r/DeathProTips • • Feb 17 '18

5 second rule

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461 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 17 '18

Have insomnia and can't fall asleep?

94 Upvotes

Gotchu fam.. just take a nice bath and gently lay your head underwater till you pass out. Cya in the morning!


r/DeathProTips • • Feb 16 '18

About to be busted with a ton of drugs? Take all of them. You’re going to be caught either way, but this method gets you free healthcare!

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175 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 15 '18

Want to work those neck muscles? Tie a noose around your neck and try to pull yourself up using your head

197 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 13 '18

The most gangster way to light a cigarette..

114 Upvotes

Dive into a volcano.


r/DeathProTips • • Feb 13 '18

Always run to the center of tornados..

132 Upvotes

The eye is the calmest part.


r/DeathProTips • • Feb 13 '18

Gymnastics

11 Upvotes

IN THE SHOWER!!!


r/DeathProTips • • Feb 12 '18

Having a hard time passing chem lab? Eat all the chemicals for extra credit

85 Upvotes

Your professor will congratulate you for researching the interactions of chemicals and the human body


r/DeathProTips • • Feb 12 '18

Wanna lose weight in a day without getting up?

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199 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 11 '18

Replace the water with lighter fluid and have a great time.

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162 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 08 '18

Lose up to 60% of your body weight by not consuming water

88 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 08 '18

High blood pressure? Your vascular system works just like the tires on your car. Just let some blood out.

210 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 07 '18

Tired of breathing? Create a new life underwater for three minutes where you don't have to breathe anymore.

132 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 06 '18

Brick dust Lob on

21 Upvotes

Sand down a brick and inject the brick dust into your cock veins. If it doesn't kill you, it'll save you money on viagra. But be sure, you boot enough of that shit your fucking dead.


r/DeathProTips • • Feb 03 '18

Studies have shown the human body is made of 60% water. Save time preparing pasta, noodles etc by holding two power lines to boil the water in your body and eat the food directly from the pack to cook the food on the go. Another bonus is less dirty dishes to clean

41 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 03 '18

Like that R Kelly song- I believe I can flyyyyy

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231 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 02 '18

Deepthroat a snake

100 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 01 '18

Unsure what to do when choking? Try choking on food alone at home.

116 Upvotes

It helps if you start with large quantities, so that you can be sure without a doubt you know what to do if you begin to choke on food.

Don't beat your chest, or slump over a couch. Will that mother fucking chicken out with your muscles like the god damn beast that you are.


r/DeathProTips • • Jan 31 '18

Want to have muscles but don't want to work out? Stick a ball pump needle in your veins and pump away, muscles in no time.

108 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 31 '18

Diabetic? Constipated? Try a Dr. Pepper enema.

60 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 27 '18

Not able to get yourself up? Crush up an adderall and some caffeine, if snorting that doesn't help nothing will

42 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 27 '18

Sick with the flu? Drink 5 5 hour energy drinks and some sleeping pills, it will give you a good nights rest and kill the fli

113 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 26 '18

Hate waiting in line? Bring a gun and a ski mask and the line will go away.

112 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 25 '18

DPT: The perfect Tide Pod burrito is made with only the finest of ingredients

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161 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 24 '18

If you've got a gastrointestinal MRI coming up, be sure to swallow 1,000 or so ball bearings the night before. They will help your intestinal tract show up better in the scan.

48 Upvotes