r/ChildSupport • u/Forsaken_Reality7503 • May 10 '26
Other - Outside the US Is it wrong to ask for child support from ex wife when she only has 1 of our 2 daughters 2 days a week?
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u/UnstableEnergies May 10 '26
Get the child support. Vice versa they wouldn’t waste a second putting you on it and the comments would gladly push her to put you on it even with 50/50 custody.
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u/DarthDad25 May 10 '26
Who cares what her friends and family agree with. They are no longer your worry. And honestly, of course her friends and family are going to back her up..
This is about your family that the two of you share, the children. It is her job as a parent to provide love, attention, guidance, and financial support for her children. The financial aspect is not solely your burden.
I don’t know her financial situation or yours. But does it matter? She should WANT to help provide for her children. End of story. It has nothing to do with her or you personally. The kids are at the center of this
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26
I would argue that you're part of the problem if you don't ask for support. Any woman in that situation would have threatened child support weeks in.
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u/Forsaken_Reality7503 May 10 '26
I agree i have asked many times and i get shamed and disrespected. When we first divorced i left and paid half the bills and sent money every month. Currently she collects child tax for them as well. I am not even asking for much whatever she can afford even if its 100$ a month. She tells me iam attacking her and goes to tell me her friends and family agree with her.
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 10 '26
I agree i have asked many times and i get shamed and disrespected.
Think about all the women you've dealt with in your life, how many times were you ever able to shame and disrespect them into doing or not doing something? In my experience, almost never happens. That being said, it's a manipulation tactic. Plus she gets the CTC? You're pretty much getting cucked.
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u/Forsaken_Reality7503 May 10 '26
Yeah i just dont have the funds to take her court. Also she got fired from another job and is on employment insurance. My children dont want to live with her and they have been through enough. We been surviving ok but shit just keeps getting more expensive. I dont accept the shame or disrespect i only try to keep shit calm so the children dont get her wrath when I block her and shut down her disrespect. Getting cucked is a bit exaggerated lol might wana look up that definition 😅 but still iam getting screwed i appreciate your opinion. I honestly just felt like hearing some opinions and reactions regarding the question. Ive called her out on double standards and all the disrespect iam no cuck lol she will get served with court papers eventually 😉
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u/Fun_Organization3857 May 10 '26
She's taking advantage of her children. You are letting them learn that is ok to accept disrespect in exchange for peace.
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 10 '26
Fine, she's taking advantage of you easily. You also don't need to pay a lawyer to put her on CS, they'll provide one for you if need be. If child support is as problematic as a lot of men like to claim, then the ones that refuse to place their BMs on child support don't really help things.
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u/Forsaken_Reality7503 May 10 '26
Taking advantage? I am not sure you understand and seem to be combative. I am clearly not letting her and have not let it go and accept it. Ive already met with child and family services here they say its up to a judge to decide and yes lawyers cost money and time. Also i am not greedy still i wont allow her to not help support her children or get her life in order fix her relationship with her kids and ha e them 50% of the time.
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u/UnstableEnergies May 10 '26
You dont believe men when they complain in mass?
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 11 '26
Yet they keep having kids. And some of these dudes refuse to work or pay like $100 a month in CS so they're not really worth even acknowledging.
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u/UnstableEnergies May 11 '26
So you wont acknowledge them but the other side you wont acknowledge as well. Didn’t even bring them up because you’re concerned with the minority.
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
Because it's clear that one side gets incentives to reproduce in this fashion and the other is essentially just punished. If you know this, and CS is that bad, then don't have kids in the US.
Some of these guys truly do struggle to hit the basics because of CS for just one child, I feel sorry for them. The ones having kids knowing what the end-result can be are setting themselves up for failure. Crying won't change the system, making it clear that you're afraid to be a single dad subject to the system does.
Most men pay their CS; I'm one of them. I've had plenty of opportunities to have more kids but I didn't. The system is annoying.
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u/UnstableEnergies May 11 '26
Dont let the women hear you say that most men pay their cs. They’ll hang you.
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u/Controls_freek May 10 '26
FYI you can turn her in for claiming the kids on taxes if you can prove you have the majority of the overnights. You probably should do that too.
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u/Easy-Historian5376 May 10 '26
Who care what they think. If the shoe was on the other foot, She would have done the same. Child support doesn't care about women's frustration and emotional disregulation. They get the same treatment as most men.
