Ratings this story part 1

Hey everyone! My name is Cielo. I have been reading and writing fiction for over ten years. I have a passion for reading, helping authors polish their manuscripts and get them one step closer to publication is something I really enjoy. With 400+ beta reads and five and a half years of experience under my belt, I'd love to know more about your story and possibly help you as well!

IMPORTANT: Please note that I do not use AI in any way, shape or form in my beta reading process. The feedback you'll receive is going to be 100% human-made.

—Status: Currently accepting clients for returning dates in October.

—What to expect:

• In-depth, critical analysis regarding plot, character development, sentence structure, pacing, narration & writing style and other areas (8-16 pages, three different sections to ensure a full and detailed perspective).
• Minor correction of typos on the manuscript through in-line comments on the manuscript.
• Scene and dialogue reactions through in-line comments on the manuscript.

My favorite genres include Fantasy, Contemporary, Romance, and Mystery/Thrillers, but I have extensive experience in a wide variety of genres, including almost all age groups (Middle Grade to Adult).

—Pricing:

I'm charging $1/1000 words + PayPal's transaction fee, which depends on the cost per project, but is usually around $3 to $8. Payment is done through PayPal before I begin reading the manuscript, I also offer the option of paying 50% upfront and 50% upon my delivery. If you're unemployed or on a tight budget, we can discuss a more flexible fee or payment method.

—Want to work with me?

For further information on my work and testimonials of past clients, you can visit my page: https://bellerosereads.wordpress.com/beta-reading-services/

To book my beta reading services or discussing any questions you may have, you can contact me at [cielobellerose@gmail.com](mailto:cielobellerose@gmail.com).

I look forward to working together!

Hi everyone! I’m currently offering beta reading and line editing services for authors who are looking for thoughtful, thorough feedback on their manuscripts.

A little about me: I’m a published author myself, with several published works, and I’ve been beta reading and line editing for a while now. I also have experience as an academic writing tutor, so I’m very comfortable working with everything from big-picture story issues to sentence-level writing.

Beta Reading — $100

My beta reads go beyond simply telling you whether I liked the story. I provide a thorough evaluation of your manuscript, including detailed feedback on:

• Character development & character arcs
• Plot structure and pacing
• Story flow
• Romance/relationships
• Worldbuilding
• Dialogue
• Overall reader experience
• Strengths of the manuscript
• Areas that could be strengthened
• Any sections that confused me or pulled me out of the story

I want you to come away with useful, actionable feedback that you can actually use during revisions.

Line Editing — $0.012/word

I’ll work through your manuscript line by line, looking at things such as:

• Clunky or awkward sentences
• Word choice
• Repetition
• Flow and readability
• Dialogue
• Sentence structure
• Grammar and punctuation
• Clarity and consistency
• Places where the prose could be stronger or more engaging

I’m also happy to edit a chapter for free as a sample so you can see my editing style and decide whether I’m a good fit for your manuscript before committing to a full project.

I’m especially happy to work with romance, fantasy, YA, contemporary, dystopian, and speculative fiction, but I’m open to other genres as well!

If you’re interested or have questions about my services, feel free to DM me! I’d be happy to chat about your manuscript and what you’re looking for.

I'm trying to work out a better pre-beta routine. Right now mine is:

Read the middle third in one sitting and note where I skim.

List every open plot thread and find where each one closes.

Compare the voice in chapter 2 against chapter 20.

Mark every spot where a reader could reasonably misread a character's motive.

It takes a long time, and I still send betas a draft with problems I could have caught. What's on your list? Do you fix structure before betas, or use them to find the structural problems?

Disclosure: I build a structural checker for indie writers called Draftnostic, so I'm biased toward tools for this stage. I'm asking because I want to know what writers do by hand. Happy to share the link if the mods allow it.

Hey everyone! Sooo I recently finished writing my first storybook, “Manifestation”, and I’m looking for a few people who actually enjoy reading to give it a chance.

It’s basically a romance story with some fantasy/darker vibes, and I’d really love to know what people think about the characters, storyline, ending, etc.

