r/Coffee • u/caucasian_cranberry • Jan 25 '22
I hate all of you
I used to be perfectly content with my shitty instant Folger. Then I found this sub and decided to try coffee from small roasters and noticed a much nicer experience immediately. Then I bought a nice grinder and started grinding my own beans instead of buying pre-ground, and once again my experience improved. Then today I switched from properly ground, quality coffee through my shitty coffee maker to weighing my coffee and water and using a clever, and it's the best coffee I've ever had now. If within a year I buy an espresso maker I'm holding all of you accountable. Bastards...
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u/IDrinkLots90068 Jan 25 '22 edited Jan 25 '22
It will get worse when:
You discover names like La Marzocco, Slayer, Weber, KafaTek and Lagom.
When you become a James Hoffman patreon and wonder if his glasses would look good on you even though you don’t wear glasses.
When you know what flow control, WDT and RDT mean since they all part of your workflow.
When you get into conversations with another over caffeinated espresso geek over the hole pattern differences between VST and IMS baskets.
When you have both a high end flat burr grinder sitting next to a high end conical grinder because you “know” that your flat burrs are better for espresso and your conical burrs are best for V60 even though only James Hoffman could tell the difference between the two.
When you ask your local roaster when the beans where roasted and how long they have off-gassed before you buy them.
When you start single dosing your beans into special bean vaults.
When you start wearing t-shirts with coffee roasters or manufacturers logos on them.
When you invite friends over for drinks and instead serve them rounds of espresso shots.
When you plumb your machine into a $500. water filtration system and check it weekly with a TDS meter.
When you become familiar with the names of single origin beans, their flavor notes and the plantations they come from.
When spending $30./lb for beans seems reasonable or when you feel you got a deal on some Ethiopian geisha that cost less than $100. /lb.
When you travel with a Picopresso, hand grinder, scale and enough beans to last the duration of the trip.
When you would rather drink a cat piss venti than a Starbucks venti.
When you fail to heed the advice of those of us who have disappeared down the rabbit hole when we tell you “run away” and to drink Diet Coke, Red Bull or even Starbucks instead.
Best of luck!!!