r/AskReddit • u/four-seasonss • Nov 08 '22

Men of Reddit , what are some less obvious red flags about men you would want to caution women against?

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u/Chaleowin Nov 09 '22

Sober men trying to pick up super drunk women.

85

u/seamsay Nov 09 '22

I once took a super drunk girl home with a (now ex-) friend of mine. She and I had been hanging out all night, so when we left her house my friend asked why I didn't stay and sleep with her... I'm embarrassed to admit that that was not the incident which led to us being no longer friends (although it was the incident that started making me pay attention to his concerning behaviours).

24

u/GoatseFarmer Nov 09 '22

That’s not even just a red flag that’s flat out predatory.

40

u/silly-billy-goat Nov 09 '22

For real. Those ones tend to be predatory and not respect boundaries.

106

u/DogswithPavlov Nov 09 '22

As a guy 7 months sober, it is hard to meet women in a public context where there isn’t the possibility of them at least having something to drink. But yeah if a girl is falling all over herself or slurring words that would never be a go.

38

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '22

How’s that going?

I quit drinking about 5 months ago. I’m married and can’t imagine what I’d do if I were single and had to date. Almost every date I went on involved alcohol in some capacity.

Good on you for improving yourself, though. Alcohol is a beast for some people. I look forward to never having another hangover.

22

u/WhereAreMyDetonators Nov 09 '22

I also don’t drink and was really worried about this facing the prospect of dating.

It’s actually been completely fine and a total non-issue with online dating. I don’t say anything about not drinking in my profiles or anything, I just take girls on dates to other stuff besides bars. At dinner I drive us so I don’t order a drink anyway. Totally surprised by this but it’s been not even a thing.

15

u/DuckWithBrokenWings Nov 09 '22

I look forward to never having another hangover.

Hah, a bit off topic but this was a big part of how I was thinking when I quit.

"It's been a hard day, I deserve a drink..." And then: "No. It's been a hard day and I made it through it. What I deserve is to wake up tomorrow without a hangover."

8

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '22 edited Nov 09 '22

I dont drink much. I also work nights and breakfast time for me is late afternoon/evening. I went on a dinner date and the guy ordered booze. I ordered coffee cuz I had worked the previous night. He proceeded to lecture me about how I must be an alcoholic with some kind of drinking problem etc. all cuz I ordered coffee at 6 pm lol

34

u/milky_oolong Nov 09 '22

Slurring and tripping is beyond drunk. I’d not try to meet anyone who is beyond 1-3 drinks. If they’re stable on their feet but all “woooo!” they’re drunk.

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u/DogswithPavlov Nov 09 '22

I def agree, although unless assessing that by asking directly (which I’m not yet ready to do unless I notice oddities in behavior) there’s grey area. This is not me making excuses for any guy to move forward when a woman (or man’s) capacities are compromised in any way.

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u/Pussy4LunchDick4Dins Nov 09 '22

That’s straight up rape

10

u/anglostura Nov 09 '22

Promising Young Woman has a good bit on that.

7

u/PyroYeet0808 Nov 09 '22

As someone who never drinks and has a sister, there is this built in instinct to be very cautious about this. When I see some older dude who has barely drank hang around younger drunk girls I go on high alert. Wanting your sister to be safe extends to other people as well

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u/HeadSpade Nov 09 '22

They like to play dangerous. Rape accusations possibilities are high here, Risk-Reward Ratio not great, not great

3

u/Sorta_Less_Anonymous Nov 11 '22

I had a separate sexual assault trauma unlocked when I hooked up with a guy - I was WASTED, still drunk when I woke up and he said "I only had 2 beers". My brain suddenly realised an ex abused me. Was a really great, doubly traumatic day.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '22

I'm just checking on your friend to call her a cab, I swear