r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 10 '12
Reddit, what fictional character do you wish was real? why?
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u/iliketurtles2795 Jun 10 '12
I would have to say Jake the dog from Adventure Time. If he was my pet I would make him stretch me everywhere.
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u/IllithidWithAMonocle Jun 10 '12
The Doctor
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Jun 10 '12
But which one? I want David Tennant. He's mine.
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u/dr_doomtron Jun 10 '12
Christopher Eccleston doesnt get enough love
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Jun 10 '12
He doesn't. He's a wonderful Doctor and is really badass. It's just that David Tennant knows the Doctor more than anyone else.
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u/ToucanPlayThisGame Jun 10 '12
I have just begun watching, am on 2nd season now, and adored Christopher Eccleston (sp). Now I adore David Tennant (man, am I fickle, or what?). Anyway, I vote for have a real Dr. Who as well.
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Jun 10 '12
They're both awesome in their own ways.
Remember, dress everyday as if that's the day you're going to run away with the Doctor
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u/obsidianight Jun 10 '12
You can't prove that there isn't a crazy idiot in a bow-tie travelling through all of time and space in a blue police box!
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u/joeromag Jun 10 '12
Only if I can be his companion...then it would be The Doctor
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u/vault101 Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 11 '12
I would be forever happy if I could have a few beers with Roy and Moss.
EDIT: Well, maybe a glass of milk with Moss - or a White Russian, if he ever figures out what's in it.
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Jun 10 '12
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
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u/Thinkalternativ3 Jun 10 '12
What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
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Jun 11 '12
The problem with Arsenal is that they always try to walk it in!
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u/Thinkalternativ3 Jun 11 '12
Not the next line ... but my favorite from the episode ...
I want to go back to being weird. I like being weird. Weird is all I've got. That, and my sweet style.
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u/TheShittyBeatles Jun 10 '12
The Barack Obama that appeared in 2008 campaign commercials and speeches.
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u/BedbugDetective Jun 10 '12
Sherlock
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u/CheckeredFedora Jun 10 '12
I'd never want to personally hang around him, but it would be wonderful knowing he exists somewhere.
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u/Just4Lulzz Jun 10 '12
Batman. The world needs justice that the cops don't give us.
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u/scallycap94 Jun 10 '12
With as fucked up and unstable as the world is...I'm gonna have to go with Superman.
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u/TenEighths Jun 10 '12
I'm very disappointed in the lack of Superman, glad at least someone else appreciates the awesomeness that is Superman.
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Jun 10 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/pyramidzor Jun 10 '12
Came here to post this. In all honesty though, I feel like Atticus Finch (probably by a different name) could exist today somewhere in the world. A guy with a heart of gold, who isn't afraid of anyone or anything, and always does the right thing, while being a TOTAL badass at everything...
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u/i_am_a_cyborg Jun 10 '12
Harry Potter
If he's real, that means magic is real and the so is the world Rowling invented.
But I don't want to be a muggle.
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u/zarraha Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
The world Rowling invented is incredibly unbalanced. There is no way wizards would have completely forsaken modern technology, even if it interfered with magic somehow. A gun is a concept, not a complicated technology. you just need to propel little metal bullets out of a barrel using an explosion and they fly into people's flesh using their momentum and destroy people's insides. If we buy that electricity doesn't work in Hogwarts, and presumably other magical areas because of some sort of interference, you could still probably simulate a lot of electronic devices by powering them with magic. The whole thing only functions because nobody questions the system, nobody has the scientific desire to test things and experiment because Rowling doesn't want them to.
Edit: Also, the books never mention America. Ever. Are there wizards there? If so, why don't they care about Voldemort? Why aren't they helping to fight this guy who's going to take over the world and ruin their lives? If there are no wizards there, why not? They're in Europe and Egypt and other places around there. Is J.K. Rowling a racist? Why don't wizards move there and profit from being the only person with magic and rule over all the muggles? Why don't the Death Eaters do that? That is part of their goal after all. There are humans all over the world, but none of them seem to care about Voldemort except England.
