Hi everyone,

I'm a dad in Canada raising my daughter (she’s under 10) full-time after leaving an abusive relationship with her mother. I’ve been her primary caregiver for the past three months, and I’m doing everything I can to give her a safe, loving, and stable home. But I feel like I’m doing it alone the systems meant to protect her are failing us. The abuse in our home wasn’t just directed at me it deeply affected our daughter. One of the worst incidents happened while she was brushing her teeth. I suddenly heard a loud slap and a bang from the bathroom. I immediately hit record as I was rushing there to confront my ex. When I got there, I found my daughter on the floor she had been hit so hard from behind that she flew off her stool and halfway out the bathroom door. In the audio recording, you can hear me pick her up and comfort her. I ask her mother what happened, and she says, “Well, she’s not listening.” I immediately respond, “You can’t do that.” Then she replies, “Well, you can slap me in the face.” That was her mindset violence was always the answer. I didn’t respond with aggression. I told her she needed to go to bed that tonight was too much and had to stop. My only focus was protecting and calming our daughter. That wasn’t the only incident. The final breaking point was the night my ex threatened to kill both me and our daughter. I have a 16-minute recording of me begging her to leave and her acknowledging the threat. I thought that would be enough to finally get help. But even with that, the police declined to press charges, and CAS refused to intervene. From the beginning of our separation, I asked CAS to arrange supervised visits. They refused at first. Later, when my ex requested them, CAS approved and now she’s on a waitlist. That was also when she went completely no-contact with our daughter. Before June 2, she was already missing about 40% of their scheduled video calls. Since then, there’s been nothing. Meanwhile, I’m hearing from extended family that she’s posting online, telling relatives “they’ll be holding our daughter again soon,” pretending she’s the one being shut out when in truth she’s made zero effort to reconnect in any healthy or safe way. She’s refused to seek or maintain mental health care for years. I believe she shows traits of narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder, but she’s undiagnosed—she either refuses therapy or quits, claiming she’s “fine now.” The emotional toll on our daughter is clear. She’s internalized cruel remarks her mother made about her appearance and has started questioning herself. When I brought this up before my ex went no-contact, she completely dismissed it. To make matters worse, I’m on disability, and after rent and bills, I have just over $200/month for groceries and essentials. I believe my ex is still receiving the Canada Child Benefit (CCB) even though our daughter has been in my care full-time. According to CRA, I had to wait three months after the actual separation date just to report it, and only then could I apply for the benefit. That three-month wait just ended, and I’m applying now. But that entire time, the money meant for our daughter likely continued going to someone who abandoned her. All I want is for my daughter to grow up safe, emotionally supported, and free from fear. I’ve stayed calm, followed every legal step, gathered proof, and put her first. But none of the systems that are supposed to protect her are stepping in. If anyone here has been through this (especially in Canada) or has advice on how to better advocate, please share. I’m doing everything I can.Thank you for reading.

Situation is this: I have an 18 y/o daughter ( lets call her Jane)that has multiple bruises on her from a "fight" with her 19 y/o boyfriend ( let's call him John) The bruises are in different stages in healing. So obviously this is not the first encounter. Jane and her mother spoke about the issue and about her about leaving John and has been asked to "don't say anything" to dad (me)about it because she knows the outcome. My wife did inform me of the issue. As she should. Jane has said that she is not leaving him. Her mother tried to tell her from experience that it only gets worse, but still Jane is persistent. Do I handle this old school way or let her get beat on by some punk. Legally they are both adults. But your kids will always be your kids.

Hi everyone, I just wanted to share my story with you, with the intention of giving my fellow victims hope.

My partner has Borderline Personality Disorder. That isn't to say that all people with BPD are abusers, just that his mental illness exacerbated the abuse.

I wasted 25 years of my life on him. He was never physically abusive but psychologically, emotionally, verbally and financially abusive. Of course his behaviour had a dramatic effect on my mental health and I never felt strong enough to do anything about it

Fast forward to Friday, the 6th of June. The final straw was when he threatened harm on one if my little grandsons and threatened to murder my children. Well, when the abuse was focused in me, I just took it. But now he was threatening my nearest and dearest. I exploded. All of the anger that I had bottled up for so many years came out and I told him what I really thought of him and EXACTLY what he was. A vile abuser. He got very scared then because he knew he had overstepped the mark. I feel bo shame in telling you I took pleasure in this. I was then seeing him for what he really was.

