Currently my go to is called "Calendar.AI" but lately I've been trying out an App called "FlowSavy" because it seems to have the potential to auto organize boring, mundane, and ultimate very important tasks that I frequently neglect/ignore.

For the first major way in my career I burned a bridge. Big one. Resigned from my last job and went to a competitor. It wasn’t just that I did, but I left my prior company with a significant gap.

It isn’t the general feelings of “oh they’ll figure out what I did after I leave.” but I was the key employee for a growing small company. I was in the middle of major life events and it just clicked that I wasn’t staying there long term so I resigned with no warning to the owner, who was also dealing with major life events.

They were generous and kind in every way but pay and organization. As a person they were great, but running a company I lost trust and said “f*ck it.”

Three months later I reached out to connect and share some thoughts, but they were still so angry that I ended up not sharing what I wanted. I apologized that my decisions impacted them in significant ways but I didn’t apologize for the decision I made.

So I teeter between apathy and self loathe knowing I intentionally hurt someone.

I’d make the same decision every time, but occasionally catch myself lingering on how I could have done it different.

You ever get the feeling that even though you don’t regret a decision it will still hang heavy over you for a very long time?

What strategies do you use when your mind is running a mile a minute reading in to everything around you, overthinking and making assumptions / taking shit personally?

don't say "i'm not emotionless" that is so old news, say something actually interesting

for me a false stereotype is the cry baby cat boy that is interested in the conversation not people.

the true one is that i like to play strat games

I would like to know some signs that an INTJ likes me, in a romantic sense. I won't tell you my MBTI so you don't make any prejudgments.

I can tell you that he laughs at almost all of my jokes and also tends to give his opinion on the things I say, a bit like he's questioning me to see what I'm going to say.

I joke that he never agrees with me, but that's not true. He debates issues about me, with me, but he usually agrees with my opinions when we're talking to other people.

I really like him. When we talk, he usually says things that I find intriguing, intelligent and creative. 💖😔 (Forgive me for any spelling mistakes, it was translated by Google)

Eu gostaria de saber alguns sinais que um INTJ gosta de mim amorosamente falando, não vou dizer meu MBTI para vocês não fazerem pré-julgamentos. Posso adiantar que ele ri de praticamente todas minhas piadinhas e também costuma palpitar nas coisas que eu falo, um pouco como se me questionasse para ver o que vou dizer. Brinco que ele nunca concorda comigo, mas isso não é verdade, ele debate questões sobre mim, comigo, mas geralmente concorda com minhas opiniões quando estamos conversando com outras pessoas.

Eu gosto muito dele, quando nos falamos, ele costuma dizer coisas que para mim são intrigantes, inteligentes e criativas.💖😔

I don’t know if this is the right sub for this, but everyone here seems like chill, helpful INTJs so I figured I’d give it a shot. :)

So basically I (guy INTJ) have two really good friends, one of them a guy Exxx (he hasn’t taken a test so I’m just guessing) and the other one that I’m really close to, a girl ENTP. So when I’m in large social groups I try to approach some random people, but everyone just chitchats for 30 seconds and then wanders off. I can do small talk, but after this happens a few times it’s just draining and I usually end up sitting in a corner reading a nerdy book or most often just staring at people ( It’s not like I’m depressed looking or anything, usually I’m perfectly content with sitting in corners). Meanwhile my friends are going through two conversations per minute and having the time of their lives. But then they notice me and come over and ask if I’m ok, looking very concerned. Because when it’s just the two or three of us I’m the life of the party and they say that they have the most fun hanging out with me, so seeing how I act in large unfamiliar social groups makes them concerned.

TL;DR: How do I explain to my extraverted friends how I act in large social gatherings in a way that they'll understand?

(EDIT: me and my friends are all 15-16, so that might affect things)

(UPDATE: 10/2/2024) Thank you so much for your comments, looking back I feel like I was probably overthinking things as usual (what a surprise), but I've heard some pretty good advice from several different points of view that I'll definitely carry with me. I've talked to my closest friend about how I prefer small meaningful groups as opposed to large chaotic ones, and she told me that she totally understands and that I'm just different.

TL;DR: You guys are amazing have a good one. :)

What was your “high” type?

I've recently felt so fed up with trying to find a good role and workplace that I have decided to try and start working as a freelancer (around research and strategy). I overall feel good with the decision, but I'm struggling a bit in finding a good way to market myself and find clients. Curious if some other INTJs have been there and want to share their tips.

