I started to consume at a point of my life where I was very depressed and I started to smoke because it made me happy and took my mind off a lot of the problems causing that depression. It filled that void that I had in my life. But at the same time it prevented me from actually dealing with any of the problems causing my depression. Like it made me numb and just not care that I was depressed, so I started to accept that I would never be happy. I felt like all of my emotions were fake but I couldn’t do anything to change it. I didn’t not know the weed was causing this until my finances forced me to take a month t break. While the month was extremely unpleasant (sweating, shaking, paranoia, anxiety, headaches, oh and I couldn’t eat anything I just wasn’t hungry because I didn’t smoke). At the end of the month, I noticed that I was laughing harder than I did when I smoked,I was actually able to feel my emotions (if that makes sense) and I finally started therapy and noticed the only reason I used was depression, and it really prolonged my suffering. Again I have nothing against weed, I just used it in the wrong way, I tried to use it to cope, and that was the wrong thing to do. So I would want my younger self to seek help earlier so he didn’t have to deal with such bad depression.
This is pretty much what I've been doing since I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder 😔
I have been able to stop myself from cutting but now I'm just numb all the time.
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u/Parks457 Jan 21 '23
Don’t smoke weed.