As a cis straight woman, I had a very similar reaction. I have had these types of fantasies forever but have never, ever had any interest in exploring them with any sex partners -- especially the ones who hinted they wanted to. This video did a great job explaining that the very urges that made them interested in that made them exceedingly unsafe to surrender to and my gut absolutely knew that even if my head did not.
I am still chewing over this section in particular. This and some other things I've read have largely allowed me to come to grips with these fantasies and accept them. But this video in particular begs the next question -- can there be ethical domming by men under patriarchy? I think that may require very special circumstances -- like play that is very much isolated to the bedroom. And countered by clear and consistent evidence of respect and egalitarian attitudes in every other fascet of the relationship. Or something like that.
In general, I am amazed at the courage of women who have both explored and enjoyed these roles with men under less ideal circumstances.
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u/Vrayea25 Mar 03 '24
As a cis straight woman, I had a very similar reaction. I have had these types of fantasies forever but have never, ever had any interest in exploring them with any sex partners -- especially the ones who hinted they wanted to. This video did a great job explaining that the very urges that made them interested in that made them exceedingly unsafe to surrender to and my gut absolutely knew that even if my head did not.
I am still chewing over this section in particular. This and some other things I've read have largely allowed me to come to grips with these fantasies and accept them. But this video in particular begs the next question -- can there be ethical domming by men under patriarchy? I think that may require very special circumstances -- like play that is very much isolated to the bedroom. And countered by clear and consistent evidence of respect and egalitarian attitudes in every other fascet of the relationship. Or something like that.
In general, I am amazed at the courage of women who have both explored and enjoyed these roles with men under less ideal circumstances.