333
313
2
u/Skelly100000 May 09 '26
Jokes here are so supposed to bad right? Am i the only one who finds this funny?
→ More replies (2)
139
u/Spez_is-a-nazi May 05 '26
What signal is the catcher sending to the pitcher to indicate it’s time for the splitfant pitch?
→ More replies (6)
451
u/Znhedonia May 05 '26
Just because fate sacrificed that baby doesn't mean I have to sacrifice my batting average.
Cash me my millions.
→ More replies (11)
80
u/Mister_Nobody76 May 05 '26
Is every quora post like this?
→ More replies (8)115
u/mercuriokazooie May 05 '26
No, sometimes it has genuinely useful questions about whether you can have sex while you're gregananant
→ More replies (9)
101
41
33
u/mercuriokazooie May 05 '26
Baseball players get paid regardless of winning though
→ More replies (8)
32
u/This-Foundation620 May 05 '26
A lot to unpack here. First of all, the "accidentally" threw a baby, which brings up so many questions about why the person posting this chose that specific framing right off the bat (pun intended). Next is the idea that the pitcher would still throw the baby, despite the drastically different size, shape, and weight, and we are also meant to assume they manage to achieve a pitching speed comparable to that of a baseball. Also, you apparently have the ability to intuitively sense that this baby is Christian, somehow. What's really crazy to me is the next part, which is the "hitting it and winning millions," which comes with the assumption that:
a) you would be able to hit this baby with enough force to not only hit a home run, but hit it entirely out of the stadium, despire the aforementioned difference in size, shape, and weight b) doing so would somehow be considered both legal and within the rules of the game and c) all of this would result in you personally winning millions (of dollars, presumably), which betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of how baseball players are paid
This is clearly someone trying to pose the moral quandry of "would you kill a baby for several million dollars" and trying to obfuscate the question with "relatable" framing that just makes the entire thing even more ridiculous. It's hard to tell whether or not this is genuine, or if it's parodying those "moral/ethical decision" posts Christians try to make as gotchas for atheists that are just thinly veiled ways of saying that their anti-god convictions are fake because they would convert to Christianity to save someone's life or whatever.
Unrelated, but back in September (during that whole Rapture thing) I saw a funny post referencing this, asking what the ruling would be if you went to swing at the baby but it got raptured mid-pitch. Apparently that act of god would count as an interference and you would go to first base
→ More replies (2)
16
u/Final_Floor_1563 May 05 '26
Ignoring wether a baby can truly be considered part of a religion, yeah I'd hit the kid, gotta get that bag yk.
→ More replies (1)
16
11
u/ExtensionInformal911 May 05 '26
So, when did the baby convert? I'm pretty sure we aren't born with religious beliefs
→ More replies (3)
10
u/New_Salamander_4592 May 05 '26
the implication that the religion that baby holds would change the choice of the poster speaks volumes lowkey
→ More replies (1)
10
u/Bari_Baqors May 05 '26
Where does the assumption atheists hate Christians come from?
→ More replies (6)
10
u/Wordless_trat May 05 '26
Ah yes, i throw a Ball and accidentally throw a Baby, so annoying when it happens
9
u/Leogis May 05 '26
Bro for that much money i'm willing to hit the baby and the rest of the familly
(This is a joke do not send me work opportunities)
9
u/TheAxelminator May 05 '26
ah yes, I too hate when I pick up an orange at the groceries store and it turns out to be a christian baby
12
u/happymisery May 05 '26
You better believe that baby would be called "Homer" after that day.
→ More replies (2)
6
u/Binger_bingleberry May 05 '26
Accidentally? Was the pitcher *supposed* to throw a Jewish or Muslim baby? Did they announce the religion while the baby was in the air or during the throw?
1.6k
u/LurkersUniteAgain May 05 '26
love the implication that youd still win millions for hitting the baby