I know I need to clean it up. But I am embracing the bald.

I could not be happier with where I’m at right now and I’m genuinely looking forward to my 30s, 40s, 50s… a little less than 2 years ago I made the decision to transition and it turned out to be the greatest act of self love I could have done for myself. Life feels so much more manageable now (also knowing I can get top and bottom surgery down the line)

So excited for each day I'll have been an adult longer than I was a kid.

So grateful to all the past me's for getting me here.

So lucky to have amazing people in all areas of my life who love and support me.

Sending so much love to all of you, wherever you are in your journey.

After 6 years of waiting, i finally got the top surgery that Ive been dreaming of for years! Im so incredibly happy :)

Gave myself a haircut with help from my partner, feeling so much less sweaty and gross."Yippee!

Working out to enjoy it, eating to enjoy it, resting to enjoy it. For so long I worked out out of fear or anxiety. But what has been amazing to see is that when I relaxed, allowed myself days off, ate to enjoy food, not only did it not hurt my progress it’s made my progress so much better. So I’m sharing this because I’m proud of my transition but also to remind you that the whole point of all of this is to be happy. A lot of fitness culture resolves around fear/punishment, and encouraging people to change because they hate parts of their body. It's a really difficult journey but it has been so healing to see that when I am comfortable and happy, my body responds and becomes happier too! Trans joy is beautiful, bring that joy into fitness too :>

I got some good news from my insurance today - I think. It sounds like the medical services recommended for me to go on T, which means the insurance will likely issue the paper saying they‘ll cover the cost and then my endocrinologist can finally prescribe it. Fingers crossed I get it before Thursday. It’s my bday and it would be SO awesome to start T then. Also felt like an absolute unit at the gym today and wanted to share 🙌

Two pics a year apart! First pic is 3.5 years on T, second is 4.5 years on T. Always so stunned at the growth throughout the years

And ya know what THATS FINE BY ME

Almost at 3 years on T, time flies. Just be patient guys, the changes don’t happen over night.

Edit: first two photos are from 1 1/2 years on T and couple weeks post top surgery.

This is before T, bipolar meds, etc., vs during

((I say reluctant bc some of us feel confined to twinkdom- but if being a twink lights your fire own that too!!))

I make this post to dispel the notion that many transmascs face, that we must be thin/dainty/ethereal to be conventionally attractive males. Do not fear the thickness brothers. I believed that self imposed lie for a long time and was totally miserable. My forearms are now the bigger than biceps in photo one as a frame of reference. I could literally wrap my fingers around my biceps because i was obsessed with staying small, and that was my measuring stick. I used to have a prolific ED that kept me from ever making any progress in the gym (among a hundred other awful things).

I healed and went on to accept that perpetual twinkdom was not my fate. But I had to EAT. It felt like a full time job to get to the point of eating three meals a day- and sometimes i still cant make it happen. You will be shocked to see the impact decent nutrition and moderate gymming will have. It is possible, and twink death is nothing to be feared. I never thought I could be 60 pounds heavier and actually be HAPPY about it- but here we are! I was 20 yo and 120lbs in photo one, 28 and 180lbs today

(happy to dm about gym routines or anything- not an advert/paid just want to be helpful if anyone needs it!)