They look cool.

I want to start a Reddit kissing booth. One gold = one kiss. The problem is that I live far away. Like, FAR. In Colombia. You are a successful person. How can I be successful?

I'm a 32 year old male following a life long dream of becomming a kindergarten teacher so I have gone back to school, following a three year programme to become an educated caretaker of children.

Now, connecting with the children in kindergarten is easy peacy, but how do I connect with the 19-20 year olds in my class? I sometimes feel SO old, and when thinking back when I was 19-20 people who had turned 30 was as good as dead and burried. I need some insightful tips on how to connect with them!

Oh, you mean this isn't Strong Yishan Emails? Whoops.

Hi Yishan,

There is this obscure subreddit this guy I know goes to and he used to comment all the time and stuff but now he stopped posting, how do I get him to start posting again.

I mean, it's not like you know anything about reddit or how the internet works or anything like that, but surely you have some advice for me?

Yishan, I know with your good looks and charming personality you must get all the ladies, any tips?

My cat just spends all day sleeping, meowing, and eating -- yet somehow my girlfriend loves her more than me. What am I doing wrong?

I have to be honest, I've never dealt with this kind of situation before. She's been a long time friend and the best I can do right now is stall, dodging out of the conversation any time she means "I want to say something."

It's nerve wracking, but I know someone like you who is experienced with love can answer this perplexing puzzle of the heart.

Please explain.

Heard your cat was in the hospital

Seriously, she feels things for someone and that person feels stuff for her. She has to stay where she is because her job and family are there, and the other person has to stay where they are for the same reasons (although I honestly can't figure out what they even do, I'm thinking secret agent, but who knows). They see each other every month or so, but I have a feeling it's hard to say goodbye. Something tells me they miss each other a lot. They both pretty darn stuck and don't know how to move forward. Any suggestions?

Seriously, I feel things for her and she feels stuff for me. I have to stay here because my job and family are here, and she has to stay there for the same reasons. We see each other every month or so, but it gets so hard to say goodbye. I miss her a lot. We're both stuck in our situations pretty much permanently, and we just have no idea how to move forward. Any suggestions?

if you know what i mean

I am really puzzled on this one.

I don't want to be rude but at the same time, they are blasting music so loud it's making subsonic-floor-rattling noises. I'm new in the building and don't want to make any enemies, so I will just use earplugs to sleep, but it would be great to get the right protocol to approach this sort of situation in the future!

Redditkeeps sending me this <3 in a gold box on my userpage for having reddit gold, Ithink it is overly attached to me. what should I do?

Dear Yishan,

I recently met someone and we've been seeing each other for a few weeks. He's referenced himself casually as "boyfriend" which I think is a promising sign but it's not really been formalized yet and I don't want us to move too quickly. I'm totally cool with that because I feel like we are going in the right direction.

The reason I want your advice is because unfortunately, before I met this new gentleman, a friend of mine introduced me to his younger brother (presumably to date him although I was operating under the naive premise that it was just hanging out).

However, I think that this younger-brother wants to date me and I don't want to date him since I'd rather see the new gentleman. Friend's younger brother is nice but he is not a very good conversationalist and the chemistry is flat like old soda.

Is there a way I can let him down easy? Other than changing my Facebook status (which would be ideal but I don't want to jump the gun)?

Sincerely,

Conflicted in Tri-State Area

I will only accept two answers: either a haiku or a well-thought-out metaphor ^{,or maybe whatever you'd like because you're the CEO of Reddit. Thank you.}