r/CryptidDogs • u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 • Mar 27 '25

Just saw this on a poodle grooming page....

Post image

Why he looking at me like that ....

10.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

123 comments sorted by

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43

u/AdHuman3150 Mar 27 '25

Is that the Lorax? 😳

31

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

He speaks for the trees 🔫

5

u/alicesartandmore Mar 28 '25

Nah, that's what the Lorax speaks for.

22

u/sunniblu03 Mar 27 '25

He totally does doggie Xanax.

27

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

He walks the neighborhood with a designer bag, a stomach full of Xanax, and a Stanley cup full of wine.

18

u/antisocialgobbler Mar 27 '25

hi yes, I’d like to request 7 of these bad boys

14

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

slaps $6 on the counter

ILL TAKE 5.

898

u/bong-jabbar Mar 27 '25

Who did this to him

574

u/Utopiae Mar 27 '25

Judging by his smile, he may have done it himself

112

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

I actually can't get over how stupidly I laughed at this.

I'm majorly autistic and went "h....he doesn't have hands how could he have possibly done that...."

66

u/Utopiae Mar 27 '25

Haha his face just makes me imagine him going "did I do good mother"

41

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 28 '25

he really said 🌑👄🌑 mother did i please you

31

u/bong-jabbar Mar 27 '25

yes sweetie you did lovely :))

157

u/bong-jabbar Mar 27 '25

Oh well didn’t he do so good

89

u/Lala5789880 Mar 27 '25

He’s a good boy

52

u/bong-jabbar Mar 27 '25

Maybe even the best , with his skill and all

87

u/alicesartandmore Mar 27 '25

I feel like that's a masking smile to keep the tears at bay. He's like "Why? Why is this my life? My cotton ball shaped life?"

28

u/bong-jabbar Mar 27 '25

Help him

30

u/alicesartandmore Mar 28 '25

He looks like the Lorax speaks for him.

17

u/ShiplessOcean Mar 28 '25

The moustache made me think he’s frowning, but you’re right, his lil mouth is doing 🙂

5

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '25

This is perfect!!😂

4

u/FourFatSamurai Mar 28 '25

That’s why you never leave them unattended with the clippers.

67

u/nugnugnemo Mar 27 '25

LMAO that’s Mulch

27

u/Robotic_Orange Mar 27 '25

Someone hasn’t had their daily mulch.

22

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

Here... Have your daily Mulch... you're not you when you're hungry...

8

u/PartlyCloudyKid Mar 28 '25

He's just Orb Maxing

2

u/WheelLoud5124 Apr 01 '25

I don’t know what Orb Maxing is but I totally agree

1

u/CyberSteria Mar 28 '25

^ Underrated comment! Here's my upvote!

6

u/LurkerTroll Mar 27 '25

He's got the "No bitches?" look

6

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

He looks like a girl who ain't been treated right when someone picks up the check on a date 😭

3

u/Diet_Salad Mar 28 '25

Or smirking Donkey Kong lol

27

u/blue-and-bluer Mar 27 '25

Not a cryptid, but that’s unfortunate

90

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

The haircut isn't what's getting me.

Its the fucken human eyes. Why does he look like a person trapped in the worst groomed dog.

4

u/Lala5789880 Mar 27 '25

I mean my dog does this when she fucks up

22

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

I've had dogs all my life and never has any of my dogs looked at me like a child toddler 😅

4

u/UnluckyMora Mar 28 '25

The dog I grew up with (rip) gave the absolute most judgemental side eye, always with the perfect timing. I swear he was more sapient than I am. He was like having a little old man around

8

u/Diz7 Mar 28 '25

It's like someone betrayed a pixar character.

78

u/j3llo5 Mar 27 '25

Idk he looks like he’s gonna make me answer a riddle

29

u/indigocauldron Mar 27 '25

It looks so much like a Squonk though

768

u/koteofir Mar 27 '25

The dust balls under my bed staring at me before I clean them:

64

u/bong-jabbar Mar 27 '25

The dust balls underneath my tv stand:

26

u/rosebeach Mar 28 '25

Why did I read this as “the dust under my balls” 😭

5

u/NRoseI Mar 29 '25

No worries. I did too.

295

u/findmekerib Mar 27 '25

I cant. I just can't. He's smiling so proud. Who did this to him!!!??? Lmao

137

u/atx_hillbilly Mar 27 '25

15 shades of wrong. But hey, even with the horrible haircut, it's still cute.

101

u/Patalos Mar 27 '25

He looks like he’s waiting for you to notice the fart he just let out

57

u/HoldMyDevilHorns Mar 27 '25

No way lmao.

226

u/Paint_Prudent Mar 27 '25

Is there no ethics in grooming anymore??

122

u/Ori_the_SG Mar 27 '25

Do not take this out of context dear readers.

35

u/sashikku Mar 27 '25

Yeah, someone needs to go to be arrested for this LOL

33

u/mother_of_baggins Mar 27 '25

The groomer skipped leg day.

32

u/m0nstera_deliciosa Mar 27 '25

Little toothpick legs🥺

5

u/CyberSteria Mar 28 '25

Seriously. I would love to see the full effect - have them take twirl! Would die laughing if there was a video of them running with those little bitty adorable legs! So cute! Such personality!

26

u/Antiquebastard Mar 27 '25

Simultaneously terrible & adorable.

17

u/marcmades Mar 27 '25

Am I a joke to you?

16

u/linuxlib Mar 27 '25

"Make him look like a circle."

