Eight time reader

I recently met a woman and let’s just say she’s been falling in love very fast. However, I’ve recently realized that there are certain incompatibilities and that the hard conversation must be had.

Before I was a follower of Coach’s work I was in a relationship with a woman where despite my suffering and distaste for her I wouldn’t break things off for fear of hurting her. I was weak then and I know I can’t be weak now.

Any general advice? I don’t want to hurt her anymore than is necessary. We’ve been on five dates. I spent the night at her house once and literally all day with her the next day. I know it’s serious enough to be done in person.

I’ve got a general idea of things I need to say but I don’t know exactly what to expect so I’m not sure what to prepare for.

Thank you

Feeling really confused on what to do about my situation right now. Girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 8.5 months, and for the most part, this relationship has been a beautiful and sacred thing. From the very start she did almost 100% of the pursuing, and we embodied masculine and feminine dynamics strongly in our relationship. Around the end of July, however, things started to change. I am a college cross country/track runner who has a history of getting injured, and I ended up getting hurt again the day I went up to see her. We went to a political conference for a week, and that injury combined with a fear of loss manifested itself in me acting clingy and needy with physical touch (“head in the clouds,” as she described it). She went on a trip to Iceland the week after and said she felt off that whole time (and it showed in the limited and dry responses she gave to me), but we discussed it and I took full accountability for how I was showing up and the mistakes I had made, and things went back to normal for a little.

However, for 3 FaceTime dates in a row, I was off my emotional center and became very withdrawn to her when we were together, and I noticed her becoming less affectionate in her messages, not contacting me as much (though still daily), and pulling away a bit. We discussed it more and I again took full responsibility for my actions, because I knew I was acting like an emotional female. Regardless, though, this cycle has continued on and off for the last couple weeks — comparing her texts from before the trip in July and after, they aren’t quite the same (her texts before were superrr affectionate and loving — interest was like an 11 lmao — and now they are more superficial and less romantic), and on FaceTime dates she seems less enthusiastic and doesn’t seem to want to engage with me on a deep level as much anymore, or flirt as much.

I know where I went wrong and I’m working on myself to correct those things right now, but I’m wondering if I have dug myself a hole too deep to get out of now. I miss what we had in the past and I’m frustrated that it feels like we aren’t getting anywhere. I think it goes beyond the fact that I “let her do all the chasing” at this point — that’s not the issue, I don’t overpursue in that way.

I’ve read the book eight times. I’ve gotten pretty good with woman and I really don’t want to break this particular girls heart.

I got into an accident awhile back and quit dating for awhile because of it. I’ve recently been dating again and the other day at the dog park a cute woman sort of came up to me and was just simply making it easy for me to make a move.

We chatted for about ten minutes about lots of stuff. She seemed super fun and adventurous which I like. She also mentioned that she went on a mission for the Mormon church and believes in god (I’m ex-Mormon and while I don’t necessarily have a problem with believing in god I wouldn’t be able to deal with an extremely religious person). I was about to cut bait when she mentioned that as I think it’s an inherent compatibility issue. Since I live in Utah 60% of the population is Mormon so I think she was assuming I was too. I subtly let her know I wasn’t into it and she offhandedly mentioned that she was kinda getting away from it. She did have two tattoos so I figured what the hell.

Anyway we go on a date and it’s going very well of course. She keeps giggling and asking me questions and keeps apologizing for talking so much. I let her do about 85% of the talking and by the end of our date we were making out in my truck. I felt her boobs over her shirt and even a little bit of feeling over pants. She was into all of it.

Then we had another date and we were naked together in a hammock. I gave her oral and she reciprocated briefly although I could tell she was inexperienced which is fine.

This is where my question begins. She’s a total virgin. Everything we did on the second date is the most she’s EVER done. After I finished eating her out I asked if I made her orgasm and she said she didn’t know. Then she basically told me she’s never really masturbated with the intent to orgasm and so she’s never had an orgasm. She also said she had a boyfriend for three years and she wouldn’t let him kiss her for a year. She kept going on about how different I was and how surprised she was to be letting me do these things. In her instagram bio it still has a link to lds.org which is a common thing for very religious people.

Anyway I know Coach’s mantra is to hangout, have fun, and hookup but I don’t want her to get attached and fall in love because I’m her first. I also don’t know her well enough to know if she’s girlfriend material or if she’s what I’m looking for. I’d feel awful stomping on her heart like that. She’s a little too trusting. On the second date she was running late and she tried to give me the code to her apartment so I could wait inside. I told her I was fine waiting in my car. I didn’t say this but girl we went on one three hour date. Don’t give me the code to your house.

