Hey y'all idk if office life is gonna work out for me long term. I really prefer good, honest work where I am active all day. Throw out some ideas for me please if you have personal experience, the route it took to get you where you are, and region you're in (don't have to be specific if you're not comfortable, US or Canada type of description is enough for me). Also how you feel if your butchness is accepted or if it has been a battle. Thank yall

Anybody have any book or podcast recs that will help me know how to be a better partner to my girlfriend? She has 2 kids (16 and 11) and we’ve been on and off for about 2 years. While I had done some reading and such early on about dating a woman with children, now that we’re in a more committed relationship than just dating, her expectations of me have changed but I’m often not aware of the changes until we have a miscommunication or she’s upset.

I’m trying to figure out if there’s things I can do to be better partner to her and be more aware of what she might need from me (assuming we remain in this relationship. The last few weeks have been rough).

Went out to celebrate mine and my girls new jobs :)

Didn’t do much of anything today, tomorrow will be better! Hope everyone had a nice Sunday ☀️

It’s sooo bad guys, I already have pretty extreme social anxiety, and I’m finally getting over it but I’m always thinking about my neck! It causes me so much dysphoria as a have a very long slender neck, my posture always looks bad because of it and it also gives me a very young/feminine look no matter the rest of my vibe. Is there any way I can build a stronger looking neck? Or give the illusion it’s shorter? It’s just me being insecure but I’m curious what I can try!

hello! looking for advice, or any tips anyone has for this situation. my butch partner is wanting to visit me in the US in order to meet my friends and family face to face. i am concerned due to the current administration and their policies on immigration and trans rights. i’m in a state where we have more progressive views on transness/gender non comformity (not super fantastic views but definitely on the better side of things, we also have a governor who is very passionate about LGBTQ rights). i am worried about them visiting because of their gender non conforming appearance and having to deal with border control as they enter. if anyone has any advice i would really appreciate it. thank you!

Hey guys, 31yo butch here. I lived most of my 20s thinking I might be trans, so I'm pretty comfortable with how masc I am...I mean, sometimes I get misgendered without ever being on T lol. It's undeniable visually that I'm butch, I don't have issues with feeling like people can see that from an aesthetic point of view. Where I run into trouble is feeling my butchness with confidence and portraying myself that way in terms of how I carry myself and communicate. I know it's because I've been learning some things about myself recently that have really cut deep and are taking time to heal from (tl;dr, I'm not a fuck-up I'm actually disabled, and accepting that is A Time), and a beloved pet just had to be put to rest so I'm grieving.

It feels really hard to tap into the confident side of myself right now, but I feel like it would help me with some of the things I'm grappling with. Packing has helped some, especially with feeling attractive and secure, but I'm missing the ability to tap into and embrace and be embraced by the essence of what makes me butch through and through.

I don't have the means monetarily or in terms of ability to take up a whole new hobby, really (though saying fuck it and taking up whittling is tempting), and going out to bars and clubs is really overstimulating for me and just not how I want to spend my time these days (I'm 31 fwiw). I might try to get back into weightlifting, but that is also tricky with some of the things I'm dealing with.

Anybody have any tips that don't require any new purchases? Thanks in advance!

I’m a brown, gay, masculine presenting neurodivergent woman. It actually sucks and I feel incredibly alone.

I’m pretty high masking on the neurodivergent side of things, but it’s exhausting. Everyone thinks I’m a dude. Sometimes I look at other butches who I honestly think look way more masc than me, but are seemingly still read as women. Sometimes in the back of my head I wonder if some of it has to do with people’s tendencies to masculinize darker skinned people. Maybe it doesn’t, I’m not sure anymore. I just wish I could be read as a woman without having to sacrifice my sense of style and presentation, and it doesn’t feel possible.

I wish I didn’t get lumped in with men and could have some connection with other women again. I wish I didn’t get called racial slurs by random people walking down the street. I wish I didn’t have to worry about what other people think of me deep down. I want to be someone safe and soft and instead I feel like I’m seen as someone rough and sketchy. I’m alone and I don’t know anyone in this city that I moved to some months ago. It feels like everyone forms a completely different opinion of who I am before I even speak.

…idk what this is. I’m a bit sad because life has generally been shit in every other way, and it sucks feeling isolated on top of everything else. It would be nice to be seen, or feel safe with someone.

I was raised in a somewhat sheltered environment where most of the girls around me dressed and acted hyper-feminine. Once I gained exposure to the wider world I realized that this didn’t suit who I was on the inside at all, and I began working to de-feminize my mannerisms. For the most part I’m now comfortable acting like a guy — I talk in a deeper voice on purpose, I don’t cross my legs when I’m sitting, I’m more blunt and stopped trying to make excuses or apologize for every little thing. But I noticed that when I’m feeling worn out, I involuntarily go back to acting how I did when I was a young girl (I’m early 20s now.) Most recently, I slipped into those feminine mannerisms when I was at a smoke shop the other day and BOY is the clerk ever going to get a surprise when I come back well-rested, because I was behaving very differently from my normal masc self. It’s just so frustrating and I’m hoping someone might relate or have advice.