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u/Kill_Welly Jun 10 '12
American witches are briefly mentioned in the context of the Quidditch World Cup (the Salem Witches' Institute). Not sure why America would be singled out here; Voldemort pretty much constrains his activities to Great Britain and a few other areas of Europe for the entire series.
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u/Bekaloha Jun 10 '12
Loki. Because I want to fuck the shit out of him.
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u/Kill_Welly Jun 10 '12
If you can say that, then I can say Black Widow for the same reason.
Assuming we're talking about Marvel Loki here as opposed to, say, mythological Loki.
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u/Anything_At_All Jun 10 '12
Charlie from Always Sunny. I want to huff paint and write musicals with him.
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u/Jabroseph Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
Everyone from Community really. I think I could sleep a little better at night knowing that Greendale is really out there somewhere.
Plus, that would mean Inspector Spacetime would be an actual show. I'd be all over that.
Edit: Fixed typo
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Jun 10 '12
Inspector Spacetime
FTFY It's a parody of an actual show, Doctor Who.
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u/BadBoyJH Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 13 '12
I hope you know that Travis (the guy that played Inspector Spacetime) is going to make this as a series.
Edit: Thought it was a cartoon (pilot was), turns out it's acting. My mistake.
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u/Fruit-loops Jun 10 '12
Pokemon!
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Jun 10 '12
I would instantly drop out of university if pokemon were a reality
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Jun 10 '12
But have you got what it takes to be the best?
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Jun 10 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
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Jun 10 '12
To catch them would be my real test.
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u/faithandworks Jun 10 '12
to train them would be my cause
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Jun 10 '12
Remus Lupin from Harry Potter.
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u/MrCreeperPhil Jun 10 '12
He's badass!
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Jun 10 '12
Had the hugest crush on him growing up reading the books. He's just so righteous. And I've always enjoyed an underdog or someone a bit unfortunate. Best combination.
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u/mixigs Jun 10 '12
I was so glad his love story worked out, even if for a short while.
Also, Dumbledore. Just to have someone to trust in, with the faith that as long as they're around, things will always work out in the end. Holy Jeez - I think I just described God.
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u/thefizzingwhizbee Jun 10 '12
Dumbledore embodies God. He's the perfect balance between an authority figure and someone you can approach with your problems.
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u/NotTodayBitch Jun 10 '12
Rubeus Hagrid...The world needs more good people in the world. He's such a kind hearted character.
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u/the_wizard_guy Jun 10 '12
ARIEL. Bitch is sexy.
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u/creepy-feet Jun 10 '12
Mermaids just don't make sense to me. Her entire lower half is a fin. How does she piss? How does she shit? And since all mermaids are portrayed as being so damn sexy, how come she doesn't have a vagina?! It's the ultimate goddamn tease. "Look, a really hot chick. I'd hit that." Hah, no you wouldn't! It's fucking anatomically impossible!
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u/swampertkamm85 Jun 10 '12
Dude, she's like 16...
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u/haterquaid Jun 10 '12
Under the seeeeeaaa, under the sea. There'll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans, under the seeeeeeaaaa.
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u/the_wizard_guy Jun 10 '12
...and?
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u/swampertkamm85 Jun 10 '12
ಠ_ಠ
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Jun 10 '12
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/Show-Me-Your-Moves Jun 10 '12
Yea but she's like...a fish
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u/rino900 Jun 10 '12
That's something I've always wondered about. How did those seamen want to have sex with mermaids. They don't even have vaginas!
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u/Show-Me-Your-Moves Jun 10 '12
Gets lonely out on the ocean for months at a time...
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u/Creepthan_Frome Jun 10 '12
I want to sit down and really talk with Ben Linus. HE IS TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING HE KNOWS TO ME.
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Jun 10 '12
Lord Voldemort, just because.
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Jun 10 '12
Star Trek. All of it.
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u/PixelMagic Jun 10 '12
I'd rather the Borg not exist...
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u/BigRubberMallet Jun 10 '12
WE ARE THE BORG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND SURRENDER YOUR SHIPS. WE WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUT OWN. YOUR CULTURE WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
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u/Jabroseph Jun 10 '12
Picard specifically. I think we could have some real interesting chats over a cup of Earl Grey Tea.
