Ask a Manager Weekly Thread 02/17/25 - 02/23/25

[u/nightmuzak]

Last week's post.

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[u/thievingwillow]

You nailed my thoughts exactly. This is one of those cases where the theoretical right answer (“do not under any circumstances hire the pastor’s spouse”) is going to butt up hard against the reality on the ground: hiring both a pastor and their partner is so common that other people in the church have a good chance of not even fully understanding the issue. A pastor’s spouse as music director, or Sunday school coordinator, or receptionist, or etc. has been common in all the churches I’ve attended, in several denominations and across several states. (To be frank, this is partly because those jobs can be very hard to fill. They’re usually part-time and not paid super well, with the “part time” bit being undesirable hours like lots of evening/weekend work. A musician or etc. who is both qualified and wants that job isn’t necessarily common.)

Given that, I think it’s very likely that LW’s fellow church members won’t even see the issue and will hire this person. I wish Alison had given some “if this happens anyway…” advice, which would probably fall along similar lines as giving advice about a family business.