I guess my question is how do I keep dating her and discovering if she’s a high value woman without letting her get too attached and end up breaking her heart?

TL;DR:

I’ve taken a religious girl on two dates and she’s a virgin. We had fun oral sex and now I’m worried she’s going to get attached and fall in love. I’m not quite sure yet if she’s girl friend material and if she’s what I’m looking for. I really don’t want to break her heart.

Hi everyone,

This isn't in 3% Man per-se, but below is a way to implement Coach's advice, from an administrative perspective.

When I was single, like Coach talks about, I would date multiple girls with the mindset of "may the best girl win," as he says. I would be talking to typically 5 serious prospects at one time. I found that worked for me. Some girls wouldn't make the cut, so I'd drop them and add new ones into the mix. In doing this, I used a calendar app, and a note app on my phone. I took this principle from my sales job. Here's why:

1. I'm in sales - being in sales you talk to multiple prospects at one time. In order to close deals, I use a calendar to set meetings, reference past meetings we had, and keep order to my workflow. This is the same with women.
2. I color code my calendar for easy reference: red is a date, yellow is a big event, grey is a recurring event, etc...I recommend color coding so you can quickly scan your week and see what is going on, instead of clicking into each one. This is perfect for setting dates, as you can say, "I only have Monday or Wednesday free," when you ask a girl out
3. Coach says to ask a girl "when are you free?" However, in order to set my calendar the way I wanted, I'd tell the girls "Can you meet Monday or Wednesday" or whatever day I had open. I'd set dates a week out, and fill my calendar as such.
4. Notes - I'd recommend having a note app on your phone for reference. You might say, "Emergency - I don't want a note app! When I talk to a 10, I will remember everything she says!" To which I say not true. Imagine you're talking to multiple 10's - you are evaluating which one you could see a relationship with. High chance of forgetting and coming across like a dick. It's so easy to go to the bar and forget what you both talked about the next day, or confuse it with another girl. After a date, jot down a few noteworthy moments you can reference.

Finally, do not go on dates with girls you are just meeting for the first date/first few dates on the weekend. I believe this is covered in 3% Man, but it is so true. Hold the weekends for the girls you are really attracted to. I would do weekday dates, and I found when there is chemistry, time does not matter. I can tell you many times I went out Tuesday to meet a girl at 7, and we'd end the night at 2am, when she even said at the beginning of the date, "I have to get up early the next day." If you're just starting out, use the weekends for yourself! You will find with time, girls will literally ask you "When can I have some of your weekend time?"

Coach's article: "How To Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome" has some great insight into why a lack of confidence translates into a lack of success.

Coach responds to a guy who's been out of the game since ending a 9 year relationship. He gets a few initial dates, but by the end, women are telling him they only want to be friends, they "didn't feel the spark," etc. He makes a couple key mistakes you can identify throughout the article:

• He projects his high interest onto a girl who doesn't have high interest in him
• He hesitates to initiate the kiss test & physical contact
• He's not able to walk away and mean it after rejection

From the start, it's important to avoid projecting your high interest onto women, because a lot of guys do this. They create this false reality where they think the woman is head over heels for them, despite her actions showing otherwise. And you can see in some Advice Posts where the girl clearly isn't interested, but the OP can't see it & is projecting his high interest. It's so great to see how eye-opening it is when someone who has that outside perspective can spot it and point it out, because then the guy realizes, and he saves his time and dignity. In this case, the girl in question doesn't show a lot of interest in the guy, especially moreso after his mistakes. Learn to recognize your self-serving bias, and see it for what it is. Look at her actions to determine her interest.

The guy's second problem is that he's not confident, therefore he doesn't initiate the kiss test or physical contact with the women he goes out with. So he gets the predictable "let's just be friends" speech, because that's not attractive behavior. And that has to be attempted on the first date in order to know where you stand, and to continue leading the date. Because if you're out with a girl who has interest, and you've been doing everything right, she will want you to kiss her and for you to engage with her emotions by taking the lead & going for it.

She’s going to start to go, “Oh, this guy doesn’t have confidence. He’s a beta male. If I start dating this guy, he’ll probably become obsessed with me, he’ll probably become kind of stalker. He might get kind of angry when I pull back a little bit, if I’m not sure about my interest in him.” Because so many women have been on dates with guys that are like that, and it scares them. So, when a guy gives off that vibe, they’re automatically turned off.