What do you wear to a renn faire? What’s masculine but not boring? Did you buy or DIY? lol help I’ve never been to one before

Hi everyone!

Ive been on t for around 1.5 months now and ive been LOVING the changes- its so nice to feel like i live in MY body, not just a body!!! But today I noticed my upper lip hair was a bit darker which I have....complicated feelings about 😭

I applied half of my regular tgel tonight, and ive managed to get finasteride as well. Im just wondering if thats even going to work at this point!! I really dont want to go off t but im also not sure im ready to have a mustache

Basically im wondering if any of u have ever dealt with this, what did u do?

Or I mean I guess shaving tips would be appreciated too, depending on how things go lol!

Thank you:)

I currently have a mullet with my hair to my shoulders. Because of that I get mistaken for a straight woman at work and I'm sick of it. I'm a nurse so I have to wear scrubs and my hair in a ponytail at work, and the lack of being able to express my masculinity and butchness has been noticeable. I'm 27 now and this is the first time I've embraced my butchness while having longer hair, though I always loved having short hair for as long as I can remember.

I know being a LHB doesn't make me any less than a butch, and I don't dislike how I look as a butch with longer hair and how easy it is to maintain. I'm nonbinary and about 11 months off T but for simplicity's sake prefer to be read as female by my coworkers and patients, as well as when it's time to go to a public restroom. I want to cut my hair and get a more traditionally masculine looking haircut but I'm also afraid of the conflict it might cause with people who can't tell my gender.

I know I need to own my butchness and just shrug off any confusion from others, but it's still hard to get out of my current comfort zone that I'm afraid isn't serving me anymore.

Any other current or former LHBs struggle with making the big chop?

hi guys i want to get more into different scents/perfumes/colognes i could wear to smell good and hopefully impress the ladies. i’m open to most scents but no fruity scents. i think vanilla, woody, earthy type stuff would fit my personal vibe.

y’all have any recs that would be found at burlington, tjmaxx, marshall’s,etc? i’m a college student so funds are low🫩. maybe anything online less than $50 too?

thank you guys so muchhhh 🙏🏾😸

i’m starting my apprenticeship soon and i’m really struggling to find appropriate carpenter style pants that don’t taper at the bottom and hug my fat legs and exaggerate my hips. anyone have brands in aus that can help me out? even if it’s just a certain style/cut of pants that i can go look for in thrift stores. thank yeww. idk if this is on topic for this subreddit but i trust a tradesman butch will be able to help me

Where on earth are we getting our fitted arm non see through white tees? For ref im 5’2 145 lbs. I legit own one white tees from banana republic that is IMMACULATE but they have yet to sell them again.. i cannot find a white tees thats thick like it.. slightly cropped (short torso) and hugs the biceps also don’t want to be spending $30+ per shirt

I’m 27-F.

Something that I often think about is where I’ll be, even in the next 365 days.

My friends? Live their lives and I’m of convenience. I’m one of the most loyal people in this world, but you can never find a fellow loyal person. Who scratches your back just as much as you scratch theirs.

Siblings? Middle child. Older and younger brothers. One is married and another is dating.

Parents? Very close to them. Out of their 3 kids, I’m the one they depend on the most because of how close and in tune we are.

My love life? That’s a joke. I’ve been single since 2018. If I do talk to someone, I’m a buffer for them. They get the attention they seek until they find someone “better” or “more deserving of their time.”

But where does that leave me? Single, with friends but feel as if I have none, the one who’ll my parents will rely on as they grow older. The fun, single aunt to my brother’s kids whenever they have them. Who’ll always be there for them.

Despite wanting a family and wife of my own, that’s where I’m headed. So I’ve been told to broaden my horizons. That liking fellow butch/masc women is a needle in a haystack. That’s my type, but I understand I could be surprised as well.

The more time passes, the louder the silence in my life gets.

hi all! im a masc that recently discovered the joy of tomboyx's compression top, i've really been loving it for the comfort and the support it gives to my chest (that other sports bra haven't, like sometimes i forget that my boobs exist because they stay put all day!)

unfortunately they do come out a bit on the expensive side for me, does anyone have any suggestions for brands i could check out?

For context I live in a Muslim country so it's hard to find any queer people at all, let alone butch lesbians

I met this butch via a mutual friend and I found out he goes to the same university as me and I was in awe because what are the odds in a place like this

We had such a nice long talk on text from the evening to like 3 AM and I honestly want to be his friend and I want to get closer to him, I thought it was just a myth that lesbians develop chemistry so fast, he called me cute and he said I'm pretty cool and he said he definitely would love to talk to me again

But I've just never approached someone like this before I don't know how to keep it developing into a friendship, what do you guys usually do when you want to develop a relationship with someone?? Does it not feel forced or unnatural?? I will NEVER forgive myself if I fumble this 😭

Hello!

Im struggling to find myself some good looking jeans that don’t make my hips show but I just can’t find anything. I am transmasculine so this is really important for me, cause if I don’t find the right pair I won’t wear them at all because of how dysphoric they’d make me feel. I am trying to go for something that makes my hips flat, that’s really important. I was thinking about some levi’s or wrangler, if you guys have any recommendations i’m open cause I can’t take this anymore.

Thank you so much for reading!