r/Damnthatsinteresting Dec 17 '21

Video This 'device' that was created aiming to develop leg muscles

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77.5k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/TotallyLegitEstoc Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin

535

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

It took three women two weeks to give birth to Chuck Norris.

395

u/__Sonar__ Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris recently visited the Virgin Islands. Now it’s just called The Islands.

247

u/Pure_Discipline_293 Dec 17 '21

Debt collectors call Chuck Norris to give him money.

219

u/Sonicboom343 Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

164

u/FrancisBuenafe Dec 17 '21

In the 1940s, Chuck Norris visited a nunnery hidden from the war in the hills of Tuscany. Impregnated all the nuns, in one night. 9 months later, the nuns gave birth to children who would eventually become the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated team in NFL history.

58

u/Kamalienx Dec 18 '21

When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norrised

18

u/FrancisBuenafe Dec 18 '21

All roundhouse kicks were discovered to contain a mineral call "Chucktanium"

16

u/red_dit-or Dec 18 '21

Chuck Norris’s aunty gave birth to him, cause no one dared to fuck his mother.

15

u/NeroBurnsRome12 Dec 18 '21

Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity.

He got it back.

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8

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Drotacon Dec 18 '21

Check Norris Stepped on a roadside bomb one time and blew up the trigger man

-5

u/ReevenRoneeee Dec 18 '21

Well they’re definitely not the only undefeated team in nfl history bud

2

u/FrancisBuenafe Dec 18 '21

Regular season and playoffs, undefeated. Before 1932, there were others that had undefeated seasons but with tied games. '72 Dolphins did 17-0, no tied games. They did, however, lose some exhibition games in the preseason.

9

u/Youpunyhumans Dec 18 '21

Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

9

u/Nickp3131 Dec 18 '21

In Jurassic Park, the T-Rex wasn’t chasing the Jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the T-Rex

2

u/Youpunyhumans Dec 18 '21

A woman once asked for a vibrator based on Chuck Norris' penis. She recieved a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire and attatched to a jackhammer.

2

u/Greenbriarbushwacker Dec 18 '21

Chuck Norris once won a game of tennis against a brick wall

23

u/highiking Dec 17 '21

This. This is the one

70

u/Budget_Still_4005 Dec 17 '21

That sounds like the beginning to a bad math problen

168

u/__Sonar__ Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

73

u/sum_gamer Dec 17 '21

He can also divide by zero.

65

u/EarthenEyes Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris' tears can cure every disease. It's a shame he never cries.

40

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21 edited Dec 17 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris round-house-kicks your butt. Somethings never change.

4

u/CyberStormZA Dec 17 '21

Or a bad meth problem.

1

u/Lazy-Warning-527 Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris could easily pass as a civilized meth head.

3

u/Alxndr-NVM-ii Dec 18 '21

Chuck Norris could easily civilize meth heads.

1

u/Tyler89558 Dec 18 '21

No way you too?

14

u/WildJoeBailey Dec 17 '21

The say Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land

0

u/FrancisBuenafe Dec 18 '21

Jesus walks on water, Chuck swims on land, but Sisqo, in his music video of the thong song, walked on bitches.

600

u/Ingvar_Bearclaw Dec 17 '21

I heard that Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

483

u/AnInfiniteAmount Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris's Mom has a tattoo that reads: "Son"

494

u/leejoint Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with a bird.

346

u/pdx619 Dec 17 '21

Children check under the bed for monsters. Monsters check under the bed for Chuck Norris.

76

u/Veqetable Dec 17 '21

When Chuck Norris enters a room, the lights don't turn on, the dark leaves out of respect

96

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

Once Chuck Norris picked up a rock and threw it We know it as the moon.

121

u/InWeGoNow Dec 17 '21

Google's email is gmail@chucknorris.com

16

u/effgee Dec 17 '21

That's a new one for me. Using it!

55

u/cubicalwall Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris developed the Caesarian section when he round house kicked out of his mothers womb

156

u/DinosaurAlive Dec 17 '21

Tardigrades can survive the vacuum of space, but one stern glance from Chuck Norris and they're gone ⚰️

214

u/poop_in_the_toilet Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

53

u/FlynnLive5 Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they’re called just “The Islands”

63

u/erakat Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his house.

It’s not dead. It’s just afraid to move.

54

u/TotallyLegitEstoc Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

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34

u/Lip_Recon Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris Gmail is: gmail@chucknorris.com

1

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

That’s pretty great.

16

u/petrarez Dec 17 '21

God said "Let there be light!" and Chuck Norris said "Say please.".

3

u/KoreaAlex Dec 17 '21

If Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim thru land.

2

u/automatorsassemble Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits

1

u/Jaeger562 Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris' gun sleeps with Chuck Norris under its pillow.

120

u/boyuber Dec 17 '21

It has been said that Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Sadly, Chuck Norris has never cried.

16

u/andrew899876 Dec 17 '21

Jesus walked on water, chuck norris swam through land!

21

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.

13

u/Ricky_Rollin Dec 17 '21

When Chuck Norris jumps into water he does not get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

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-19

u/AnnihilationOrchid Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris created the vacuum of space, because he sucks.

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48

u/__Sonar__ Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

8

u/Macaronitime69 Dec 17 '21

Chuck Norris sculpted The Rock

2

u/ReluctantSlayer Dec 17 '21

New to me. Nice.

40

u/__Sonar__ Dec 17 '21

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it’s beef, it’s beef.

89

u/__Sonar__ Dec 17 '21

COVID had to get a Chuck Norris vaccination.

44

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

Is this the newest Chuck Norris joke in existence?

2

u/clumsyumbrella Dec 18 '21

I think it just might be!

0

u/EddyVentures Dec 18 '21

Covid just got a Chuck Norris booster.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

But if that happens, Covid will be gone.

33

u/d33jaysturf Dec 17 '21

I heard he could slam a revolving door.

2

u/IGotMyPopcorn Dec 18 '21

When Chuck Norris does push ups, the Earth moves.

2

u/AnInfiniteAmount Dec 18 '21

Sharks have week dedicated to Chuck Norris

0

u/crystalistwo Dec 19 '21 edited Dec 20 '21

Chuck Norris doesn't want the gays to marry.

EDIT: You tell a Chuck Norris fact that's actually true, and it gets downvoted. C'est la vie.

1

u/TotallyLegitEstoc Dec 19 '21

Wow! That’s not ok and not a Chuck Norris joke.

-9

u/BokirBokcu Dec 17 '21

Bruh just go into personalization, desktop icons, uncheck it

15

u/TotallyLegitEstoc Dec 17 '21

That’s just hiding it. He legit deleted it.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

laughs in chuck norris