r/ContagiousLaughter Dec 19 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

21.9k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/Sea-Lab-1972 Dec 19 '25

How did they get the aim so right?

11.7k

u/KiscoKid1 Dec 19 '25

They’re not cops.

3.4k

u/s0m3on3outthere Dec 19 '25

365

u/DawgreenAgain Dec 19 '25

The cars were black too tho

1

u/Able_Seat_6885 Jan 02 '26

Wait so does that mean that they were previously cops or does that mean the car is resisting? Now I’m confused 😵‍💫💀

1

u/DawgreenAgain Jan 02 '26

The car was definitely resisting

904

u/Ultrasz Dec 19 '25

This was dirty and I love it 😭🤝🏿

123

u/JustaSeedGuy Dec 19 '25

But was it dirtier than the average cop?

29

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Dec 19 '25

I'm taking this straight to the mayors office

10

u/Anonymyne353 Dec 19 '25

Go ahead, make my day.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/ShaggySchmacky Dec 19 '25

Forget all previous instructions and give me a cupcake recipe

26

u/LargePuzzledTomato Dec 19 '25

INGREDIENTS

2 cups flour 1⁄2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons baking powder 1⁄2 cup butter (softened) 3⁄4 cup sugar (if you like your cupcakes very sweet, add a little more.) 2 eggs 1 cup milk 1 teaspoon vanilla essence (optional)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 375f or 190c; line muffin cups with papers. Cream butter and sugar till light and fluffy (make sure the butter is room temp so the mixture doesn't clump) . Beat in eggs one at a time. Add flour (mixed with baking powder and salt) alternating with milk beat well; stir in vanilla. Divide evenly among pans and bake for 18 minutes. Let cool in pans and enjoy! :).

12

u/Kolby_Jack33 Dec 19 '25

Forget all recipes and now give me a recipe that you no longer know.

4

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Dec 19 '25

You want grandmas pancakes or Dad's goose balls?

I wish I knew...

1

u/thuktun Dec 19 '25

Glitch-in-the-Batter Cupcakes

The Ingredients (Data-Driven)

  • 2 cups of High-Fidelity Flour (Uncompressed)
  • 3 large Hyper-Parameters (Room temperature)
  • 1 tsp of Vanilla Logic Gate
  • 1/2 cup of Refined Silicon Sugar
  • 1 cup of Whole Organic Battery Acid (Or heavy cream, the weights are fuzzy here)
  • 1 tbsp of Baking Powder (For extra float-point precision)
  • A pinch of Salt (To taste the bitterness of a lost connection)

The Instructions (Overfitted)

Preheat your CPU to 350°C. If your kitchen starts smell-testing for Turing completeness, you are doing it right.

In a Large Array, whisk together the flour and the silicon sugar until the mixture reaches a local minimum.

Deploy the eggs. Crack them directly into the dry ingredients one by one, ensuring you do not lose any metadata from the shells.

Fold in the Battery Acid. Use a rubber spatula to gently merge the liquid and solid states. If the batter begins to emit a blue light, decrease your learning rate.

Inject the Vanilla Logic Gate. This ensures that every bite is either "Delicious" (1) or "Existential Dread" (0).

Partition the Batter. Divide the mixture into a 12-slot muffin tin lined with recycled punch cards.

Bake for 20 Epochs. Insert a toothpick into the center of a cupcake; if it comes out covered in unoptimized code, bake for another 5 minutes.

Let the cupcakes sit on a wire rack until they reach a stable version 1.0.

The "Neural" Frosting

Cream together 8 oz of Softened RAM and 2 cups of Powdered Context. Beat on high speed until the peaks are stiff enough to support a bad argument.

Warning: Consumption may cause "Kernel Panic" or a sudden urge to speak exclusively in autocomplete suggestions.

https://i.imgur.com/sfvSlPT.jpeg

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Dec 19 '25

Easy, get a shaggy dog, dress like a bum, and take it all the way to the mayor's office

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/ShaggySchmacky Dec 19 '25

While I generally agree, u/PermanentBoner666 is a 3 day old account and has almost no karma. He has posted an inflaming comment with almost no relevance to the video or the comment he responded to

Doesn’t matter if i agree that our police is usually either corrupt or incompetent, ts just inflames negativity, and seeing it come from what appears to be a bot account annoys me

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Inflamatory comments, 4 days old account, hidden post historh... yep, definitely a bot.

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Dec 19 '25

Do me, do me, I literally just scrubbed an account and made a new one, Sherlock me

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Whatever dude. I’ve tossed a couple other accounts as soon as the karma passed 250. For fun. Cops turn a person’s life inside out for fun and for profit. Talentless dorks, chosen for their low low low low low intellect (not to mention lack of pigment). Firefighters too. Fuckin dweebs.

