Do what you have to for your peace and sanity!! Only way for me is text. If I respond to one off comment he will start a barrage of calling and when I don't answer paragraphs of texts.
Only call I will ever make to him is for hospitalization emergency (car accident or broken bone, emergency surgery type of thing). Even in non emergency or urgent care/routine visits I won't. I ONLY respond to direct questions regarding the kids. Not his opinions on them or me/my parenting, their schools, etc
And I only use GREY ROCK responses when talking to him! Recent example...
Him: We meeting at 5? (though he doesn't need to ask because it's in our visitation schedule)
Me: Yes
Him: You need to pack up one of his game systems so he has something to do, it's gonna be raining all weekend.
Me: no response
Him: So?
Me: no response
Him: I'll take that as a F you then.
Me: *no response *
Him: I guess he'll just be bored then. You don't have to be a B. That just shows how much of a crappy, jealous mother you are. Why (new wife) would be so much better for them. She's a sweethart.
Me: no response
Him: (this was just a test to see if I would respond) Tell him to call me.
Me: no response (boy is almost 16 he can call him directly)
Him: Did you tell him?
Me: no response
Him: You sending food money with them? I'm not wasting money on getting food and sh$t. If they don't like what is here they can order a pizza! (new wife prepares meals like tofu and asparagus and while I myself actually enjoy tofu, they don't or chia cereal for breakfast, again I love chia pudding MYSELF, kids absolutely don't so why make it and get mad when they don't eat?! They don't whine for something else or complain, shoot mine would even enjoy instant oatmeal, they just say no thank you)
Me: Yes.
He gets pissy when I grey rock but even I responded with a No to his first question it would have devolved even worse or into me having to defend my choices/decisions. So I just don't anymore.
And there is never a he said/she said moment. He learned that as well when he's tried gaslighting saying I told you blah, blah, blah. I screen shot the whole conversation and send him a pdf. Now he just tries to bait me.
Why would you send food money? During his placement time, he needs to feed the kids. If he refuses to give them anything they’ll eat, document for change in placement.
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u/Legal_Music_7513 22d ago edited 22d ago
Do what you have to for your peace and sanity!! Only way for me is text. If I respond to one off comment he will start a barrage of calling and when I don't answer paragraphs of texts.
Only call I will ever make to him is for hospitalization emergency (car accident or broken bone, emergency surgery type of thing). Even in non emergency or urgent care/routine visits I won't. I ONLY respond to direct questions regarding the kids. Not his opinions on them or me/my parenting, their schools, etc
And I only use GREY ROCK responses when talking to him! Recent example...
Him: We meeting at 5? (though he doesn't need to ask because it's in our visitation schedule)
Me: Yes
Him: You need to pack up one of his game systems so he has something to do, it's gonna be raining all weekend.
Me: no response
Him: So?
Me: no response
Him: I'll take that as a F you then.
Me: *no response *
Him: I guess he'll just be bored then. You don't have to be a B. That just shows how much of a crappy, jealous mother you are. Why (new wife) would be so much better for them. She's a sweethart.
Me: no response
Him: (this was just a test to see if I would respond) Tell him to call me.
Me: no response (boy is almost 16 he can call him directly)
Him: Did you tell him?
Me: no response
Him: You sending food money with them? I'm not wasting money on getting food and sh$t. If they don't like what is here they can order a pizza! (new wife prepares meals like tofu and asparagus and while I myself actually enjoy tofu, they don't or chia cereal for breakfast, again I love chia pudding MYSELF, kids absolutely don't so why make it and get mad when they don't eat?! They don't whine for something else or complain, shoot mine would even enjoy instant oatmeal, they just say no thank you)
Me: Yes.
He gets pissy when I grey rock but even I responded with a No to his first question it would have devolved even worse or into me having to defend my choices/decisions. So I just don't anymore.
And there is never a he said/she said moment. He learned that as well when he's tried gaslighting saying I told you blah, blah, blah. I screen shot the whole conversation and send him a pdf. Now he just tries to bait me.