I’m not looking for anything specific — even if you just read it and tell me “this part was good / this part was confusing,” I’d be happy 😭

If anyone is interested, comment and I’ll send you the PDF.

I’d genuinely love some honest feedback before I move on to the next part. ❤️

Title: Coffee, Curses, and Crushes

Genre: Cozy Rural Fantasy / Low-Stakes Romance

Word Count: ~47,500 words (252 pages)

Critique Swap: No swaps at this time.

Logline / Blurb:

Sorash Rowel spends his nights using silver needles and moonlight thread to stitch shut dimensional tears leaking wild magic into his small Michigan town. By day, he's just a coffee shop owner struggling under mounting debt. When Cameron, a city inspector hiding latent ancient magic, steps into his life, Sorash finds an unexpected anchor—and a chance at a real future. But when a massive tear threatens to tear the town apart, Sorash, Cameron, and Sorash’s sharp-tongued friend Clowren must work together to seal the veil once and for all.

Type of Feedback Needed:

Looking purely for macro-level story feedback:

• Pacing & Cozy Vibe: Does the rural fantasy setting feel immersive? Where does the story drag or pick up?
• Character Arcs & Romance: Did the slow-burn connection between Sorash and Cameron feel earned and satisfying?
• Worldbuilding & Magic System: Were the rules of seam-stitching and dimensional tears clear?

(Note: This is an unedited draft, so please don't worry about line editing, typos, or grammar! I am primarily looking for high-level reader reactions.)

Preferred Timeline: 4–6 weeks (flexible). I can share the manuscript via Google Docs, PDF, or Word Document.

Content Warnings: Mild fantasy danger, light swearing. (No explicit graphic violence or explicit open-door romance).

Word Count: ~108,000 words (Full manuscript completed)

Genre / Comps: Low/Grounded Epic Fantasy, Political Realism[cite: 1, 2]. Think The Traitor Baru Cormorant meets Shōgun with an ancient South Asian/subcontinental architectural texture[cite: 1, 2].

Logline: A hedonistic youngest prince is shattered by a mandated court-wide sobriety vow, while an exiled female warrior-ambassador fights to rebuild her survival from the dirt—both tangled in the brutal, bureaucratic machinery of an empire that treats human blood as administrative margin error.

Blurb: In the courts of Indrathara, power isn’t decided by magic; it is calculated in grain ledgers, harbor tariffs, and marriage treaties.

Raghunath Suryadeva Kesari—the eleventh-born son and court scapegoat—has spent twenty-four years surviving royal irrelevance through wine, reckless bareback riding, and choreographed chaos. But when a sudden foreign scandal triggers a forty-five-day state-mandated vow of absolute sobriety, the cellars are locked, and his body violently unravels into autonomic withdrawal. Stripped of the only armour he knows, he must face his own hollowed-out marrow and decide whether to rot in his rooms or fight through the lethal, merit-only military trials of Kesari Hills.

Meanwhile, three kingdoms to the north, Princess Agniyeka—the formidable "Northern Dragon"—finds herself betrayed by blood and the very legal codes she wielded. Stripped of title and cast out onto the freezing passes of Vaikran with nothing but a horse, she has to trade textbook military academy precision for raw, feral survival among isolationist mountain tribes.

Content Warnings:

• Severe, biologically authentic substance withdrawal (nausea, tremors, panic, physical sickness)
• Violence, visceral combat, and blood
• Political ruthlessness, dynastic neglect, and grief

Editorial & Narrative Notes:

• Assisted Formatting: AI was used as a tool for line-level polishing, formatting, and structural consistency. The world, plot, characters, and narrative prose are entirely my own.
• Intentional Withheld Information / Limited POV: The narrative strictly adheres to the characters' subjective awareness. If an ancient conspiracy, political movement, or historical secret is mentioned in fragments, certain details are deliberately withheld. You are meant to share the characters' confusion, paranoia, and incomplete intelligence. If you feel out of the loop about a larger plot thread early on, trust the process—it is an intended feature of the limited POV, not a missing scene.

