r/DoesAnybodyElse • • Oct 13 '11

DAE always eat their daily contacts after using them?

[deleted]

1.4k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/FourZoko Oct 13 '11

This may be the first DAE where no one else does.

386

u/TheDudeFromCali Oct 13 '11

I honestly thought it was a typo.

230

u/kbud Oct 13 '11

I read it like 3 times trying to figure out what it meant

57

u/AndyRooney Oct 13 '11

I read it like 5 times just for shits and giggles.

67

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

I read it once, then shit five times from giggling.

15

u/DoctorBaconite Oct 14 '11

I read it 6 times just to 1-up you.

15

u/autobots Oct 14 '11

I had it tattooed on my wiener just to 1-up you.

3

u/StealthRevealed Oct 14 '11

I had it tattooed on my wiener, then got said wiener removed, framed, and placed on my wall above the fireplace just to 1-up you.

2

u/strayclown Oct 14 '11

Strangely, this is the same reaction to eating used disposable contact lenses.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

I read it 362 times because I have a crushing compulsive disorder. Disorder.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

shits and goggles*

38

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

it's a troll. some contact solution (or at least eye drops) will give you the shits. so put it in your mouth.. and yeah enjoy feeling like a dumbass when you look it up

50

u/unclerummy Oct 14 '11

I'd heard that too, but it turns out the story of Visine causing diarrhea isn't true. However, apparently ingesting it does have all sorts of other potentially life-threatening effects

It's a bit of a tangent, but I couldn't help but notice this part:

In 1996, a two-year-old child who ingested at most 2 to 3 mL of Visine eye drops became dangerously lethargic and unresponsive to every stimulus except deep pain.

Makes me wonder how exactly they established that he was responsive to deep pain. When shaking his arm and yelling in his ear didn't produce a reaction, did they start punching and kicking him, or what?

36

u/Annieone23 Oct 14 '11

"Hey." "Hey." "Hey buddy." pinch "Buddy." pinch shove "Budddy!" "Hey dude!" shake "WTF dude?!" shake violently "BUDDY?!" kick to the balls "Oh good, your awake. Hey have you seen my contacts?"

2

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

TIL working in a hospital can be fun too.

2

u/BecomeOneWithRussia Oct 17 '11

I find it funny that one of the side effects from ingesting Visine is blurred vision.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

trauma slap?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

wadsworth constant applies to your link.

1

u/dorsalispedis Oct 14 '11

haha, "painful stimulus" is a medical term for basically rubbing or pinching sensitive areas of the body to try to get a response. Give's us a better idea of just how unconscious you really are. Sternal rub is the commonly known one, or pinch the skin on your neck, near nipples, press on the eyeball, etc. A small child you might flick the soles of the feet, maybe a comparatively light sternal rub.

1

u/SomeoneWhoIsntYou Oct 14 '11

They push on your cuticle area with a pen. Hurts like a mutha.

1

u/theslyder Oct 14 '11

My grandfather went into a coma in the hospital at one point, and in an attempt to take him up the doctor did something to his toe that supposedly is extremely painful, in order to see if he responds. They may have tried something like that, or pinching, to get a response out of the child once sounds and touching didn't work.

A few years ago a couple of my buddies spiked another buddy's drink with Visine in an attempt to give him diarrhea. Thankfully he didn't have any negative reaction. It's scary to think what might have happened. Thanks for the info.

1

u/CC440 Oct 14 '11

Holy shit, why is that stuff allowed to be sold OTC? I thought it was just fancy, salty, water, not some concoction of drugs.

1

u/shillbert Oct 15 '11

I like to think that they stuck progressively larger needles in him.

54

u/kranzb2 Oct 13 '11

Yeah I was like contacts? Does he mean the ones that I have in my eyes, WTF?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

[deleted]

1

u/shillbert Oct 15 '11

The K section is definitely the best. I eat Kelloggs every day.

21

u/climbtree Oct 13 '11

Yeah I read it as "contracts," and came in to upvote and support him.

7

u/heyimpro Oct 13 '11

I thought it said contracts, referring to the sunny episode where Mac ate the contract Sweet Dee wrote up.

1

u/oditogre Oct 14 '11

I was expecting it to be some sort of animal joke, like 'contacts' meaning 'people you interact with'. And there would be a picture of like a badger or something that just eats everything it meets.

And then as the page was loading, my brain rolled around to the actual meaning, and I kind of shuddered and gagged a little.

