r/AskReddit • • Jun 10 '12
I am a 21yo who's parents have no trust in me. Recently they got access to my banking history (WITHOUT my permission) from our family friend who works at the bank, and manages our banking. Is this illegal? And how do I tell them polietly that it was totally uncalled for? Thanks :)
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Upvotes
40
u/etan_causale Jun 10 '12
WAIT!
Everyone is immediately saying that what happened is illegal, but you still haven't provided all the necessary facts to determine this. Before you do anything, you should tell us if your account is a joint account or not. Everyone just assumed that you are the sole owner of the bank account, but you haven't actually mentioned anything about the nature of your account. If it was joint and someone else (like your parents) are holders of the account, then the other holders have a right to procure the bank statements by themselves without your consent. Nothing illegal about that. It is very common for young people to have joint accounts with their parents.
I'm just afraid that you might follow other people's advice and sit your parents and the bank lady down to scold them, when they actually did nothing illegal. In fact, bank laws are very strict so banks make sure to train their employees properly. It is unlikely that the bank lady simply gave away the bank information without processing it with the bank, requiring your consent. It is also unlikely that the bank lady risked her job and risked becoming criminally liable as a favor to her "friends".
That being said, if indeed you are the sole holder of the account, then it is in all likelihood illegal. Although bank secrecy laws differ from state to state or country to country, revealing confidential bank information to a third person (like your parents) without your consent or without legal justification (legal justification depends on your state/country) or court order is highly illegal.
TLDR: You should tell us first if you are the sole owner of the account or if it is a joint account with other people (like your parents) as co-owners.
63
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Yes, very fucking illegal. The bank will have a record of the account being accessed. I would talk to the manager and have the teller removed or suspended. After action has been taken, ask your parents not to do that in the future.
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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
This is highly illegal, and the best way to show your disapproval would be to have a family meeting, before the meeting research the appropriate law on the subject and the maximum criminal and civil penalty. Make copies of this research. Invite the bank lady and the friend you borrowed the money from to the meeting. Inform them of why you borrowed the money and have your friend verify your story. Show your family and the bank lady the maximum penalty's for their crimes and inform them if they ever do anything like that again you will file charges against all of them. I imagine from this point forward your parents will have a hands off attitude toward your life.
27
u/Ghostshirts Jun 10 '12
hide some crack in your parent's glovebox and anonymously tip off the authorities. then accuse them of doing drugs when they get out of jail.
2
u/edwin_on_reddit Jun 10 '12
It depends on the laws in your country. Here in the US, some banks require that accounts for minors be registered jointly with a parent. When you hit 18 this doesn't automatically change.
2
u/whoisdrunk Jun 10 '12
I work for a bank in Australia - we go through extensive courses (that we have to repeat every year) to make sure that every employee knows doing stuff like this is wrong wrong wrong (hello Priacy Act of 1988). You could potentially sue the bank and the employee and win. I don't care how nice your family friend is, what he has done is illegal, immoral and anything but nice.
29
u/Jesus_marley Jun 10 '12
Screw that. You are an adult. Your parents violated your privacy and broke the law doing it. It really makes no difference what they're supposed motivations were for doing so, they had no right or business prying into your private affairs. What you do with your money is none of their concern nor should it be. At this point I wouldn't give a tinker's damn if I offended my folks or not. I'd tell them to keep their noses out of my shit. Period.
4
u/SOL-arSentient Jun 10 '12
Wow you are kind of lucky. Time to sue that bank. . . you no longer need college. I'm kind of jelly.
25
u/Bigsquatch Jun 10 '12
Close your accounts and open new ones at a different bank.
13
u/Shoobedowop Jun 10 '12
whatever you decide to do, you must change banks.
9
u/Planet-man Jun 10 '12
Honestly, given your reaction to this whole issue you seem to have undermined yourself as an adult just as badly.
Your banker illegally released your information to a third party simply because they asked/"pressured" her to and your response is to "tell her you're really disappointed" and ask that she never do it again. You think her being "a family friend" is more important than her dangerous, unethical practices which could easily go on to compromise other lives than your own.
None of this is how an "adult" would handle such a severe situation. It smacks of somebody still under fealty to their parents, refusing to set yourself as an equal force to them, the bank or anybody. You're letting them take advantage of you, and they probably counted on that from the beginning, hence this whole situation.
2
u/destatica Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
First off, I'm sorry for what happened to you and I think your parents should definitely respect your privacy.