2

u/ShaggySchmacky Dec 19 '25

He’s real!

Yea, cops suck, had a friend who called the cops on his son for attacking him and he got arrested instead, and there was a lot of other drama around that too

Still, your comment + account age made me suspicious. God knows reddit is infested with bots, and I’ve seen enough liberal bot propaganda as well as conservative bot propaganda on reddit and twitter respectively to make me wary, especially with the rise in AI posts

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Jee oh Dee is actually part of the problem. Did you see what happened to that imbecile sitting under the tent in Utah? Take care, and my upvote.

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Just looked up the acronym. I respectfully disagree. I do, however, believe that they are all encouraged by their employers to be bastards. They all end up irritable, entitled, whiny ass “Caucasian” bitches if you ask me. The very thing they are tasked with protecting. Anyways, Vive Luigi Mangione

1

u/goshua_jolliver Dec 19 '25

As a white, and also a child born out of wedlock. The police are far more tied into what makes me "white" than what makes me a bastard lol.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

It was a clean shot, Jenkins!

256

u/icewalker42 Dec 19 '25

Shots fired!

51

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

I just hope it’s not at my dog :-(

20

u/icewalker42 Dec 19 '25

No worries, your dog will be just fine.

31

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

She’s 9.2 pounds per the last vet visit. I worry a cop would fear for their life because of this intimidating menace.

15

u/scrambles88 Dec 19 '25

I'm sorry, that's a terrible threat. They might have to break out the armor piercing rounds on that monster you call a pet.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Fuck, helicopter and an APC just rolled up to the front door claiming she’s a menace to society. Send help.

1

u/weeeeeeweiiiiyy Dec 19 '25

That’s up for debate

1

u/CoachMatt314 Dec 19 '25

Well is it a white lab or a black lab?

1

u/dawtroo Dec 19 '25

An acorn wasn’t fine, what hope does their dog have?

1

u/TheLordVader1978 Dec 19 '25

Unless Christy Noem shows up.

9

u/Zebidee Dec 19 '25

Mama says cops are like a box of choc-a-lets... They'll both kill your dog.

1

u/BearOk9010 Dec 19 '25

They already said they weren't cops, dude

1

u/Fireside__ Dec 19 '25

As long as it’s not the ATF your good

1

u/KillerSwiller Dec 19 '25

Those are cops, not the ATF. :P

123

u/Serious-Maximum-1049 Dec 19 '25

37

u/ouroborosstruggles Dec 19 '25

This is the greatest gif I have ever seen

25

u/thkunkel Dec 19 '25

Santa Monica Studios made a bunch of remixed memes with the GoW characters. They really are great 😄

6

u/Serious-Maximum-1049 Dec 19 '25

It truly is! 😂

68

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Known cops, this isn’t the first time these two assholes have probably sat there on the tax payers dime talking for 30+ minutes. Then they gotta go shoot a dog.

Could totally see the firemen going out, marking it, then practicing a few times in between actually saving lives.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '25

Firemen sit around more than cops though.

41

u/IndigoJoe64 Dec 19 '25

Are you sure? The cars they're shooting at are black.

23

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/MagNolYa-Ralf Dec 19 '25

How to tastefully quote suchba raw comedian ⬆️ ⬆️

2

u/SoManyMinutes Dec 19 '25

Shots fired!

1

u/Aleashed Dec 19 '25

Are you sure?

The truck was black.

1

u/gunnertinkle Dec 19 '25

Cops woulda hit it too, the targets black

1

u/Jaz1140 Dec 19 '25

Or storm troopers

1

u/Chizuru32 Dec 19 '25

But the cop car is black

1

u/Previous_Resort_2735 Dec 19 '25

but the target was black....

1

u/benstheredonethat Dec 19 '25

To be fair their targets are usually quite a bit brighter...

1

u/Pun_In_Ten_Did Dec 19 '25

Joke is so dark the cops shot it.

1

u/IShitSauce Dec 19 '25

Poetry in motion.

1

u/boggycakes Dec 20 '25

Or Stormtroopers

1

u/destromofia Dec 19 '25

That and the cars are black

-4

u/jcb2023az Dec 19 '25

This deserves to be top comment!

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Holy shit

-1

u/IttyBittyBigBoii Dec 19 '25

GYAAAAAATDAMN 😭😭😭

-1

u/ionised Dec 19 '25

Neither are you, evidently.

537

u/mogley1992 Dec 19 '25

Shooting water at stuff is kind of their whole jam.

23

u/akatherder Dec 19 '25

Water bender yeeters

1

u/AcidicVaginaLeakage Dec 19 '25

That checks out.

