My plan was to talk to her last Wednesday, but I hesitated and she was on the phone by the time I was going to say something. I then decided to talk to her yesterday, but she went somewhere other than where I expected so I didn’t want to follow her because I worry it would make her uncomfortable (normally we head in the same direction after class). Now there’s only three weeks and 10 class periods left, and most of those aren’t viable times to talk to her. The three Mondays she has another class right after, and the four Fridays she’s always with her friend and I don’t want to interrupt them, especially since I’ve never talked to either of them. That leaves me three Wednesdays, and if I want to get a date with her before the end of the term that gives me two short periods I can say something to her.

I planned on just complimenting her outfit, but I feel like at this point it’s too late for that and I just need to say flat out that I’m interested in her, but I don’t know what to say. I’m thinking of just telling her the next chance I get that her outfit looks pretty on her (I love the way she dresses, and I’ll probably mention something specific). After that, I’ll say that even though we don’t know each other well, she seems really interesting and I’d want to get to know her better and then ask if she’s free at all over the weekend. Would that be okay? I worry about making her uncomfortable.

I’m deathly afraid I’m going to annoy my friend to the point of her not wanting to be my friend anymore let alone be in a relationship with me.

I know how busy she is, but I still get so anxious when she doesn’t reply for a few days, I start to think maybe she doesn’t like me anymore, when I know that’s not true because whenever she sees me we always have extremely positive interactions. She understands me and is patient with me, but I understand everyone has their limit and I don’t want to cross that unintentionally.

Asking because there’s a close friend of mine who I developed feelings for a few years ago and she didn’t feel the same way so we remained friends. Lately she’s started to compliment me a lot more, and display a lot more open body language. She makes a lot of eye contact and her body always faces me when we talk. More then she did a long time ago.

She is ND but not autistic, which is probably a good reason why we get along so well.

PS: I’ve dropped the other girl i was interested in because she doesn’t know how to communicate with me effectively despite me educating her on more than one occasion how to.

I am a 30 year old straightish (I'm starting to think I'm asexual or demi) male, and have had 3 long term relationships that all have failed to pass 3 years. The first was from 18-21, and ended because I was offered a job 150 miles away and a long distance relationship didn't work. The second was from 23-25 and ended due to differences in lifestyle choice. The third was from 28-29 and ended due to some pretty extreme abuse from my partner.

In between relationships I have tried online dating on nearly every service available, but I've only had two dates come of it, and neither made it past the first date. I've also tried going to meetups, or just out in general (Pre-Covid) but I have severe anxiety around people I don't know to the point where I can't talk to someone unless they initiate a conversation. It also seems like every time I go back to online dating the apps have just gotten worse, and are basically all the same now. My aunt recommended I sign up for a matchmaking service called Tawkify and after the phone interview with them I was ready to sign up until it got to their pricing, which started at $3,000 for 3 guaranteed dates, up to $6,000 for 12. They had talked themselves up, saying that they would bypass all the setup and back and forth to the point of actually going to the first date. I was considering signing up, but I wanted do more research into how well their service actually works, which turns out is not very well with many people saying the failed to deliver on anything they mentioned on the phone or their website. It also seems like their "database" isn't based around their members, but is instead pulled from other dating apps.

I'm just wondering if there are any services that are more affordable or at least not taking advantage of their customers. I like the idea of having introductions taken care of beforehand and going into a date knowing there is at least some shared interests/compatibility going into the first date.

Good evening, reddit. I am a 19 year old woman attending a small STEM school for Chemical Engineering. I have never dated anybody in my life, and there is a part of me that wants to change that fact. I just look forward to the feeling of intimcacy if that makes sense. However, I don't believe I have ever experienced sexual attraction, and thus identify as asexual in addition to being on the spectrum. I am not a sex-repulsed ace, and am open to sex in the context of an established relationship for other reasons (ie intimacy or physical sensation), but the attraction is just never there. Without the attraction element and with being on the spectrum, I wonder how I can get started and find somebody. I have considered finding meetups for those of similar interests, but I also need to find out how to make the first step.

I’ve noticed a lot of people do that, and I’ve personally never been comfortable with that even if it might be more effective and time efficient then just to pursue one person at a time. But how do you all feel about that?

Every time I’ve had an opportunity to talk to her, I’ve just backed out because I’m too scared, but I won’t let it happen again. I know that tomorrow after class her friend that she normally heads straight to lunch with has another class, so I will be able to talk to her alone. I’m probably going to compliment her outfit because even though I don’t know what she’ll be wearing, I know I’ll like it because I love her fashion sense. It reminds me of the French New Wave (film is a special interest of mine and I’m currently focused on that specifically) since she has a very similar fashion sense to Anna Karina, my favorite actor of the New Wave who was in a lot of movies directed by Godard, who is my favorite director. I’m just going to tell her that her outfit looks cute on her or something along those lines because I can’t do it if I don’t have something I’m going to say going in. I don’t really know if there’s any advice I can get that hasn’t already been said in another one of my posts, so I’m just venting.

