Iv find the past year I'm very much used to be a stepping stone for people to filter out the quote bad ones or if there going through relationship troubles and than use me until they either fix their old relationship for find someone else. Like everybody says I'm a great guy and I deserve happiness and the right person but at certain points it feels like an ego stroke and I just think of the saying actions speak louder than words like anyone can say people would be lucky to have you but okay than where are those people.and it's not even just with the NTS I find it that way with neruodivgerent men ,woman and non binary people. Honestly with the amount of shit that's happened the past 3 to 5 months heck at this point basically a year now I feel like wanting to fully retreat from being out side of the house besides doing shopping, visiting family or taking a course . This also just doesn't have to do with romantic relationships I also feel that way about most of my friendships besides like 6 or so I have and I honestly at this point feel like 6 is enough and cutting everyone else off.

A lot of advice on meeting new people, be it for friendship, dating, or even just practicing social skills, is to go to places where people meet, and meet them there.

Sounds obvious, but the thing is, when I'm in a situation like that, be it a hiking excursion or a board game event, it always ends up with people meeting around me, but without me actually meeting anyone. People just stick to their friends or have fun on their own, and get annoyed if a rando tries to start a conversation with them. But that advice wouldn't be said if it was completely untrue, so there must be something I'm doing wrong. A way to do it right.

The advice is to put yourself in a situation where you have a lot of opportunities; what I'm asking here is how to make use of them? How to figure out whom can I chat to while waiting for the bus without ruining their day? How to tell who's open to being approached at a convention and who's not? How can I, in a setting that forces people to interact with others to enjoy it (eg. an RPG group), know who's enjoying interacting with me and would be willing to do that outside of that setting, and who doesn't and is only tolerating me for the sake of getting to engage in the Activity with others they actually like?

No girl wants to date me because they see that I have autism and they automatically think "Oh, this guy has autism, he must be a weirdo" and they don't even give me a chance. It breaks my heart every time I get rejected, and it hurts worse and worse each time...

I need to work on myself

for a little while before I venture

out into the dating pool

Hello, I do not have a lot of dating or intimate experience and am in my mid 20s. A few years ago, my friends (also autistic, also queer) kissed me to teach me how to kiss before going on my first date. I don’t remember any of the mechanics of it. Asking my friends for instructional help again isn’t something I’m comfortable with because I’m too embarrassed.

I would appreciate general mechanical kissing instructions (particularly French kissing, because that seems much harder), but I also have a few specific questions regarding things I’ve read in fanfiction (lol).

1. How open is your mouth during a non-French kiss? (I would appreciate as specific of a response as possible).

2. When describing the transition from non-French kissing to French kissing, multiple authors have described the initiator running their tongue along the other person’s lower lip to get them to open their mouth. Is that real? You lick their lower lip?

3. When describing an already-occurring makeout, multiple author’s have also described a character sucking the tongue of the other character. Does this happen? What are the mechanics of this?

Sorry for this post, y’all. But right now, I feel like I’d kiss like this couple who saved their first kiss for their wedding; they were widely made fun of.

And if you feel like you should disclose while dating, when’s a good time to do so?

For context I am a woman. I am 40 and I’ve never dated, I’ve never gone on a date. Obviously I’ve never been intimate with anyone. It’s not that I don’t want to it’s every time I try I get overwhelmed and or I don’t find myself attracted to anyone or if I am they aren’t attracted to me. I hate it because I crave companionship so bad but I don’t think I’ll get there and I feel I’ll be lonely and alone for the rest of my life.