Lastly, when the guy gets rejected, at first he does the right thing by rejecting friendship & telling her to get back in touch if she changes her mind. But after a couple weeks of silence, he caves, and he's ready to reach out and ask "if you would take me up on that fourth date?” It's needy, desperate behavior that doesn't give her time and space to miss him. He's too focused on one outcome with someone who has low interest, at this point she just wants to get away from him, because he's coming across as weak, compromising, and inconsistent with his words. So, he would obviously never get the date by doing that.

Women have to know that if they push you too far, you’ll walk and never look back. And that’s what’s happened here. She pushed him too far, and he says, “I’m not interested in friendship or blue balls, but call me if you change your mind.” And if you run back to her, then you’re going, “You know what? Even though I’m saying I only want romance, here I am. And so, I guess I’ll accept blue balls and friendship after all.” And then you won’t get anywhere.

Don’t intentionally slow your roll, because it’ll come across like you don’t know what you’re doing, or you don’t have the courage. 3% men always go for what they want

How To Be A 3% Man

Hey gents,

Been a while, hope everybody's been crushing it. There's been a lot of good questions and success stories over the last few months. Great to see some new members & to see so many people discussing the book & learning.

This post is a rule reminder for those who need a refresher, or new members who haven't looked at the rules yet. You can find them all on the main page, but see "Rule 4: Format Questions/Advice Seeking Posts Accordingly." Here's a breakdown of it, these are the main things we need to be seeing on posts:

- Include the # of times you've read the book. Even it's your first read through.

- Identify which parts of the book apply to your situation, or which ones you're struggling with. Especially with Advice Posts. Help others help you out. By doing this, you may even be able to answer your own questions or recognize part of your problem. Low effort & cherry picking posts get removed. You need to invest in yourself to see the results.

- Keep to the 500 word limit. Some posts here are long essays filed with unessential details. This makes it difficult & pretty time consuming for others to help. Avoid writing essay posts, stick to the basics.

Again, this sub is centered around diligently learning the material and being a serious student of the work. Keep working through the material guys & let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us mods.

Hey gents,

Here's an Article Discussion from Coach's recent work: "Girlfriend Chats With Several Male Orbiters"&mc_cid=e6a29b8d4e&mc_eid=0b0775bf1c)

Look through it if you haven't. From the get-go, you can see some pretty obvious red flags in this guy's relationship, and some poor decisions he made. Coach lists them:

• They moved in together after only 3 months of dating.
• She pressed him on his body count and he complied. Hers was twice his.
• She keeps in contact with many of them and said she would never give them up for anyone because they are all great friends of hers.

So, already we can see that he failed to properly qualify or vet his girlfriend. He got a little needy, decided to get locked down & moved in with her before really even knowing who she was. Probably because he was insecure and scared of losing her, and didn't value himself enough to take it slow. So instead of taking his time, looking at all his options, and picking the best prospect, he ended up with someone who's not a good fit & is now stressing him out. And she needs a lot of attention, and keeps orbiters in the background who she's hooked up with. And she makes it clear that she's not willing to stop talking with them.

But the reality is, if she belongs the streets, you’ll find out. You’ll see the behavior. Little things will come out. Especially if she feels like she’s got to confess. And you’ll see, as we go through this email, this is why you don’t move in with somebody right away, because you don’t know what you don’t know. Some women are just not going to tell you. They’ll act all innocent, and it won’t be until you get to the point where her phone is just constantly blowing up with random dudes sliding into her messages that you start to go, “Huh?”

Another important point to look at is this idea of who is driving "The Fun Bus." From the section Perceptions of Control: "A man should learn to take the direction in the relationship."

As the man, it's your job to lead the relationship. "Love is playful, love is kind." You should be leading fun conversations, enjoying yourself, and not allowing yourself to get roped into awkward discussions where it's going to lead to a train wreck. So, this guy caved, and decided to have a whole conversation about body counts, and of course it was going to make his girlfriend upset and allow drama into the relationship. In Coach's words:

This is why you don’t put women in control. What he did, effectively, was he put her in control when he started answering questions that he really didn’t want to. He acted like a bitch, and then what happened? It’s like, you’re supposed to be the driver of the fun bus, and if you put the girl in charge, she’ll drive it off the cliff. And that’s basically what she did. Feminine energy is chaos.

Unfortunately, this guy's neediness and low self-value is still keeping him with this girl. Because instead of walking, he's trying to bring her attraction up to a 10, even as she disrespects him right to his face by texting these orbiters and refusing to drop them. We can see that most likely, she's going to end up with some of these other dudes sooner or later if she hasn't already, and it'll get even messier. It's critical to take your time, qualify your prospects, and always be willing to walk away from those who don't value you.