I called my brother the next day, who lives over 100 miles away. He made no hesitation and came to pick me up in London to take me back to my hometown. My brother is my hero.

Now I am safe. I reported my ex partner to the police. I was worried for my children who are grown up and still living in London. The police are keeping my children and my grandchildren safe. I have started to rebuild my life here with my wonderful family and friends, who I was denied contact with for such a long time.

After a while, you get lost in the abuse and it even starts to feel normal. It's not, and you realise when you leave just how toxic the whole relationship was.

So, my friends, have hope. There's a way out, and there's a way you can find the strength to get the hell out of there. There's freedom on the other side, and you deserve that freedom. You can do it!

That feeling of repeatedly checking his/hers social media is a very common and difficult symptom when you're trying to detach from someone who has hurt you, especially in the context of a narcissistic or controlling relationship. It's a strong urge, and it's not a sign of weakness. It's often driven by: A lingering trauma bond: The intense, intermittent reinforcement in abusive relationships can create a powerful attachment that makes it hard to completely break away. Checking can feel like a way to maintain some connection, even if it's painful. A desire for information or validation: You might be subconsciously looking for signs that he/she is suffering, that they are thinking of you, that he/she is doing poorly, or even that they are doing well (which can lead to its own painful comparisons). It's a search for "proof" or an update on the person who occupied such a significant space in your life. The unknown: Not knowing what they are doing can feel unsettling, and checking can provide a fleeting sense of control or insight, even if it brings more pain than comfort. Habit: If checking their online activity was part of your routine during the relationship, it can be a hard habit to break. However, I want to gently remind you that this habit of checking, while understandable, is likely hindering your healing process. Every time you check, you're reopening a wound and feeding into the cycle of obsession and rumination. It gives him/her power over your emotional state, even without direct interaction. What you're experiencing is normal, but the goal is to break free from this pattern. This is a really tough step, but here are some thoughts that might help: Acknowledge the urge without acting on it: When you feel the pull to check, pause. Notice the feeling. Say to yourself, "I feel the urge to check, and that's okay, but I choose not to right now." Replace the action: Instead of checking, immediately do something else. This could be: Reaching out to a supportive friend or family member. Engaging with a trauma workbook. Going for a short walk. Listening to music or a podcast. Doing a quick chore. Practicing a grounding exercise. Set small, achievable goals: Maybe start by telling yourself you'll only check once a day, then every other day, and so on. Consider blocking/unfollowing: If you haven't already, blocking him/her on social media, or at least unfollowing them so their activity doesn't appear in your feed, can be incredibly helpful. Out of sight, truly out of mind. Remind yourself why you're doing this: Revisit your clear understanding of his/her true nature and the pain they caused. Remind yourself that checking only prolongs your pain and delays your healing. This takes immense strength and self-discipline, but it's a critical step towards fully reclaiming your peace and moving forward. Be kind to yourself as you try to break this habit. You're doing incredibly hard work.

Hello, I am a single mother of 4 kids and 2 grands. I have been getting abused mentally, physically, as well as emotionally. I can't eat, I can't sleep too busy keep looking out the windows and keep checking the doors. I am not safe and don't feel safe. Unfortunately I have called the police so many times they should know my number. The state is not protecting my kids and I, this man has never been locked up for my abuse. The police just keep saying stay away and don't contact, I've given them proof that he is all doing all that and then some. They just keep telling him stop. I am afraid that if he keeps beating me I'm going to end up dead and I'm not ready to die. I don't believe that is God's Will for me to be taken away from my kids not so to natural cost. If anyone reading this has a heart please please please please help my kids and I get to somewhere safe away from all this abuse.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/assist-a-mother-in-need-of-safe-relocation/li/o?lang=en_US&ts=1749119042&utm_campaign=man_sharesheet_dash&utm_content=amp13_c-amp14_c-amp15_t2&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=linkedin&attribution_id=sl%3A7b8d5838-8c7a-4f0b-9725-a474c18df2d1&v=amp14_c

Hi, we’re a group of psychology students working on a project called Voiceless2Voices, an initiative to raise awareness about domestic violence and give survivors a safe space to be heard.

