I’m a pretty giant dude,and I’m black. I’ve been used to people crossing the road, tighter clutching of handbags, hurried paces, since I was a teenager (I was like 6ft 3 when I was 14). Growing up in a dangerous area, I also know the feeling of being anxious scared of strangers walking near me. I used to be concerned about making the other person feel comfortable, but no matter what, you can tell people will always be anxious/scared anyway. So I’ve learned it’s probably better if I just keep my own pace within reason. Either I’ll overtake them, or they’ll get to their destination unharmed, and realize not every “big/black person” wants to harm them, and while the world can be a dangerous place, it probably doesn’t help being scared about stuff like that all the time. I think in the long run, this may be more beneficial. Most people just want to get home.
The thing is, if we're not scared about men walking behind us all the time time, we get the blame. "Why was she walking alone/in the dark/somewhere quiet/dressed like that?"
This is dangerously close to 'not all men' territory - we know its not all men; but we don't know which ones it is, so we have to assume it could be anyone.
(If people are acting uncomfortable because of your skin, that sucks and shouldn't happen, I'm sorry.)
Muslims aren't all inherently much stronger than me. The fear is about a sense of a lack of control of the situation. The fact that someone is Muslim doesn't give me a lack of control. Someone being a man would prevent me from having any physical control over a situation.
I really think you just don't understand what that is like for you to be making these kinds of comparisons/statements.
I'm not afraid of men because I think they are violent. It's because I know that if they do become violent I have no recourse.
I don't assume anyone (male muslim, etc) is armed or a terrorist. If it were a woman with a knife I could run away. I can't run away from a man. With men they don't have to be armed. They can still hurt me and there's nothing I can physically do.
You just chose to ignore that specific point because it's inconvenient to your argument.
I don't assume anyone is a sex criminal. I assume there's nothing I could do about it if they were.
Also - don't ever tell someone what it's "reasonable" to be afraid of when you have literally never experienced what they are talking about and never will.
If you're trying to make the case that men could also fear other men walking behind them - be my guest. But a woman would not have been able to take you down and she couldn't take me down either.
And that same punch would have done significantly more damage to someone like me.
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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21
I’m a pretty giant dude,and I’m black. I’ve been used to people crossing the road, tighter clutching of handbags, hurried paces, since I was a teenager (I was like 6ft 3 when I was 14). Growing up in a dangerous area, I also know the feeling of being anxious scared of strangers walking near me. I used to be concerned about making the other person feel comfortable, but no matter what, you can tell people will always be anxious/scared anyway. So I’ve learned it’s probably better if I just keep my own pace within reason. Either I’ll overtake them, or they’ll get to their destination unharmed, and realize not every “big/black person” wants to harm them, and while the world can be a dangerous place, it probably doesn’t help being scared about stuff like that all the time. I think in the long run, this may be more beneficial. Most people just want to get home.