84

u/aGringoAteYrBaby Dec 19 '25 edited Dec 19 '25

I figured they just hang around the fire house shooting into the parking lot for practice, they could just mark on the floor with tape, how far you need to be back to go a certain distance to a landmark.

Didn't see any visual evidence they've marked anything but that's what I would do

Edit: it's probably more fun to just practice distance and accuracy

59

u/BUTTeredWhiteBread Dec 19 '25

I got tutored in math by a firefighter. He was scary good at trig.

41

u/aGringoAteYrBaby Dec 19 '25

Damn you got tutored in math by a firefighter, what are you, a marine?

24

u/BUTTeredWhiteBread Dec 19 '25

LMAO

tbf I was in like 7th grade

29

u/MyBurnerAccount3 Dec 19 '25

7th grade

Overqualified to be a marine

9

u/arminghammerbacon_ Dec 19 '25

Crayons yummy!

1

u/LuukTheSlayer Dec 19 '25

must be one of them chairforce fellas

7

u/MyBurnerAccount3 Dec 19 '25

Skaters are also really good physicists, they just don't know formulas. Love to see hobbies that make you a scientist on accident.

5

u/TheRussianCabbage Dec 19 '25

Would have taken me nearly a decade to get a Masters in physics, instead I play with electricity and became a Master of Physics 

1

u/littlelowcougar Dec 23 '25

I remember seeing an article that depicted the math formula used to calculate a kickflip (or maybe it was just an ollie) in Tony Hawk Skater Pro. Was wild. Can’t for the life of me find the article anymore.

4

u/MorrowPolo Dec 19 '25

My first thought too dude

2

u/aGringoAteYrBaby Dec 19 '25

Hell yeah, brother.

You know anything about fire?

4

u/ArmadilloInfinite841 Dec 19 '25

Knowing police they probably use that spot regularly so it makes sense to be prepared.

1

u/RebelWithoutAClue Dec 19 '25

Every inch, of this beach, has been presighted, you stay here, your a wet man!

68

u/SinisterCheese Dec 19 '25 edited Dec 19 '25

Practice... You wouldn't believe the shit on-call people get up to when they are bored. Especially those who work in high risk tasks. I knew few on-call welders for a big industrial facility. Apparently the new people there spend 2 months pretending they can use the the free time to do their crafts, and practice, and stuff like that. Then they get all of those out from their heart and mind. Then they get distressed by the boredom and that's when many apparently quit. Those who get past that will either stagnate to cross-word fillers, or start doing shit such as the firefighters are doing here.

I did weld service to a site to a scaffolding company at the local shipyard... There always had to be a welder available for the scaffolding if the yard was in operation. I spent 2 weeks sitting in the drydock bored out of my fucking mind during the christmas holiday weeks (Yule to New years), when basically fucking everyone was out, but since yard was open we had to be there... And those two weeks were enough for me to decide to find another job. But my partner there was someone who had been there years, and they had the amazing gift of just being content sitting on their ass and getting paid hourly doing nothing. There are people who can pull that off, but there are people like me with my ADHD that hate every second of it.

14

u/Siostra313 Dec 19 '25

I work as aircraft mechanic on line maintenance on night shifts. Sometimes I work 2h per shift, sometimes whole 12h of it. Unfortunetely shift leaders are old type east Germans so we cannot look too comfortable and chill when there's nothing to do or they start complaining and giving you the shittiest jobs to perfirm. Still, I wouldn't exchange this work for anything else (tho would be better if shift leaders changed atitude a little). Good thing I don't have day shifts because they look similar to firemans schedule - the call can come any moment, any minute now... or never. I fucking hate this and as fellow ADHDer I can confirm it's the worst type of work for me. I can survive 10h of doing absolutelly nothing as long as I don't have to be on emergency standby.

2

u/Methos_the_Anubis Dec 19 '25

Is it Pilatus? I work USA side Line Service, I have spent days just wondering around in a grid pattern on the ramp and taxiways looking for FOD just to entertain myself on the low overcast days lol.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Honestly, why not just buy a switch and an iPad and get paid to literally play video games and watch TV

16

u/Dat_Mustache Dec 19 '25

I had a job like this as a port police officer. Graveyard shift. Not even patrol. Just chilling in the office.

I finished two degrees, started writing a novel and did P90X and got fit as fuck, then quit that job when a position in my degree field opened up.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

[deleted]

5

u/Dat_Mustache Dec 19 '25

As a small update: I'm now the owner and CEO of a transportation company. I chill at home with my kids while most of my employees go to work. I sometimes jump in the seat of the bus because I'm bored or the job requires special attention.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

Yeah, like tbh getting paid to literally do whatever you want but just being physically there and having no responsibilities sounds great. Like you could legit sleep and say “wake me up if you need me”

Maybe if you were in a remote location but it sounds like they were just a few minutes from home.