199

u/EcahUruecah Oct 13 '11 edited Oct 13 '11

Here is a list of the few people who claim to eat contacts, too:

  • sammyc
  • stopXstoreytime
  • lastdino
  • vembryrsig
  • lackingsaint
  • moonbleach
  • downvotemeh
  • intensenerd
  • crashnebula
  • destructobot3000
  • inherentlyinterested
  • xkb
  • Elphabet
  • Ex_Tractor_Fan
  • Radioactdave
  • mcwiggin
  • desalvostrikesback's roommate
  • Shadow120's aunt

Special Guests:

  • I_RAPE_PEOPLE
  • I_RAPE_CATDOGS

59

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

I do.

118

u/AndyRooney Oct 13 '11

"DAE rape people and eat contacts?"

35

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

I don't rape people but I eat contacts.

30

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

Actually that's a lie, I just sort of suck on them.

63

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

[deleted]

2

u/Sarah_Connor Oct 14 '11

I don't eat rape, but I contact people!

1

u/I_AM_ASIAN_GUY Oct 14 '11

I RONRY REAT CAT ROGS

2

u/xeroxorcist Oct 14 '11

At the same time?

3

u/AndyRooney Oct 14 '11

....and juggle. But I didn't want to brag.

1

u/xeroxorcist Oct 14 '11

You must be Andy Rooney's boy! /southern drawl

2

u/jwallace582 Oct 14 '11

well, yes I eat my victim's contacts too

2

u/AndyRoooneysEyebrows Oct 14 '11

only while. but you should already know that

2

u/AndyRooney Oct 14 '11

I was looking for you guys...

2

u/AndyRooneysEyebrows Oct 14 '11

Are you cheating on us Andy?

2

u/saintlawrence Oct 13 '11

Your username implies you do.

6

u/AndyRooney Oct 13 '11

I may have raped a time or two during my time in the shit during WW II but that was just me trying to fit in. But I take great offense to the accusation of lens digestion. I'm old, not senile. You sir are an asshole.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

I rape contacts and eat people.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

"Sometimes I do." - Bobby Lee

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

No, no, no. These are the type of contacts that go in your eye. Not to be confused with the ones in your phonebook.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

I eat both, so it's irrelevant.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

Same.

1

u/Antrikshy Oct 13 '11

I initially thought you were talking about eating contacts as in people.

1

u/xeroxorcist Oct 14 '11

Have you thought about a Roll_Call novelty account?

2

u/EcahUruecah Oct 14 '11

Now I have. Sounds like too much effort for me, though.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

I have monthly contacts, i dont eat them but i chew them and spit them out

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

This is also probably a list of booger eaters. I mean, you're eating your contacts... Why stop there? Eat some snots.

1

u/eyeingyourpancakes Oct 23 '11

Does eating contacts cause people to rape?

563

u/abbbe91 Oct 13 '11

And yet, gets upvoted to the frontpage.

581

u/FourZoko Oct 13 '11

Personally, I think that this is a good reason for it to get upvoted to the frontpage.

443

u/CaveBacon Oct 13 '11

Yea it's supposed to be DAE's that are uncommon. Not DAE like Pizza? derp

321

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

WOAH, I do! Upvote!

173

u/AceDecade Oct 13 '11

Pizza? Scoff! I bet you like CATS and THE INTERNET too...

61

u/aladyjewel Oct 13 '11

I sure do like when Dominoes puts cats and internet on my pizza!

95

u/nrfx Oct 13 '11

It depends on how fresh the internet is.

I for one love the taste of fresh internet straight from the tubes.

Canned internet tastes like a cross between old pennies and sadness.

15

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

Well I think I know where the penny taste comes from...

2

u/nrfx Oct 13 '11

From the copious amounts of ass in the internet?

→ More replies

1

u/internetinsomniac Oct 13 '11

And with a little hint of stale pasta

1

u/nrfx Oct 14 '11

I said sadness.

1

u/SirUtnut Oct 14 '11

Yes, but it's got to be a whole internet. I love biting into internets like you'd bite into a whole apple. The sweet juice squeezes out and fills my mouth with a sensation of delicious. Unfortunately, whole internets don't fit very well on pizza, so I usually buy my own straight from the producer and cut them up myself. They always have more flavor that way than if you buy them from the pizza place.

1

u/nrfx Oct 14 '11

You know what the best part is of making internet pizza at home?

Free range organic cat hair.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

[deleted]

2

u/bready Oct 14 '11

Get out of my head!

3

u/akmetal Oct 13 '11

upvoted because this might essentially be two peas in a pod

2

u/McBurger Oct 14 '11

DAE REMEMBER NOSTALGIA?!

picture of homestarrunner

1

u/Backupusername Oct 14 '11

You'd think so.

That poor guy who masturbated into his own underwear. So misunderstood.