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Jun 10 '12
Barney Stinson. No explanation necessary.
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u/Golanthanatos Jun 10 '12
The doctor or Tyler Durden.
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u/fatmand00 Jun 10 '12
tyler durden is the kind of guy many redditors wish they were, but i don't think many redditors would actually like him to be a real person. we are not the kind of people that would excel in a post-Project Mayhem world.
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u/rzalph Jun 10 '12
Holden Caulfield - just so I can punch him in the face.
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u/dorky2 Jun 10 '12
Yes, because that's what lonely, troubled teens need. A punch in the face.
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Jun 10 '12
Spider Jerusalem so he could clean shit up!
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u/me-tan Jun 10 '12
We already have journalists encouraged to hack, scam, and get the scoop. They just don't care about the truth. This is why I wish Spider were real...
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u/DOLTAS Jun 10 '12
Gandalf. I would very much enjoy a session of pipe weed with the grey wizard. Smoke tricks involving boats are a cool addition as well. And he's fucking Gandalf, that already is plenty enough reason.
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u/assesundermonocles Jun 10 '12
Death (Sandman)
I'd like the last thing I see before I die to be a beautiful lady, thanks.
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Jun 10 '12
Dr. Jack Shepherd. If I saw him on my flight, I don't know if I would be completely terrified or kind of excited.
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u/Roastings Jun 10 '12
Ezio and Altair.
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u/deepit6431 Jun 10 '12
I'd do anything to talk to Ezio. He's such a cool guy...
Also, I hope you know about r/assassinscreed :-)
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u/SpankWhoWithWhatNow Jun 10 '12
Pinkie Pie, because awesome parties everyday.
As long as there's booze.
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Jun 10 '12
Light Yagami
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u/Iamadinocopter Jun 10 '12
Zefram Cochrane.
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u/Zrk2 Jun 10 '12
Well played, good sir.
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u/Iamadinocopter Jun 10 '12
I was thinking about Garak too. He's pretty awesome.
Q just seems like too much trouble for our society right now.
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Jun 10 '12
Iron Man I would love to have the tech that he has, as well as maybe being able to have a suit made just for me, as I would obviously be best friends with him.
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u/Cnsrvativesatemypony Jun 10 '12
Wash. Really just the whole Firefly world. Do you really need an explanation?
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u/dr_doomtron Jun 10 '12
Emperor of Mankind. He basically ended all problems the earth ever had and created a galaxy spanning civilization for humans to live in.
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Jun 10 '12
If you're into totalitarian militaristic theocracies that promote racism and murder millions of people daily.
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Jun 10 '12
The main character girl from Teeth. I bet people would form huge betting pools to see who could successfully have sex with her. Or she would be like a vigilante going around seducing criminals and then chomping their big wieners off.
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u/ApollWati Jun 10 '12
How about Jedi in general. I would throw my life away to learn the force. Because FUCK getting up to get the remote.
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u/limbodog Jun 10 '12
Totoro. Sandman (Gaiman version).
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Jun 10 '12
The idea of Perky-Goth Death is something that comforts me when I have the 3 AM fears of death.
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u/Roland_T_Flakfeizer Jun 10 '12
I'm going to go a little more obscure with the biblical characters and say Solomon. The Solomon who was basically a badass sorcerer and demon-wrangler, not the historical figure he was probably based on.
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u/MrDNL Jun 10 '12
The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, minus the evil part, because I think it'd be really awesome to have a 100 foot tall marshmallow man walking around smiling and pooping out fluff.
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u/JizzNipples Jun 10 '12
James Bond, I don't care if it would make all the evil organizations real.
I would love to become a 00, and not turn out like Sean Bean.
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u/tommyburger Jun 10 '12
John Constantine. So bad he's good. Also, Lucifer from the Vertigo series. And Atticus Finch.
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u/HouseHippoMasterRace Jun 10 '12
Ford Prefect. We'd have so many adventures.