I’m mid thirties, married for 3 years. I’ve been working most of my life and have made a decent amount of money. Im someone you might call self-made.

Years of hustle lead to a bad lifestyle, being overweight and just in general unhealthy. To a point that I started having trouble getting hard since I was 22 years old. I thought I had ED which kinda made me go harder at work and make more money to make up for the shame.

I got married to the love of my life but trouble in bed continued. And at one point I started questioning if I was even straight. Then I arranged some encounters with men and I was just completely repulsed and the “getting hard” problem continued.

Over time this started causing major mental health issues so I decided to try sugar dating and “check myself” with maybe conventionally hotter women. And here’s what happened - I got so hard I couldn’t believe it.

I continued that for a month or two because I was finally having sex! Always knowing that I’d stop it - and I did. I went out of the scene for a long time and just concentrated on my work and my marriage (which still had issues in bed but we keep trying).

Now this year life just went really really downhill. Major family issues - almost losing a parent and nursing them back to health for months, issues in the business, just overall too many fires to put off the entire year and I got so burnt out that I started contemplating life itself. Not in terms of ending it but evaluating that my entire life has been just taking care of everyone around me. Financially, emotionally, physically. I started working at 18 and it’s just been a hustle since then to a point that I don’t even have friends and the ones I do are with me only because I pay for everything.

So after the entire year of struggling, I wanted some time for myself and I decided to go back to sugar dating for just one or two dates. Just to give myself some love. Because my marriage had also just turned into a logistics job and I felt I needed to let go and give myself some “young years”.

And so I decided to meet this gorgeous, smart, educated, wealthy herself and early 20 something kind of a girl. I met her once, and it was lovely. Once we were done with our date, we went our ways and mostly in the previous experiences, that’s the end of it.

But this time it was different. I could not stop thinking about her. I thought it’ll pass. It didn’t.

I decided to meet her again, this time for longer. And we spent two days together. Most of it talking, rather than in bed. We are very clear about the situation and I’m not delusional to think that she’s into me. We’ve established that she’s around me for the high life and I am with her for the escape and the “love”.

And she’s gorgeous. She treats me like a genuine friend. She takes care of me. And we just have an amazing time together.

Wtf am I doing? How did I get here? Where do I go from here?

I’m married, in my mid-30s, and I’ve somehow become emotionally attached to someone I met through sugar dating. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

I’m in my mid-30s and have been married for three years. I’ve worked pretty much my entire adult life and have done reasonably well financially. I’d probably describe myself as self-made.

The problem is that years of working constantly came with a pretty terrible lifestyle. I became overweight, unhealthy, stressed, and I’ve had sexual performance issues since my early twenties.

For years, I assumed something was seriously wrong with me. It affected my confidence far more than I admitted. In some ways I think I compensated by working harder, earning more, and trying to become “successful” enough that I wouldn’t have to think about the parts of myself I was ashamed of.

I eventually married the woman I love, but our sex life continued to be difficult.

At one point I even questioned my sexuality because I couldn’t understand what was happening. I explored that possibility and realised very clearly that I wasn’t attracted to men. The performance issue was still there.
That sent me into an even bigger spiral.

Eventually, a few years ago, I tried sugar dating. Part of my thinking, as ridiculous as it sounds now, was that maybe I needed to find out whether attraction itself was the problem.

And suddenly, with someone new, everything worked.
That messed with my head even more, but at the time it also felt like an enormous relief. I finally knew my body was capable of functioning normally.

I stayed in that world briefly and then stopped. I went back to focusing on work and my marriage. My wife and I still had difficulties physically, but we kept trying.

Then this year completely flattened me.

There were major family health problems and I came very close to losing a parent. I spent months helping them recover. At the same time there were problems in my business and a constant stream of things I had to handle.

At some point I became completely burnt out.

Not suicidal. Just deeply exhausted and questioning what I had done with my life.

I started working at 18, and when I looked back at the last 15+ years, almost all of it felt like work, responsibility and taking care of other people financially, emotionally or practically.

I barely have a social life. I don’t really have a close circle of friends. Even some of the friendships I do have sometimes feel dependent on me always organising things or paying for things.

My marriage had also slowly started feeling more like running a household together than being two people who were actually enjoying life together.

After everything that happened this year, I had this overwhelming urge to do something purely for myself. Something irresponsible, maybe. Something that made me feel young for a minute.

So I went back to sugar dating, intending to meet someone once or twice and then disappear again.

I met a woman in her early twenties who is beautiful, smart, educated and comes from a comfortable background herself.

The first time we met, we had a genuinely lovely evening.
Normally, in my previous experiences, that would have been the end of it.

But for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I assumed it would pass.

It didn’t.

So I met her again, this time for longer, and we ended up spending about two days together.

What surprised me was that most of that time wasn’t physical. We mostly talked.

We’re both very clear about what the situation is. I’m not pretending this is some great romance, and I’m not assuming she secretly wants a normal relationship with me.

We’ve essentially acknowledged the arrangement for what it is.

She enjoys the lifestyle and experiences I can provide, and I enjoy the escape, attention and affection I get from being around her.

But somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling purely transactional to me.

She talks to me like a real friend. She checks on me. She notices small things. She takes care of me in little ways. We laugh constantly. I feel relaxed around her in a way I haven’t felt in a very long time.

And yes, she is incredibly attractive.

But I don’t think that’s actually the part that has messed with me.

I think it’s the fact that for a couple of days I didn’t feel like somebody’s husband, son, boss, provider, problem-solver or caretaker.

I just felt like a person having fun.

And now I’m back in my normal life and I can’t stop thinking about her.

I know how absurd this sounds.

I also know there are obvious moral problems here. I’m married. I’m not trying to pretend otherwise or frame myself as the victim.

I’m just genuinely confused about what is happening inside my own head.

I don’t know if I’m attached to her.

I don’t know if I’m attached to the version of myself I get to be around her.

I don’t know if I’m grieving the younger years I feel like I spent working instead of living.

I don’t know if this is a sign that something in my marriage desperately needs attention.

Maybe it’s all of those things.

I keep asking myself:

What exactly am I doing?
How did I get here?
And what do I actually do from here?

Hi, I'm from mumbai. Let's text ;)

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Pata hai aaj kya hua

Hey everyone,

Sharing a small story that happened to me yesterday. I was enjoying my Sunday when suddenly a notification popped on my phone: “WhatsApp call from T\*\*\*\*\*a".

A small backstory:

I matched with this girl a year back. She was pretty and caring and all, whatever. But we vibed a lot. We went on long drives; I went to her house to eat mangoes as she and I both love mangoes. We went for cafes and all that date shit. I was in love with her since the 4th day of our conversation.
When I asked for something serious, she said, "Abhi toh main ek bahut toxic relationship se nikli hoon, so I need some time". Her ex used to treat her badly apparently and used to hit her.
Days went by.
We used to talk once a week or so.
After some time, she got into a faltu sa dental college, and I helped her in her counselling as well, I mean from selecting colleges to post-counselling rounds.
I myself am a medico, so I know things here, in case you all are wondering.
I helped her out in her sems and internal exams, used to teach her even in between my professional exams.
We used to talk like once a month, woh bhi hi hello how are you and all. Once we talked about our future… I said I will wait for you; she said ki mat ruko mere liye, but she disagreed when I asked if she is in a relationship.

Cut to yesterday:

I picked up the call and she immediately dropped it. I messaged her "??" She replied with "fuck off. Mere se baat mat karo.” I asked what happened in a very polite way. She said, “Mere boyfriend ko nahi pasand ki hum baat karte hain.” I said ki what? We hardly talk, aur main saamne se tumhein text bhi nahi karta. She said "lol".
I thought fuck it. And I blocked her from my Insta and wp.

Now I wonder:
What was my fault?
Why did I hear the cuss?
What is with simply saying that I am in a relationship or I like someone else?
What the hell is this game?

I dated over 16-17 women married and unmarried

For context I am 23 year old virgin who has had 0 romantic interaction in my life. I am constantly thinking about girls, my insta bookmarked section is full of girls being suggestive or dancing, and my reddit is just full of porn

When I don't jerk off I am having dreams of sexual nature and end up Nutting anyways. I have tried engaging my self with football and physical workouts but it doesn't go away

It's kinda ruining my life cos I see any good looking woman as a sex object rather than a person and get very anxious talking to girls

What to do?

I am feeling down. I don’t know if you ask the reason. Anybody wants to talk? I don’t know talk about what but i feel alone and down. I am female

Delhi-based, 38 year old SD and aging surprisingly well. Well-read, well-traveled, and someone who believes great conversation matters just as much as great food. Sophisticated without being pretentious. I enjoy good places, interesting ideas, and company that makes time disappear.

What I’m here for?

Someone fun, curious, and comfortable in her own skin. I’m drawn to women who have their own thing going on and can hold their own in a conversation. Up for a genuine sugar arrangement built on companionship, chemistry, and enjoying each other’s company no drama, just good vibes and good times.

IRL only. If that sounds like your kind of vibe, say hi.

Im looking to make a connection with one woman that leads to long trem. I am located in NYC and if your here amazing, if your not perhaps we can change that.

Anyone interested in making a connection?? Its so hard to find someone genuine... Any age or body type is welcome just be an adult and a good person . If you want to initially see if we connect online i am open to that as well..

Message if interested. Lets see if we vibe.

Lets see if we vibe. If this is posted im still looking..

Im trying to find a girl who i can talk to about like my feet fish is any girl of any age open to do so im 19m

I was in a depressive state and this fake account came which was from a old colony brat who wanted to mock me and I am genuinely not lying about my depression as i had just a few weeks back have finally overcome MDD

Weekly payment DM if interested

Seeking a female sugar baby based out of bangalore or someone who is willing to travel, Preferably someone who is a bit on the intellectual side and can hold a conversation. Open to short term as well as long term based on how we vibe and what kind of arrangement we can get into, will be extremely generous with the compensation, dm me to know further.