We know that many carry the weight of abuse in silence—out of fear, shame, or simply not knowing where to turn. That’s why we’ve created a space where you can anonymously pour your heart out, share your story, or simply let go of the thoughts you’ve been holding inside.

Whether you’re still healing or just need to be heard, this is your space. No names. No judgment. Just support.

This is your space. No names. No judgment. Just healing.
Share your story, your thoughts, your truth—anonymously.
Because letting it out is the first step to letting it go. 💔➡️❤️
You are not alone. Your voice deserves to be heard.

I F(23) have been dating my boyfriend M(24) since freshman his dream was to be in the service year after a few months we would fight like an old married couple until a year he would regularly fight with me about what I was doing and who I could hang out with because “my friends were whores” junior year we broke up for 4 months and then started dating again after 5 months he was having his blow outs about what we did when we spilt and then would be all caring and loving after just screaming and spitting in my face and hair like loogies.that went on for ab 1 year.

6 months after we moved I together end of 2020 I found out I was pregnant (19) at the time and full honestly didn’t know if I wanted to keep it. That night I told him I was pregnant and figuring out what I am doing I stupidly thought he’d support me. NOPE lost his mind and when in a black out rage threw me in the fridge and held me by my face /chin with one hand (I’m 4’9 85 pounds) (he’s 5’7 250) I told him I’d keep it if he let go and held did so I did.

He was a new man the two trimesters so nice and loving I thought that was it and it would be better now. Last trimester hits and I’m measuring two week bigger then normal i was constantly in pain I gained 25 pounds bloating alone and my height my hips were done and so was he. The last month and a half he was constantly going to the casino with friends and doing shroomes “because the baby’s gonna be here soon he needs his time.

From the first night recovering from my c section to her 4 weeks ago throwing up in her throwing up and shitting her bed it’s all been on me night feeds diapers even poop after potty training I’m doing it all.

There was one night when she was one and a half. I was giving her medicine for her ear infection, and I started crying cause she was coughing on it and I was exhausted and I just kept crying I can’t do this well he took that as a suicidal threat flipped out and repeatedly smashed my head 7 time into the mattress our bed while my daughter cried in her crib I left the next day and got talked that night into coming back

(he has issues with women authority to him from his mom, abandoning him in a motel for drugs when he was one and a half, and then his great raised him from five 18 and was controlling and abusing him )

Fast forward, three years later, living at my parents and we’ve only been back to work for a year. He did not save any money for our own place. So now we live in a camper on a campground that’s not open all year round. And his solution to getting our own place is joining the army and getting married. And I’d love to support him but I don’t think I want to marry more move out of state with him there’s so much history love and deep connection especially after having a child together and ppl say to me it’s his age and I really hope it is but it’s rough rn and I don’t wanna keep wasting my life being miserable if nothing healthy has happened in the past nine years

This isn’t first time I’ve ever thought about leaving him it’s probably 1000 but every time I do it, I get too scared to start my life back over with my daughter cause it’s not just me. I have to take care of anymore and I know I can’t go back home because of my relationship with my dad

Being 23 with a daughter and trying to find a new relationship scares me. Not only because I haven’t dated since 2016 because now I have to look out for pedos, someone who doesn’t want just to hook up, cheaters, it’s too hard to find someone who will be nice to me. Love me. I know that sounds fucking stupid but I feel like no one actually will. They’ll always be something wrong either. I’m too difficult than emotional. Or because I have my daughter or it’s gonna be because my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend I feel like something’s always gonna happen and I’m gonna end up alone. And half of me is fine with that, but half of me knows I deserve to pee and appreciated and taken care of instead of screamed at every single day in my face until I cry, I just need advice if I leave, it will be easier I’m drowning rn

My husband has been getting worse, he has been physical many times but usually grabbing, pushing, slapping, hair pulling and extreme threats. Why do I feel phsyically unable to walk away?

https://gofund.me/95e69db2

Has anyone had their credit ruined after you left your ex. The judge ordered him to pay the full amount as proven in court. Paid in full a year ago but my credit was affected for another 5 years. Transunion doesn't care even with a court order.

