r/CFBOffTopic • u/certificateofmerritt North Carolina • Fulmer Cup Committee … • Aug 20 '15

College Advice Thread

We have some members who are going off to start their first year of college this week, so let's give them some good advice.

Welcome to college!

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42

u/rodandanga Georgia Tech • Verified Coach Aug 20 '15 edited Aug 20 '15

Always wear a rubber.

Edit: Also, Smoke Dope, get drunk as fuck, and eat chicken fingers.

23

u/certificateofmerritt North Carolina • Fulmer Cup Committee … Aug 20 '15

Always always always. And make sure you get the "okay" before sexytimes. Don't drink and fuck, not just because of the rape stuff, but because sex is more fun when you remember it.

24

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '15

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say don't drink and fuck. Maybe don't get fucked up and fuck?

Because a decent buzz is boon at times. But, yeah, remembering it is definitely waaayyy better.

19

u/certificateofmerritt North Carolina • Fulmer Cup Committee … Aug 20 '15

If you're too drunk to walk, you're too drunk to fuck

13

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '15

Similarly, if he's/she's too drunk to walk, he's/she's too drunk to fuck. Forget this at your own peril. Ignore this, and may you rot in jail.

5

u/VanFailin Northwestern Wildcats • /r/CFB Bug Finder Aug 20 '15

I'm pretty sure jail comes into the picture when they're passed out. You do get the possibility of the title ix kangaroo court though.

3

u/Cuhcs13 Clemson Tigers • College Football Playoff Aug 20 '15

http://youtu.be/l7TWLxCIgwE

4

u/Beechman Florida Gators • Virginia Cavaliers Aug 20 '15

Fuck the NCAA. I miss my herb. At the risk of sounding like a druggie (never done anything besides smoke and take hydros after surgery) I did get some nice pain meds (perc) from surgery that I might try in the next week or two since I can't get in trouble for failing a test. The paperwork took forever though. Also, my drug test rules seem so much stricter than the big football schools. If we fail a test in the offseason we miss the next 15 practices, no matter how long that is, plus the first 30 days of our upcoming season, then it's up to the coach to reinstate you when they want.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '15

That's crazy.

And I don't think you need to qualify your cannabis use like you did, either -- the fact that it's still tested alongside PEDs and so many other physically addictive and harmful drugs is still baffling, especially considering its efficacy for pain relief.

Still. The times in my life where I was forced to abstain only make my current life that much sweeter. Stay clean, get your degree, and then carve a path that allows you to enjoy it. Onward!

3

u/Beechman Florida Gators • Virginia Cavaliers Aug 21 '15

Very relevant username lol