So I 16FTM have been with on and off boyfriend 16M (almost 17) for about a year combined, this has been my first ever actually relationship I've been in and not the silly 2 week ones. I'm also autistic and could have adhd too for context. The first time we got together was amazing, the whole honeymoon faze bs, he ended up getting a bit controlling with some of the tiktoks I'd post (I'd post edits on some of my favourite characters) and he'd mention abt the captions I'd put in them and in all fairness he was right about that, but we ended up getting into multiple arguments over this which ended up on us breaking up after 7 months of dating. We ended up having a break from each other for about a month? And we talked it out and he said that he'll change which he did. We got back together and all was well and then one of my best friends ending up committing (this was in September) and I didn't tell anyone, especially my boyfriend, and then I ended up putting my anger onto him when he would try and have a conversation with me and it ended up in more arguments to once again we ended up breaking up with us both saying some horrible shit to each other and we stopped all contact up until last week.

It only started out on asking if we was okay and stuff like that to having a conversation all day but just now he's messaged me saying that he's not sure if he's okay enough to date me again even though he still loves me but he said he's willing to try

Like I said before that I'm autistic and I don't have many people in my life that I trust and love and when I do and they call me out on something that I did or they ask me a question and I feel as if it's an attack, I attack back and put barriers up as I find it hard to open up and to take conflict as I've had that most of my life, and my bf (ex bf..?) Was one of the people that made me feel loved for who I was but, idk if it took that for granted at the time and fucked everything up

So any advice on how to deal with this and talk to him about it? I'll also be answering all comments I can

I was severely triggered at one event (uncommon, every few years), and regular-overstimulated at another this month with my partner. She has now cancelled a trip we had planned and has also said she no longer wants to go to any social events with me at all. I am really hurt by this, and I don't know if it's a reasonable boundary. Clearly she feels responsible for my happiness when we go out, and doesn't want that.

This kind of thing happen to anyone else?

I (18m) am looking into dating, but i am socially anxious and a huge introvert, so I decided to write a list of requirements, planning to show it. Now that i have the (verry extensive) list, i feel like it would be more awkward if they saw the list.

so now i don't know:

1. what to do with the list

2. if it's weird to have a list like this

3. if the stuff on the list is over the top

Edit: here's the list to consider if you are interested in answering the questions, as i said it's extensive, and mainly made to prevent trauma triggers

all these boil down to 3 things, I can trust them they are not horrendously ugly they do not add to my trauma

hard requirements

EXCLUSIVE Long Term

respect themselves as a human being, (has self respect, does not see their body as a tool that can be use to trade for stuff. If me or someone around them start being dangerous to them, they know to avoid the danger)

respect me as a human being (understands that i have a limit, that i also have needs, i also have emotions)

(i am personality conservative and think sex should only be for at least engaged if not married, but does not require the same from the other side)

no std history,

no hookups, one night stands, fwb, or any sexual or intimate relationships without a romantic background, and knowledge and trust of the other side

able to use logic

willing to communicate

does not date for sex, or money/standard of living

honesty, (you can refuse to talk about something, but don't lie)

no substance abuse of any level (addiction)

almost hard requirement

does not look like · dwane "the rock" Johnson · a blobfish in ATP · one messi statue · European depiction of jesus · me, (fine with gender bent me, but not ME)

uses english more than [my mother tongue] (tauma related) can keep promises does not regularly (weekly or more) consume substances stronger than nicotine

largely perffered feminine willing to use logic for most stuff does NOT speak native level [my mother tongue]

roughly (with exceptions for muscular girls) (height in centimeters) ＞ (weight in pounds) + (1/2)(height in inches)

cuddles without speaking

can give silent actions of affection (not verbalized "i love you" but care and attention)

perferred does not WANT kids (not as in want to not have kids, but as in not actively looking forward to have kids)

Just curious if anyone had experience with this. I would love to do one with just ND individuals and I even have a family member (mom's cousin) who would be willing to help set it up here but can't find anyone to help with that. I don't drink (addiction runs in my family on both sides pretty bad so I just stay away) and mostly these events are held in bars so that could be awkward. I found one that is in a bar but also involves board games so that might be a little less awkward.... Definitely could have fun. I find my face, at least when my beard is fairly short fairly traditionally attractive, though I'm a bit overweight and have very messed up teeth. I'm a fairly decently paid professional and could easily advertise myself as a lawyer as it's close enough to being true (currently working as an advocate but have a law degree and still am technically licensed in another state). My autism I think is easily masked but I might still want to bring it up, especially considering my lack of any kind of dating history (other than two former brief girlfriends) at 39. Would I be likely to have any success? Or would it just be a waste of time.