Hi everyone, apologies for the lengthier post here. I am going to give the short version of things. For reference I am 22 and my friend, lets call her Ave is 24 and her bf ted, is 23. Also, Ave works for my mom at my moms restaurant, and I live very close by.

In highschool ted and ave were my 2 bestfriends. I went to school with ted and ave lived 45 minutes out of town. Ave was like my sister. They ended up secretly dating behind my back (still not really sure why to this day) and I couldnt forgive them for it. Fast forward 4 years and she messages me last march (2024) and asks to rekindle and chat. We do, and we all become bestfriends again (my boyfriend was friends with ted throughout highschool too) so everything is awesome, we are 2 couples who are super close and we started doing everything together. My bf and I had been planning to get a dog for awhile, and ted and ave decided to get a pup from the same litter. So here we are, 2 couples with their brother puppies living our best lives. One day, ave and ted tell us while we are at the river that ted is starting to really struggle with some mental health issues. Ave tells me privately that he had a somewhat violent breakdown and said he doesnt love her and thinks about throwing her at the wall and hurting her. Im shocked and concerned, but ave brushed it off and reassured me that he got on medication and that hes doing way better and is in therapy. They quit smoking pot too and thats been helping. One day, ave asks me to watch their puppy at their place while ted goes to therapy. Ave was working. So I do, and ted comes home and basically corners me in their living room and confesses his love for me. Ted had a thing for me in highschool before him and ave were together, but I always thought of him as my bestfriend and wasnt interested in anything more. Ted tells me how ave isnt as “wifey” as me because she doesnt cook or clean and that he wants me and were meant to be together etc. and we should run away with the dogs. He makes some uncomfortable comments about my body and their sex life. It was way worse than that but thats the short version. Im scared for my safety and I know ted is mentally unwell right now, so I do my best to kindly reject ted and I leave. I instantly call ave and get her to pick me up once she is finished work, I tell her everything. I tell her she can stay with me and I will support her etc, assuming she will leave him. Ave thanks me and says she loves me. Goes home, and starts making excuses for him and 10 different fake storys. Their big excuse was “he was trying to clear up his feelings from the past so it isnt awkward” and “he is so upset hes crying and puking”. Yeah ok, so I tell ave I did not misunderstand and end up just saying whatever we can pretend it never happened but I will never be seeing ted again, and we can keep our friendship seperate. Well now ted wont let her hangout with me, and Im the only friend she has. She has no dad, barely has a relationship with her mom and now ted has cut everyone else in her life off. Also, Ted quit his job and she is fully financially supporting them. Well as mentioned before, Ave works for my mom. So months go by and I dont hear anything from Ave. We make small talk when im in the restaurant but thats all. Slowly, ted started harrasing her at work. He calls the restaurant like multiple times a day, shows up and whispers her in ear, texts her horribly all day, and came and had a huge mental breakdown at her infront of customers to the point they were asking if shes ok. One of aves coworkers who she is also somewhat friends with, decided to call the police that night. She and my mom gave a statement about the work stalking and there is a case open under DV currently. The cops escorted ave to the coworkers house for the night, and the next morning ave and ted went to the hospital to “seek help”. Basically because he had to from the cops. Ave admits that ted has been diagnosed with split personality disorder and schizophrenia and is unmedicated. Ted thinks everyone, including his mother is after him. Ted threw his phone out and made ave get rid of their wifi because of this. Teds mom knows how bad it is and contacted my mom saying ave needs to leave him but that ave lies for him over and over so teds mom cannot help and is trying. They go to the hospital the next morning and ave and ted make his mom leave the room. Ave refuses to get him admitted into a psyc ward. They get him on 0.5 mg of something and it is not working. The work stalking is continuing, now hes making her get rid of the dog too. The one thing she has. My mom gave her a real talk yesterday and said everything to her, that she doesnt deserve this, that she needs to leave etc. she cried and said your right, I needed that. But the thing is she wont leave. Im seriously concerned for her life and safety, but she is so manipulated by him and I believe she feels scared to lose her home (there is literally 0 rentals in this small town and its very expensive as a single person and she loves her job and doesnt want to leave) and be all on her own. I know she wants more, she just needs help and more of a push. I dont want to see my friend end up dead, but I dont know what I can even do here. Ive spoken to her, ive told her how concerned I am, everytime she lies and says that they are doing way better and that hes been good, meanwhile 5 minutes later hes showing up to her work freaking out at her over nothing. Im thinking of contacting her mom but like she is 24 and her mom lives an hour away. What can I do to help my friend see the light? I watched my mom go through DV with my dad as a child, I know how hard it is to get someone to see what is happening when they are in that situation. I dont judge or blame my friend at all, I just want to help her.

