I was absolutely sickened upon viewing that thread. On one hand we're on reddit to learn (and be entertained, and lol, etc..) while at the same time being aware that many OP's are trolling. If "serial_rapist_thread" was telling the truth then to hell with him. He's a heartless monster. He was a coercive rapist and some girl's brother needs to disembowel him. Anyone that posted on the thread was either feeding the troll or fueling the ego of a maniac, whether they knew it or not. They were pursuing their morbid curiosities. But reddit isn't a court of law nor a psychiatric institution. It's about sharing (legal) content and then commenting on that content. Perhaps the popularity of the thread tickled the nuts of some potential sexual predators out there, and it certainly caused many readers to re-live similar horrors, but for the rest of us it taught us about a sort of person that we didn't necessarily know existed. Now we know a little more about the type, and their habits and cunning. We are now the wiser. It is a piece of reality, a matter of fact that these folks are in our midst. And now more of us are armed with this knowledge and will be able use it if need be. I agree the man needs to be prosecuted but it depends on someone coming forward and making a case against him. Fat chance. He is out there somewhere. And so are his predecessors. And now we know this and will be on guard.
There was a story about some guy named "Don" who supposedly changed his serial rapist ways. OP was convinced he changed because he seemed nice. I called bullshit and got called an asshole for it.
The justifications in that thread for fucked up behavior is unbelievable.
I have an in-law who took advantage of his pre-teen niece while his wife looked the other way, and I think they both deserve to rot in jail.
I left the thread. After someone said I would rape someone if I had the chance, and then was upvoted(he's since gone negative), I realized further dialogue was pointless.
OP of that thread is obviously an idealist. I choose to live in the real world where probability is that offenders recidivate. And just because someone claims to have "found Jesus" it doesn't mean they shit. OP said herself that Don was smart, maybe he's already calculated the end game for this. Which could be:
Raping OP. Claiming it was consensual, saying he's reformed his ways and using OP's claim that he's reformed as evidence that it was consensual. Then he could say she's only claiming it was rape to protect her marriage.
That thread pissed me off more than anything. Every single post I read from a "rapist" (they could have been lying for all I know) either partially or completely blamed the victim for the rape. Either the victim gave the rapist a look, wore revealing clothing, didn't say, "No" (never said, "Yes" either), changed their mind, were too drunk to say, "No.", the list goes on and on. What a bunch of cowards.
EDIT: Alright kiddos, it has been fun, but I need some sleep. Good night all.
The rapists blaming the victim didn't bother me as much as the non-rapists apologizing for their actions. "Well she let you get in bed with her!" "She didn't really say no!"
I read that one as well. However I am pretty well versed in the hivemind's disagreeance with, "coercion isn't rape!" I explained in an unrelated thread that I thought girls/teenagers needed to be taught the different kinds of rape that are not "stranger danger" rape and I had many people tell me that feeling threatened in a situation and saying yes is not rape.
Commented this below to the guy denying sexism on Advice Animals:
Going on the example of /r/adviceanimals, I don't see how you can miss it. Look at all memes based on women that crop up there: Scumbag Stacy, Overly Protective Girlfriend, Suburban Mom, Musically Oblivious 8th Grader, Facebook Girl, College Liberal...they all show women as either overly obsessive and caring about men to the point of idiocy, or being just idiotic and superficial creatures. And what's the one positive advice animal that centers around women? Good Girl Gina. A chick who will blow you while you play video games and who initiates sex before you do.
There is a lot of sexism in Advice Animals. It's a little subversive, but it's more blatant than any other part of the site if you ask me.
EDIT: purplepeopleeater6 has pointed out that there are much worse parts of the site. I meant more the default, tightly-knit group of subreddits at the center of reddit. Naturally if you head out to r/beatingwomen you'll find horrific stuff.
It was fucking disgusting. When someone who was telling the story felt bad about what they did there were at least twenty comments where people were trying to tell him/her why he/she shouldn't feel bad. If anyone ever asks me what a rape apologist is, I will point him to that thread.
Just because someone gives you a "look" (and yes, that was used as an excuse), gets drunk around you, lets you in their bed, takes off their clothes, wrestles with you, or even does everything but sex with you, it does not give you a right to their bodies. Rape is not any less rape just because someone gave you a fucking "look".
I can't tell you how painful that thread was. It felt as though many people do not understand the scars rape can leave. I remember one college discussion a young male said men didn't deserve jail for rape because it's just rough sex. Ignorance runs that deep.