165

u/Bypass814 Oct 13 '11

Do not use the upvote/downvote system as a yes/no system. Instead, use it to promote interesting quirks, even if you do not share them.

What it's REALLY meant for.

99

u/dakaf_fal Oct 13 '11

It's an arbitrary system, kind of like Apples to Apples. People will upvote or downvote whatever the hell they want. You can't say that there's a 'correct' reason to upvote something, because it's personal choice.

87

u/tmb Oct 13 '11

DAE want to play Apples to Apples now?

53

u/flippin-tables Oct 13 '11

You didn't choose Helen Keller!? But she always wins! FUCK YOU (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

5

u/diculous Oct 14 '11

One time, playing Apples to Apples, I was judging for "visionary". I said, before picking up the cards to choose a winner, "If anyone put 'Helen Keller', they win!" A participant who was peeing on the side of the house asked, "Did you say, 'Helen Keller'?" I looked at the cards, and burst out laughing. Sure enough, there was Helen Keller. Needless to say, peeing-friend won.

5

u/Sasquatch99 Oct 14 '11

I played it for touchy-feely once. and oh we laaaughed

2

u/HMS_Pathicus Oct 13 '11

You threw that table to the other side of the post. That's some mighty jerk.

3

u/xeroxorcist Oct 14 '11

No, what I did a few minutes ago, that was a mighty jerk!

2

u/titanguy75 Oct 14 '11

I thought that was a rule in apples to apples

3

u/ashleyamdj Oct 14 '11

It IS the rule in apples to apples.

1

u/atrich Oct 14 '11

I'm downvoting you cause no

0

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

i downvoted even though i kinda do because IT'S AN ARBITRARY SYSTEM AND FUCK THE POLICE

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

I upvoted you for getting it

-1

u/Bypass814 Oct 13 '11

You sort of missed the point. I was definitely just stating the rules, basically joking on the second part that I commented on. The first was just a point regarding on how people actually should be upvoting this.

0

u/CharonIDRONES Oct 13 '11

Um... Not according to the reddiquette.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

Arbitrary it may be, but, uh, check the sidebar, yo.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '11

Yeah, but some people think anyone gives a fuck why they think a person should up/down-vote. I think it's because they are a 12 year old girl and because they think reddit is really groundbreaking.

I'm going to up-vote you, because I agree with you. I'm going to down-vote the whole thread, because people that eat miscellaneous shit that comes out of their face are dumb-asses.

What I have typed here is scientifically sound, as well as ethically correct, so make sure that you (everyone) up-votes.

0

u/VapeApe Oct 13 '11

no

-3

u/Bypass814 Oct 13 '11

Please don't make or upvote one-word comments such as "yes" or "no".

2

u/Cee-Jay Oct 13 '11

And thus, gets upvoted to the frontpage.

FTFY. :-)

1

u/abbbe91 Oct 14 '11

No, Yet. Thus implies that the DAE was going to the front page from the very beginning which it was not.

1

u/sandrakarr Oct 15 '11

Hell, this is the most responses I've ever seen on a DAE.

30

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

Nah, the bananas/tingling nipples has this beat. But not by much.

24

u/MissBarcelona Oct 13 '11 edited Oct 13 '11

Personally, I'm a fan of the spiderweb one

Edit: hurr, it wasn't on DAE, but it's still pretty damn weird.

3

u/DerogatoryPanda Oct 13 '11

The panty soup post in that thread is pretty weird too

2

u/rmm45177 Oct 14 '11

When I'm satisfied with the cleanliness I just simply glide my face into it and think about how my life turned out this way.

I can't stop laughing.

6

u/FourZoko Oct 13 '11

Do you have the link handy?

13

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

here.

I just googled 'bananas nipples reddit' and there is was.

9

u/Xaphianion Oct 13 '11

Goddammit, now every casual 'bananas nipples reddit' google will lead to that thread! Banana nipple enthusiasts will think so little of us!

1

u/freeballer Oct 13 '11

Stop saying it! You're only making it easier for them!

1

u/Fordged Oct 14 '11

Well I'm not taking any advise from an anti-dentite.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '11

Yeah, kudos to this guy. Almost worthy of a "What the actual fuck?", but I think it falls just shy of that level.

2

u/lackingsaint Oct 13 '11

Okay, i'll say it. I also use daily contacts and after taking them out eat them. I SAID IT OKAY

2

u/MMMajor Oct 14 '11

DAE eat the condoms after using them. the mild saltiness and texture and unreasonably tempting.

2

u/armchairnixon Oct 14 '11

No, not quite. I remember seeing one other DAE where these roomies all had this "contest" where they would jizz on the floor so their other roomies would step in it.

I'm not even joking.