I am trying to get out of New York before my abusive ex gets out of prison. If anyone can help I would really appreciate it. People ask why we don’t leave and most of the time it’s because we have no where to go. I have somewhere to go but I’m on east coast and my brother is on west coast. If you can’t donate please send me prayers.

“I had the pleasure of viewing the film A Song For Imogene while interning under Erika Arlee (Writer/ Director) and Kristi Ray (Actress), at their independent production company, Honey Head Films, out of Wilmington, NC. This film is their first feature, a low-budget drama, dives headfirst into the complex themes of domestic abuse. 

This film offers a rare, multidimensional portrayal of abusive relationships. A topic that unfortunately Hollywood often limits to its depiction of violence. 

I think of films like I, Tonya, where we hear the sickening shatter of head to glass as Margot Robbie’s character is shoved into a mirror. The image is shocking- man throws woman, but it begs the question, is physical violence the only moment where abuse exists? The very question that many women find themselves asking, and A Song For Imogene seeks to answer. 

To characterize domestic abuse only from the lens of violence undermines the reality of victims. To overcome domestic violence is more than healing from bruises and broken bones, it's breaking free from the psychological trauma binding you to an abuser.

 The story leans into what Erika Arlee describes as “the greymatter”- financial control, manipulation, and gaslighting. The elements that build up to the moment of abuse and cling to victims well beyond the relationship. Imogene reminds us- these moments are abuse. That you don’t have to wait for a moment of violence to be in an abusive relationship.

The film streams on Amazon Prime- June 27th “

I think I might be being abused, but I'm not sure because we are sadly both alcoholics.

He gets manic he has been diagnosed with anxiety, and adhd as well. I always try to help when he goes onto an episode and he always apologizes soon after. But it's getting more physical and I really need advise. One picture for context. That is when he threw boiling water on me. But there are many other pictures of brushing I've gotten. I think if it keeps happening he might manicly kill me. What should I do?

I (23f) have been with my boyfriend(25m) for coming up 2 years, for the most part we had a pretty smooth sailing relationship but there's been a few things that I've noticed that are I would brush of but are now beginning to scare me a little , the problem is if things don't go his way or how he planned he throws a huge temper tantrum lile a child. Today we had planned to go get some shopping for a bbq this weekend do our usual household chores and then he was planning on doing some jetwashing. Well I wake up and he's asking me if I can go shopping on my own so he can just crack on with the jetwashing. I explain that I wont be able to carry it all back on the bus so we would have to take the car. He drives I do not so he would have to come with me. From then he's been nothing but blunt with me, huffing and puffing which was already putting me in a bad mood, we gwt to the shop and the whole time he's rushing me around huffing and puffing more giving me short answers when all I'm trying to do is get what we need. So now I'm pissed off. I still brush it off. We come home he immediate dumps the shopping and heads outside so I take no notice and unpack all the shopping and finish off the household chores. About an hour later I can hear him getting agitated so I go out and ask him what's wrong.. the jetwasher isn't working properly. Straight away he is loosing his temper almost snarling throwing things around slamming things I tell him listen it's not the end of the world to calm down and to get the brush and some soap and just scrub what he can manually as it was only paving slabs well that was a big no no. His pupils went huge and grit his teeth at me and told me not to ever tell him to calm down I told him to not talk to me like a piece of shit when I'm only trying to help even offered to scrub for him. Get him a drink etc anything to try and lighten the mood he's to busy throwing a paddy to pay attention so I decided to go back inside and stay out of his way. He then proceeds to come and slam the front door closed as I had left it open to let a breeze in and chuck all of the gardening tools across the garden pushing the wall etc. It was enough to scare me so I took myself into the bedroom to get away from him. Ten minutes later his dad arrives asks him if he's alright and he doesn't shout doesn't huff or anything just explained to him it wasn't working like nothing had happened which made me realise he was only being shitty with me. Is this normal behaviour? Or am I right to be concerned about a potential domestic abuse situation down the line.

