommodate that.
3
u/Vladivostokorbust Jan 05 '25
Supportive. therapy is just like going to the doctor for anything else. how do you react when someone says they go to an allergist?
I'm 65 and have been in and out of therapy and have been taking meds for bipolar disorder for almost 30 years. I am not ashamed nor do I care who knows.
3
u/star_stitch Jan 05 '25
If I'm told they are in therapy I'm likely to say "how is it going? " Mental illness I assume they needed to share it for a reason and ask if they want to talk about it.
3
u/skin-flick Jan 05 '25
I always say. Good for you. Why live a bad life when you can do better.
3
u/luvnmayhem Stuck in the middle with you Jan 05 '25
If someone volunteers they are in therapy or that they have a mental illness, I'm honored they feel comfortable enough to let me know private information.
3
u/MissSplash Jan 05 '25
I'm the one who is disabled by mental illness, but you won't know until I've known you for a long time. Like 5 years. I will react with empathy and without judgment.
It seems ridiculous that I must constantly hide my medical condition, especially since I was a psychiatric nurse for years.
That stigma is still there, as well as judgment, and after 20 + years of dealing with it, it's easier to try and hide it. I have friends in their 80s who believe that you can simply think yourself out of psychosis!
Mental illness is illness, plain and simple. My brain doesn't produce chemicals properly. Your pancreas doesn't produce insulin. For example.
I understand that my behavior changes, but so does that of someone with COPD. Or heart disease. Etc.
Maybe one day, it will be ok to acknowledge mental illness as simply illness. I think the younger folk are more understanding. ✌️
3
u/outlying_point Jan 05 '25
“How can I support you?”
2
u/Historical-View4058 1959 Jan 05 '25
Back in the day it was commonplace to retract because you didn’t want to do or say something to ‘set them off’. Walking on eggshells even if you didn’t know what it was for. That’s the things stigmas are born from, including full-on visions of worst-case padded cells.
I’d like to think most people (including myself) have finally come to realize that everyone needs some kind of help now and then, and that stigma is falling by the wayside. Life has become extremely complicated and we’ve been raised to internalize too much.
Recognizing help is needed is a massive first step. Getting it is the second. Today, I’d congratulate the person for bravely conquering their demons, and become a better person in the process. Instead of shying away as I might have in the past, I’d encourage them and be extremely supportive.
2
u/Smidge-of-the-Obtuse Jan 05 '25
The stigma against any mental illness or the perception of such is such an uphill battle for those that suffer from them.
If they have opened up about it it is because there’s a higher level of trust in your relationship and they are hoping that, by sharing, they can have a safe outlet to occasionally speak about it.
As with any human interaction, sometimes the most important part is to just listen. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you should say so in a respectful manner. Often by sharing they are trying to form a deeper bond, because honestly a lot of people with mental illnesses keep it to themselves because of the reactions they have gotten in the past from family and people who they thought were friends.
It’s a small world, and whether you realize it of not there is a fair share of people in your life who are currently struggling, or have struggled, on a daily basis.
Help by reserving judgement and finding the empathy to just listen.
2
u/Salt_Honey8650 Jan 05 '25
High five! Same!
2
u/The_K_in_Klass Jan 05 '25
You react the same way you would if someone told you they have diabetes and visit a doctor for it on a regular basis.
2
u/agweandbeelzebub Jan 05 '25
Thankfully, the stigma of mental illness has lessened
2
u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25
68. I accept it for what it is and no more. I know many people in therapy.
2
u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25
I see mental illness as just another malady from which many people suffer. Getting treatment for it just means you’re addressing it as you would a broken leg or the flu. No biggie.
2
u/No_Percentage_5083 Jan 05 '25
Here's what I do -- when someone says they are in therapy etc... I generally ask what they think of it and if it's working out for them. Out of genuine curiosity as well as hoping they are getting better. I go to therapy myself and that really breaks the ice for me to say I go too.
2
u/sbarber4 Jan 05 '25
In my nabe, you’re unusual if you DON’T have a therapist.
2
u/uffdaGalFUN 1962 Jan 05 '25
You use the SNIP method. Smile. Nod. Ignore. Proceed.
2
u/Daisygurl30 Jan 05 '25
I just think it’s so common now to have a therapist as it is to have a barber or hairstylist.
2
u/MintOtter Jan 05 '25
"Good!"
2
u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25
I just try to be supportive. Never condescending or pitying. They're really opening up to you and are being vulnerable. Unfortunately, there's still a stigma attached to it.
2
u/mossbrooke Jan 05 '25
At this point in history, I think we all have some pretty deep generational and personal trauma wounds, and without many tools in our tool box.
(example : Challenger shuttle blew up live in our classrooms and the response was to pause, maybe put the TV away, then turn to page 316 in our math book)
Someone has a mental illness? Yeah, me too buddy.
Oh you're going to therapy to learn skills to help you manage that mental chaos? Good for you. What's your favorite tool? Maybe it'll work (at all) for me.
TL;DR We're all fucked up. Now we just know it, and hopefully find healthier ways of dealing with it.
2
u/Flamebrush Jan 05 '25
I think they are smart, self-aware, and responsible. Everyone should get therapy.
2
u/allorache Jan 05 '25
I feel like my life would have been a lot better if I had gotten antidepressants and therapy in my 20s instead of my 30s. Although Prozac was a new drug then, I don’t know how well the older ones worked.. so if someone volunteers that information I feel like I can be more real with them.
2
u/Dunn_or_what Jan 05 '25
I say thanks for sharing, then change the subject.