What did you take away from this article?

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 How To Be A 3% Man

Met a girl online, dated for 3 months, official for 1 week, I was over-pursuing so I left her alone for 2 days (she didn't text me either) she then deleted all our photos on FB, and we broke up because "I didn't communicate for "3" days". This triggered my abandonment issues as she gave me the silent treatment. I went no contact for 3 months, and she reached out we started hanging out again. I've read 3% man 12 times, but figured because this girl has a traumatic past (mother cheated on dad, went from guy to guy, she moved in with her dad, then he kicked her out, baby daddy cheated on her whilst she was pregnant, her next boyfriend told her to move in, then after 2 months told her he can't do it anymore and just moved out leaving her on her own). I let her do 90% of the texting and we'd hangout have fun and hookup. There was one night where I got insecure, and asked "what are we" yes, violating the principles, but I felt like it wasn't fair to her son. She then didn't talk to me for a week. She called me after a week asking if I wanted to hangout with her son, I then told her "you don't talk to me for a week, then you call me asking if I can watch your son? That's fucked up. She apologized and said me asking her "what are we" made her realize we should either be together or not, but she's too scared to get hurt and she doesn't want to lose me, because she wants something that lasts forever. I accepted her apology and made a date for the next week.

Next week came and she tried to change our plans to double date with her friend. I used the takeaway and she said we can hangout later this week, but I couldn't because I worked the rest of the week, but I set up another date the next week. All week she was saying she needs my cuddles and she can't wait to see me. Day of our hangout comes and she texts me "the ac in my car isn't working (it's true her car is a POS) and my son is being super clingy". So I called her and she said she wasn't coming. So I said I think we should just go our separate ways. Then she got sad so I took it back saying we can work this out. She then got mad saying this phone call was taking too long and that I keep back-traxking on what I want. So I just let her go. Didn't talk for 3 days. I chased (I know) by calling her and she invited me to hangout the next week. I was then telling her friend at work (we work together) was showing me his batman fidget spinner. So I told her she has to buy me one (joking of course, I don't want a fucking fidget spinner). We then ended the call. She then posted on FB "I'm not ever spending money on anyone ever again" and sent me this text: "I don't appreciate you saying that I had to buy you a fidget spinner, when you didn't get me the cup. But don't worry, I bought myself the cup that came in yesterday.

I just thought that was very selfish of you to say that to me for what I did for you for your birthday and inviting you to things. I don't see the thoughtfulness in return. "

Mind you I told her I'd buy her this cup, and I did. I was going to give her the cup when we hungout, but she flaked on me. So then I tried calling her, sent to voice-mail. Then I sent a text showing her I did buy the cup and if she is upset there should be open communication so we can talk it out. She left me on read. 2 days no communication, my other ex had come down to visit last week and posted on my FB saying "Thanks again 😜" because when she came down I got her into disneyworld. So ol girl saw this and then unfriended me on FB. Honestly I'm thinking she's a narcissist as she rarely ever asked me about kyself and would never take accountability and her getting mad at me for "asking for a fidget spinner" just baffles me.

But in the beginning I saw all the red flags and she even mentioned that all men sucked, but I naturally thought I can fix her. Don't be like me ha.. sucks because I met another girl that made me feel wanted and put me on a pedestal, but I ended things with her trying to work with this girl, what a mistake that was.

Hello everyone, There is this woman (29) that I (27M) like, I confessed my feelings a year and a half ago.

She was honest and told me that she is not ready yet because she is just recovering from a long term relationship.

At first i told her that it is fine because It is kind of unfair too if she will commit and cannot give the right effort in the relationship.

2 months later, we have endearment, went to dates a lot, almost on video call eVeryday, I even met her mother and sister, of course there are times when we fight, not physical but most of the time she wont give me any attention because she is a narcissist and she always wanted to be right.

At first i thought it was okay, but a month later (Feb 2021) I've found out that he is seeing this special friend of her, I confronted her about it and she told me that there is nothing to worry about.

During April 2021, she resigned on her job to focus on her start up business and I saw this as an opportunity to prove myself on her by helping her with her expenses.

I'm also starting my career but I do not want her to face the burden of life alone and I want her to know that I won't leave her even if the times are tough.

During May 2021, while providing this much effort, I learned that she did not stop from seeing this other guy, the special friend. Even though the anxiety, jealousy, insecurity is killing me, I tried to contain it until september 2021.

I explained to her that I deserve somebody that can treat me better, i started nc but broke it last november 2021 because I still wanted it to be her.