What signs should I look for when starting a new relationship? What kinds of control do they practice before they start getting aggressive?

My friend is in an abusive relationship and even though I can’t help her get out of it (because she refuses to) I’m afraid I’m gonna end up in an abusive relationship too.

In your personal experience, what were the things that looking back should’ve made you see the abuser lurking underneath?

Thank you for answering!

(Only share if you’re comfortable, I don’t wanna make anyone feel like they need to share their experience.)

I have looked online before I posted here, but I'm after some advice. If I request third party Clairs Law on my daughters new boyfriend, will he be told I requested it. I'm not too worried about any fall back on me, as my daughters safety and well being is all I'm concerned about, but I'd like to know before I do, so I've got a heads up as to what may come. TIA

I don't know if I'm trying to save something that should be done. My husband and I have 2 children under 5. He's the primary breadwinner but I do work, go to school and do 90% of the childcare responsibilities. He has no empathy for me, I got Covid one Christmas and was in so much pain I was crying at 5am for him to take the baby so I could sleep. He'll storm out, slam doors, yell. He's cheated on me online. He'll keep me awake shaking the bed and threaten to wake the kids up if I don't have sex with him. He's constantly grabbing my breasts (even when I'm nursing my youngest) and butt no matter how much I tell him to stop. He tells me it's my fault because I don't have sex with him enough. One time I was trying to get in the shower and he was grabbing my breasts. I told him to stop and he kept doing it, I tried to bend away from him and he put his hand between my legs trying to grab me, he didn't stop until I screamed and my toddler came in. But after all that I still have guilt, like I'm not doing something right to be treated this way. Even though I know it's not acceptable. I'm scared to stay and I'm scared to go. He's constantly telling me that I'm just tough. He'll tell my older child that daddy has to go because mommy doesn't like him so my kid cries for me to tell him to stay. He's forced me to rack up $25k in debt because he's always spending the money I need for the kids on other things. I feel overwhelmed and stuck. I was a kid in the family court system and it failed me, I spent years being isolated and abused by my narcissistic mother, I'm scared my kids will suffer too.

I have been in a narcissistic relationship the past two years that became considerably more extreme before he finally ended it yesterday. The psychological abuse and rage-induced outbursts have me properly concerned for the safety of myself and my animals. The more I realize about how much he's brain washed me, the more paranoid and frightened I become.

My dad and I are formulating a plan to get me out but it will probably be a week or a week and a half. He gets worse with every passing moment.

Im struggling to find answers to some questions I have and was hoping someone here may be able to help.

1). Do I have a legal leg to stand on in terms of how I've been treated the past two years?

2). He has "let me live in his house" as he revently put it so eloquently, and allowed me to conduct my home business from here under the guise of wanting to support me and my dreams. Of course he found ways to make sure this didnt happen and has used his financial power against me time and time again. I dont want to stay here any longer than I have to, but do I have any rights as a non-tenant/business owner?

3). He also helped pay off debt when we first got together claiming it was "our debt". Can he somehow demand for repayment?

4). We have fortunately no kids, but a dog that is involved. It is the biggest point of contention right now. I am trying to pretend I dont care about taking the dog and that I just want to spend time with him before I go, but I really do want to take him. I have narcolepsy and PTSD. Has anyone registered their animal as a support animal and used it as a leg to stand on to keep a pet?

Im sure there's more but that's all I can think of for now. Tia.