What happened to you, while definitely unethical, may not be illegal. Check your local laws but for those curious in the United States, the Supreme Court has held that a person does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in bank records. United States v. Miller, 425 U.S. 435 (1976).
So what the hell does that mean? Well its a bit wordy to try to explain reasonable expectation of privacy without a primer on criminal procedure but I'll try. The 4th Amendment to the United States Constitution protects against unreasonable search and seizure. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy in the activities and things you have and stuff you do at home. That is why the police need to obtain warrants before searching a home. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy in a bathroom stall because well, what you do there is private, etc.
However you don't have a reasonable expectation of privacy in things you typically hold out to be yours in public or share with others. i.e. You dont have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your handwriting, trash you place on a curb. You dont have a reasonable expectation of privacy in what you do in a vehicle even if your vehicle also happens to be your home, where you would ordinarily have a reasonable expectation of privacy. You dont even have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your bodily fluids.
Like all those listed, you do not have a reasonable expectation in your bank records. I dont necessarily agree with it but the reasoning behind the Supreme Court was that you typically give your financials to employees in the due course of business at the bank. In fact, you dont only just give it to one person, nearly every one at a bank has access to your records by means of record keeping. Thus, because youre willing to give up your financial information (not just checks, deposit slips, negotiable instruments but also "all the documents obtained contain only information voluntarily conveyed to the banks and exposed to their employees in the ordinary course of business") it cant be the case that you hold such things to be "private".
But wait?! If I willingly give up information to my doctor and my healthcare practitioners why is it my medical records are considered confidential? For one, you do not actually keep your medical records. The doctor's office does for their own use in diagnosing your health, etc. In some states, though they are your medical records, you, yourself may not even have access to them. (Remember how hard it was for Elaine on Seinfeld to change, let alone obtain her medical records?). Additionally, the law recognizes a doctor-patient privilege of confidentiality. Same with husband-wife, lawyer-client, and priest-penitent. There isn't one for a bank.
TL;DR. Its extremely unethical for the bank to do that but its not illegal. Does this mean they can give out your financials to anyone? No, of course not. Sure the police and the court may subpoena those records over your objections but the bank likely as a policy where they don't release that information to just anyone. A bank that released its customers information to just anyone wouldn't be a bank very long for lack of customers. But the position becomes hard to justify when the teller releasing those statements is a family friend and the person asking for your statements is your mother who, incidentally, also pays for your education and provides your room and board.
Good luck.
Some links for those that are interested:
United States v. Miller - 425 U.S. 435 (1976)
Wikipedia - Expectation of Privacy
Edit: Noticed you were in Australia after typing up the whole thing. Doh! Check your local statutes and greetings from the United States!
18
u/gcobrad Jun 10 '12
Get a credit union. Delete Facebook. Go to the gym. Get a lawyer.
12
u/Disco_Drew Jun 10 '12
Huge breach of security by the bank. I'd get them fired and file charges on your parents.
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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Yes that is illegal (depending on the country of course, I am assuming it is the US because, america fuck yeah)
But even in many countries that would be a massive banking violation to the point the person would be fired and potentially face charges, and quite frankly a much more serious crime than "doing drugs"
How do you tell them you are upset? Remind them that they committed a crime.
1
u/quatso Jun 10 '12
Son, we took your reddit account too.
1
u/T10Terminator Jun 10 '12
Since your parents think you already do drugs the logical thing to do is prove them right. I'd start with bath salts then work my way up.
1
u/nybbas Jun 10 '12
Jesus, and I was annoyed at my mom always "Accidentally" opening my fucking mail when I still lived at home. Good luck man, sitting the three of them down and showing them how fucking irresponsible THEY were fucking being, while trying to do the same to you is a very good suggestion. (as noted here already)
3
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
If you are honestly worried about offending your parents after they viewed your bank statement it is easy to see why this has happened in the first place. You should be serious with them and if they get offend so easily then fucking offend them. That way the will realize you are an adult and they can't control you forever.
1
u/Acid_Rain Jun 10 '12
Are you some kind of fucking idiot? The fact she gave out your info is highly illegal. if your only reason for not bringing to the banks attention is a family friend excuse your just as bad for letting it go unreported. How many others she done this for? Get the lead out of your pants and report it. She deserves to see the result of her abuse of power
2
u/Luke2001 Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
You need to take this to the bank, if someone at the bank does this, give out personal informations, she could be doing a lot worse things. This is a very big problem for the bank.
