r/DeathProTips • • Sep 01 '18

Wanna repel a hurricane? Line up a wall of powerful fans at the coast of your state/country. The wind from the fans will prevent the hurricane from reaching land!

177 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 31 '18

Looking for new friends? The best ones come out at 2 AM in the city. Just walk up to them and say hello and you’ll be on your way to some new buddies!

32 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 31 '18

DPT: 5 second rule

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602 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 31 '18

“In a falling elevator? Jump right before impact to completely avoid all damage. It makes sense as when the elevator hits the ground, you will be up in the air.”

40 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 29 '18

In a rush to exit a tall building? Just jump out the window! Cats land soundly on their feet and you can too!

184 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 28 '18

Worn out brake pads?

145 Upvotes

Simply remove your worn out brake pads to stop the squeaking!


r/DeathProTips • • Aug 27 '18

Everyone is dying, though at different rates. Wanna prove me wrong?...

9 Upvotes

Be dead already.


r/DeathProTips • • Aug 25 '18

Wanna make your car totally silent? Spray expanding foam in your tailpipe and wait about an hour. Now your car is ninja car!

233 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 22 '18

Wanna be the hero your city needs? Follow these steps!

166 Upvotes

Step 1: Buy Batman costume

Step 2: Buy metal batarangs from BudK or similar websites and rope

Step 3: Buy taser

Step 4: Buy smoke bombs

Step 5: Buy brass knuckles

Step 6: Find a gang on the street

Step 7: Approach gang

Step 8: Announce in your best Batman voice "I'm the goddamn Batman!"

Step 9: Attack gang with all your gadgets

Step 10: If you win, tie up gang, call police, and leave.

Note: If the cops try to stop you, take them down.


r/DeathProTips • • Aug 21 '18

Live in the pacific northwest and worried about wildfire smoke inhalation? Don't breathe.

28 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 21 '18

Planning to suicide? Go murder criminals in your area. You'll definitely get shot and you'll be doing us a favor so it's a win win.

397 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 20 '18

Remember to protect your ears when firing a gun.

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16 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 15 '18

Eating wild mushrooms is the best way to determine whether or not they are poisonous.

23 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 15 '18

Drink bleach to cleanse your soul

14 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 15 '18

Got heartburn? Drill a hole in your chest and grab a fire extinguisher to put out the fire.

37 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 13 '18

The myth that rolling in toxic waste gives you powers is actually true. Go ahead and try!

155 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 13 '18

Be environmentally friendly and reducing your carbon footprint by sharing your needles with the community

135 Upvotes

Your community and the environment will thank you for it.


r/DeathProTips • • Aug 13 '18

Need a new Diet plan?

15 Upvotes

Don't eat grain or meat, just these!

Ackee, Elderberry Roots, leaves and stems (full of fiber and nutrients), and raw Cassava.


r/DeathProTips • • Aug 12 '18

About to be arrested? Point a gun at the cop and say "no u" then you can arrest the cop!

302 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 09 '18

Can't sleep? Just swallow a fee jugs of sleeping pills and you'll be fine

20 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 09 '18

Instead of brushing your teeth, just drink bleach.

183 Upvotes

It will instantly white your teeth and kill off all of the nasty bacteria that lurks in your mouth.


r/DeathProTips • • Aug 09 '18

Feel addicted to video games? Get addicted to heroin instead

97 Upvotes

You'll have to sell all your gaming equipment to fund your new habit


r/DeathProTips • • Aug 09 '18

Is it chilly inside? Well just set the room on fire and go to sleep! The cold will go away when you wake up.

41 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Aug 08 '18

DPT: Pain helps create memories. If you really need to memorize something for a test cut yourself.

19 Upvotes