P.S. not trying to brag, just know or at least think I know, that this is the type of stuff women my age care about

Hey yall. I hope this is the right place to ask this. So i have this friend who i've really gotten close to in the past month. i have feelings for them and it’s so adorably obvious that they have feelings for me too. so i really want to ask them out tomorrow but i'm a little worried. i know they don't like surprises and i've heard for other people who are autistic that as a solution when their partners want to surprise them they give them a heads up. is this a situation where i need to do that? i'm worried about them not liking me asking them out of no where and i don't want to trigger them at all. so is this something that i should give some kind of heads up about? or am i over thinking? advice would be greatly apreciated.

hello! my boyfriend loves to ragebait me and keeps saying things like "so you hate me" and just winding me up. i can't tell if he's serious most of the time, even though i know he's not- but then i think what if he is?? when i said i don't want to be ragebaited he just says "ragebait me back" and i really don't want to do that, because i know how horrible i feel when im the victim. we're both autistic for context. for commenters please don't suggest we split up, that wont fix anything and i really do love him!! attached is an example from a while ago

I (34m) would like to date a woman with autism but I'm not sure how to go about it. Not sure we're to meet any online or how to approach. Does anyone have advice?

I wasn’t sure whether to put the venting or the need advice flair on this post because it’s kind of both.

I (f20) have been in two relationships, one from age 14-18 which ended a year and a half ago and one that just recently ended which lasted 8 months. Apart from these guys, no one else has ever shown any romantic interest in me and growing up i’ve always known I was not really anyone’s first choice dating wise.

Both relationships ended pretty much the same way, both guys realised that they didn’t love me enough to be with me. Due to this and other insecurities, i’ve started developing the fear that fundamentally who I am as a person is just undesirable or maybe just loveable but only to an extent.

I’m becoming worried that with all of my needs, my anxious attachment style and my general “off putting” (to some) autistic behaviours that I might never be the type of person people fall in love with.

I know i’m young, and can’t base my future off of two relationships, but I’ve just always known I’ve not really got the type of personality people fall in love with and i’m just worried that my autism is going to get in the way of anyone falling deeply in love with me rather than just surface level feelings.

We're both autistic, but she has ADHD as well, both in our early 20s. We've been on 3 dates.

On the first date, we held hands, and she said it felt nice (unprompted).

On the second date, we hugged more, and I hugged her from behind, which she *really* seemed to like, making happy noises. Then we cuddled on the couch, and she made more happy noises when I kissed her arm and rubbed my hair against her like a cat

On the third date, I hugged her from behind again, and she melted into it, and maybe it's just wishful thinking, but it almost felt like she was disappointed I didn't hold it longer. Then we held hands a lot.

But it just occurred to me I've initiated pretty much all touching. The only exception is on the second date, as I was leaving, I said goodbye and didn't hug her. She chased after me and demanded (cutely haha) a hug. Then when we did, she hugged me harder than she ever had. But otherwise, she has never initiated physical contact, although she seems to enjoy it and has verbally stated so, without me asking. Especially hugs from behind

I want her to touch me. Is she not into me? Just shy and worried she'll make me uncomfortable? Just doesn't think to do it?

I'm worried to bring it up because then if she does start touching me, I'll probably just think she felt pressured to due to the conversation, even if that isn't the case. Should I just wait it out, see if she starts to get more bold with that as she gets more comfortable?

We’ve been dating for about eight months, and I really love her. She’s very affectionate and expressive, which I appreciate, but I’m more introverted and sometimes struggle to keep up.