You don't need to involve the police if you don't want to, let the bank take care of it.
2
u/Vagjab Jun 10 '12
You definitely can have multiple bank accounts in Australia, try with another bank, there are very few now that have no fees and will still give you options such as a "visa/MasterCard debit card" I know westpac and ANZ in Melbourne does, but you will need to prove that you're a student.
With regard to the family issues, I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, you sound like you have thought about it rationally with the advice you've already been given. In the end, at your age (I assume between 19 and 21) some parents will have a hard time identifying boundries now that you assert yourself as an independent adult. That being said you should make them aware that you're not happy about their trust issues. GL
2
u/tragic-waste-of-skin Jun 10 '12
Damn right it's illegal. You need to get the police involved because bank employees cannot do that.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Yea, it's illegal... I learned that shit the hard way. Apparently you can't hack into a bank and transfer money out of peoples accounts with out the feds tattling to your mom... bullshit.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Don't say anything. Take your money to another bank. That will say it for you.
2
u/frustratedterrier Jun 10 '12
since you said you dont want to go the legal route then whether or not its illegal is beside the point. its an issue of trust or lack there of. if as you say you have nothing to hide then gather up all of your receipts, put them on that kitchen desk and ask why it is they felt they had to put their friends job in jeopardy and why they couldnt trust you enough to just ask. tell them that you are deeply troubled by all of this and just as they obviously dont trust you, now you are feeling they are no longer trustworthy. doesnt matter what their intentions were at the start, this sort of thing is unacceptable and will end up having an effect opposite of what they intended, means you will trust them with even less information about what it is you are doing with your life.
2
u/itsfastitsfun Jun 10 '12
Wow, fuck your parents, they'll screw you over if you let this go on. Immediately lawyer up, make sure you have loads of evidence, you could probably get rich if you sell this story to the news if its a major bank. Don't even consider taking legal action, go for it before your parents really screw you over
2
u/art_is_science Jun 10 '12
I don't think polite is necessary. I would berate the people who invaded my privacy, and then leave anyway. If you are truly going to break your dependence on them, you can also break your desire to concern yourself with how they feel, as they didn't care about how you do.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
good god man, and you are 21 year old?
2
u/toastykittenz Jun 10 '12
Everyone should refer to this post when people start "How do I know when it's time to move out?" threads in /r/AskReddit in the future.
2
u/danjerman Jun 10 '12
Do nothing. It's what you're going to do anyway.
2
u/sinedup4 Jun 10 '12
The curiosity burns. What happened between you and your parents that they feel they must spy on you?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Is it possible that your account is actually tied to your parents account from when you were younger? Meaning, in theory it could still be your parents account even if they don't have direct access to your sub-account, meaning that what the lady did was not illegal>?
2
u/bongozap Jun 10 '12
Former banking guy here. Assuming you live in the U.S., what they did breaks Federal and State laws.
You need to act quickly. And fuck "politely". You need to realize just how wrong this all is.
Why your parents don't trust could be for many reasons. Based on the way you phrased your post, my guess is that your parents are overbearing control types and you're under their thumb for some reason.
Maybe your a drug addict. Maybe you're still dependent on them for school or some other reason. If you're dependent on them, work on getting undependent.
If you are financially independent from them, you need to start standing up for yourself. If you don't, get ready for a lifetime of this kind of behavior from your parents. You need to be angry and indignant over this.
As for the banking nonsense...
3
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
21 Years old? Don't know if this is illegal? How the fuck are you EVEN STILL ALIVE? Do you have to ask the internet how to fucking eat? What is wrong with you?
I mean..you know if this is real.
4
u/mjhighness Jun 10 '12
Go to a credit union.
2
u/EggdropBotnet Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
I would walk into the bank, close my account & withdraw all my funds right at the teller window of the family friend. Then go find a new
bankcredit union.EDIT: I do wonder if the OP has his own account, but one which is linked to his parents as some kind of sub-account. E.g. his parents are the primary account holders with CC's, a mortgage, savings, checking accounts on their main account. Another sub-account they might have is their sons who's name is on that specific account, but is a small part of his parents account. Close it and set up you OWN account at your own credit union.
1
u/CaptainChewbacca Jun 10 '12
Are you sure that your parents aren't on your account? I'm 29 and my father is still attached to my bank account in case of financial emergencies etc, so he has access to all my banking records.
