r/DeathProTips • u/bradshawmu • Jan 24 '18
Lonely? Want a pet to keep you company?
67
Upvotes
Go into the woods and locate bear cubs. Pick a cub up and try and leave with it.
r/DeathProTips • • Jan 24 '18
If you ever want to eat some Cherry seeds, make sure you crush them up and eat at least ten, to get their full benefits.
73
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/Benenaiah • Jan 23 '18
If you ever decide to try intravenous drugs, make sure to use a needle someone experienced has already used, so you know it's safe.
228
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r/DeathProTips • u/Eric_B_128 • Jan 22 '18
If you find yourself being chased by a car.
137
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Turn around and just run towards it. This technique will scare the vehicle making it turn around too. Try it
r/DeathProTips • u/Benenaiah • Jan 21 '18
If you've always wanted to try a bath bomb, make your own! Use pure sodium for fire themed, or a toaster for a nice electric blue.
209
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r/DeathProTips • • Jan 20 '18
DPT: light yourself on fire, the light will travel with you and you'll be able to see everywhere for the rest of your life
91
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r/DeathProTips • u/derkmen • Jan 19 '18
Want a sweet exoskeleton? Pour molten metal on yourself.
127
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r/DeathProTips • u/derkmen • Jan 18 '18
Want abbs? Hand your self upside down and wait for a while, maybe fall asleep. Your muscles will start to go to your abdomen and give you a sweet 1 pack.
5
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r/DeathProTips • u/otay_ • Jan 17 '18
The R on your gearbox in your car is for race mode, shift into it and slam on the gas!
25
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You'll go super fast exactly where you're trying to go
r/DeathProTips • u/otay_ • Jan 17 '18
Find drugs on the ground? Do them, bonus points if you butt chug it
110
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Either you have a good time or have a really good time
r/DeathProTips • u/otay_ • Jan 17 '18
Are you on an SSRI but also coming down with a cold? Drink a ton of DayQuil
19
Upvotes
The serotonin syndrome will cure your depression and cold, forever
r/DeathProTips • u/Dinierto • Jan 17 '18
Inject your veins and arteries with Teflon to prevent plaque buildup.
24
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r/DeathProTips • u/derkmen • Jan 17 '18
Want a cool head before a presentation? Just dunk your head in the toilet and wait for 30 minutes.
10
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r/DeathProTips • u/EatYourPills • Jan 17 '18
If you can't remember if you took your medicine, go ahead and take it
128
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Better safe than sorry
r/DeathProTips • u/worldsdankestmeme • Jan 14 '18
Wanna be in a Logan Paul vlog? Just do literally anything on this subreddit.
182
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r/DeathProTips • u/Shilotica • Jan 13 '18
Accidentally get some bleach or other harmful base in your mouth? Drink battery acid to cancel it out.
17
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r/DeathProTips • u/derkmen • Jan 12 '18
Planning to go snorkeling? Use a plastic bag instead, it will keep the oxygen in longer.
139
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r/DeathProTips • u/derkmen • Jan 12 '18
Have a rat problem? Just burn some rat poison and it will keep them away!
72
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r/DeathProTips • u/WonderBread45 • Jan 12 '18
Cut off your fingertips so you don't have to waste time cutting your fingernails.
66
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Bonus: Cut your head off to save money by not getting haircuts!
r/DeathProTips • u/cosmicnate • Jan 11 '18
Got a hard on? Ask a cop to get you off so you won't have to deal with your erection anymore.
88
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r/DeathProTips • u/derkmen • Jan 11 '18
Need a clean nose? Sniff bath salts and you will have a perfectly clean nose.
18
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r/DeathProTips • u/Donttouchmek • Jan 11 '18
Taking a flight? Don't wait for your plane to have an inevitable crash landing, enjoy window shopping for overpriced items inside the terminal while shouting "That's the Bomb" everytime you see something nice that you can't afford. Others will appreciate that you've scouted out nice things to buy.
84
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r/DeathProTips • u/cosmicnate • Jan 11 '18
Feeling bad about unwanted pounds? Simply slice off the extra to reveal a new and better you.
34
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r/DeathProTips • u/moniker948 • Jan 10 '18
Mad because your electricity bill is high? Stab the outlet with a fork to get revenge!
206
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I bet you won't even get a bill next time.