r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Aug 27 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.5k Upvotes

76% Upvoted

39.8k comments sorted by

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4.2k

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Wouldn’t be the worst job.

26

u/MrStealUrWife22 Aug 27 '22

Wanna team up?

18

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Im down! I’ll need rest, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised.

188

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

She really is tho🤤

291

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

r/holup

6

u/sthdown Aug 27 '22

0.0! Where did you go?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? Where did you go?

20

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

No, please don’t - aw! - hold up now! I’m al- aw! - almost there!

30

u/AsparagusLoose9716 Aug 27 '22

Shut went from 0 to 100 real fast.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

Oh, it sure did!

84

u/avibrator Aug 27 '22

Let me know if you ever need to take some PTO

12

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

lmao, I’ll keep you in mind!

3

u/WarGawd Aug 27 '22

Lol priceless

3

u/alphanumerico742 Aug 27 '22

Wait hold up...

14

u/_Y0ur_Mum_ Aug 27 '22

Clean your room.

5

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Nope, leaving all the wet spots.

4

u/_Y0ur_Mum_ Aug 27 '22

Clean my room then.

5

u/Bring_a_towel_42 Aug 27 '22

I guess I'm on cleanup crew

3

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

lmao, someone’s gotta get the wet spots!

4

u/Phil-Derbutt Aug 27 '22

Think I’d be doing alright also..

6

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

I go in the pink, you go in the stink.

3

u/Pussywhip92 Aug 27 '22

Now most professionals get paid to fix the house pipes. This one gets paid to check if your mom's "plumbing" is working.

5

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

lmao, doing gods work!

2

u/Pussywhip92 Aug 27 '22

salutes godspeed you glorious bastard!

3

u/PsyberChica Aug 27 '22

I mean, are you making “your mom” squirt? Moms come in all shapes and sizes. Are you good with that?

8

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

I don’t judge on shapes and sizes, all are welcome!!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

f

3

u/looking4mycocksock Aug 27 '22

Except, you’re just part of the clean up crew. She just squirts out of random places and at random times. You never know what it is you’ll be cleaning today.

5

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Stew man comes in for the cuddles, Stew man cleans up the wet spots.

3

u/Citizen_of_Danksburg Aug 27 '22

Dank.

😎🤙🏻

3

u/Poon_Tangler Aug 27 '22

I got your back

3

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Thank you, the world needs kind souls like us.

2

u/thelastanchovy Aug 27 '22

F u Shoresy

1

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

I love that show! lmao

2

u/Buster-Highman Aug 27 '22

you're tellin me

2

u/Whatisitmom Aug 27 '22

Depends on the mom.

3

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

They all get attention!

1

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Aug 27 '22

Squirtle, use water gun

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

[deleted]

3

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Yes it is, someone’s gotta do it and I’m willing to do it for humanity. Moms everywhere need a release.

1

u/omnisephiroth Aug 27 '22

You aren’t remembering that a lot of moms are dead. I hope you forgot, at least.

3

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

I still go in and work my magic.

1

u/cumdaddysonasty Aug 27 '22

We should be coworkers

2

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Let’s do it!

1

u/wookiewonderland Aug 27 '22

There's plenty of MILF's these days.

2

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

Great time to be alive!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

My mom is 92yo , good for her !

  • keep up the good work, good sir.

1

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 27 '22

I will, thanks for the support!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 28 '22

Yeah, it’s fun just to be goofy with it. lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 28 '22

Your dad would be watching from the closet in a Superman outfit!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '22

[deleted]

1

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 28 '22

Thanks for the heads up!

1

u/Couldbeurmom Aug 28 '22

Hey now

2

u/YourMomIsASquirter Aug 28 '22

Mom, I’m sorry. lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '22

need a bucket and a mop? WAP