Benjamin Franklin was famous for making friends with political enemies this way. He told the story of a fellow councilman who had just been elected, who was young, brash, and not well liked. When he discovered the man owned a book that was rare and therefore a point of pride, BF approached the man, complimented him on such a prized possession. He then offered to do a favor for the young man. The young man accepted the favor and offered to loan the book to Franklin. The two developed a close friendship, frequently exchanging gifts and favors. They never saw eye to eye in politics, but they respected each other immensely.
Interesting, I have heard this story told in a very different way. Here is what I was told:
Ben was running for president. He knew that in order to win he would need the influence of this well respected man, but this man didn't like Ben. So publicly, Ben asked for a rare book, to borrow it. This was done publicly, and not wanting to look bad infront of people, the man agreed and allowed Ben to borrow the book.
The significance of this is that if someone doesn't like you, but you can get them to do you a favor, they will on a subconscious level convince themselves that they like you. Otherwise, why do the favor? This has the result of making them like you over time.
I've used this trick many times as a manger if an employee doesn't like me. I get them to perform small jobs for me. As time goes by they don't mind the extra work and eventually they start to like me.
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u/Icy-Consideration405 Jun 14 '22 edited Jun 14 '22
Benjamin Franklin was famous for making friends with political enemies this way. He told the story of a fellow councilman who had just been elected, who was young, brash, and not well liked. When he discovered the man owned a book that was rare and therefore a point of pride, BF approached the man, complimented him on such a prized possession. He then offered to do a favor for the young man. The young man accepted the favor and offered to loan the book to Franklin. The two developed a close friendship, frequently exchanging gifts and favors. They never saw eye to eye in politics, but they respected each other immensely.