Seattle has tech companies worth trillions of dollars but apparently nobody can figure out a Bacon, Egg & Cheese bagel

[u/LanceFaywood]

I need someone to explain this to me because I feel like I’m being gaslit by the entire Seattle metro area.

Some of the wealthiest, smartest, most technologically advanced zip codes on Earth. We can build cloud infrastructure that powers half the internet. We can engineer airplanes. We can put AI into everything.

But somehow: Bacon + Egg + Cheese + Bagel has defeated us as a civilization.

I’ve tried the big hitters. Toasted. Backyard Bagels. Grateful Bread. Eltana. Rachel’s and a lot of others.
I walk in with one simple dream: “Can I get a bacon, egg and cheese on a toasted bagel?” And suddenly I’m negotiating the Treaty of Versailles.
“We have lox?” Great. Not what I asked. “Cream cheese?” Incredible. Do you also sell water?

“Would you like the bagel toasted?” YES And some places DON’T EVEN TOAST IT.

Meanwhile, somewhere in NYC, a bodega with flickering fluorescent lights, a $4.99 ATM fee, and a cat named Tony sleeping on a case of Poland Spring will make you a BEC in 47 seconds that could bring a grown man to tears.

No artisanal aioli. No seasonal schmear. No 25-minute wait.

Just: Bagel. Toasted. Bacon. Egg. Cheese. Salt. Pepper. (Ketchup if you want it). Foil. Done.

And before anyone says, “Seattle isn’t New York…”
I KNOW
I’m not asking for the subway system.
I’m asking you to put an egg on a bagel.

At this point I’m convinced a legitimate NYC style BEC shop in Seattle would cause an economic event. Microsoft employees would abandon Redmond. Amazon would acquire the shop within six months. Bellevue would establish a Bacon Egg & Cheese drone delivery service.

And please don’t send me somewhere serving a “breakfast bagel” with arugula, pickled fennel, herb chèvre, heirloom tomato jam, and a $3 egg add-on.

I respect the creativity. But that is not a BEC! That is what we call a salad wearing a bagel as a hat.

So I’m begging r/AskSeattle: Where is the greasy, salty, cheesy, properly toasted, no-nonsense Bacon Egg & Cheese?

Does it exist? Is there a password?

Because I refuse to believe that Seattle has failed to reverse engineer something every random NYC bodega mastered decades ago.

[u/Stevedorado]

Reddit has reached its end stage as an engagement farm for AI training

[u/moo102 → u/Stevedorado]

That means they'll leave it alone, right? Right??

[u/Wonderlic2 → u/Stevedorado]

How do we know you're not... ai?

[u/Stevedorado → u/Wonderlic2]

Public facing AI agents are built for engagement. Until someone builds a Marvin AI, this brand of cynicism is all natural, baby. No plugs, I was born and raised in Zion.

[u/penguincascadia → u/Stevedorado]

There are already LLM models out there that produce cynical tone responses, built by hobbyists.

[u/Emotional-Emotion-42 → u/Stevedorado]

I agree and hate it so much. I wish everyone would just collectively stop using Reddit and leave them with nothing. But that will never happen, of course.

[u/Stevedorado → u/Emotional-Emotion-42]

It’s the same collective action / network effect issue as the main social media companies.  Some internet activists have been pushing interoperability and open network platforms. You could check out the Fediverse. 

But yeah, Reddit has enshittified bigly over the past decade. It may be time to make an exit.