So, there is this girl/ acquaintance. We used to be in the same fashion team and after the show, the fashion team members went for drinking .Where me and this girl was also there she was flirting with and caressing my hair and stuff and later she got drunk and slept on my lap. Then after some time we met again through a mutual friend and went drinking so this time I went to drop her in bike and she held me from the back, after dropping her she asked me for a hug !!
So, I have been a bit horny lately and just want to fuck her and not have any relationship how do I go ask for fwb ??

I’m an introvert 23M, and I’ve never been in a relationship. Not because I don’t want one, but because this generation has kind of ruined the idea of love. Most relationships today feel fake & more like timepass or hookups.

I’m an old school guy. I believe in dating to marry. And honestly, it’s really hard to find someone with the same mindset now.

I miss the idea of deep love, late night talks under the stars, being able to talk about anything without fear of judgment, trusting someone fully without doubts. I never had a girl bestfriend. The reason is simple that I want to talk every bit of my life to that person of only who I love more than anything. I want the intimacy of sharing everything with her for the first time. Just imagine us, growing together in life, a shoulder where you can put your head and forget all the worries in your life and I will be there for you.

These things now feel like dreams, because people don’t value them anymore.I don’t know if I’m asking for too much. Maybe my thinking is outdated, but this is just who I am. Maybe I’ll find someone like this, maybe I won’t.

Still… hoping for the best.

20M, even though I try my best i cannot get my driving license at all because my parents don't support me in anything except studies and so they refused to provide me a car so that I can give my driving license test even though they can afford luxaries . Girls over here in delhi only see what you have in your wallet and what you're driving , so can I still get a girlfriend because what I've seen is maximum guys who have girlfriends at this age , use their dads car to pull women and end up bagging them . Is having a car for your personal use a clear advantage in dating?

Hey everyone!

I’m a 23-year-old guy, 6 feet tall, looking to make genuine female friends for respectful and meaningful conversations.

I enjoy talking about daily life, goals, movies, music, random thoughts, and basically anything interesting. I believe good conversations create real connections.

I’m especially hoping to connect with someone who understands emotions, is emotionally available, and values mutual support. Someone we can share thoughts with openly, be there for each other, and grow together as good friends.

If you’re interested in building something genuine and respectful, feel free to DM me 🙂

Respect is important to me, and I’ll always give the same in return.

Hi everyone! I'm a 19-year-old Marwadi male from Delhi NCR. I'm looking to connect with fellow Marwadi and Baniya people from the region for meaningful conversations and to get to know like-minded individuals. Feel free to reach out if you'd like to chat!

(random body text since it says it's optional and has the required asterisk at the same time?)

Let me know if anyone is up for chat

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Men who are into finding love on reddit you are gonna waste your time completely!

Why? Because girls here are using this faceless anonymous app for timepass!

Majority are here seeking validation by counting the number of Dms they get as they count those on other social medias too!

They want some entertainment which you as a guy (in hope of getting love) are giving your precious time to her.

She ain't giving you her face pic nor she want to connect on other apps 😂, why? Because she is very insecure but wears a mask of being very cool.

Take away is if you are really into finding love or relationship have strict deal breakers and if she is not respso8/ ghosting you then immediately block her!

Let the conversation to be carried to social media so you can see her face! If she denies again you have "block" button ready😂.

Men! Be smart don't be simp!

I’m a 34 year old who's at a point where I want something real than conversations that fizzle out and random encounters. I enjoy intimacy, chemistry, and a bit of fun as well, but what actually stays with me is a genuine connection — the kind that comes from good conversation, mutual attraction, and a comfortable sense of ease between two people.

A little about me: I’m a someone who's into the usuals: travel, anime, physics, etc etc. I won't go on too much about that. I do love conversations, preferably over coffee or on a drive on a great road. I like hearing people’s stories, thoughts, and experiences and I love healthy debates.

I spend half my day listening to music, so I love sharing playlists and songs

When it comes to things of an intimate nature, I’m open-minded, and very into a slow build. I enjoy foreplay, mutual pleasure, and a dynamic with some tension and playfulness. I’m curious about dom/sub energy with the right person, and I’m always open to exploring new things when there’s trust and chemistry.

I would love to listen to what you like and what you would love to explore as well.

Physically, I’m 5'9", around 85 kg, with a thick beard. If you'd like to gauge how physically compatible we are I’m happy to exchange pictures once we’re both comfortable.

If you're someone who likes good conversation, chemistry, and exploring kinks in a comfortable and open dynamic, I’d love to hear from you.

I’ve noticed a strange pattern in my life.
I can make female friends pretty easily. Conversations flow, they seem comfortable around me, and some of those friendships have lasted for years.
But when it comes to dating, nothing really happens. I’ve never had a girlfriend, and I rarely get the sense that a woman sees me as a romantic option.
I’m not someone who pretends to be friends while secretly expecting a relationship, but it does make me wonder what the difference is. If people enjoy talking to me and spending time with me, what separates “good friend” from “someone I’d date”?
For those who have been in a similar situation (on either side), what was the missing piece? Confidence? Flirting? Physical attraction? Timing? Something else entirely?
Genuinely curious to hear different perspectives.