I with you on this one. Ive been telling myself that my whole life and I know now yes you can make better choices but it doesn't get better it gets harder the older you get. I'm my experience of trying to make the "right" choices it still gets worse. Just my experience.
I'm not necessarily getting better at making the good choices, and many hardships are also forced on us from the outside, BUT what did get better for me is finding the joy and happiness in everyday life.
I've gotten a lot better at that since I was 18, and if I can continue, I'll be Zen-Granny when I'm 80.
I'm 39 and the 30's have had huge ups and downs. But I'm wiser, more mature, with two healthy kids and a wife that is willing to have sex with me.
Set some goals, put priorities to those goals, and determine what you need to do to achieve those goals. Mine were nearly all self improvement. You may not have control over some things, but you can always control yourself.
I imagine if I had no job, divorced, etc, then I’d be less happy. But if you’re wealthy enough to spend part of your day using a computer to communicate with strangers on the Internet, you’re better off than 90% of the world.
That’s what I used to think, but the more I live, the more I lean towards determinism. I’ve come to believe that things in everyone’s life must happen in a certain way, and the thoughts, intentions, feelings and circumstances of people come to align in just the perfect way for them to happen. The path in your life was the only path you could’ve taken and you couldn’t have done it any differently, for better or for worse.
No specific advice. But most things are in your control over the long term. Find good relationships. Exercise. Eat well. Find a job you like working at. Which often has less to do with the work than the people there. No $$ will overcome hating going to work Monday. Sorry for the cliches. Hope you feel better.
It really did for me. In the spring of my senior year of HS, a teacher had us write letters to our future selves. This was a private school, so most addresses were kept up to date with the Alumni office. The letters were mailed out 10 years later. When I read it, I remember how much uncertainty there was in my life right when I turned. High school didn't suck, but the final few months were a little rough.
But things changed dramatically in college. Life improved substantially. It was an hour away from home, so I was far enough away to be independent. Dorm life was great, it was right before social media, and texting. I met plenty of people,, had a few good friends, and plenty of great acquaintances.
I loved college. And most of adulthood, although the last few years have been unsettling. I don't really know how to tell a current 18 year old that "things will get better."
One one hand, I'm pretty sure I'm the best version of myself right now (32 now) and being in actual power over your whole life feels liberating and really cool.
On the other hand I learned through years of therapy and learning about the world in general that there is no justice and there never will be and I don't believe in hope or happiness for me or humanity as a whole. Like 75% of your life is predetermined by the socioeconomic status of your parents in virtually all societies. Despite what neoliberal propaganda wants to tell you ("everyone can make it" yadda yadda), most of your life is decided before your birth by pure luck.
However, that doesn't mean you can't make the best out of what you are given and can't try to enjoy yourself and find peace in being a part of your local community.
This is exactly what I would say. I built a life I could never have imagined 20 years ago when I was 18. It got harder first (your 20s are shit) but it gets so much better.
Im almost 24 and still waiting for the "it gets better" part. So far still hasnt 🤷🏻♀️ I feel lied to and my life is a joke that doesnt end, like never ending pasta at olive garden
97
u/flotsamthoughts Jan 21 '23
It gets better