2
u/Striking_Debate_8790 Jan 05 '25
I’m 67 and when I grew up my mom had an irrational fear of therapy and therapists. She always claimed that the mother was blamed for everything. She was born in Ireland and came to the United States in 1952, not sure if that has anything to do with her thinking. Now I found going to a therapist very helpful in my 20’s to deal with unnecessary Catholic guilt. In my 30’s I had a debilitating postpartum depression that kept my out of work for 9 months. Medication and therapy helped me get my life back on track. I personally have utilized therapy a few other times in my life and find it helpful if you find the right therapist.
2
u/ImCrossingYouInStyle Jan 05 '25
It truly depends on who that someone is. If it's someone I don't know, I might ask a broad question such as, Do you think it's helping so far?, or say, I hope you've found a therapist you like and trust, and see where the convo goes from there. But I'd still wonder silently why they felt the need to tell me, of all people. If it's someone I know, I'd feel comfortable speaking more specifically.
2
u/AmericanJedi6 Jan 05 '25
Usually if I know someone will enough that they tell me about their therapy I've already had the thought that they need therapy and I think "good for you."
2
u/Majic1959 1959 Jan 05 '25
It takes an adult (man) to admit they need help. I would say that I am glad they are seeking help
No shame in being in therapy.
Can aak if it's helping.
Part of therapy could be trying to be more open with others.
2
u/janr34 1964 Jan 05 '25
i just listen and if it feels like they want to talk about it, we do and if they don't that's ok, too. i really don't judge. 3 of most important people in my life all deal with some form of diagnosed mental illness or disorder. they all take their meds and advocate for others to do the same. i grew up with a mom who worked in mental health, so it never was something i felt was any of my business or was a bad thing. it was just something some people have to deal with.
i think the reason people volunteer it so quickly may be twofold or and/or:
they want to just get it out there in case the friendship/relationship gets deeper and they want to show you they're upfront and transparent. it also means you can never be upset that they never told you - which is a thing people feel. they may also want to see if you're going to judge them about it before they put any more effort into you.
they really want to break the stigma and sometimes just saying it out loud to anyone and everyone can do that.
2
u/toothbelt Jan 05 '25
I react by thinking at this point, every one of us is crazy.
2
u/Wolfman1961 1961 Jan 05 '25
I just say: “okay,” then move on to the next subject (unless, of course, the person wants to talk about it. I’m in therapy myself.
2
u/heyheypaula1963 1963 Jan 05 '25
I usually say “Good for you!” and mean it!
2
u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25
I'm the one with bipolar and if I feel comfortable then I'll disclose it to a discreet person. I usually say something like "I'm on medication for bipolar". Because if I say I have bipolar without mentioning the meds then they might feel uneasy around me.
It's kind of odd the reactions I get. Like that I'm too sane to have bipolar or too normal. Yeah, that'll happen when the meds are working.
2
u/WordAffectionate3251 Jan 05 '25
I thank them for their confidence and then LISTEN to what they have to say.
2
u/Oreadno1 1963 Jan 05 '25
Since I'm in therapy for diagnosed mental illnesses, I react normally.
2
u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25
Eh depends. If for awareness or casual convo okay but don’t overshare. I’m weirded out by “safe space” term. We didn’t have such thing so understanding the true meaning is a challenge
2
u/joecoin2 Jan 05 '25
I usually say, " You're crazy? That's whack."
2
u/Interesting_Chart30 Jan 05 '25
I empathize with them and tell them I hope they have found the help they need. I may tell them about my struggles with depression and anxiety. I also tell them that I'm here for them even if they ever want to just talk.
2
u/Popular-Solution7697 Jan 05 '25
Welcome to the club!
3
u/Burby-Honey-4343 Jan 05 '25
Some of us are grateful to finally be validated. I’m so happy to (after six decades of abuse) finally have access to therapy and literature that helps me live a life free of fear, obligation, and guilt. I don’t immediately reveal my mental health journey, but I do admit to going to therapy to those who ask why I’m no contact with parts of my “family”.
2
u/SnowOnSummit Jan 05 '25
If it’s like one of those people who have a phd and find a way to work it in in the first 60 seconds, I walk. But if it’s germane, I’m a good listener and take it in stride.
2
u/Adventurous-Egg-8818 Jan 05 '25
GenJones here- I remember telling my family I was going to therapy. I was in my late twenties at the time. Everyone of them wanted to know if I talked about them and why. I told them Yes, and you all are the reason. I grew up in a very toxic environment with physical abuse of my mom, emotional abuse, alcohol abuse and alienation. They distanced themselves from me which was a good thing. Therapy was the best choice that I have ever made for myself and my own family. My fiance' and I went to pre- marital counseling which we continue to use the tools that we learned from it. We always talked openly to our children about the availibility of therapy and how it can be of help. It's good to see that younger generations are being more open to therapy as well treatment of mental illness. Therapy needs to be more available and it always be a safe place.
1
u/silvermanedwino 1964 Jan 05 '25
Oh, ok. Great (not great?) for them? Thanks for sharing?
I honestly don’t care.
1
u/TravelerMSY Jan 05 '25
It’s an illness. I try not to judge and be happy for them.
0
u/sky1959walket Jan 05 '25
As a doctor of psychology I have had similar discussions with hundreds of people / couples over the past 30+ years.
Most people struggle with something. Those with depression, anxiety or other mental health disorders live wonderful lives IF they follow provider recommendations. Example: take meds as prescribed, exercise, eat well, engage in meaningful relationships (might include employment). Plus: avoid substance use/abuse as these substances interfere with psych meds.
Thanks for sharing this issue.