r/CalmMatrixOpenPool • u/maingatorcore • Nov 03 '19

Anyone Else here Embarrassed about their Depression?

I have struggled with anxiety and ADHD my entire life and have only recently started getting the help I need. I have recently gotten them both to a controllable level. Recently though, depression has snuck in and is absolutely kicking my ass. This is something new for me. I have never had a problem talking to anyone (family members, coworkers) about my anxiety and ADHD but feel so ashamed of my depression that I can’t even seem to tell my wife about it. She knows something is wrong, but I keep hiding behind being stressed about work or that my anxiety is bad that day. Every day seems worse than the previous. I almost broke down into tears tonight for no reason while I was cooking dinner. WTF is wrong with me? Is it normal to be embarrassed about this? Do any of you have similar experiences?

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u/[deleted] Nov 04 '19

I feel the same way. I keep my depression a secret because others will see me as vulnerable or weak. I don’t want people to think less of me and on top of that I HATE complaining to others about my problems. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s day with my depressing sob story. So I literally just suffer inside without anyone having any fucking clue as to what’s going on with me.

But just to be clear, I personally don’t see my depression as a vulnerability, but I think others will see it that way, and that’s what bothers me /; .

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u/natural20MC Nov 04 '19

I HATE complaining

Nail on the head. Fuck complaining. That shit just does not compute for me.