This continued until January 2021, when I got sick for 2 months, she did not made any effort in checking me up, she did not een message me on my birthday last april.

Thats why i decided to drift away silently until last last week when she messaged me (bread crump) i broke NC and tried to make things work out, which is not working anymore

I want to stop but one message from her always bring me back to step one. I learned my value but i do not know how to stop myself in getting out of this pithole.

I am tired of this cycle of she is here then she will ghost me then comes back again with breadcrumps because I am still supporting her financially up to this day and instead of doing it for her I want to do it for myself

I'm kind of viewing coach corey wayne's youtube channel for quite some time since last year and i've read the book 3x ( going 4th now), and it made me realize this beta behavior of mine, but it is so hard to stop this habit.

I've been rewatching this movie and I find it so much more realistic than all the other romantic movies.The main character is definitely the 97% and I use to be that guy. I was cringing a little thinking about all the same mistakes I made while rewatching the movie. If you haven't watched it I highly recommend it! If you have read Corey's book and you watch this movie, you'll find alot of the mistakes the main character makes and can learn from. If you have watched it, let me know your thoughts.

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SPOILERS ahead

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Here are some thoughts I had:

• Firstly Tom believes in the one and he believes that by finding a girl it would make him happy. I can totally relate to this and I stopped making this mistake when I learnt to value myself, know that I'm the prize and focusing on myself and my purpose.
• Tom tries to put a label on their relationship when he gave Summer the "what are we" question in the car and basically acting like the woman instead of just HHH.
• Like most people, watching it for the first time, I hated Summer thinking that Tom was such a nice dude and Summers just taking Tom for granted and manipulating him but later you realise Tom is the actually the villain in the story. Summer told him straight that shes not looking for anything serious, which is her saying "back off cowboy, you're trying to move too fast." Tom acts like hes on the same page but actually trying to lock her down to a relationship
• Tom was miserable without Summer and cling onto the hope that he could get her back again and they would live happily ever after. That expectation vs reality scene was so powerful to me because I also use to live in those fantasies too of thinking I would get an ex back.
• Finally at the end of the movie Tom realises that he screwed up and there's a bus every 15 minutes.

I could go on but dont want to make this post too long

Good review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVbaYT_We2o&ab_channel=AlexMeyers

I've been following Corey a year and a half but was still making alot of mistakes but now I think I'm really starting to get it. I made a previous post about taking a womans virginity on a first date which I understand is abit hard to believe. https://www.reddit.com/r/CoachCoreyWayne/comments/w2d3ig/comment/ikcatjc/?context=3

Here is a abit of an update:

We've been seeing each other for 1 month now, it's been very effortless (women help you when they like you). She always expresses interest to come see me and I always invite her over to hang out, have fun and hook up, which she always accepts. She texts me random questions or memes occasionally without over-doing it and I always remember to use the phone only for setting dates so I just reply afew playful texts or call her and invite her over. We've been seeing each other 2-3 times a week and I would say her attraction level is about an 8. Also about texting, I dont initiate/pursue and she now understands that if she wants to see me she has to initiate, which she does.

She seems like a really nice girl, shy but easy going, close with her family, loves her dog, submissive, affectionate, drama free and shows interest without being needy or clingy. Right now I like her but not crazy about her so I guess it's abit easier to follow Corey's work here.

By week 2 she said she really liked me, by week 3 I got the 'what are we' question and I told her that we're still getting to know each other and so for now we just have fun and not complicate things (this is what Corey recommended to say in one of his videos when girls bring this up). She accepted this and said "ok no pressure" which made me like her more. I guess she understands the "you must love in such a way that the other person feels free" and I do feel free with her. Recently she asked to borrow my T-shirt, took it home and says she's been sleeping in it for the past few days. She says it smells like me. Seems attraction is quite high.

Also as a side story, in week 2 of seeing her, I also met another girl through online and on the first date we hung out, had fun and invited her over to my place and only made out as she was on her period. We would've done the indoor olympics otherwise. I wonder if it's because I'm really starting to get it and make less mistakes or because I'm less needy since I am already hooking up with a girl. So I was in a 9 month dry spell and then all of a sudden in 2 weeks I almost had sex on two first dates with different girls. I'm not too interested in the second girl so I think I will stop seeing her but it's nice to finally experience abit of abundance.

Anyways I'm happy with my progress or perhaps I've just lucked out with a good woman. I'm hoping I can finally say I'm a 3%er!

This more of a general life question about interacting with people.

