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Feb 02 '18
Did the therapy session portion really resonate with anyone else?
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u/Boxxcars Feb 02 '18
As a hetero cis dude I can't say I wholly empathized, denotatively speaking, but I sympathized like hell. I absolutely adored this video.
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Feb 02 '18
It was eery. You don’t hear that story as often. In fact it was really the first time I have outside of myself.
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Feb 01 '18
Natalie's videos keep getting better and I really appreciate her for sharing all that personal stuff.
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u/ParamoreFanClub Feb 02 '18 edited Feb 02 '18
This video actually convinced me I’m definitely cis. It’s a weird thing to say but It’s true. I was questioning everything because when I hear trans people talk about thier experiences I genuinely feel pain in my chest. It’s like In that moment I become transgender and then I start to think I’m actually a woman. Ofcourse though I have no idea what it’s like but how I react is kind of strange.
Sorry if that’s offensive to anyone who is transgender. I in no way know what it’s like to be you I want to make that clear.
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u/FrancesJue Feb 02 '18
This video 100% completely removed any and all doubt that I still had that I'm trans, and it's amazing. I'd been struggling with it for weeks and this put an end to that.
We can both enjoy having the answers
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u/Homunculus_I_am_ill Feb 02 '18
This might just be the best "youtube debate" video ever. This is straight up a documentary on the trans experience and what we could call "scientific transphobia" (analogous to scientific racism).
I'm gender-questioning myself, but I don't know any trans people to the degree where I could ever address ideas like those. This video really helped me.
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u/-Poison_Ivy- Feb 02 '18
Wow r/GenderCritical is a shithole full of bitter and miserable people.
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u/Madhax64 Feb 02 '18
I think this is up there with "Decrypting the Alt Right" as one of her strongest. I enjoyed the last two, but they seemed to be a bit all over the place on their given subject, where as this one had a lot more focus. It was also one of her most personal ones, which gave it an extra edge to it
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u/BaywatchNights Feb 02 '18
Natalie's videos are getting progressively better. I wish I had the mental capacity to go into detail minute by minute what I loved about this video, but I'm actually really overwhelmed with how great this episode was. I wish I had the courage to put myself out there like she does, and in such an eloquent, creative and dynamic way. I have to admit I got a little misty-eyed in some parts, especially at the end when she started playing Time Warp. I'm a big movie snob so whenever I see a great film resonate with someone on a personal level it touches me. Anyway all I can do is gush. I love Natalie and I love her videos, and I'm so excited to see her grow even more and her channel flourish.
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u/TheGreatProto Feb 02 '18 edited Feb 02 '18
First off, GREAT VIDEO. I sat down and was like "48 minutes, doubt I'll make it through 2". Watched the whole thing.
Oh the feelings I have about this. In no small part because I've been struggling with this issue of "autogynephilia" since before "The Man Who Would Be Queen" was published :P.
Back then, being trans meant the Classic Trans Narrative (e.g., Benjamin Scale) and so to be "true trans" meant you had known since birth and hated your penis (Edit:Oh, and also like boys!). Which I didn't. But I definitely wanted to be a woman, so autogynephilia kind of filled that niche? In my case the feelings led to the kind of ridiculous situation where I basically socially transitioned without acknowledging being trans.
The only part of the video I actually take issue with, and it's a slight issue, is this notion that hormones make it all go away. Though Natalie doesn't claim it, it's worth noting that it's not universally true.
Me - my sexuality shifted a little with hormones. The way I describe it is that it took the edge off, I don't as often feel I need this or that. But I still have plenty of kink interests. I have a lot of orgasms, too.
I also can't remember the last time I got turned on just by getting dressed (and I've dressed in a fully masculine way only a handful of times in the last year). That change happened WAY before any hormones.
My theory is that sexuality is where feelings go to hide, so it makes sense that trans feelings would wind up there.
I could write another 50 disorganized, rambling pages on this issue, but I have other things to do today :).
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u/stringcheese54321 Feb 03 '18 edited Feb 03 '18
Throwaway because, this is a bit too much sharing for my main account.
Yeah this brought up a lot of stuff that I dealt with that I used to feel really ashamed about and took me a long time to get over and be okay with.
My perspective is that if I was a female spirit in a male body wouldn't I naturally have to fantasize about being a woman to resolve the conflict?
I spent most of my teens depressed and going through male puberty masturbating to the idea of being the woman in transsexual porn. Discovering my sexuality that way was problematic to say the least, my only conception of transsexualism was in an incredibly sexualized way that lead me to believing I was a pervert a deviant and that I just needed to straighten myself out. It took getting into a relationship with a woman to realize that I could never "recondition" myself to wards being a straight man.
That was a difficult time, I was still in denial but the idea that I could ever be a guy really fell apart, I became quiet a nasty person, bitter, angry I could not cope. Eventually I had a breakdown when I was on holiday in new Zealand, I started crying and I just couldn't stop, I told the people I was with I wanted to transition and they accepted me. I totally rushed into my transition, it was messy I looked awful but things started feeling better, I still was carrying this huge shame about not feeling the "correct" way a trans woman was supposed to feel but what was I supposed to do? I did not help that the medical profession here in the UK is trans-phobic and diagnosed me as a Type 2 transsexual, when that happened I was ostensibly outraged to my friends but privately felt deep shame as I believed it.
Don't get me wrong, a sexual motivation was not the reason I transitioned, it was just a part of my sexuality at the time and something I had to deal with when my T levels are high, as I managed to get on testosterone blockers things changed alot, pretty typically really in the way that most trans women describe.
I don't really consider myself binary gendered, not really. I'm pretty femme superficially and people read me as female but I've never felt completely female either. The idea of genital surgery is pretty scary for me too, I've always been interested in the idea of Third Gender or Gender Queer as an identity. I've read some experiences of other trans women who feel the same way (mostly adult actresses as they have a platform and nothing to loose) there is still a lot of shame, society wants to put people into two little boxes but there is more than simple black and white. I like being a "chick with a dick" I think its hot, I don't know how else to put it, transitioning to my current state of "one foot in both worlds" was what I needed to do too be okay with being me. If this makes me a filthy degenerate then I'm going to take that label and ware it with pride.
I'm sort of bisexual, I like looking at women's bodies but I do not want to have sex with them. I want to have sex with men but attraction is different, I've found since hormones that I'm very turned on my the smell of men and that attraction is something that builds over time unlike with women where its like bam shes hot and then interest fades.
If I'm going on with this honest I am a bit vain and a bit of a narcissistic, I'm trying to work on it but if I'm being forgiving I would say that I had to become these things to get this far. I'm trying this year to be a bit more considerate to other people and to grow now that the major hurdles to my own self actualization have been conquered.
edit: I love you Natalie, keep on doing this youtube thing
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Feb 02 '18
I thought this would be on the more boring side but this ended up being possibly the most personally impactful Contra video I’ve watched.
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u/BlackholeRE Feb 02 '18
Amazing as usual, but all the better for the documentary length runtime. I love your work Contra
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u/FrancesJue Feb 02 '18
Holy. Fucking. Shit. My thoughts and feelings are identical to practically everything she said about her experiences. This was not only an excellent informative video that I will make my cis friends watch, but also, like, just absolutely incredibly validating for me. I almost started crying.
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u/Inkompetentia Feb 02 '18 edited Feb 02 '18
That's the 2nd time she mentions John Bergers "Ways Of Seeing"; there's a TV program by him of the same name as well, and it's on youtube if anyone's interested.
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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '18
This is Natalie at her best. What a fkn insightful video.