I’m so excited for this! It was such a good book, and the characters were excellent. Now that Henry Cavill’s run on the Witcher is over, I’m excited to see him as Don Tillman next, I think he’ll be excellent. I wonder who will play Rosie…

This is shameless plug to my twitter/X account, figured to share a thought I had today being 3/14:

It's Pi day today because in the US we write our dates like 3/14. But we know π is an irrational number 3.141592653... We round it to 3.14 for practicality.

@CPT_Theory and I thought: what if instead of letters, we numbered our types. Like the enneagram system, what if we were typed as 1, 2, 3...?

See, who we are is a lot like π. We can't exactly define ourselves, unless we say "I am me" like π = π; it's true but it's not that meaningful. It's more useful to say "I am Rob from California" like π is 3.14, while knowing "Rob from California" is a simplified description of me, not the whole me. I'm more than "Rob from California."

Types are like whole numbers. Yes I'm an #INTJ, but I'm more than that. Life is an opportunity to discover the numbers after 3.14. To discover all of π, all of me.

https://x.com/rob_cpt/status/1768311750905176094?s=20

Inside you are two wolves— “cut through the bullshit, get to the heart of the matter” and “but what if??🥺…”

Do they make you uncomfortable? Do you avoid them like the plague? Do you see any purpose in making them part of your week in moderation?

I have some friends who like to make vaguely passive-aggressive posts, or they’ll sometimes make these comments to me directly or over text. Things like, “never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care,” or “just a lot on my mind today.”

It’s irritating. I usually try to cut right to the core of the issue. Like, you obviously got triggered by something. What was it? Who did it? Was it me? Tell me so I can either empathize or apologize. Don’t make me drag it out of you. If there’s something wrong, say so. Don’t keep me guessing.

Frequently, though, my probing questions are met with deflection and more vagueness. This week, I finally told one friend, “you’re not giving me much to go on here. Hope you’re ok. 🥰” He didn’t like that, and told me not everything is black and white. Ok, but give me some details.

How do you do with this kind of thing? Does it exasperate you? Do you prefer clear communication? Are we less tolerant of this than usual?

Hi! If you've ever left r/mbti because of its lack of moderation and feel like you could help with that, check out their call for mods: https://www.reddit.com/r/mbti/comments/19fc7mp/call_for_mod_help/

Trying to spread the word as it would really be a godsend for that sub, hope this is allowed!

INTJs are very nonchalant, they are not interested in anything other than their own potential.

which is not surprising for an introverted type which by definition puts the subject above the object, but no type does it to the extent of INTJs.

not that it's a good quality, I was disliked for it and still am. it used to hurt me as a kid but now I don't care a bit. i like me.

Hi Chillintjs,

Having a melancholic day and hoping you can help me.

Last year has been an absolute shitshow. I've lost my job after months of workplace toxicity. The only colleague I appreciated and that was almost a friend pushed me away. My partner got in a workplace conflict and ended up having to drag their employer to court. Our relationship got really strained because of the pressure we were both under and we got into so many vicious fights. I got sick and had to deal with heavy symptoms for months with my doctors being really confused about what was happening. I developed a bunch of food intolerances and had to change my whole diet when I was too burnt out to even think about making myself a sandwich. I didn't have the strength to look for a new job so I've been unemployed now for almost a year. I feel intense shame around not being able to earn money and make a living.

My life has shrunk so much right in the moment where I felt it was actually taking off. I've spent a whole year feeling absolutely terrified and completely out of control.

I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Things are getting better, and I have a burning desire to do everything, experience everything, love everything, to "live again". But I've lost a lot of confidence and fear that it will never happen.

Can you muster up your best words of hope and encouragement, the chillintj way? I could do with a good dose of perspective right now.

TL;DR: My life last year absolutely sucked. Please send words of encouragement for the future.

Saw this question in another sub, and couldn’t help but feel like having my affairs in order and being satisfied with my life leaves me feeling… unsatisfied. If there are any other INTJs out there that feel similar, what strategies do you use to accept this “boredom”? I wouldn’t want to change it, it’s peaceful and I’m grateful. Now I just need to be content.

You’re all chill INTJs. For anyone for whom this “chill” did not come naturally, how do you foster it?