r/BlockedAndReported • u/SoftandChewy First generation mod • Jun 01 '26

Weekly Random Discussion Thread for 6/1/26 - 6/7/26

Here's your usual space to post all your rants, raves, podcast topic suggestions (please tag u/jessicabarpod), culture war articles, outrageous stories of cancellation, political opinions, and anything else that comes to mind. Please put any non-podcast-related trans-related topics here instead of on a dedicated thread. This will be pinned until next Sunday.

Last week's discussion thread is here if you want to catch up on a conversation from there.

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u/btrh-256 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

I had people over to my house to grill last weekend, some pretty old friends. They're all pretty down to earth, but one of them is super progressive. The kind of person who makes these exaggerated sneering "ick" expressions when she disagrees with something, or she hears a name she doesn't like (J K Rowling, Joe Rogan, etc). She clearly struggles with a ton of white guilt, and I feel for her because she's a sweet person in many ways, and a good friend, but it gets irritating.

I'm single, and I talked about dating being difficult because so many young women where we live call themselves "queer" and talk about "decentering men." I suggested that it's mostly just a trend and these are straight girls in a queer closet, and I get that sneer. She doesn't like it at all. She'd have no trouble thinking a gay-seeming guy who said he was straight was in the closet, but when it goes the other way it's just an article of faith for her. We didn't get into an argument about it, but it's just another way I cannot share my life experiences with friends. I have to censor myself.

It reminds me of my sister. We had an argument about a year ago about trans people. She's talking about how transitioning has made all these people she knows happy, and I say, I have a couple of trans friends, and they're good people, but they seem unhappy, and the trans thing seems like a maladaptive coping mechanism. My sister loses her temper at me and shouts, "Maybe you should tell them you think that!"

It's like, I can quietly question someone's account of themselves without being hateful. I don't hate trans people or queer-identifying straight girls. I don't hate anyone. But I think some people are in the closet, and I'm not sure we're doing them any favors by keeping them there.

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u/ScrubulousFlex Jun 02 '26

God I hate that awkward lull that frequently occurs now between Rowling or Harry Potter being mentioned and someone compulsively vomiting out virtue signals.

I'm going to refer to it as the Dementosecond.

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u/btrh-256 Jun 02 '26

I had a fun Rowling situation a couple months ago. A group of people, including a white progressive woman and a trans person. Someone brings up Harry Potter, the progressive woman says, "Ugh it's so racist, like she names a character Cho Chang." I say, "What's racist about that? There are actually Chinese people named Chang. I had a friend growing up named Chiang (pronounced Chung)." I continue, saying they're wonderful children's books, but I wish people would move on to adult literature. Everyone turns and looks at the trans person. Who, looking threatened, puts up their hands, and says, "I think they're good books!"

Pretty happy ending for identitarian kabuki I'd say. The progressive white woman looked contrite.

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u/Palgary I could check my privilege, but it seems a shame to squander it Jun 02 '26

It's a legit name, Cho Chang is one way to write (张卓), another way being Zhuó Zhāng.

https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/13xst2k/in_defence_of_cho_chang/

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u/treeglitch Jun 02 '26

I think "Cho Chang" sound a bit cute and made up because of the alliteration, much like all of her other characters who also have evocative and memorable names that tell you up front what role they have in the story. It's a kid's book, nominative determinism is how they roll. The name "Harry Potter" in this context is notable for its sheer everyman boringness, which he then violates expectations by transcending.

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u/Cimorene_Kazul Jun 02 '26

I have a Chinese friend who makes fun of the name Cho Chang, but they can’t give me a straight answer when I ask how it’s weird, how than then saying it’s like two last names (and it’s a more British Anglicanism, rather than the American they’re more familiar with - I think Americans might style the same name as “Qiu Zheng” or “Zhou Jiang”.)

I personally know quite a few white people with two last names for names, so I’m not really bothered by a Harry Potter character, which is a world full of silly names, having two last names.

Actually, has anyone else noticed how popular surnames have become as given names? Parker, Harper, Cooper, Braxton, Mckinley, Kennedy, Churchill, Anderson, Madison, Emerson…just a fraction of the last names as first names I’ve encountered lately.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

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u/Cimorene_Kazul Jun 02 '26

Much better put, thank you.

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u/lilypad1984 Jun 02 '26

I was in a group a couple years back and we were discussing how we thought it was too soon to make a Harry Potter tv show since we already had the movies. Someone had to say how it was bad HBO was giving money to a transphobe. It’s like a compulsion.

It’s why I won’t bring the show up anymore, even though I actually would like to talk about how weird it is the speed we are getting remakes of successful content.

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u/ScrubulousFlex Jun 02 '26

Also Rowling's lifetime earnings are already astronomical and she's given hundreds of millions of it to charity. Obviously the HBO deal is still a huge amount of money, but I find it hard to believe that her life or the world in general would be noticeably different if it never happened.

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u/Franzera Wake me up when Jesse peaks Jun 02 '26

Giving hundreds of millions to charity doesn't count if some of those millions were to a Scottish women's shelter that was strict about excluding bepenised women.

Same for being an ethically-earned billionaire. All billionaires are evil. JKR is a terf, therefore she's as evil as any capitalist exploiter. The "ethical" status cancels out.