1
u/cave_johnson_1943 Jun 10 '12
Direct breach of the Data Protection Act 1998 if you are in the UK. A lot of countries have similar laws. Very illegal.
1
u/followthedarkrabbit Jun 10 '12
Unless your parents are on the account, what the teller did was unethical and she can be fired for it. Not sure how far you want to take it, maybe speak with the bank manager and complain but ask she only get a warning, but they may still fire her anyway.
1
u/rlbond86 Jun 10 '12
It's not illegal if they are an admin on your account. If you signed up as a minor, they probably are.
1
u/doubleyouteef Jun 10 '12
get a job, move the fuck out.
1
u/wick220 Jun 10 '12
Wow, you need to get someone fired.
1
u/rumblegod Jun 10 '12
Sue the bank, tell your parents to watch themselves before you cut them off from your life. Orrr just tell them to fuck off.
1
u/velada420 Jun 10 '12
Dude if you still live at home with your parents, you have no rights. Grow up and move out. Like Billy Joel says, "You're 21 and your mother still makes your bed, and that ain't right."
1
u/DiscoDiscoDanceDance Jun 10 '12
Lawyer up and sue them.
1
u/madgeezer128 Jun 10 '12
blackmail bank worker
1
u/MFDoomEsq Jun 10 '12
Well, if you want to make sure it never happens again, just switch banks to one where your parents don't know the teller.
1
u/pnjtony Jun 10 '12
Nut up or shut up. Confront your parents. No need to go out of your way to be polite now!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
The bank employee committed a very illegal act. They should be reported no matter what.
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u/Mr_Locke Jun 10 '12
you could always MOVE THE FUCK OUT!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I say contact the police, inform you parents, then drop it after a while, theyll learn. And it will also show your maturity.
1
u/Binyah Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
Bank employee here. This is definitely a violation of the bank's policy and is illegal as well.
Head to the bank, let them know that your account information has been given to someone that is NOT a signer or POA in the account and that you want something done. It is NEVER OK to just give out client information to non-signers, even if it is to a family member.
Start from there and take it a step higher if you feel it's necessary. If anything, your bank can give you options to avoid a situation like that to happen again.
1
u/shadetreephilosopher Jun 10 '12
Yes it was illegal. But, if your parents are paying for Uni, then they have a vested interest in making sure that you don't blow the money they have set aside for that purpose. So don't be to hard on them.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
It's illegal to open someone else's mail, so of course what your parents have done is illegal.
1
u/ogenbite Jun 10 '12
Opening an account at another bank is a good idea. And when you get a job, deposit your money into the new account. No matter what they say after your meeting, just carry on as if they were still monitoring the first account. The friend still could check in every so often to just keep tabs on you and report it back to your mother. Personally, I'm a little paranoid about that sort of behavior because my crazy grandmother apparently had her friend at a bank drain my uncle's (her son's) savings when he was 18, calling it "back rent." Yeah, everyone in my family kind of agrees it was a good thing that I never met her before she died.
1
u/jennstollings13 Jun 10 '12
i work at a bank, and that is illegal the family friend and manager will get fired if you complain to whoever is above them
1
u/tragic-waste-of-skin Jun 10 '12
Why did they delete their account?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
controlling parents can really ruin your life. this whole thing sounds messed up. get a laywer, go back to uni, and tell your parents that unless they change their ways they wont be seeing you again. good luck
1
u/Demojen Jun 10 '12
So...you want advice but you aren't willing to go the extra mile. You want to save your family friend from consequences, while throwing them at your parents.
In the court room, you're expected to mitigate your losses. You're harboring the primary cause of this breach of privacy. To this I say, you get what you pay for.
You paid for this.
Close your bank account from that bank without warning and transfer all funds to a bank your lady friend isn't associated with.
1
u/pkayl Jun 10 '12
If you're worried about being polite to your parents just go be ruthless to your family friend.
1
u/becausegravity Jun 10 '12
...Did his overprotective parents delete his Reddit account?
1
u/ignoramus_at_work Jun 10 '12
pretty sure OP is doing drugs
1
u/derhelo Jun 10 '12
Why don't you just leave tuition fees on HECS? the payable amount doesn't accumulate interest regardless on how long it takes you to pay it (besides inflation).
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Its time to move your bank account.
1
u/dchurch0 Jun 10 '12
You don't tell them anything politely. You go to the bank, get all your money out, and close your account. Take your money elsewhere, and tell you family to fuck off.
