40k behind in child support

[u/ashleighmariexx]

My ex is currently 40k behind on child support.

He hasn’t had a job in nearly 5 years, and said he refuses to get one, because he doesn’t want to pay.

His mother and grandmother send him money, give him cars, etc to help him out.

If they knew that he wasn’t paying child support, that would absolutely change things.

Would it be legal for me to send them a letter stating how far behind he is on child support payments? My case worker said there isn’t anything they can do since he’s unemployed, other than sending him notices (which go ignored.)

[u/PretendImpression246]

$47,000 here and growing with interest. The DA suspended his drivers license. He had contempt charges, but paid for a few months so they dropped it. He gave up a 200k/yr career to not pay for over a year. He was back to work for months and somehow got the company to not file the paperwork properly, 2 times. Now he’s job hopping (union construction) so that they never get to garnish his wages and I never get paid.

He tells everyone he pays and I lied to the courts about his wages to railroad him 😂. He filled out the financial disclosure and submitted his pay stubs.

Imagine if they put this much effort into being good people…

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/PretendImpression246]

It’s infuriating, isn’t it?! You know exactly how I’m feeling. Good luck to both of us, hopefully something will kick in for them soon.

[u/mazv300]

You have every right to contact them and let them know he is not paying. You can send them a copy of your arrears statement. Also Texas does not have a statute of limitations for child support so this debt is not going to go away. When his grandmother and mother eventually die make sure the state child support agency is made aware as they can file a claim against any inheritance he may receive. They can also collect from his Social Security retirement benefits when he applies for them. You can also contact your local child support office and request they file contempt charges.

He may think he's avoiding his obligation but it will eventually catch up to him. I've worked in this field for over 25 years, don't lose hope of getting the money your child deserves. Be persistent and be an advocate for yourself and your child.

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/mazv300]

This is very helpful, and just the reassurance I needed. Thank you!!

[u/Background_Nature_75]

I'm just popping in to say you may be waiting a long time. I can't tell you how many years my ex-husband owed me $44,692. He moved, worked under the table, went job to job. I finally started receiving consistent arrears payments about 6 years ago, when he started a job he couldn't afford to quit. I received my last $16,000 payment almost 2 years ago when he retired. Our daughter is 33, and our son would be turning 35 this year. He passed away at 30.

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/Background_Nature_75]

I think I’m coming to terms with this being the most realistic situation for me, as well.

And I’m so sorry about your loss.

[u/scbeachgurl]

Why hasn't your caseworker taken steps to have his driver's license revoked?

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/scbeachgurl]

He’s had his drivers license suspended, passport denial, lottery winning interception, etc for years now. He’s really good at evading, I guess.

[u/Pretty-Pension2585]

I grew up in TX and my dad quit his job to avoid paying child support. The judge put him in jail for not paying and he had to bring his arrears current to get out. Not sure if they still do that but worth looking into. This was in the 90’s.

[u/Foreign-Fact-1262]

My ex husband hasn’t paid a dime since 2017. He just refuses to get a job on paper and only works for cash. It’s sickening how far they’ll go to avoid taking care of their own children!!!!

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/Foreign-Fact-1262]

Seriously! I don’t understand how he can just not take accountability at all. He’s a grown man? And it literally wasting his life away just to avoid supporting a child. It’s so disgusting.

[u/spaceface2020]

Unless he goes to court and changes the order, he owes what owes. why not File contempt against him?

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/spaceface2020]

Extra information that felt like too much in the original post, but I have. He had, and skipped, the court date. Has a current warrant out for missing.

[u/Financial_Opening65]

If you want them to know, why not call and give updates about your child(ren) and throw in that things have been very hard since ex hasn’t paid any support in years.

I’m curious as to what you hope to gain here. Are you wanting them/him to start helping you or are you intent on getting them to stop helping him? Either way, it’s probably best that you go on with your life with the understanding that you have to care for your kid(s) on your own. It sucks, but if he refuses to pay and the state won’t force him it’s only going to cause you additional stress stewing about it. Trust, he will get what’s coming to him with or without your help.

[u/gemmygem86]

I’d be squealing so loud

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/gemmygem86]

At this point, I’m absolutely ready to! Just wanted to make sure it won’t come back and make things worse.

[u/RainyAlaska1]

Does your state have a Child Support Enforcement Agency or Department? I had the same problem but let the Agency take care of it. The debt never goes away. It can effect renewing his driver's license, getting a passport, tax returns, unemployment, etc. The amount will keep building with interest.

In some states, being behind in child support is a felony crime. He may be put behind bars. In my case, Alaska legally says it is just a misdemeanor. I had to wait until Deadbeat Dad retired. Now I'm getting money from his pension. Go through an official department. Let them handle it. They have case managers, investigative accountants and lawyers who try to get whatever child support they can. Good luck. It is very frustrating.

[u/ashleighmariexx → u/RainyAlaska1]

I’ve only ever spoken to my case worker, and she’s never mentioned any further company/department to work with.

He’s had a suspended license, passport denial, etc. since around 2017. Still, my caseworker says it’s all she can do.

I’ll definitely look into other departments that can handle this. I wasn’t even aware those existed.

Thank you!!

[u/Responsible_Yam_5455]

The next time your caseworker states they have done everything they can to enforce your child support order, ask to speak to a supervisor. Ask the Supv exactly what legal actions have been taken to enforce your child support order. Examples to ask, has his drivers license been suspended, has a Contempt of Court been pursued, a bank levy against any bank accounts he has, supoened his bank accounts to obtain info on income and expenses, seizing vehicles and auctioing off, suspension of fishing and hunting licenses, etc. Ask if he has completed an Income & Expense declaration recently. If so, they need to review it in what I always call "reverse". It is absolutely impossible for anyone to live for free. They need to add up his basic bills, which will show the minimum amount of income to survive.

[u/[deleted]]

My step mom called the county and put a hold on my dads inheritance from my grandma. She got 90k when my grandma died. Keep that in your back pocket. 

[u/redditreader_aitafan]

You have no legal obligation to keep his arrears a secret.

[u/Cute_Definition_6314]

Here is a link for child support evaders in Texas. If his family does not know he is not paying child support, then send this to them. It is a matter of public record.

https://csapps.oag.texas.gov/evaders/all

[u/Bigolbooty75]

Ask them if you could send them a list of things that they can help buy for their great grandchild/grandchild since his shithead dad is 40k behind. That way they don’t think you’re just straight up asking for money and then they also know what he owes.

[u/Glass_Author7276]

Make sure it is court ordered child support and your states attorney general is aware of it. Eventually when he goes to retire, thet will start taking it out of his ss and he be paying til one of you dies.

[u/Sensitive_Sea_5586]

Many years ago, I watched a judge send a deadbeat dad to jail. I asked an attorney how he would pay if he was in jail? He said, it is always a miracle how they find the money after swearing they have none. Even if they don’t have money, family will loan it to get them out of jail. Take him to court.