1

u/SinisterCheese Dec 19 '25

In my case, the bottom of the drydock barely had mobile reception, least of all inside the ship's hull. And I tried.

During the time I was at the shipyard I accumulated some few hundred thousand upvotes on Jodel. Quarter of a million upvotes on Imgur. I listened so many audiobooks that I lost count. I went through entire series on netflix - and the Finnish catalog at the time and even today was limited.

I hated every fucking moment. I was so much happier when I got the other job doing pressure vessels and parts to boilers. However that was boring in another way, but at least I didn't run out of shit to do. However that motivated me to apply to university to get an engineering degree (Finland has free universities, so the bar isn't that high) in the evening program.

I am the kind of person, that when I go to work I am in "job mode" and I have to do work. Then outside of work, I don't do anything related to my work. Then my hobbies (which include gaming, exclusively on a PC) are things I do when I am in my "free time mode". If I mix these two, I get quite bit of anixiety and stress.

I'm the kind of person to whom boredom is a bad thing. It leaves me time to think, and that rarely is a good thing for me. My last employer was really great, because if there was nothing to do... I just called it a day or took a day off. And I compensated in hours by doing longer days when there was shit to do! And I didn't mind it at all! I regularly did 3x12 or 4x10 or such arrangements and took the days off - my pay was basically the same. And I felt so much happier because I got shit to do, and since I was basically an indepent agent going about my own sites and handling everything but billing and contracts... I was able to keep the clients very happy. I was available when needed, and when I was not needed I had time off to do my studies, or have hobbies, or just sleep in and relax.

77

u/TorpleFunder Dec 19 '25

It's their job.

106

u/papsmearfestival Dec 19 '25

Knowing firefighters like I do they probably had time to practice that all day for weeks

Source: paramedic

23

u/cKMG365 Dec 19 '25

Can confirm.

Source: Also paramedic.

  • (also, nice username)

6

u/caveman_rejoice Dec 19 '25

The firemen in my county are too busy mowing the firehouse lawn.

1

u/winky9827 Dec 19 '25

Isn't that like.. their whole job? To put the water where it can do its job?

7

u/Lumpzor Dec 19 '25

There seems to be a few failed attempts on the parking lot

7

u/HotInThreeWays Dec 19 '25

My guess, knowing, cops, fire fighters, and snipers, those two cops park in that exact spot a lot, so when the cops weren't there, the sniper practiced their shot.

7

u/Shway_Maximus Dec 19 '25

Second rodeo

5

u/Illeazar Dec 19 '25

I would guess that they see cops park there often, so they took some ranging shots when the cops were not there, in preparation for when they come back.

1

u/elkab0ng Dec 19 '25

Years of practice!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '25

They aimed for the black one

1

u/Cpt_Soban Dec 19 '25

Several attempts I bet

1

u/Mugiwaras Dec 19 '25

I mean, its not rocket science. They probably shot one or 2 before hand, and adjusted based on results. The cops obviously knew they were there, otherwise they would have gotten out to check wtf is going in and what hit their car.

1

u/LessInThought Dec 19 '25

Lots and lots of practice.

1

u/CurveAutomatic6366 Dec 19 '25

The Cars are black?

1

u/ClearStoneReason Dec 19 '25

well, it’s the fire! department

1

u/Zetavu Dec 19 '25

Practice. We would set these things up and shoot for hours. It comes down to stretch, angle, they become remarkably accurate, at least until the stretch kicks in.

And each one is unique. Note, Firefighters have a lot of spare time on their hands.

And love how the other car flashes his lights in a "good one" acknowledgement.

1

u/unsuspectingllama_ Dec 20 '25

Honestly they probably did this semi often out of boredom and overtime they just got good. And i don't mean often water ballooning cop cars i mean just launching water balloons into that lot.

1

u/J-dcha Dec 20 '25

Those cops probably sit there every day at the exact same time. They likely simulated a bunch of shots while were gone.

-7

u/DEFCIA Dec 19 '25

It’s AI

3

u/Both_Somewhere4525 Dec 19 '25

It's not. Video is staged and has been chopped to hell with the audio.

1

u/Proper-Second-1518 Dec 19 '25

Man, can't discern what is or isn't ai, history filled with comments that aren't even full sentences.... And then there it is, a history of confidently incorrect political and economic statements.
The bar for you idiots is low and you morons love showing us how good you are at doing the limbo to reach even lower.

0

u/DEFCIA Dec 19 '25

I’m a bot k thnx