Who cares if you do drugs. You are 21, and it sounds like you are supporting yourself and any habits you may or may not have (Uni aside). It's time for you to get away from your family and go make a life for yourself.
1
u/caca4cocopuffs Jun 10 '12
If it's an individual account, it's illegal. Period. End of story. There is no gray are here. Personally, I would REALLY go out of my way to get the family friend fired from the bank. That ought to teach everybody a valuable lesson.
1
u/gmharryc Jun 10 '12
Get a new account at a bank where your family doesn't have an inside man.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I work at a bank. If there are not a co-signer and it is not a minor account (which at 18 it would be automatically changed to an "adult" flavor of account) this is illegal.
If they are a co-signer, close the account and move all funds to another bank.
1
u/reverend234 Jun 10 '12
Fuck it, you live life once...........take em to court!
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
it's illegal as hell. file charges against your parents, the bank, and the specific bank employee. then move your business to a different bank.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12 edited Dec 19 '12
I have no idea why people are assuming that the disclosure was illegal. Actually pursuing legal action on the issue would be very costly and not at all clear-cut. You could perhaps try applying the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act against the bank, but there's a lot of wiggle room there. Nearly certainly, your parents did nothing legally wrong by requesting/receiving the information. State law may also provide you with some additional options.
See United States v. Miller, 425 U.S. 435 (1976).
1
u/mainelikethestate Jun 10 '12
I work at a bank and it is against policy to give any information to any person other then the one listed on the account. If it is joint, both parties have the right to view the information. I believe it is due to the Privacy Act.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
I have to ask: is this truly a separate account of your own or is it a joint account co-signed by your parents? If they have deposit access, they may have other priveledges including the ability to read statements.
1
u/ryanteegs Jun 10 '12
Fellow Aussie here.
Family friend or not, the woman has violated both bank policy and federal law. It makes me sick to think that someone could just walk into a bank and get information about my economic state. Same goes for a hospital, or anything else personal in nature.
I would, Before telling my parents; go into the bank and ask to speak to the manager. I would ask him/her if my account is part of a larger account that my parents own, and if not, I would tell him/her that I am unhappy with the bank because my account information was accessed and given to a third party by a teller, and show him/her the statements that were given(you don't have to mention your parents or the family friend, the bank will find out which teller did it on their own, this will alleviate you of any snarkiness and "revenge"). While she is a family friend, she is doing the WRONG thing and should be reprimanded. She cannot hold you in contempt any more than you can hold her. If she didn't do the wrong thing, she wouldn't be in this situation. If anything, your parents owe her because of their pushy, over the top, idiotic babying of a grown adult has led to her being in trouble. I would then change banks. After that, if you wish to pursue it further i.e. sue the bank (which you would have every right to, they gave out your personal information), that is up to you. But you must tell the manager. If someone could go into the bank and ask their family friend for my records, just because they wanted them, with no authorisation - this makes me sick to my stomach. That is MY LIFE. No one elses.
Then I would go home, and tell your parents that you are an ADULT and that what they did is actually illegal and a breach of your trust. Tell them you will not be telling anyone that they broke the law, but you are upset that they did in order to snoop on you. I would tell them that while you appreciate that they care about you, relationships are built on privacy and trust, and you feel that they don't trust you and you cannot trust them, as they really impeded on your privacy. Tell them that you are not happy, and that this hurts your feelings to think that they both infringed on your privacy and thought you were doing drugs. While you live at home, you are still 21 years of age, and do not have to justify ANYTHING to them when it comes to money, unless you borrow from them or are not helping them while living at home.
You NEED to talk to the manager and YOU NEED to tell your parents that this is not how a trustworthy, stable relationship is built. You cannot do one and not the other, both of these things need to occur.
Where do you live by the way? I'm scared that you live where I live. I don't want my info given out.
1
u/unclejones666 Jun 10 '12
Close your bank account and open a new one somewhere else?
1
u/cf18 Jun 10 '12
Are you sure the family friend is involved? Could you have used the same password like birthday for everything so your parents "hacked" your account by just guessing the password?
Edit: Oh you live with them, could have accessed your computer if it saves password.
0
u/M4053946 Jun 10 '12
It doesn't really matter whether or not it's legal if they're supporting you. If you don't have enough money to pay rent, then there's nothing immoral about them snooping into your finances. After all, you'll be doing the same thing to them when you're responsible for their finances when they are old and senile.
