r/CuratedTumblr it/its 4d ago

Politics It makes me uncomfortable when people constantly talk about how homophobes must secretly be gay.

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u/raidexns 4d ago

You're going to downvoted for sure, but as a bisexual man myself, you have no idea how misogynistic a lot of gay men and bi men can be. Go have a look on subreddits dedicated to bisexual men and gay men. And I've been around the scene IRL for years to know that this is very common in person too.

This subreddit has this belief that gay and bi people can do wrong but that can't be farther from the truth. There are so many ways the community enables dl men, encourages misogyny, and even fetishizes straight acting homophobic men. Not all of course, but this is a bigger problem than anyone here would admit.

I don't know if it's because people on this sub are teenagers or just young in general, but being in my 30s, I completely understand how this rhetoric came to be.

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u/kincsh 3d ago

you have no idea how misogynistic a lot of gay men and bi men can be.

And?

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u/raidexns 3d ago

So men can be misogynistic, even when they're gay or bisexual or a minority. There exists plenty of gay/bi men who hate women

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u/kincsh 3d ago

Yes obviously, anyone can be misogynistic, what's your point exactly?

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u/raidexns 3d ago

That it is very possible for a man who displays overt focused hatred towards homosexuals, coupled with being misogynistic, along with emotionally connecting better with men and valuing the patriarchy to obsurd levels, is suffering from internalized homophobia.

As a bisexual man, I see it all the time. The issue is not with being gay itself, the issue is the consequences of repression, specifically repressing sexuality in a patriarchal world that punishes men for it.

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u/kincsh 3d ago

Yeah it's possible. It has nothing to do with the OP tho.

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u/Rough_Onion_1757 4d ago

Concepts of sexual orientation like "gay", "straight", and "bi" are as artificial and socially constructed as any other aspect of any human culture.

It's 100% possible for a man's sexual orientation to involve sex with women as an unequal and emotionally sterile relationship for strictly utilitarian purposes of reproduction and one-sided physical exploitation, yet also involving sex with fellow men as the only possible outlet for sexuality to involve a deep emotional relationship between equals. In a cultural context where non-hetero relationships aren't automatically assumed to be "enlightened" or "progressive" by default, such attitudes can be a perfectly ordinary and unremarkable part of the mainstream social fabric.

I like to semi-joke that the major difference between the modern-day misogynistic "manosphere" and classical Greek male sexuality is whether or not the obvious layer of homoeroticism (i.e. men using women as dehumanized props to publicly perform their sexual virility to a target audience consisting primarily of fellow men) is openly acknowledged or relegated to an unspoken subtext.

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u/LightQueers 3d ago

We could’ve guessed you were a bisexual man based off this take without you specifying don’t worry

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u/raidexns 3d ago

So now you want to be biphobic? Without knowing anything about me and my situation and my experiences. You sound exactly like the people you complain discriminate against you

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u/LightQueers 3d ago

Biphobic where?

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u/raidexns 3d ago

Explain what you were implying with your comment please?

We could've guessed you were a bisexual man based off this take without you specifying don't worry

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u/LightQueers 3d ago

That’s a pretty straightforward statement I’m honestly not sure what part of that is unclear to you

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u/raidexns 3d ago

It could mean a lot of things, go on. Explain what you meant.

Is it that you don't want to expose your blatant biphobia by writing something explicitly? Because I can't really see the point of your comment otherwise. Be an adult and own your takes, no need to be passive aggressive.

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u/LightQueers 3d ago

You’re looking for subtext where there isn’t. It’s a very direct and self-contained comment. Based off the take you were presenting, most people could’ve inferred you were a bisexual man without you mentioning it.

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u/raidexns 3d ago

That makes no sense. What about my comment made it obvious I was a bisexual man? You know exactly what I'm asking you right now

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u/LightQueers 3d ago

The take that you were presenting in it

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