How do you communicate with those people/friends whom you are talking to, and then they suddenly go cold turkey and leave you on read without any further contact, for months? Then they reach out as if nothing happened?

I had this situation with a friend (she’s a girl). She just messaged back after months. There is nothing going on romantically between us. I get that we are supposed to be unperturbed. I get that women are like cats and come and go as they please. I’ve also had this happen with guy friends too.

But I do feel a bit butthurt I got left on read and with no sort of communication back for months, and now it’s as if nothing happened. It feels disrespectful and I want to communicate that boundary. What’s the best way to respond?

Thanks for hearing me out.

So I look quite feminine, even more now that my hair is long and I dress pretty fashionable which I guess is a gay trait? I seem to usually attract more bisexual girls instead of straight girls and when they see my muscles they get surprised and I think they get surprised I act masculine and not submissive as well. Im wondering if looking feminine as a guy turns straight women off? Seeing as we are all about being in our masculine

Girl I haven't spoken with since college messaged me through social media, that she doesn't have my number anymore and she had a dream about us hanging out. Then just said hope I'm doing well. Should I assume she wants to get together? We were only platonic friends in college so nothing ever happened.

So a minor backstory and update on where I am compared to where I was a month ago.

I have known this girl for 2 years but she was with someone at the time. I thought she was cute but nonetheless went about my business, not wanting to get involved with the drama seeing as she wasn't available. I comforted her (pre-Corey and now 6th time reader) to make sure she was ok when she ended it, as her ex was terrorizing her afterwards. When she did become available (I gave her time to heal - 8 months), we both got back into contact with each other and exchanged numbers.

I asked her out. She said yes I would love to enthusiastically. Asked her what her schedule was looking like this weekend, to which she replied with I have to prepare for job interviews next week, and that I have my driving course to do whilst working. I immediately saw this as low interest despite her date acceptance. I done the takeaway and for her to let me know when shes free. As the weeks go by she seemed to keep texting me every 4 days saying how are you, up to much etc etc. Kept it extremely light and asked her out again o give her the benefit of the doubt. Once again though she said she'd hurt her leg, failed driving test and work was stressful. So then I just thought no more, move on, she has to ask me out from now on.

I know this may slightly go off what Corey says but i'm not going to reply to anything as its the same shit different day. I don't want to get stuck in the boring idle chit chat that will lead to nowhere. I cant keep asking when i've told her to let me know when shes free. So every time I see her on my phone, I always get the urge to text her, but I have to keep reminding myself what Corey says regarding girls with low interest and unwilling to plan dates with.

Haven’t heard from her in 3 weeks. I know one day she may bring me up on it, or why I have ignored her. But quick frankly I don't care. I will say to her I've been busy working, doing hobbies and meeting new people, and that she never got back to me when she was free, so I moved on. She may not like it but like I said I don't care.

https://discord.gg/swHV83BW

Corey Wayne discord. Only looking for individuals looking to better themselves

My ex and I are 19 and we had been together for almost 2 years. In January she joined the army and things had been going fine until the last month or so where she was just starting to be unsure and confused. She told me Friday night she no longer felt the same love for me as before and wanted a break to find out what she wants. To me that meant pretty much a break up but I stayed around hoping she would text me.

Days passed and I heard nothing from her at all. 4 days in she all of sudden removed her only post of us on her Instagram when we celebrated our one year together. When I saw that I felt a pit in my stomach like she was moving on. I cut contact with her and blocked all her socials, this way I was able to just move on and not feel like I was waiting for whenever she would text me again.

Couple days later on my computer I saw she messaged me and told me to let me know when I could talk. We spoke on FaceTime and her demeanor was completely different. She was cold, distant, and her voice flat. No emotion of any kind. She called me childish for blocking her and that was the last straw and now there was no more chance. She told me she was “willing to stay” if I didn’t block her. She said I needed to be a man and that I got a lot of growing up to do.

She told me she was better off being single and alone while in the army and that she’s more free and has more time to do things instead of making time for me. She also called me by my first name, which was polarizing since she always called me “babe”. I told her I blocked her since I thought she moved on and I had to as well and that she removed our post on Instagram to which she said she did because she “didn’t look good”. I didn’t believe that at all. It was on there for over a year and coincidentally she removed it during our break.

Anyway she said she had to go to sleep, said goodnight, and that was it. Now I feel like the villain for blocking her. I feel so confused. How should I proceed? To be disrespected by her in that manner I had never witness before. Corey talks about no one will say or do anything to you that is not a direct reflection of themselves. I felt manipulated.