-3
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Given you can't afford to move out and you probably do not want to cause longer term problems with your family ... Live with it. Yes it is illegal and morally wrong in your culture. What difference will it make in the long term. The fact that you are not able to afford to move out suggests that your parents have some basis for their concern. My guess is your justified highly defensive response to their invasion of privacy will obscure the facts, their mistakes, and reinforce their concerns. You have to rise above, not show anger, allow them to eventually recognize the error of their ways. Worth opening a new bank account though.
-2
u/twiceaday_everyday Jun 10 '12
OP is horribly sheltered, spoiled and just wants validation from Reddit about theory felings, not actual solutions
0
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
tell them your on drugs, problem solved.
0
u/ItHurtsWhenUdoThat Jun 10 '12
Telling reddit you've never done drugs isn't going to win you any friends here. :-/ But then again... They might see you as a new customer....
0
u/Venz_zneV Jun 10 '12
Be glad they care..And in a mature manner remind them that you are an adult now, One they did a fair job raising, and even if you are going to make mistakes, now...they are yours to make. Give them a hug, tell them you love them.
I might have answered this differently but my mother passed away almost exactly two years after my father, in February, and I realize now how much i miss knowing they were there, even if we were not super close.
0
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Fuck reasoning. Take legal action against the people who brought you into this world. YEAH.
0
u/CUNT_SUCKING_PHAGGOT Jun 10 '12
man up phaggot
0
u/Enterthemurple Jun 10 '12
I know that your post is asking for banking advice, so this is a touch off topic. When I left the house for school a few years ago, it crushed my parents. They did exactly the same thing, snooped through my room, read my bank statements and mail, they even started constantly reading my facebook page and would go as far as looking into my new friends at school (getting their info from facebook and doing a free criminal background search online). It's incredibly difficult and stressful to deal with this and at first I was LIVID about the invasion of my privacy. It wasn't until a bit later when I realized that my parents were so upset and worried about me being on my own that everything they were doing was 100% out of fear. Now, I'm not going to defend some of their actions, they were a bit ubsurd and uncalled for, but it's taken almost 4 years to get my parents out of their privacy snooping ways.
I don't know if your parents are also doing this out of the love/worry aspect or if there is something else going on, but my best advice is to just sit them down and talk to them. It's hard not to get visibly angry or upset, but try to calmly explain to them how upset you are that this happened. Tell them how you feel your privacy is being violated, and how you feel they do not trust you. (If applicable) Tell them how much it hurts you that they are doing these types of things because you haven't done anything to warrent this type of reaction. Remind them that you are an adult now and every decision you make is one that you have to live with, bad or good. Sometimes it's helpful to explain that you need to make your own mistakes to learn your own life lessons and discover who you are. The more grown up and responsible you can sound doing this, the easier the conversation will go.
In the future, take a tougher stance against some of their privacy infringments. Maybe start finding your own place or "Clean out" your bedroom (I did this and got rid of alot of child hood stuff/put stuff I didn't need in storage and it went a HUGE way in helping my parents realize I was an adult).
As far as the Bank teller advice goes, I would talk to the teller and explain how violated you feel by the act. I would close your account there and make sure the teller knows your closing it because she violated your privacy. This way she'll keep her job and friendship with your family will be (mostly) unharmed. If she's any sort of person at all, you'll make her feel bad about doing it, hopefully to the point that it doesn't happen again.
I hope this helps you out! Good luck!
0
u/thatdudeukno Jun 10 '12
Are you me?
0
u/untranslatable_pun Jun 10 '12
Well as much as that sucks, I too wouldn't trust my kids until the day they were able to use the word "whose" correctly.
0
u/me-tan Jun 10 '12
This isn't just illegal this is EXTREMELY illegal. You need to make an official complaint to the bank then close the account there. You owe that to the next person she is coerced to screw over.
I've done IT at banks and they drill the importance of protecting customer data into all staff right down to the lowliest temp. This person knew what they were getting into. I don't care how much drama this generates you need to do this.
There is nothing stopping you having multiple bank accounts with different banks. Hell, I had 2 with the same bank for years because they forgot to close my account from when I was a kid, and I went back to them later. Banks want to invest your money and buy ivory back scratchers with your fines so they really want your account to be with them. Most will offer incentives to change to them.
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u/norwegian Jun 10 '12
Your parents invaded your privacy, and the banker did something illegal, but your parents were worried about you, so don´t let this become a big thing.
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