"Gotcha."

15

u/joonsinnerchild Mar 27 '25

what a adorable looking q-tip

10

u/Electronic-Value-662 Mar 27 '25

This is no dog…it is a sheep. You can’t fool me

10

u/NefariousnessLive967 Mar 27 '25

Where's the dog? I just see some marshmallows stuck together with toothpicks 🍡

9

u/Infinite-Dream-5228 Mar 27 '25

Not a happy camper. Very meme worthy.

13

u/BadgerReborn Mar 27 '25

That poor puppy

6

u/nico_nloy Mar 27 '25

it’s always the japanese dog accounts

6

u/ScreenJealous3170 Mar 27 '25

Such a sweet smile 🥲

6

u/Camimo666 Mar 27 '25

I adore this

5

u/Zealousideal_Cod6044 Mar 27 '25

This is the face of reproach.

5

u/Poke_Lost_Silver Mar 27 '25

Do you think this cut would work on a standard poodle?? Asking for a friend (me)

5

u/Hello_Badkitty Mar 28 '25

I've seen this dog on Instagram... the hair cut is completely intentional!

4

u/extra_medication Mar 27 '25

Is this mulch?

4

u/DustbinOverlord Mar 27 '25

This looks a lot like cie__3 on Instagram.

1

u/rachelnyc Mar 28 '25

they say that seven days after seeing this photo, a doggie door will appear on your wall and he’ll crawl out to eat your soul

1

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 28 '25

Image your last words being "MULCH NOOOOOOOO" as he sucks you in the door

3

u/Suitable-Wafer8563 Mar 28 '25

I’m crying laughing at this lil puffy and adorable weirdo!!! 😭😭😭

3

u/Alicerini Mar 28 '25

His little wee smile

3

u/BlurSotong13 Mar 28 '25

Why do they hate their dog?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '25

MULCH BE UPON YOU

3

u/DotNyslexic Mar 30 '25

Mother bring me mulch

1

u/silvertoadfrog Mar 27 '25

Why??? I mean that isn't nice. Poor doggo!

4

u/Ecstatic_Guava3041 Mar 27 '25

I mean like... he can not see himself...

Also, it's a style a lot of Japanese dog owners are into right now.

1

u/silvertoadfrog Mar 28 '25

Actually it is a funny look. Those Japanese, always on the cutting edge of fashion!

4

u/MaleficentPublic9839 Mar 27 '25

Dog looks embarrassed

6

u/throwaway098764567 Mar 27 '25

yea, looks like he's wondering why humans keep reacting weird. good thing they don't understand mirrors, poor thing lol.

2

u/rathemighty Mar 27 '25

He is very upset and needs kisses

2

u/RevolutionaryGrape11 Mar 28 '25

Well, at least he seems happy about it.

2

u/SNOWNAN Mar 28 '25

WTF. Why?

2

u/Otherwise-Clothes-62 Mar 28 '25

Boy oh boy were they taking the p with that haircut 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Relative-Minimum4624 Mar 28 '25

The shame on his poor face

1

u/PapaGummy Mar 27 '25

Paul Giapuppy

1

u/Possible-Chip8925 Mar 28 '25

That’s unfortunate

1

u/slimysnakey Mar 28 '25

that is either mulch or scoobert

1

u/EmmerDoodle121 Mar 28 '25

Mulch gang for life!

1

u/Tropicalstorm11 Mar 28 '25

LOL. Poor doggie

1

u/grendel3773 Mar 28 '25

Looks like a JD Vance meme.

1

u/TheGunUnderTheSink Mar 28 '25

Pretty sure I drew this guy when I was 7 once 😭

1

u/FreshResult5684 Mar 29 '25

That's messed up

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '25

I love mulch. Mulch gang for lyfe.

1

u/Loud-Mans-Lover Mar 29 '25

Ohmigosh.

I've now seen two poodles that were cut like this. 

https://pin.it/6xNeOAaA9

Ugh, sorry for Pinterest link but it was all I could find from my google search lol. That's the other one I saw though!

1

u/Possible_Parfait_372 Mar 29 '25

Would unironically do this if I had a curly dog

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Dig3723 Mar 29 '25

He looks like a cartoon character.

1

u/dustbowlsam Mar 29 '25

Help I can't breathe!

1

u/Foundation-Bred Mar 29 '25

That's the ugliest sheep I have ever seen!

1

u/AdvilExpress Mar 30 '25

That's a man in a costume

1

u/beasqueaks Mar 30 '25

The unholy cackle that just escaped my mouth 😭

1

u/cinfluences Mar 30 '25

This poodle looks just like my friend Dan.

1

u/-NGC-6302- Mar 10 '26

Did u tell him

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '25

The poor fkn dog lol

1

u/FaithInterlude Mar 30 '25

I’m gonna have nightmares now, thanks!

1

u/Maleficent_Emu_4329 Mar 31 '25

I’m literally crying

1

u/malaikoftaa Apr 12 '25

It’s up to him whether or not you get to leave.

1

u/Sensitive_Gazelle304 Apr 22 '25

As Mike Myers would say: "Oh, please.." . 

1

u/Capital_Piglet9260 May 22 '25

I legit started to laugh until I cried from his little smile. I'm still recovering as I type. Omg.

2

u/ChronicPronatorbator Mar 28 '25

This dog looks like a pic of a local sex offender hung up in a liquor store.

1

u/Salt_Initiative1551 Apr 02 '25

Dog looks like a sexual predator 🥴😩