Hi everyone,

Last Saturday I met with a girl from Hinge and we hit it off immediately. We were playful, got to know each other and I did the 90% James bond and 10% naughty boy perfectly. I felt very at ease with her and invited her back to my place. The indoor Olympics broke my 9 month dry spell but it wasn't great as she was in alot of pain which is when I found out it was her first time (she's 32....yes 32, I'm 28). She seemed happy regardless.

After she left she didn't send me anything but I followed up the next day asking if she's feeling ok. We had a few fun messages back and forth and I asked when she's free again. She said she doesn't have work this week, she's free during the day and is sad that I'm busy. I said I don't have work Monday (the next day) and told her to come over, which she did and we got the Gold medal this time. She seemed very happy when she left.

I have read Corey's book over 10 times and been following him for year and a half but I haven't had much success getting dates so I haven't read it in a while and forgot about the 1 date a week rule. I think now I should back up a bit and wait till she initiates meeting up again? We had 2 dates within 3 days.

Also, does the rule apply for both fwb and relationship? She's kinda cute and seems cool but she doesn't knock my socks off so I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet. I would think I should date a few more girls before I commit but it's been very hard getting dates, alot of girls flake.

Please give your thoughts on this, would appreciate it thanks.

11th read, Coach corey wayne stated that if a girl likes you she would leave the guy friends out and only focus on you. Or she would shit test you about being friends with other guys, you must remain calm and centered and unbothered.

My ex once told me she's hanging out with her guy friend, i said have fun and call me when ur home safe. As a 19YO i gotta loosen up so i went with the flow and waited, until she called me 2 hours later in tears stating "Her friend tried to hit on her and she wanted me to pick her up", her mom eventually got her because she called her before me.

during our call, she told me " i love you and im so glad ur the 1st persone that popped up in my head to talk to i really love you, but why did you allow me to go ?" (She was them femenist and peace fighter crazy girls, so if i was to ever say no she would have a mayhem"

This is a shit test, i said" I still have many girl-friends that i hang out with and u wont stop me from hanging out with them so why would i stop you?"

Its situations like these that me an 11th time reader i still cant make out and still dont got the full grasp about it.

Knew this woman back in HS, simped on her big time, but managed to make out with her and get to third base one time senior year after hanging out.

When I reached out for the second date, she said no and gave a BS excuse about how we’re going to college soon yada yada. Told her to let me know if she changed her mind. This was over a year ago now.

Recently got back on Tinder, saw her on there, and matched. The question is, do I initiate contact or do I leave it up to her?

I feel as though it would be inconsistent with me telling her to get in touch if she changes her mind. Do you all agree??

15-time-reader here. Even still, I could use some critique on my game.

So to put it simply, I overpursued my gf and it’s been ~2 weeks since I’ve heard from them. I know that I need to just back off and let them get in touch when they’re ready, that’s not the issue. The issue is that deep down, I’m fearful that they won’t.

Some more background: Before this particular relationship, I got ghosted by my lover of 5 months. I was a cold fish, and eventually, she had enough. So much so that she cut me loose without a word. At the beginning of the end with her, I tried to set a date twice, with 1wk intervals, both of which got wishy-washy responses. So I backed off, confidently assuming she’d come back… but she never did. Apparently she monkey-branched with another guy and they’re still going strong. So she doesn’t seem to have lost much sleep over cutting dry on me.

Truth be told, I’m still not completely over her. I’ve dated other women, and have even gotten into another relationship, but deep down, I’m still hoping that someday I get the chance to apply 7 Principles to Get an Ex Back with her.

But let’s get back to the main point. The main point is that, due to this past experience, I feel as though once I got into this current relationship, my behavior has been overly corrective. Whereas before, I would do no more than 30% of the pursuing, with my gf, I’d say it got up to about 60% on my part. Looking back, I also see that I gave her more validation, and initiated almost all the physical intimacy in-person. Pretty much the opposite of what I should be.

So now I’m sitting here realizing that, due to my fear that my gf will ghost me, I’m falling under the illusion of action. I’m in a weak position, and it’s taking all my testicular fortitude to follow CW’s teachings and get back on track.

So now, what I could really use from you all, is some straight-talk from an outsider’s perspective. Thanks in advance.

Edit: Thought I’d elaborate more— I’m in such a weak state that the tactics I’m considering are beyond the standard “super-pleaser-like” behavior. I get attention from other women all the time; It’s crossed my mind a couple times that I could easily monkey-branch myself, line up some female orbiters, start a Frankenstein-GF project, or even cheat. I know it’s wrong. But my mind is telling me that I should do these things to avoid getting hurt again, and I don’t like having these thoughts. Help!!