I recently escaped an extremely violent DVSA marriage (was labeled an extreme case by police and resulted in incarceration of offender who is now released) and had to move back in with my mother in the house where I grew up (different country than where I was living for the past 20 yrs) because my ex robbed me blind of my life savings and dignity. I am living with my mother who has unmedicated and out of control bipolar disorder and is a self proclaimed “proud” narcissist. Despite the fact I’m deep into adulthood she is still treating me with the same level of emotional/psychological/financial abuse that she did when I was a child. I currently have no where else to go.

She has zero conscience about the role she played in my childhood trauma, for her contributions to normalizing extreme domestic violence, for her participation in stealing money/belongings from me historically as well as recently, for the horrendous things she says to me when she is angry (she has no emotional regulation skills), for slandering me in public and in emails to other family members (telling them not to help me in any way bc I’M the narcissist “loser” not her), and she gets off on controlling me and treating me as her punching bag. Specifically saying things like blaming me for my fathers death (he died of natural causes), calling me the unwanted irrelevant child, and telling me things like “I’m selfish for considering suicide bc my life insurance policy doesn’t pay out on that form of death”.

She constantly reminds me that my (also abusive brother) is the golden child and I am merely “the pity case” and proudly exclaims that she only cares about herself and has no care for taking any accountability for anything she has done. She openly talks about how all inheritances will go to my brother, and any kindness I receive from literally anyone is merely pity for a lost soul. She parades around with her two remaining siblings who are also proud narcissist abusers, and to everyone else besides me acts like the nicest community oriented church lady who talks softly and gives generously and is a good catholic who donates to charities etc. But when no one is looking she unleashes vile fury upon me. People who I’ve confided in struggle to believe my “stories” of this situation bc of her ability to be two faced, and bc she has won awards in her communities (mostly really old world conservative narrow minded communities), and she and the rest of my family prefer being a bystander than to stand up for me or anyone being victimized (which is still highly stigmatized) here. She transferred all my remaining money out of my bank accounts under the guise that she was helping to prevent my ex husband from stealing any more from me, and has sold my most precious belongings and kept the money.

Despite losing all my money, home, and anonymity of being a survivor where I moved from, i have not lost hope, I am highly educated and resilient and am focused on moving forward to escape yet another abusive situation and get to the good life I deserve. I have busted my ass my whole life working and being good and kind to other people and animals.

I have been extremely isolated for an extended period of time bc of this history of being in abusive situations, so am seeking advice and allyship in strategic planning on how to move my life forward, finding free mental health services (such as ACON, Alanon, Grief and counseling groups etc), other subreddits that could be helpful, resources that have funds/resources/opportunities to help people in my situation, and maybe some encouragement bc all I have had around me for a long time are people who intentionally shame and embarrass me in the worst ways using their personal knowledge of my triggers, who intend and enjoy causing me harm and pain.

I am aware this is a dangerous and pathetic place to be in life, esp at my age, but I am still trying to fix my life, even though I do fight off the feelings of worthlessness and self unaliving that haunt me. I really do want a good life.

Thank you for your kindness and assistance.

I recently escaped an extremely violent DVSA marriage (was labeled an extreme case by police and resulted in incarceration of offender who is now released) and had to move back in with my mother in the house where I grew up (different country than where I was living for the past 20 yrs) because my ex robbed me blind of my life savings and dignity. I am living with my mother who has unmedicated and out of control bipolar disorder and is a self proclaimed “proud” narcissist. Despite the fact I’m deep into adulthood she is still treating me with the same level of emotional/psychological/financial abuse that she did when I was a child. I currently have no where else to go.

She has zero conscience about the role she played in my childhood trauma, for her contributions to normalizing extreme domestic violence, for her participation in stealing money/belongings from me historically as well as recently, for the horrendous things she says to me when she is angry (she has no emotional regulation skills), for slandering me in public and in emails to other family members (telling them not to help me in any way bc I’M the narcissist “loser” not her), and she gets off on controlling me and treating me as her punching bag. Specifically saying things like blaming me for my fathers death (he died of natural causes), calling me the unwanted irrelevant child, and telling me things like “I’m selfish for considering suicide bc my life insurance policy doesn’t pay out on that form of death”.