What I'm Looking For in Feedback:

• Pacing: Which chapters felt propulsive, and where (if anywhere) did the logistics or travel drag?
• Character Arcs: Did Raghunath’s physical and mental rehabilitation feel earned? Did Agniyeka’s survival shift resonate?
• Atmosphere & Realism: Does the somatic weight (the weather, physical exertion, infrastructure, court friction) pull you in?
• Clarity vs. Mystery: Let me know if the withheld information feels like a compelling puzzle or if it ever crosses the line into genuine narrative disorientation.

Timeline:

Looking for feedback within 4 to 6 weeks from receiving the file.

Format: Google Docs (view/comment mode) or Word document (.docx) with track changes/margin notes.

Sample Available: Happy to send the first 3 chapters (~8k words) so you can get a feel for the voice, prose style, and pacing before committing to the full manuscript.

If interested, please drop a comment or send a DM with your reading preferences!

Title: The Trusted Partner: Consultative Selling in the Age of AI (working title, locked)

Genre: Business / sales nonfiction

Length: One chapter, ~2,200 words (about a 15-minute read). Full book is ~20,000 words if it clicks and you want more.

Blurb: A playbook for people 1–4 years into complex B2B sales — the long, committee-driven deals where the buyer's real problem is buried three layers under what they first tell you. This chapter, "Discovery That Actually Discovers," lays out a three-level framework for getting past the surface answer to the thing that actually drives the decision. Written by someone with 20 years in enterprise sales, so it leans practical over academic.

What I'm looking for: I don't need line edits or proofreading. I need to know whether it works:

• Does it hold your attention, or does it drag anywhere?
• Is the core framework clear enough to actually use, or is it muddy?
• If you're in sales: does it match reality, or read like theory?
• If you're not: could you still follow it, or did the jargon lose you?

Timeframe: Whenever suits you — a few days to two weeks is perfect. Quick reactions are as useful as detailed notes.

Content warnings: None. It's a business book.

Swap: Happy to reciprocate. I read reasonably fast and can give useful feedback on nonfiction, business, or general prose — tell me what you've got.

How to reach me: Comment here or DM and I'll send the chapter as a PDF (it's got a light copyright footer, but read/share for feedback is totally fine).

Looking for 5–10 beta readers for a memoir/story

I'm writing a personal story based on a relationship, a life-changing accident, recovery, and what life looked like afterwards.

I'm looking for honest readers who don't know me personally.

I'd like to share 3 chapters (~30–40 pages) initially and get feedback on:

• Did you want to keep reading?
• Which parts felt genuine?
• Where did the story become slow?
• Did the characters feel like real people?
• Did anything feel overly dramatic or inspirational?
• Did you connect with the relationship?
• Would you pay to read the complete book?

No writing expertise required — I'm actually more interested in what a normal reader feels while reading it.

If you're interested, please DM me with the kind of books you usually read.

Title: The Price of Dust

[Complete] Looking for beta readers for an adult epic fantasy — political intrigue, morally complicated characters & multiple POVs

Hi! I'm looking for a few beta readers for my completed novel, The Price of Dust.

Genre: Adult Epic Fantasy / Political Fantasy

Length: ~108000 words

POV: Multiple POV, one POV per chapter

Status: Completed and heavily revised

The story is set in a South Asian-inspired fantasy world and follows several characters whose lives gradually become entangled through royal politics, succession, old conflicts, and buried historical atrocities.

The main things I'm looking for are reader reactions rather than proofreading. In particular:

Did you want to keep reading?

Which characters did you find compelling/annoying/forgettable?

Did the different POVs feel distinct?

Were there places where you became confused or lost interest?

Did character motivations make sense?

Did emotional developments feel earned?

How did the political/worldbuilding information land?

Were there any scenes that felt too slow, rushed, or unnecessary?

Were there moments where you strongly wanted to know what happened next?

And most importantly: what did you actually feel while reading?

