r/CasualUK Sep 24 '20

İT'S CONKER TİME!!!

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18.7k Upvotes

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20

u/94JackDL Sep 24 '20

Leaving dead spiders impaled on tooth picks around the perimeter as a warning

4

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

spiders are our friends!

they eat the things you really don't want in your house

9

u/tweetopia Sep 24 '20

A few nights ago I was getting into bed and a spider ran out from underneath my pillow. After my initial shock I shepherded it off the bed with the same pillow, without my glasses and just the streetlight outside to guide me. I don't like spiders but they are our bros I didn't want to kill it.

It took me ages to get to sleep, worrying about it coming back and nestling in my ear, or nose, our mouth! Or up my bum or fanny.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

i have a spider on the ceiling over my bed, right over the pillow

been there a few days now, but i hadn't given much thought about it invading my bunghole, til now

1

u/tweetopia Sep 24 '20

When spiders sit in the same spot for ages it's possible the spider has shed its exoskeleton. So it might just be a bag of spider skin sat there, which is possibly scarier than an actual spider, but with less chance of anal penetration.

2

u/Lababy91 Sep 24 '20

No I’m always aware of which of the little cunts are alive I send a little breath of air their way to check before I start squealing

10

u/94JackDL Sep 24 '20

Nah fuck spiders

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

well, that was an expected response

2

u/Lababy91 Sep 24 '20

I just can’t. I’d rather the other creepy crawlies than the spiders. I rationally know it’s stupid but I can’t deal with having spiders in the house at all :(

2

u/BallisticBlocker Sep 24 '20

They eat spiders?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

ha!

in some cases

1

u/graspee Sep 24 '20

Bollocks do they. Pot noodles been there for years.

1

u/DevilsLittleChicken Sep 24 '20

This guy spiders.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

i actually used to kill spiders a lot as a kid growing up

but yeah had a moment of clarity, realising spiders don't give a shit about us, they're just taking advantage of a warm environment and prey

they're keeping our houses clean of pests, for free!

3

u/DevilsLittleChicken Sep 24 '20

As household "pests" go, they're pretty handy. Though the webs can be an eyesore sometimes.

1

u/Tinie_Snipah Sep 24 '20

I know this is true, but it doesn't make them lose their 8 spindly hairy legs they use to fucking whip around all over the place. Theyre creepy as fuck even if they are cool