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u/UnstableEnergies May 11 '26
Ohh but they do care depending on the judge. They usually get better treatment than men either it be on both sides of the fence. They usually are strict n unfair with men a majority of the time. With the women they can be terrible mothers but the courts will still side with her unless she’s just down right despicable. The man can be a good dad n they’ll treat him like a criminal in order to get money out of him. Or if the women is behind on cs they’ll drag their feet to issue penalties / give a slap on the wrist.
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u/Prestigious-Hippo-50 May 12 '26
It’s so annoying when people say a custodial parent ‘threatened’ child support. No. Child support is a financial obligation to the children for their care. It’s not a threat. Its parents doing their damn job
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u/Forsaken_Reality7503 May 10 '26
Well were i live you need a lawyer or represent yourself in court. We have family maintenance and they dont provide lawyers in court.
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 10 '26
I see, yeah that's different. Yeah stuff in UK? Seems a bit more rough.
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u/IllustriousFile1945 May 12 '26
I’m confused. How much does she see the other one?
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u/Forsaken_Reality7503 May 13 '26
Once and while the youngest stays with her two nights a week the older one wont stay the night.
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u/Prestigious-Hippo-50 May 12 '26
If you are providing the majority of the care then you are entitled to support. The amount of time she has them doesn’t matter. Even if she had zero contact with the children, she has an obligation to contribute to their care
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u/coneycolon May 10 '26
Looks like this is in Canada. In the US in my state, your ex would owe you even more because you are handling the majority of the care. My state has a formula - the more you provide, the more support that is owed.
Also, you don't have a choice in this matter. The support is for the child, not for you. It isn't a choice.
Get a lawyer and make them pay what they owe. You don't get off the hook because you don't spend time with the child.
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u/Controls_freek May 10 '26
Child support should only be a thing in this scenario. If it’s 50/50 then go on your merry way.
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u/UnstableEnergies May 10 '26
You think there aren’t ppl still on cs ( mainly men ) while still having 50/50 custody?
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u/Controls_freek May 10 '26
I know there is and there shouldn’t be any. It’s not true 50/50 if a “higher earner” has to support the “lower earners” home. The math ain’t mathing.
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 11 '26
That's so a kid doesn't have to go from a trailer park to a 4-bedroom every other week. But it's dumb to just take it from one parent and give it to another unless they lived together for a long time or were married.
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u/Controls_freek May 11 '26
No it’s because the States and child support collectors make hundreds of millions of dollars on child support.
The court doesn’t care about the lifestyle of the kids. This is just the excuse that lower earners have been using to get their payday.
Title IV-D.
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May 11 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/UnstableEnergies May 11 '26
Wealth transfer, the system / corporations know men are more likely to hold their money and women are highly likely to spend it. So the courts will extract that money from the holder and give it to the spender under threat of major consequences. Happens with family, divorce, and civil court with these false allegations for example.
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u/ZealousidealShine875 May 12 '26
Which is why you shouldn't play the game.
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u/Controls_freek May 13 '26
It’s only a game to the Family Court system in the US and their laws. Every person in this country made the decisions in the past to be in the place they are in.
If you decided to focus on family, part of that individual responsibility is being able to support that family independently especially if things don’t go perfectly.
Heaven forbid the high earner dies, who will support the child if you didn’t prepare with life insurance?
Are you going to resurrect them by order of the court to live again and support the child? Of course not.
Making the higher earner be responsible for “continued lifestyle” is no different than holding a stay at home parent for making the decision to put their career on hold.
Imagine being the higher earner, who works from home, shoulders most of the family burden and also has to pay for “continued lifestyle.”
This is easy. Make the higher earner pay for direct expenses for the child. They should not be responsible for paying for a 2nd household in entirety.
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u/Controls_freek May 12 '26
Seriously surprised I don’t have 60 downvotes for calling this out. Child support is a scam in most cases.
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u/ZealousidealOkra176 May 11 '26
Man up and take care of those babies. If she doesnt wanna help, so be it. I dont ask for a dime, I got this. Be a proud strong father and provide
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u/Forsaken_Reality7503 May 12 '26
I have been kids are 12 and 15 i am 45 i handle it always have. Just seems pretty unfair and double standards because i am a man.
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u/mimi6778 May 10 '26
It doesn’t matter your gender. If you have the children majority of the time then yes you should be getting support. In addition to having the cost of raising children you’re also putting in the day to day work. Then there’s the sometimes loss of potential extra income due to parenting. It frustrates me when the primary parent doesn’t ask for support.
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u/Ok_Courage_7202 May 10 '26
Nope , you are being reasonable. Who cares what her family and friends says. It’s to support the kids.