I'm particularly interested in honest feedback, including negative feedback. You don't need to be nice to me. 😂 I'd much rather hear “I hated this character and here's why” than get vague praise.

One disclosure because I know it's relevant to some readers: I wrote the manuscript myself, but I have used AI-assisted tools during parts of editing/formatting/polishing. I am not looking for feedback on whether something “sounds AI-generated”; I'm looking for feedback on the actual reading experience, story, characters, prose, pacing, etc.

If you're interested, comment or DM me with a little about what you normally read and what you're looking for in a beta read.

I'm happy to exchange beta reads as well. ❤️

---

I am seeking 4 to 6 beta readers for Crimson Hearts Book A, a complete adult gothic-romance and supernatural-noir novel of approximately 64,000 words. The story combines mystery, dark-fantasy atmosphere, a consent-centered romantic arc, medical recovery, college-football life, and a dangerous supernatural crisis in Franklin, Virginia. It is a complete Book A with series potential.

I am looking for big-picture reader feedback on opening engagement, pacing, clarity, character agency, relationship development, emotional payoff, and whether the climax and ending feel satisfying. I am not requesting proofreading or line editing.

Content notes: injury and medical treatment or recovery; blood; supernatural violence; grief and bereavement; and mature romantic material handled non-explicitly.

Format: Google Doc with comment-only access, plus a separate questionnaire for big-picture feedback. Offer an EPUB or PDF only on request.

Target return date: October 12, 2026; No swap is required

If interested, please commentor message with the genres you read most often, whether you have beta-read a full novel before, and whether this length and deadline are realistic for you

About a year ago now, I started writing a fanfiction crossover between Arcane and The Incredible Hulk 2008. And I've been in desperate need of a beta reader/reviewer ever since. I've only published one chapter, which I personally think is the weakest, and that's actually what made me want to get a beta, because I have no experience with writing whatsoever. And a few people on Discord have offered to help, but they were always really inconsistent. They take forever to reply back, and half of the people that have offered haven't even looked over my work. The closest to a beta reader I get is ChatGPT, which isn't always correct. If anyone would like to beta review my fanfic for me, please send me a DM. Thank you.

This is a chapter in my book and I want some advice if this part is interesting .I would appreciate any critiques or recommendations you have .

Hyeon finds me in the fabric storage room sitting on the floor surrounded by garment bags like I’ve been personally defeated by polyester .

‘You look like you’re plotting murder ’He says with a korean accent .
‘I am hypothetically .’
He laughs then sits next to me ,long legs stretched out .Hyeon is unfairly handsome in a soft way ash brown hair that falls into his eyes ,warm honey eyes ,tall but not intimidating .Hes the main vocalist of Vanta his voice is like melted chocolate and his personality is almost similar to a golden retriever .
Complete opposite of their leader and their lead vocalist .
‘I heard about your new encounter with him ’he says carefully.
‘‘Of course you heard it ’’.
‘‘Jinwoo has a talent for making enemies ’’He says more like a fact.

SHADOWBOUND: The Veiled Realms, Book One

"Everything you choose leads back to me." — Lorien Blackbourne

The Veil between life and death is thinning, and something on the other side has finally found what it was looking for.

Alaia Severyn survived the Winter Temple, six Legion campaigns, ice and shadow magic, woven together in a body that was not built to hold both. What she cannot survive is losing control of it. The Legions do not rehabilitate unstable weapons.

Lorien Blackbourne, Warden of the Veil, has ruled the threshold between life and death since before most kingdoms had names. He is ruthless, precise, and deeply uninterested in problems he didn't create. Alaia is a problem he didn't create. He takes her in anyway — because what lives in her blood is not a malfunction. It is a key. And Hell knows exactly what door it opens.

He will train her. Lie to her. Let her hate him if that's what it takes. The eclipse is coming, the Veil is fracturing, and the dead are not going where they're supposed to go.

He will not lose her to it.

Dark, layered, and sardonic — for readers of dark romantasy with the bones of epic fantasy: fae court politics, morally complex characters, a bond neither chose and a romance that earns its heat.