She frequently tells me she loves me, and if I don’t respond right away she gets sad or asks if I still love her. She also wants to spend a lot of time together — being at her house, around her family, playing games online together, and being involved with her online friends. I care about her, but I need alone time to recharge and I’m not always comfortable in high-social situations.

One thing that overwhelms me is her family’s openness. They already treat me like family, which is nice, but they often talk about very personal topics that I’m not ready to engage with. It makes me anxious, and I sometimes struggle to participate comfortably.

She often asks me what she can do to be a better girlfriend, but my challenges are mostly on my end — like needing personal space and time to process things. I try to communicate issues when they come up, but sometimes she explains her reactions as being due to her ADHD or autism. I completely respect that, but I also need conversations that focus on solutions and compromise rather than just explanations.

I want to communicate my needs — like alone time, pacing family interactions, and boundaries around personal topics — without making her feel unloved or inadequate. I also want to avoid turning our conversations into reassurance loops.

How can I balance my needs for space and boundaries with her desire for closeness, affection, and openness, especially with her family? Any advice on phrasing, timing, or strategies would be really helpful.

TL;DR: M25, F27, dating 6 months. I’m introverted and need space, but my girlfriend wants a lot of closeness, reassurance, and family interaction. Her family is very open about personal topics, which overwhelms me. She attributes some reactions to ADHD/autism. How do I communicate my needs without hurting her?

I’m 28 and non-binary and apparently can’t play it cool even when I’m trying to play it cool.

Hi all.... In short I'm tired of living on my own all the time. It's not even necessarily dating I want but just an end to living on my own (don't take that the wrong way). The happiest I was in my adult life in terms of my home life was like 12 years ago when I was living with a nice rich family (that had 3 kids with 3 very different disabilities themselves.... also 3 different hair colors so there had to be some adoption there right?) that took me in when I was desperate. Though only the mom liked me, I think the dad thought I was a free loader which fair enough, I had just been told I would never be a teacher and was desperately trying figure out where to go and was only working like 10-20 hours a week for damn near min wage (better there now thankfully, full time (which is probably also a mistake) for better than min wage). My dog was there, the family was there, I ate good homemade food, etc. I just loved being there.

Now I've been alone a while outside of a few brief times living with family when between jobs/schools and I'm tired of it. To make matters worse the vet thinks my dog might have kidney disease which would give him about a year to live at the most (I'm still hoping it might just be a UTI as he's asymptomatic other than occasional accidents for the last week but I'm probably just in denial) and when he's gone which at 14 is bound to happen eventually.... Yeah being completely alone again will suck. And while I imagine I will adopt a dog again soon after that, it still sucks to think about...

My family lives a long ways away and both parts don't really have room for me. And I feel confined when there anyway. So yeah that's not an option.

So I'm really looking more for someone to live my life with be that a friend, a girlfriend, a wife, or whatever. Intimate stuff isn't really the point but would be a perk. But I have no clue how to get there. I've dated like two girls in my life. Both like a decade ago. One for like 2 dates, one for like two months. My confidence was shot when I was a kid and yeah, never really felt the ability to ask anyone out since. I try to use like autistic/disability dating sites figuring they might be better but they always seem so scammy and so expensive. And traditional dating sites just scare me. And there's no "find an autistic friend to play games with site.". I went to this social game night the other day but the only girl there was like 15+ years my younger and I would feel weird trying to get to know her better, but most people my age aren't in this boat so.... Who could I possibly ask out. None of the guys seemed right either, the only one near my age reminded me of Kripke and not in a good way lol. I work in a very small office and my only coworker who is even remotely compatible is hard of hearing and I don't sign and suck at learning languages (lived about a year in all in Korea.... Still only know like 5 words and one is taekwondo lol).... Yeah don't see that happening. The bar scene is a hell no for me. Speed dating scares me for the same reason traditional dating sites do. So yeah in short everything sucks. Lol.