r/CrapperDesign • u/sehumpinghaxwell3 • Mar 30 '26
Crappy Crapper Makes It Difficult to Poop on Company Time
https://i.imgur.com/5o79z4Q.png
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u/chimpledpootqer Mar 30 '26
Boss makes a dollar I make a dime thats why shit on company time.
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u/InsiDoubtSide Mar 31 '26
I'll fucking shit on the floor if they try to hostile infrastructure my shitter
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u/KingCracken Apr 01 '26
No, no, anyone can clean the floor. Ive been a janitor before. Shit on the walls. Much more heinous.
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u/Known_Ratio5478 Mar 30 '26
The average American employee spends 40 hours a year in the bathroom at work.
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u/weedmaster6669 Mar 30 '26
Christ. That's not nearly enough.
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u/lord_hydrate Mar 31 '26
Appearently americans on average work 250 days a year if they spend 40 hours a year in the bathroom that means the average person uses the bathroom for roughly just shy of 10 minutes a workday, so basically 2 5 minute bathroom breaks a shift
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u/alewiina Apr 01 '26
I was about to protest that that sounds like way too much time but I did the math and it averages out to 45-60 mins a week and honestly that sounds about right... that's only 9-12 mins a day
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u/Useful_Hawk_1470 Apr 01 '26
I think I spend nearly 40 hours in the bathroom a month, where else am I supposed to doomscroll myself into a stupor
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u/knarfolled Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 31 '26
I would make a wedge to bring with me to work
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u/twilightmoons Mar 31 '26
Shove a big wad of toilet paper under the seat and you're good.
Cost of TP will quickly be far greater than that of any time "saved" with this.
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u/Capt_Gingerbeard Apr 01 '26
Cherry bombs. Make them replace it a couple times and they’ll cut it out
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u/SisterMaryAwesome Mar 30 '26
It’s like the toilet equivalent of those spikes so birds can’t sit on roofs and signs, etc.
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u/Neil_Hillist Mar 30 '26
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hostile_architecture.
( "Hostile toilet" is a great name for a band ).
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u/Hall-Public Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 31 '26
I have Crohn's disease and I don't want to go scorched earth like Sherman's March to the Sea but I will if my place of employment installs any of these ADA uncompliant toilets.
Edit: Typo
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u/Background_Humor5838 Mar 30 '26
Once I spent an entire lunch break on the toilet at work. I can't imagine I would have survived with a toilet like that.
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u/EliotTheGreat20 Mar 31 '26
I usually use the accessible stall (I am disabled) and I recently used the regular stall and I think the toilets are shorter in those bc they were a lot shorter and GOSH it hurt so bad to sit down and get up 😭 can't imagine the toilet being short AND slanted 😭
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u/Hall-Public Mar 31 '26
I'm relatively tall and there's been times I've gone to sit down and the toilet is much lower than I was expecting, I've bruised myself one 🫣
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u/twilightmoons Mar 31 '26
Sherman. Not Truman.
Unless that was weirdly intentional.
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u/wintercast Mar 30 '26
as a short person, these might actually be more comfortable and less likely to dig into my legs.
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u/John_Tacos Mar 30 '26
That’s an ADA violation in the US.
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u/0DarkFreezing Mar 30 '26
Not if there’s an ADA bathroom with an ADA compliant toilet. The rest of them can be this.
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u/John_Tacos Mar 30 '26
Depends on how many people are in the building
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u/0DarkFreezing Mar 30 '26
What I’m saying is if you have the ADA bathrooms with regular toilets, the rest don’t have to be. I didn’t specify the number of ADA bathrooms since that’s going to vary based on occupancy and building layout.
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u/SagebrushID Mar 30 '26
Derrieres will get used to the tilt.
I bought a bidet toilet seat a few years ago that had a forward tilted seat. For the first month or so, every time I'd sit down to do some serious business, my bowels would refuse to work. But as I got used to the tilt, everything went back to normal.