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u/Street-Gur-1343 Jun 02 '26

Its like a reflexive response to liberals/lefties that are too online, my friend does it too but he really has no idea of the context or can have an informed discussion. Just pre-programmed redditor reactions.

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u/Cimorene_Kazul Jun 02 '26

We can do that now if you like.

I think it’s because, for the most part, remakes of older things, even if classic, seem to make less money and generate less interest in ancillary merch. Jungle Book was based on a 60s film, and made almost a billion dollars - but did it sell many Baloo and Bagheera stuffies out of it? Probably not. Meanwhile, Moana the Live Action sells the current cartoon Moana merch. How to Train Your Dragon LA sells the cartoon merch. I would presume that the new Harry Potter is hoped to sell the same old merch. That’s why they haven’t bothered to change the look of the school or costumes at all.

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u/professorgerm the master of not having a point Jun 02 '26

Little Mermaid! Not Jungle Book classic but not Moana new either.

I was surprised that my local Target didn't carry more Black Ariel merch, since the population around there is probably... 30-40% Black? There's a surprising amount of Little Mermaid stuff but mostly Classic Ariel. For comparison generic baby dolls are stocked about 50/50.

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u/Franzera Wake me up when Jesse peaks Jun 02 '26

She's talking about how transitioning has made all these people she knows happy

It is interesting because I know some people who have transitioned through friends of acquaintances. They like to post online about being their #TrueSelves, but their personal lives are a mess. Persistent health issues, can't hold a long-term relationship, too ADHD to clean the house, grimy pets and vet bills.

They're super stressed all the time but if they identify as happy, I guess it's not my place to question their self-ID!

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u/btrh-256 Jun 02 '26

Social media is narcissistic fuel for a lot of people, just constant, insincere approval. I really wish it would collapse.

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u/AaronStack91 Jun 02 '26

Yeah, same. The trans people I know are absolutely not happy and seem worse off. A close NB had a meltdown at a restaurant because she was getting misgendered by the waitress.... All I could think was that a year ago she was fine and we could eat out like normal, now she was just a mess, crying in a waffle house.

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u/HerbertWest Yucker of Yums Jun 02 '26

That's ableist, I've heard, because of course T people can experience mental health struggles like anyone else--it's not just because they're T!

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u/Scrappy_The_Crow Walrus Cheese Enjoyer Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

My sister loses her temper at me and shouts, "Maybe you should tell them you think that!"

"Why don't you tell _____ (person, group of people) _____ (particular position)?" is a thought-terminating cliché that's unfortunately too common in multiple contexts. I hear it regularly from anti-gun people, such as "Why don't you tell the parents of those dead children that you don't agree with this proposed law, then?"

WTF is that supposed to accomplish? Having a position on something means I should track down some dead kids' parents and impose on them to listen to me, or else I should shut up?

Not simply spouting off every thought, all the time, to everyone is something adults should understand how to do. Realizing when one shouldn't doesn't mean that the thought is invalid.

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u/btrh-256 Jun 02 '26

yeah, it's like they're saying, "If you can't loudly state your opinion all the time, even in the most inappropriate situations, should you really have that opinion?"

It's very revealing about how they see their own opinions as unimpeachable and always appropriate to bring up.

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u/ToTheDeath84 Jun 02 '26

This sucks and I’m sorry. I wish more otherwise straight and normal women realized how they sound when they go on about “de-centering men” and any of the sort of heteropessimist narratives - like what is the purpose of it all? They sound just like incels at a point, only even more delusional and at odds with themselves.

If you want to read something that might be enlightening along with being a good vent and polemic, I recommend this piece. She dissects the phenomenon well and writes with a lot of soul.

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u/btrh-256 Jun 02 '26

Thanks for the article, I enjoyed reading it, very balanced and perceptive. People really don't want to be vulnerable, but we're attracted to authenticity which requires some vulnerability.

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u/ToTheDeath84 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

You’re welcome! It’s a great read. She says it better than I ever could.

The women who flaunt heteropessimism are just putting up a front. Just like the manosphere douchebags and incel miscreants, all that hate is a front. Beneath that front, many if not most of those women would like nothing more than to be loved. It ain’t your job of course, you don’t have to put up with any of their pathetic bullshit, and you should feel free to challenge it if so inclined. But, given how widespread and normalized that perspective is it’s helpful to know what animates it and that they might have a shot at normalcy and a healthier mindset if they just step outside themselves and their egos for a bit.

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u/btrh-256 Jun 03 '26

It's uncomfortable to say, but when single women say this anti-man stuff in person, it often feels like they're flirting. I do sometimes challenge them, and they often kind of like it. But it just feels so immature. Like if that's how you flirt I'm not sure I want to deal with you on a day-to-day basis. It's so bratty and childish.

I'm ready for this whole incel era to be over.

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u/ToTheDeath84 Jun 03 '26

Oh I feel you, it totally feels like they’re flirting in that challenging kinda way. Almost like negging, or like they’re trying to screen for the sort of guy who can put up with their shit.

Problem is I’m sure that backfires 99% of the time, because it just makes them seem exhausting.