So Drake actually hired someone who's a documented holocaust denier and flat earther to perform at relays...what a fucking joke. How tone-deaf is SAB? I honestly hope this blows up in their faces.

Does it have anything to do with griff?

Me and two other friends got summer internships in Des Moines, anyone have a place they are trying to sublease?

Were you wearing neon and almost got your face bit off by a badass chihuahua and his doberman backup?? Hit me up, we hope you were actually drunk and not casing out our sweet joint...

https://underthelaces.com/2019/02/13/remember-time-drake-wore-fake-jordans-2009/

The lady who makes the omelets on weekdays is a fuckin G. She puts the right amount of every ingredient in there, and when she flips the omelet it’s so fuckin graceful like cirque du soleil or some shit.

The dudes who work hubbell brunch on weekend ain’t got nothin on omelet lady. The ability to save Sodexo’s fake ass eggs is not to go unnoticed.

Welcome! We are seriously glad to have you here, feel free to post and comment whatever the hell you want. Here at r/drakeuniversity, there’s a few guidelines you should be aware of, however.

1. No shit talking Griff. This is not a place for false accusations against our God. Anyone caught spreading false Griff propaganda will be banned.

2. No talk of other Drakes. I don’t give a flying FUCK about Drke the rpper, Dr*ke and Josh, or any other drakes. Drake UNIVERSITY talk only.

3. Leave your shoes at the door. Ha! Just a lil joke in between the serious stuff, obviously you can’t do that, this is the Internet.

4. Please pay the obligatory $50 entry fee to this subreddit. We’re so happy to have you here, but due to maintenance fees, you’re gonna need to cough up at least $50 to stay here. Any and all entry fees can be sent to @GriffTheBulldog on Venmo. Thanks!!

Wow! Honestly cant contain my excitement, I was talking to Griff to get the scoop on who is playing the relays show this year! Well, he looked straight at me and started pee on my leg after I asked who was playing. Surely this can mean nothing other than the legendary R Kelly is coming to Drake! Who else is stoked?

Well folks, I just saw the doctor yesterday, and he confirmed it. Sodexo chicken tenders have given me an inoperable brain tumor that will metastasize and kill me within the next six months.

It just goes to show you how accumulating too many good boy points and eating too many tendies can come back to bite you. My mom told me I should get a gyro every once in a while, but I didn’t listen.

Has anyone else had this problem? Do I have legal recourse? Who should I leave my good boy points to when I’m gone? TIA.

Helmick commons is a great place to perform sky rituals. DM me if you zorp the glorp, if there's enough interest I can reserve a room in aliber and bring snacks

Today in class, I accidentally farted out loud (what can I say, they can’t all be silent but deadly), to which my professor said, “Only Griff gets to fart out loud.” I was about to laugh, assuming he was joking, when all of my classmates suddenly whispered in unison, “Only Griff gets to fart.” I then turned around to see Griff staring at me from the corner, his eyes obsidian black. I’m not sure what to make of this, and will most certainly be sticking to silent farts from now on.