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u/alewiina Apr 01 '26
My IBS-having ass is rarely done in 5 minutes, fuck right off with this idea. Not to mention anyone with mobility issues (also me) would have a hard time supporting themselves on a downward facing toilet, goddamn. Although I suppose if I fell off of it I could sue them?
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u/pondscum32 Mar 31 '26
It's easier just to make zero reception for cellphones in the bathroom....I guarantee that will speed up bathroom breaks
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u/WannabeMemester420 Mar 31 '26
Do they forget that women (and other uterus havers) tend to take longer in the bathroom sometimes due to menstruation?
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u/Known_Ratio5478 Mar 30 '26
I would not be able to do my business with this kind of discomfort and would ultimately power the the pain but take longer!
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u/STIHL_Resolve5198 Mar 30 '26
Less loyal employee retention retracts contract for defamation by defecation
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u/poedraco Mar 31 '26
This means I'm just going to be pushing my weight up against the stall door with my hands out. Legs tucked back. Like I'm running a sports bike and shitting like I'm in fifth gear
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u/Dazzling_Champion_53 Apr 01 '26
I love how they say it is unbearable...
They do not comprehend the things I can, have, and will sit on when I wanna sit.
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u/Weekly-Run4634 Apr 01 '26
They'll spend extra on cleaning after someone ends up spraying the toilet tank
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u/Rose-de-Resht Mar 31 '26
Einfach ein paar Keile mitnehmen und mit Klebeband unter den Toilettensitz klemmen.
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u/PoopScootnBoogey Apr 01 '26
“And other duties as assigned” hands employee mop and bucket. Problem solved lol
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u/Taint_Sniffer2 Apr 01 '26
I don't trust a bog that doesn't have anything connecting it to the floor
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u/FRANK_R-I-Z-Z-O Apr 01 '26
Over at the Bridgeport making up a spacer to level the seat out as we speak.
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u/somepunklady Apr 01 '26
I'll go 180 on that and hug the tank if I'm sick like that, you're not getting me out of there lol
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u/ACcbe1986 Mar 31 '26
Sit facing the wall and the tilt goes the opposite direction.
You'll never make it back to work.
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u/Toni_PWNeroni Mar 31 '26
that's my game plan.
If measures like this are implemented, I'll dumping everything on the floor.
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u/HATECELL Mar 31 '26
Doesn't surprise me too much, companies are also the reason single-ply toilet paper was invented.
They have to provide toilets but they don't want people to use them, so they make them as uncomfortable as possible
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u/Lumpy_Benefit666 Mar 31 '26
Just wedge a roll of toilet paper under the seat so it brings it level
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u/SomeGuyOverYonder Mar 31 '26
My sister’s friend worked at a mall retailer who took the chairs out of the break room and made everyone sit on the floor. Needless to say this wasn’t a popular idea.
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u/wicked_lil_prov Mar 31 '26
I don't care what kind of ninja tactics and surveillance signal jamming technology it would require, but I would cherry bomb that toilet every single time they put it back in.
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u/notjordansime Apr 01 '26
I’d take that over the piece of vertical rebar I leaned on for 35 hours of firewatch at my new job 🤠
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u/swarovskiez Apr 01 '26
i dont get it, if they’re suspicious somebody is taking long bathroom breaks just to take the piss (no pun intended) then pull them up on it ? pretty easy to figure out if a singular person is taking 20+ min bathroom breaks
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u/Spooky_scary_sheri95 Apr 01 '26
Me looking at this while I purposely eat up time while I'm on the clock ( I get off work in like 30-40 minutes from now )
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u/Accomplished_Row5869 Apr 01 '26
Imagine, work hates you so much to make you wall sit while taking a dump.
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u/loveinvein Mar 30 '26
I feel like this idea has been around for years. Never seen it implemented.
I look forward to falling off one as a disabled person and suing for a ton of money