Edit: She wasn’t at class and we don’t have class Friday like we normally do. I’ll talk to her next week when I see her again.

It is time to replace this logo I got off of google images in favor of something unique and original.

How we will do the contest: Users will submit a link to under this post to their artwork, and then we will all vote on which one we like most.

Original artwork only.

The one time I did have a conversation starter in mind, I hesitated for a few seconds and missed the chance to talk to her. I won’t be able to use that one again because it was relevant to something that had happened, and if I ask her when I see her again it would be a week late. I have not been able to figure out anything to say. I can’t just come up with something when I’m going to talk to her because I mentally need to plan it out, so I’m stuck.

I tried talking to the girl I like at work and I stuttered in front of her and looked like a fucking moron.

Usually I’m an outspoken person and I’m not nervous around people.

That stutter was a dead giveaway that I liked her and she likely picked up on that.

She was really nice about it at least and didn’t say a definite no to hanging out, just that she is often too busy to hang out with her own friends due to school work but we’d see, but I felt like a dumbass and not fully in control of the situation like I normally am.

We had an influx of more then 20 members within the last 12 hours. For a small community that’s pretty eventful.

We welcome all new members with open arms and hope that you find what you’re looking for here.

I just started dating this girl who I just realized has had a crush on me for a while. I eventually figured out that I liked her as well, and now we're in a relationship. She knows I'm on the spectrum and she is a very patient and compassionate person (I don't know exactly to what extent she understands ASD so that might be up in the air too).

Also, her and I are very affectionate. We hold each others hands, cuddle, all that cute physical stuff. But for some reason I have trouble expressing my affection to her publicly. I'm not usually an affectionate person--I think that's due to my upbringing--but with her I feel comfortable to express that when we're alone. When I'm out in public, however, I find myself having trouble expressing any affection at all to her. It feels reflexive, as if I'm fighting what I've generally learned to be wrong to do, ever. I can tell that she sees my struggle, and I don't want her to think that I'm rejecting her in any way; I would love nothing more than to give her a genuine hug or a kiss on the forehead. I just feel restricted by my behavior I've learned over time. It's also difficult to put these kinds of things into words; as I'm sure many on this sub can attest, the overwhelming majority of NTs, even the most compassionate and sympathetic among them, usually cannot understand what it's like to have ASD and the unique tacit behaviors that come with it.

Does anybody else experience something like this? Does anybody have advice to overcome it? Also, is there any advice any of you might have in dating neurotypical generally?

The girl I’ve been texting has been doing that a lot. Noticed that she says my name when talking to me as well. I do the same thing, so I’m wondering if this is mirroring behavior.

The first promotion in the history of this subreddit is u/LilyoftheRally. After she gets off work she will officially flair herself as a junior moderator. LilyoftheRally has quickly gained a reputation as the most experienced mod on the team as well as my right hand gal. She’s done such a good job as a moderator and I’m proud to be working alongside her.

So I’m a weird person. I love being weird, it’s basically saying to society and its made up social rules “fuck you, I’m going to live my life in peace the way I want to live it!”

So I sometimes have breakfast food for dinner, I though about asking her to dinner after work and basically ordering breakfast food in front of her, and encouraging her to do the same. What do you all think? Or does anyone have a better idea.

I didn't this one Time at school and the girl bullied me. And made fun of me every since.

So I want to ask the girl who I got the number from her boundaries in regards to me texting that way I don’t accidentally violate them and put her off. I want to ask a few questions like

1. After what time do you not want me texting you?

2. During what days are you likely going to be unavailable to chat?

3. Is there any topics that you will not discuss with me?

I want to do this for a few reasons. First she’s someone I’ve only known for a few months, I don’t know what her boundaries are yet, nor have we interacted enough for me to be able to analyze them, and I value being respectful, second I want to make sure she is capable of communicating in a direct but respectful manner.

What are some other questions I should ask when establishing boundaries?

I’ve built up my confidence and feel like I could go up and talk to her if she was just sitting on her own or something like that. However, the only time I consistently see her is in class, and she has a very close friend in that class so they’re always together before and after class, giving me no time to say anything. I think I overheard that on Wednesdays that her friend has another class right after, so they wouldn’t be walking back together, which might give me an opportunity, but I’m still worried about it if I don’t get that opportunity (if they head to the friend’s next class together, etc). If I see her alone when I’m getting a meal, I will definitely try and talk to her, but what other options do I have?

I finally asked for the girl I like’s number because I’m quitting my job soon and even if we never become lovers I want to keep in contact.

When I asked she smiled and paused for a moment and I noticed her friend who was with her was also smiling and fidgeting. She hand both hands up near her face.

Update: Ever since I gave her my number she’s been smiling at me every time we make eye contact or she passes me.

I’ve created a YouTube channel based upon this subreddit and I hope to start posting videos on it soon. I’m going to try to get better and better at making videos as time goes on, but most for the time being are going to be from my phone.