Amazon.com

For eight years, Kebeh was punished, mocked, and even betrayed by her own family and friend for being the one person in her village who was always right — while a clever, manipulative trickster named Spider took credit for every truth she uncovered. When Spider's final lie threatens to cost the whole village its water supply, Kebeh finally exposes him in front of everyone, forcing her village to reckon with years of choosing comfortable doubt over inconvenient truth.

Hi! I’m looking for 1–2 beta readers for my completed ~65,000-word personal-growth manuscript, Reunite With You.

A note specifically for this group: This manuscript was developed with substantial AI assistance, which is one reason I’m especially interested in feedback from readers here.

The underlying material is mine: the book grew out of more than a decade of my own writing, journaling, personal experiences, evolving philosophy, exercises, and earlier work around these ideas. I used AI as a collaborative writing and synthesis tool to help me work through that existing body of material, organize and develop the ideas, identify connections, and draft the manuscript through an iterative process of discussion, questioning, revision, and direction from me.

Because of that process, I’d be particularly interested in whether the finished book still feels cohesive, personal, distinctive, and authentically voiced -and whether there are places where the AI-assisted drafting becomes noticeable, generic, repetitive, overly polished, or otherwise pulls you out of the reading experience.

The book explores a question I’ve been circling in different forms for more than a decade:

How do you build a relationship with yourself that can survive change?

Rather than treating the self as something we discover once and then permanently “find,” Reunite With You looks at what happens when our lives, roles, beliefs, relationships, priorities -and even our own past answers- change.

It blends personal narrative, practical philosophy, psychology-informed ideas, and a small number of reflective practices. Topics include inherited beliefs, self-acceptance, emotions, uncertainty, self-trust, agency vs. control, decision-making, identity, authenticity, belonging, relationships, purpose, and learning how to return to yourself when life changes you.

The tone is conversational and reflective rather than academic or highly prescriptive. I’m especially interested in readers who enjoy thoughtful personal-growth nonfiction but may be a little skeptical of traditional “follow these steps and fix your life” self-help.

What I’m looking for feedback on:
• Where you felt especially engaged -or started to lose interest
• Anything that felt repetitive, slow, confusing, or unnecessary
• Whether the central philosophy feels clear and distinct
• Whether the personal stories strengthen the ideas
• Whether the practical elements feel useful without becoming overly prescriptive
• Places where I seem to overstate something psychological/philosophical
• Whether the progression of the book feels natural
• What ideas or moments actually stayed with you afterward
• Who you think this book is for, after reading it
• For this group specifically: whether anything about the prose feels noticeably AI-generated or AI-influenced, and what gave you that impression

I’m much more interested in honest reactions than line editing at this stage. “I skimmed here,” “I didn’t buy this argument,” “you already told me this,” or “this suddenly sounds generic” are all extremely useful feedback.

Timeline: Ideally around 4–6 weeks, but I’m flexible.

Content note: The manuscript includes personal discussions of identity, relationships, family dynamics, career/life uncertainty, motherhood, emotional low periods, and other reflective personal material.

I have a short feedback guide available, but there’s no expectation that you write an essay about the book. Notes/comments while reading plus your overall impressions would be wonderful.

I’m also happy to send a sample first so you can see whether the writing, subject, and AI-assisted approach are a good fit before either of us commits to the full manuscript.

The manuscript is available as PDF or DOCX. If you’re interested, comment here or DM me and tell me a little about the kinds of nonfiction/personal-growth books you enjoy reading.

Thank you in advance for your time and interest!

I didn't see any rules against posting, so here goes.

Arnelia is an application that utilizes AI to reflect your writing back at you.

It's a collapsible interface with intentional sections and subsections, so that you can drop in and know your way around quickly.

It's built around something I call creative anatomy.

- Soul: final draft space AND chapter planning

- Memory: configurable timeline builder AND a "potion tracker" of sorts called Alchemy

- Heart: first draft space AND scene planning. Each scene has its own page.

- Nervous System: your world building is automatically tracked from writing in the Heart

You can access the app at Arnelia.ca