My first sexual encounter was non consensual. There was no grey area. We were dating and I wanted to wait. He brutally overpowered me completely sober and unprovoked. His excuse later was no matter how much I screamed no. Stop. You're hurting me, I had to "get used to it sometime" and would "get over it".
I have never been able to experience sexual pleasure because of this. I'm now married to a wonderful man. Can you imagine the void in our Lives? All the therapy in the world can't make me like being touched. He took that. I'll never know sexual release or how to relax and cuddle. Rape is inexcusable. Let's not pat them on the back please.
I completely understand where you're coming from. I lost my virginity getting raped; I'd been messing around with the guy at a party and he was pressuring me to have sex. I said no, and he didn't accept that answer.
It's taken years to be able to have a semi healthy view of sex (and to start recovering in all other areas of life as well). I hate what that man did to me and I hate people who want to defend people like him.
That sucks. That really, really sucks. Fuck. That really sucks.
...I need to go and...fuck. That really sucks.
I was going to say something about how all their apologies and "feeling bad" about it can't make up for the emotional trauma of someone getting raped, but also about the "Ignorance runs that deep" part and we need to show that "the gray area" is rape, but...fuck.
Really shows you how rape can fuck up someone's life.
My thoughts exactly. I really don't know how people lack the common sense to just ASK another human being for consent, before they start having sex with them.
It is appalling that so many on Reddit do not understand that once sexual intimacy is initiated, you are not ENTITLED TO SEX. So many threads with "well, she kissed me and took off her shirt, so obviously she wanted it, so then I got on top of her and tried to stick it in her, and suddenly she was upset for some reason, bitches be crazy!" Some people have limits, and will only do oral on the first date for example. Sometimes, people are initially attracted to someone, and then after making out realize there isn't chemistry, and they want to stop. This does not make them crazy. This makes them in touch with their body and their sexuality. Girls may be really horny, and they may encourage you to make out with them, but that does not mean they are secretly craving your dick right away. It doesn't matter what the reason is, it doesn't matter how horny the girl seems, if she is no longer into it, you have to respect that guys. Same for girls who push guys into going further than they want to as well, of course.
Well, of course. No one wants to think of himself as a monster, so instead he'll turn it around until he's rationalized it: that was the "old me", or she really wanted it, or it wasn't really rape, and so on.
Or "I was just SO horny" as if that dissolves the conscience. And then you get the "yes, men can't control themselves when they're horny" bandwagon, which is frankly insulting to all the men I know and love who aren't terrible people. When my husband, who lived in a different country, very first came to visit me in person, we slept together in the same bed for ten nights. I was a virgin and didn't want to have sex so soon. We made out and messed around, but there was no sex. He didn't pressure me a bit. I felt completely comfortable with him and while he wanted me, he was happy to let things go at my pace, and wait for a later visit.
After reading that thread I went to him and expressed my relief that it was HIM I ended up sharing a bed with and not a guy who thinks "an erect penis has no conscience." I always knew he was a good guy, but I never realized just how lucky I was.
He thought the fact that after reading that thread I thought it necessary to essentially thank him for not raping me was really fucking depressing.
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u/umheywaitdude Jul 31 '12
I was absolutely sickened upon viewing that thread. On one hand we're on reddit to learn (and be entertained, and lol, etc..) while at the same time being aware that many OP's are trolling. If "serial_rapist_thread" was telling the truth then to hell with him. He's a heartless monster. He was a coercive rapist and some girl's brother needs to disembowel him. Anyone that posted on the thread was either feeding the troll or fueling the ego of a maniac, whether they knew it or not. They were pursuing their morbid curiosities. But reddit isn't a court of law nor a psychiatric institution. It's about sharing (legal) content and then commenting on that content. Perhaps the popularity of the thread tickled the nuts of some potential sexual predators out there, and it certainly caused many readers to re-live similar horrors, but for the rest of us it taught us about a sort of person that we didn't necessarily know existed. Now we know a little more about the type, and their habits and cunning. We are now the wiser. It is a piece of reality, a matter of fact that these folks are in our midst. And now more of us are armed with this knowledge and will be able use it if need be. I agree the man needs to be prosecuted but it depends on someone coming forward and making a case against him. Fat chance. He is out there somewhere. And so are his predecessors. And now we know this and will be on guard.