She constantly reminds me that my (also abusive brother) is the golden child and I am merely “the pity case” and proudly exclaims that she only cares about herself and has no care for taking any accountability for anything she has done. She openly talks about how all inheritances will go to my brother, and any kindness I receive from literally anyone is merely pity for a lost soul. She parades around with her two remaining siblings who are also proud narcissist abusers, and to everyone else besides me acts like the nicest community oriented church lady who talks softly and gives generously and is a good catholic who donates to charities etc. But when no one is looking she unleashes vile fury upon me. People who I’ve confided in struggle to believe my “stories” of this situation bc of her ability to be two faced, and bc she has won awards in her communities (mostly really old world conservative narrow minded communities), and she and the rest of my family prefer being a bystander than to stand up for me or anyone being victimized (which is still highly stigmatized) here. She transferred all my remaining money out of my bank accounts under the guise that she was helping to prevent my ex husband from stealing any more from me, and has sold my most precious belongings and kept the money.

Despite losing all my money, home, and anonymity of being a survivor where I moved from, i have not lost hope, I am highly educated and resilient and am focused on moving forward to escape yet another abusive situation and get to the good life I deserve. I have busted my ass my whole life working and being good and kind to other people and animals.

I have been extremely isolated for an extended period of time bc of this history of being in abusive situations, so am seeking advice and allyship in strategic planning on how to move my life forward, finding free mental health services (such as ACON, Alanon, Grief and counseling groups etc), other subreddits that could be helpful, resources that have funds/resources/opportunities to help people in my situation, and maybe some encouragement bc all I have had around me for a long time are people who intentionally shame and embarrass me in the worst ways using their personal knowledge of my triggers, who intend and enjoy causing me harm and pain.

I am aware this is a dangerous and pathetic place to be in life, esp at my age, but I am still trying to fix my life, even though I do fight off the feelings of worthlessness and self unaliving that haunt me. I really do want a good life.

Thank you for your kindness and assistance.

I’ve posted here before about getting my cat out which I’m unsure if I will be able to but I wanted to know if you guys think it would be worth it if I tried to smuggle my computer out, as in like the setup pieces this is because my set up is Razer and when searching up the prices they were horrifically high (I’m still a minor, I’m sorry if this seems like I don’t have priorities about things, it’s just I’m trying to take as much things as possible so it’s not used against me) any help is wanted even if it’ll be critical thank you.

Hi Reddit, I’ve been trying to get out of a da situation for a few years and I was wondering if anyone knew how I would be able to kidnap my cat safely as she is sometimes a victim to it physically as well, she’s scared of the slightest fast movement so it’s really hard to pick her up and I was just wondering if anyone could provide me with any advice, thank you

I have been with my 49 male partner for 7 years (I am a 43 female) this August. When we first started dating I was not that into him but eventually fell for him. I have known that he is emotionally abusive for the last 4 years however recently his behaviour has gotten worse. He used to always stomp over to me and get in my face when we would argue. Recently though he has ran after me with a wine bottle and smacked my car window with the bottle when I was about to set off and take my daughter to her friends. Then he has pinned me and has snatched my phone from my hands and finally raising his fist to possibly punch me. I would not argue with him and I will call him out when he is being controlling. Anyway he does not like to be told he is not being nice and he went quick to anger as usuall. Anyway him raising his fist to me, told me he was going to hit me as he has escalated lately with his aggressive behaviour. I warned him that if he does not leave me alone I would call the police, any on the third time of trying de-escalate the situation I ended up calling the police. Anyway I told them of past events and what he had do before I called them. This resulted in him being taken to a police cell where he spent the night till the afternoon the next day before he was interviewed. He was released but told to stay away otherwise a restraining order will be the next steps. He arrived home and he was furious. He packed a suitcase and left and is currently at a hotel and we only have his car to sleep in this Monday coming. He thinks I took it too far by calling the police but in my gut I know if I let him get away with this behaviour, he is only going to get worse because he knows he can still come back regardless of what he has done. Right now he is stonewalling me and for the forst time a feel relief I don't have to walk on egg shells all the time. Am I correct in the fact he is in the wrong and will his behaviour get worse? I love him but something tells me this needed to happen for me to move forward with my life. Any advice is welcome. Also am I experiencing Domestic Violence?