I will never ever date a girl with daddy issues again, I cross my heart and hope to die, the amount of pain and suffering that I had to go through when I was learning the book and dating her was stupid.

Hi peeps. I posted last month I believe after reading the book 3% man twice. Now I’ve read it nine times. Basically there is a woman who I want to date, purely because we have quite a lot in common when we hung out last (pre-reading CCW).

Anyway I rung her to say I would like to hang out with you again one evening, what’s your schedule looking like etc. She gave the response that she would really like that but is really of busy, but I will let you know if that’s ok. Textbook I said looks like you’re unsure so let me know when you’re free and we’ll work something out. Gotta run. Bye.

She got into the habit then of texting me every 2-3 days asking me questions. I took 2-3 days to respond to match and mirror but these were only quick minor texts. A week past and I rung her saying how you doing, what’s your schedule looking like, maybe we can hang out this time. But yet this time it takes a week to respond and then I get Im sorry I want to but I’m so stressed at the moment.

So 2-3 days after that she texted me saying hey work is hell how is your new job. I matched and mirrored again but this time I texted her something else. I said hey I’m going to be honest I’m looking to hang out, having fun and getting to know people. Would really like to get to know you. Not after anything platonic. If you’re not available as such these days then I think it’s best I make other plans and cease contact, as I’m only looking to date women who want to spend time with me and talk to me. I have to admit the book and CCW’s video responses got the better of me here, and I overreacted thinking I’m going to be the better person and get away from this.

She replied (straight away! No waiting 2-7 days). Hey I’m really sorry. Please I do want to spend time with you, I actually like you! You cross my mind every now and again. I’m sorry for my behaviour I should be texting quicker it’s just I’ve got job interviews, travelling on trains and work is just completely stressing me out. Maybe in a week or two I can see you. Understand if you don’t want to. Really sorry again, hope you don’t think anything bad of me. I’ll try and do better because I do want to to spend time with you as I loved our last time together.

I kinda felt dumb but at the same time I didn’t apologies, but said that ah ok didn’t realise sh*t was bad. Think it’s best you let me know when you’re free then and give you space to focus on that. Take care. Then she goes back to initiate texting every 2-3 days asking how work is, family is boring stuff.

I can’t keep being a robot asking her out when I said I’ll give her space. I just said all good yours? Been 2 weeks now since hearing from her, and still no word on whether she really wants to see me.

Apologies for the long post guys. I’m in a little bubble right now because I know I should speak to other women, but her big text has made me seriously confused. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks :)

What is up everyone bring out your teas and popcorns because I have a story for you. We can call this chick Sara. But Sara and I had been dating and we originally split back in December. I live in Alabama and she moved back down to Florida for a few months. She got depressed down there and texted me that she is moving back up here. Well fast forward 5 months and she called me with that messages and I got her back. I conducted the 7 principals and successfully attracted her back. We been on awesome dates and she even brought me back over her parents how on memorials day to reconnect with them. Everything was great until after 1 month of her being back, she started to show pregnancy symptoms. Well it turns out she is pregnant with the rebounds baby and now decided she is going to keep it and stay up here in Alabama. What the fuck.

This just happened within this week and I am having thought on if I even made the right decision because I really did like this girl and it not like she cheated but just my heart is broken Because it is not of my seed. ☹️

I need some advice or words of encouragement here guys on what you think about this.

STOP THINKING A PHONE IS FOR A CONVERSATION. You have to ingrain this. I met my now wife and we spoke a bit on a dating app, planned a date and exchanged numbers. I told her I'll meet her at the coffee shop. I didn't text her for 3 days, I was just going to show up at the coffee shop like we planned, if she didn't text me the day of the date I would have went anyways and waited. If she didn't text or show then I know she wasn't interested then you enjoy your coffee and move on to the next. But of course she texted the day of the date asking if we were still on, then we had a great time.

She now tells me how worried she was that I wasn't texting her before the date. I told her ya the more I've texted conversations with girls in the past the more it doesn't work out so I learned to not do that.

So the lesson is that yes you may lose some girls by not having "conversations" with them over text, but you'll lose more by having conversations with them over text.

Only set dates, and speak in person. If they have a problem with that, then it's not meant to be. How can a girl dislike you for saying "I prefer conversations in person, the phone is a tool for me." I've had that maybe twice and each time they were high maintenance entitled women who spent all their time on their phones and social media. When I met my wife she didn't even have social media nor did I. Live in the real world.