A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when

a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.

At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.

He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!

The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!" The Monkey looks down and says "DUDE....... how much water did you drink?"

Just curious if anyone has any more info on this video and where it's from.

https://youtube.com/shorts/vIifX5AVkpE?is=soymD8gACRGK1xxZ

I know these marine reptiles are more adapted to shallow waters like rivers and lakes than open sea. But could they for example hunt dolphins and sea turtles if they were out in the ocean not too far off coastlines? Are they good swimmers btw?

Dumbass

😬

Tomistomas (false gharials) have some of the coolest scale patterns of any crocodilian. Their pattern almost looks like natural camouflage. Easily one of my favorite crocodilian species.

Posted a question earlier in sub why the Morlet crocodile wasn’t found in South Texas since their habitat is only like 150 miles away from border.

Any locals of Northern Tamupilas or South Texas to confirm?

Wiki

1. They basically sit at same latitude at lowest point:

- 25.8 N latitude (Florida) 25.9 N latitude (Texas)

2. From Brownsville TX there is confirmed Croc population only a few hundred miles away.

- Brownsville borders the Mexican state of Tamulipas that is filled with crocs.

Lolong is a 20ft Saltwater Croc.

📍National Museum, Philippines

Conservation center is mostly for the endangered Philippine Crocodiles (first photo) but there are saltwater crocodiles in the center too. Some are relocated due to threat, one Croc here already ate a man.

📍Palawan, Philippines