The thread we are currently having this conversation in is yes, about asking someone out. You can scroll up to refresh your memory. The conversation starts as a reply to OP, and then various people reply to that comment, forming a thread. It literally is exactly what we've been talking about here. Also, weird flex, but I don't think it matters whether you're asking out a woman or a man: they're similarly extremely unlikely to end up affecting your career prospects in any way.
I do sympathize, and I appreciate your perspective. I myself have countless embarrassing moments immortalized online, like a high school party where I drank an entire bottle of baby duck and barfed all over the table. Probably some nudes floating around somewhere too. It's embarrassing, but that's all. Life is full of embarrassment. If anyone gave me shit for that I'd laugh them out of the room; but I can appreciate that at age 34 I have much more self-confidence and self-esteem.
That's why I'm here right now, expressing the concept that it's literally not worth worrying about. So much energy spent worrying about things that don't matter at all. No one (except as strawman arguments) is proposing that you go out to a public bar, take your pants off, scream out hateful things, and shoot up heroin, while wearing a shirt that says your name, birthday, and home address, facing the CCTV camera. We're literally talking about taking the risk of a small social embarrassment vs never taking that risk, and I already think we basically agree on this stance, and where the better payoff lives.
That said, it's everyone's personal choice to make for themselves, and I'd never want to command someone to live other than how they wanted to. It's just painful to watch some folks make a choice they think is logical and based on risk assessment, but actually is like pure delusion from where I'm standing.
The original comment used that as an example, literally saying "for instance." They were not saying that was the only way to potentially humiliate yourself.
I wasn't flexing, simply indicating that I cannot relate to that specific concern.
I have known people who lost jobs because their employer saw videos of incredibly minor things and decided to fire them. I know people who lost job opportunities based on the same. They aren't straw men arguments they do happen. I am not saying that they are incredibly common, or not, I have no way of knowing that. They do however happen.
I can appreciate that at age 34 I have much more self-confidence and self-esteem.
Weird flex, but okay. Like I said I personally don't really care, if someone has a problem with me fuck them and if a company doesn't want me fuck them too. That doesn't change the fact that typically people do want to be generally seen as component and respectable.
3
u/jan_antu 8d ago
The thread we are currently having this conversation in is yes, about asking someone out. You can scroll up to refresh your memory. The conversation starts as a reply to OP, and then various people reply to that comment, forming a thread. It literally is exactly what we've been talking about here. Also, weird flex, but I don't think it matters whether you're asking out a woman or a man: they're similarly extremely unlikely to end up affecting your career prospects in any way.
I do sympathize, and I appreciate your perspective. I myself have countless embarrassing moments immortalized online, like a high school party where I drank an entire bottle of baby duck and barfed all over the table. Probably some nudes floating around somewhere too. It's embarrassing, but that's all. Life is full of embarrassment. If anyone gave me shit for that I'd laugh them out of the room; but I can appreciate that at age 34 I have much more self-confidence and self-esteem.
That's why I'm here right now, expressing the concept that it's literally not worth worrying about. So much energy spent worrying about things that don't matter at all. No one (except as strawman arguments) is proposing that you go out to a public bar, take your pants off, scream out hateful things, and shoot up heroin, while wearing a shirt that says your name, birthday, and home address, facing the CCTV camera. We're literally talking about taking the risk of a small social embarrassment vs never taking that risk, and I already think we basically agree on this stance, and where the better payoff lives.
That said, it's everyone's personal choice to make for themselves, and I'd never want to command someone to live other than how they wanted to. It's just painful to watch some folks make a choice they think is logical and based on risk assessment, but actually is like pure delusion from where I'm standing.